duende

.:promise:.
chapter one

She found him sitting on the ground with his back pressed against the trunk of a large tree. At first glance, she thought he was dead. His ashen, dirty skin hung from his face, which appeared far too gaunt and pale to be real. The fact that his eyes were closed and his head was tilted to the side at an odd angle only fueled her initial impression. Against her better judgment, Sango stepped forward.

"Kouga?" she asked timidly, her voice wary but hopeful.

He didn't even twitch at the mention of his name. She took another half step toward him and raised her hand to touch him when his lips moved in a low whisper.

"Taiji-ya."

A tremor moved up Sango's spine from the dejected quality of his voice. He didn't sound like himself at all. Exhaustion and hopelessness made his voice sound flat and lifeless, but there was an underlying threat in the way he addressed her that made her skin crawl.

Biting her lip in worry, Sango immediately regretted leaving Kirara at the village. She thought that if she confronted Kouga without her feline partner, he'd feel more comfortable. Sango didn't want to kill him. Not if she didn't have to. If Kouga was feral, bringing a battle ready youkai would only heighten his anxiety. Furthermore, if Kouga decided to return to the village, the cat-youkai would offer some measure of protection.

Now Sango longed for the comfort of Kirara standing beside her.

"They sent you, didn't they?" he asked, sotto voce.

The taiji-ya's fingers clenched at her weapon.

Eyes still closed and voice disturbingly flat, he continued, "I enjoyed it, you know."

The admission brought a flair of warning in Sango's heart and she took an automatic step back. He made no move to threaten her, but he was still youkai. She'd be a fool to let her guard down completely.

Stillness filled the space between them as she waited for him to say something more. As the silence stretched out she began to wonder if he was baiting her. For what reason, she didn't know. All she knew for certain was that Kouga was one of the few who had earned her trust and she owed him. As long as he remained as he was, calm and peaceful, she wouldn't make any move against him, in spite of what he may say.

"Kouga..."

Voice low and course, he said, "I even ate part of him, too."

Swallowing hard, she pushed down her revulsion and whispered the one question that had plagued her since seeing Jiro's body.

"Why?"

• • •

The soft sounds of leaves crinkling under her feet rang loudly in his ears. He waited, eyes closed and body still, as she carefully approached him. She could kill him now so easily. Just one swing of her massive weapon and she could sever him in half, or decapitate him. And all of it - the nightmares, the grief, the loneliness - it would all be gone. He'd be with his tribe, where he should have been all along.

"Kouga?" she asked. The sound of his name on her lips made his muscles tense. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to look at her or remember the past or explain himself - he wanted to die and she was the most capable person to do it. Perhaps she just needed to be reminded of her role.

"Taiji-ya," he whispered. "They sent you, didn't they?" Her scent changed, just a little, and he knew she was growing anxious. Not fearful, but uncertain. "I enjoyed it, you know," he said. He hadn't, but she didn't need to know that. She just needed to do her job.

"Kouga..."

Anger began to coil inside of him. Why was she speaking? Why was she wasting time?

Pitching his voice to sound as cruel as possible, he said, "I even ate part of him, too."

"Why?"

With that one, simple question, Kouga opened his eyes to regard her. He glared at her impatiently as he scrutinized her scent. Where was the bold taiji-ya who faced countless youkai and destroyed them? Who stood against Naraku and survived? Why was she hesitating like a fool? He smelled fear from her before, but this scent, whatever the hell it was, was completely different. She was tense and agitated, but not because she was ready for battle.

Kouga made a dismissive gesture with his hand as he felt his agitation and impatience begin to simmer dangerously, "Do your job, taiji-ya!"

Her lips quivered with uncertainty, but her weapon remained low to the ground. Sango simply stared at him in open wonder. Then she spoke and the raw concern in her voice made Kouga hate himself even more. "What happened to you?"

He stared at her, incredulous. What was wrong with her? She was a warrior! Kouga had torn a young man to shreds not twenty-four hours ago. Human blood still stained his clothes. There was no hiding his crime. Why was she hesitating?

