A/N: To those of you who are unaware (and haven't read CS) Abby's mom died in a hiking accident (please don't ask me how I came up with that one - LOL!) four years before Cam died in a car accident. Cam is back - obviously - her mom is not. In EYHD - Abby meets her mom up above and makes peace with all this. Just so you know. ;) - Until - OMG - 47!!! Have a lovely holiday one and all!!! xox-G
Chapter Forty-six
Abby walked into the waiting room, bringing Becky with her. She clutched her aunt's hand tightly, her face still full of fear. As soon as he saw them come in, Rafe rushed over and scooped Becky up in his arms, hugging her tightly.
Abby glanced around the waiting room, giving Chloe a smile. She saw Kate sitting in a corner of the room, pale and quiet. She made her way over to sit down beside her.
"Hey, Angel Face..." Rafe whispered, hoping to comfort his little girl. He'd done such a bad job earlier he was wracked with guilt. He ran a hand over her hair and kept her close.
"Daddy?" She asked softly. "Is Mommy still sleeping? Aunt Abby said no."
Rafe held her tighter and sighed. "Aunt Abby's right. She's awake now. And you know what?"
"What?" Becky asked with a sniffle.
"She's been waiting to see you." He replied with a smile as he pulled back to get a look at her sweet little face.
"She's not mad?" Becky asked, her lip quivering.
"At you baby? No. Of course not." Rafe assured her.
She wiped at her eyes with her little fist. "Because I should've put my bunny away. Mommy always says not to leave him on the stairs or someone will trip over him."
Rafe's heart shattered. He stared into his daughter's eyes, begging her to understand. "Becky. No. Your mom didn't fall because you left him on the stairs. You should've put him away - that's right - but she didn't fall because of you."
"You promise?" She asked, sobbing a bit.
"Yeah, sweetie. I promise." He replied with a sigh as he kissed her cheek softly. He couldn't believe he'd made such a mess of things. "What do you say, Angel Face? Do you want to go see her now?"
"OK." Becky said as she took a deep breath.
Rafe took one too as he carried her to Alison's room.
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"Katie, honey? Have you been to see your mom yet?" Abby was exhausted, but she wouldn't rest until she helped to pick up the pieces.
"No..." She whispered. "Not yet."
Abby rubbed her hand over Kate's back. "Why not sweetie? She's been asking for you."
"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry doesn't seem good enough." Kate looked up at Abby, her eyes vacant.
"Katrina." Abby sighed. "There was a lesson your Uncle Cam had to teach me a long time ago. I've tried to teach it to Lynnie too, but she has a tough time of it."
"What's that?" Kate replied, half listening.
"I see the future, but it doesn't make me responsible for what I see. For four years I wondered if I could have saved Cam. For four years before that I wondered if I could have saved my mom. Things happen sweetie, for so many reasons. Sometimes the things that happen are horrible and heartbreaking. When my mom died, I had Cam to turn to. I became a part of his family in a way that I probably wouldn't have had my mother still been around. I loved her, more than anything - but she made me realize that though it was one of the most difficult things I've ever lived through - it was ultimately the way things had to be."
"Are you saying I'm going to lose her too?" Kate began to panic, she was shaking. "No. Please. I can't possibly lose them both - "
Abby was more than a little frightened. Kate was totally distraught. Something was terribly wrong. Abby thought what she was saying would help comfort her niece, but instead, she was in worse shape than before.
"Kate..." Abby tried to get her to focus.
"He's gone. I can't lose her too. I can't...I can't...." She chanted, seemingly in a trance, over and over again. She rocked herself back and forth as Abby tried to get her to stop. Grant had come back to sit with Chloe. They both looked over at Kate with concern.
"Katie?" Grant whispered as he walked over to where she sat. He sat beside her and placed a hand on her hair.
"Go get Ian or Chris, Chloe please?" Abby pleaded as she held Kate in her arms.
Chloe nodded in response and dashed off to find help.
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Reaching the room, Rafe held Becky close as he moved toward Alison's beside.
"You said she was awake..." Becky whispered.
"I am sweetie." Alison replied as she opened her eyes. "There you are. I've been waiting for you. How's my best little girl?"
Rafe placed Becky on the edge of the bed and moved to sit in the chair beside it.
Alison noticed Becky's outfit. It was close to one that Kate owned, and Becky always felt grown up when she wore it. "Don't you look pretty." She said with a smile. "Come here and give me a hug."
Becky leaned in and clung tight, afraid to let go. Alison sighed and held her tighter. Despite how it pained her, Alison shifted so she could hold Becky in