As Kouga peered at her, realization hit him hard in the gut. Her voice, her eyes, the way she held her weapon... she felt compassion for him.

With a swiftness not seen since the night Naraku died, Kouga lashed out at her. His upper body jerked forward as his claws sliced through the air, tearing the fabric of her uniform to scrape the tender flesh within. She gave a startled cry and jumped backwards, Hiraikotsu immediately brought up to shield her.

It would do her no good. He would hurt her. He would wound her until that softness left her eyes. Until his name was said with the contempt he deserved.

And then he would let her kill him.

Breathing hard through gritted teeth, he slowly advanced toward her on all fours. Her eyes went wide with shock as he allowed his wolf nature begin to manifest. Dense, dark fur slowly materialized as his body hovered on the edge of complete transformation. He snarled at her, revealing his elongated fangs that now extended well below his bottom lip.

The scent of her fear pleased him. Lips pulled back from his teeth, he growled, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth. In her shock she did not move. And he was slowly closing the distance between them. Another few steps and he would be close enough to slash at her again. This time he would tear skin and muscle. He would make her bleed until her survival instincts took over and she acted like the warrior he knew she was.

When that happened, his misery would finally end.

• • •

Years of training snapped Sango out of her paralysis and she retreated backward, carefully trying to avoid tripping over the exposed tree roots. He was getting dangerously close. Kouga advanced toward her slowly, each movement purposeful and tense. Tail low, eyes narrowed and fur bristled, Sango swallowed hard as she tried to reign in her fear.

I need to get some distance between us, she thought, narrowly avoiding being tripped by the terrain. But I can't turn my back to him. I can't run.

A strange whine-like growl emanated from his throat and Sango was startled to realize that he had actually spoken her name. He almost seemed to laugh at her reaction and a new fear formed a tight knot in the taiji-ya's belly.

Kouga was taunting her.

A surprised 'eep' escaped her lips as her heel caught on something. It took only a second to regain her footing and she looked up in time to see the Yourouzoku prepare to lunge at her. Claws lashing out at her once more, she was forced to raise the Hiraikotsu defensively and jump back. Panic flooded her senses as she fell backward, her foot ensnared by another exposed root.

He pounced on her then, straddling her and pinning her upper arm with his knee. She struggled in vain before he pressed his clawed hand around her throat. Brown eyes wide with shock, her heart went cold. He was salivating over her... on her.

"K-kouga..!"

Aqua eyes blinked at the sound of his name and Sango recognized comprehension in his features. Her eyes pleaded with him as she called out to him once more.

"Kouga, stop—!"

"Shut up!" he grated, his hand squeezing her throat. "You're here to exterminate me, right? Do it or I'll kill you, too!"

Sango gasped and coughed as she struggled for air, adrenaline demanding she dislodge his hand from her throat immediately. She hit him several times with her free hand before attacking his face with her fingernails. Slender fingertips dug into his cheek, drawing a modicum of blood and an angry hiss. He pulled his face out of her reach and shifted all of his weight onto the knee that was pinning her other arm. White-hot bolts of pain shot through her body as her bicep bruised under his weight. Tears stung her eyes, but she bit back the pain as she reached for his face again and tried to scratch out his eyes.

With an abrupt grunt, Kouga whipped his face to the side, caught her fingers between his teeth, and held them hard. She felt his teeth break the skin and feared that the taste of her blood would cause him to fully transform. If he did, he would tear her apart.

A shiver moved through her, but she still attempted to glare at him defiantly, all the while waiting for him to bite her fingers clean off. He watched her for a long moment and the pressure on her digits slowly lessened. His eyes narrowed into thin slits before a low growl vibrated from his throat.

He's holding back his wolf nature. He doesn't want to kill me... he wants...

Sango stared into his eyes and understood. "You want me to kill you," she murmured.

He bit down harder and Sango cried out in pain. Terror gripped her when Kouga's body seemed to shimmer and morph. He was giving in to his wolf-nature.

Emboldened by the thought of him fully transformed and consumed by blood lust, her struggles became frantic. She bucked her hips and used her knee to hit Kouga in the back, throwing him off balance as his weight shifted away from her pinned arm. Sango wrestled herself free and hit him squarely in the temple. The impact caused him to release her from his mouth and she quickly reached for her blade.

She didn't notice him suddenly relax on top of her, allowing her easier access to the weapon. Nor did she detect his lack of reaction as she screamed and plunged the blade into his body.

• • •

The wound wouldn't stop bleeding. Try as she might, blood continued to seep from the deep incision as it stubbornly refused to coagulate fully. If she couldn't get the bleeding to stop soon, he would die.

With an ounce of hope, Sango peaked at the injury under the makeshift bandage she fashioned from her shredded sash. It wasn't getting any better. Reaching for more fabric, she tore off a long strip and pressed it against the wound when clawed fingers weakly tried to push her hands away.

"Let it go," he whispered.

Sango turned wide, tearful eyes to the Yourouzoku prince, surprised to find him conscious. His eyelids flickered as he fought to stay awake.

"Please... Sango."

"No!" She batted his hand away and pressed the fabric against his torso. "I'm not going to let you die!"

"You don't... understand—"

"Shut up," she ordered, unwilling to look at him and see the bleak longing for death shining in his eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with you Kouga, but I know you. You're my friend and I'm not going to be responsible for your death!"

Only the nighttime silence of the forest answered her and fear gripped her. Eyes stinging from tears, she turned to regard the youkai that once risked his life to save her brother and was relieved to see that he still lived, he had merely lost consciousness again.

"I'm going to help you, Kouga," she whispered. "I owe you that much."

• • •

The walk back to the village took longer than she anticipated. Worry for Kouga gnawed at her heart as she waited for the village chief to see her. She had left him passed out in the middle of the woods, the scent of blood all around him. She did her best to hide him and mask the scent of his wound, but animals were always on the hunt for an easy meal. Kouga, in his current mental state, would probably allow himself to be scavenged.

Will Ichiro demand to see Kouga's body? What will I say if he does..?

Sango fidgeted with her hair for a while, then began to absently rub the edge of Hiraikotsu. Sensing her anxiety, Kirara rubbed her calf affectionately before jumping into the taiji-ya's lap. She smiled down at her partner as she scratched her behind the ears.

"I could have used your help last night, Kirara."

The cat-youkai pushed her head into Sango's palm and mewed.

Hushed whispers caught Sango's attention and she looked up to see several women walk past and gawk at her appearance. The taiji-ya offered a timid smile through her embarrassed blush, feeling keenly aware of how ghastly she probably looked. The bloodstains were glaringly obvious and she could feel the dirt that shadowed her face. At times like this, her femininity was her greatest enemy. It attacked her self-confidence at her most sensitive spot.

Life would be much simpler if she behaved the way in which she was expected, but she would never be satisfied. Still, like any human, she had her moments of weakness. The whispers and gawks only served to remind her of the unorthodox and solitary path she chose, but she did not regret becoming a taiji-ya. It was a source of pride and strength for her.

Even so, she did carry some regrets. And much loneliness.

When the women disappeared from view, Sango hastily rubbed her face with saliva-wet fingers. She let her hair down and worked out the tangles as best she could with her fingers, then fastened her tresses back as neatly as possible. Dusting off her uniform, Sango frowned as she examined the many bloodstains and four horizontal slashes across her rib cage. She doubted she would be able to repair the damage, which meant she'd have to make a new uniform all together.

With a tired exhale, she dipped her head down and closed her eyes. The muscles in her back slowly began to relax as she let her thoughts wander aimlessly. The image of the man she loved floated to the forefront of her mind, invoking the familiar stirrings of grief and loneliness that haunted her daily. As she struggled to push her memories of the past in the back of her mind, a hand suddenly patted her on the shoulder causing her to squeak in alarm.

"Sorry," came a sheepish female voice. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's okay," Sango replied, equally chagrined.

The woman smiled kindly. "Ichiro is ready to see you now. Follow me, please."

Sango rose silently and followed the older woman inside the house. They passed through two rooms before she turned her face toward the taiji-ya and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please."

The woman led her into the third room and motioned toward the zabuton directly in front of Ichiro. With a polite bow, she excused herself to prepare some tea. Sango thanked her once more before kneeling in front of the man who hired her.

He eyed her for several long seconds before speaking. "You're injured?"

"Not badly." She gestured to the front of her uniform, "This blood isn't mine."

"I see." His eyes lingering on the bloodstains and rips throughout her uniform, "So it's dead?"

Sango gave an enigmatic half smile.

"He has been taken care of," she said. "It is unlikely that you will ever see any other wolf-youkai for the rest of your life."

A cup of tea was set before her and Ichiro. Sango smiled her thanks to the woman of the house before sipping the hot liquid.

"Is that so?"

Sango nodded as she took another sip.

"The Yourouzoku exist no more and the chances of another wolf-youkai tribe relocating to this area is highly unlikely."

Ichiro gave a half-hearted smile, but said nothing. The silence weighed heavily upon Sango, feeding her guilt. She didn't like lying to her host, but she couldn't allow Kouga to be killed.

"I– I'm sorry about your loss, Ichiro-san."

The village chief flinched ever so slightly, the delicate movement causing Sango's throat to constrict. He opened his mouth to speak, only to have the words die in his throat. He coughed instead, nodded and then quickly looked away from her. Even so, the pain clouding his features was obvious, but Sango respected his pride and pretended not to notice.

After a moment, he regained control over his emotions and returned her gaze, his voice carefully even. "Please allow me to feed and clothe you as a token of my gratitude, Sango-san."

The taiji-ya hesitated and opened her mouth to politely refuse when Ichiro called to his wife.

"Aiko, prepare a bath for Sango-san and cook a meal for her, too."

Aiko smiled as her husband glanced at the taiji-ya once more, quickly assessing her state.

"And prepare a place for her to get some rest!" he added.

"Ichiro-san," Sango interjected, "I appreciate what you're doing but that isn't necessary. Please don't trouble yourself."

"You should stay the night," Aiko said in a reassuring tone. "You look like you could use the sleep."

"Oh, no... that's okay." Sango stumbled as she thought of Kouga, "I– I feel fine... but I can't stay. I have to be somewhere early tomorrow morning."

Ichiro turned questioning eyes to the young woman. "You have another job already?"

"Yes," Sango nodded quickly, latching onto the convenient excuse. "I have some things I promised to take care of."

Ichiro's face sagged slightly. "Well, at the very least, take a moment to get cleaned up. I can't let you leave with soiled clothing and an empty stomach."

Aiko readily agreed, remarking under breath that Sango could probably fit one of their daughter's kimonos.

"No, please... I—"

"We insist," Aiko said gently just before she exited the room, the finality of her statement forcing Sango to give up her end of the fight.

Ichiro smiled at Sango warmly, the lines around his eyes crinkling. He was grateful to her.

Sango winced internally when her guilt roared up inside her. Ichiro and his wife were kind people. People not that unlike her own parents. All they wanted was justice for their lost son, and Sango understood exactly how they felt.

Forcing a smile, Sango did her best to hide her deceit. Perhaps if they knew who Kouga was and what he had done for her they might understand why she couldn't kill him. If they knew how selfless Kouga could truly be, maybe they could understand her willingness to do a disservice to her taiji-ya heritage and nurse him back to health. Perhaps then they would understand the debt she owed him.

But Sango knew that even if she could explain it to them, they wouldn't understand. Not when their son was only a day in the ground. More than that, they would be right to be upset with her.

Offering a polite smile, Sango forced her voice to be steady. "I really appreciate this, sir, thank you. You are very kind."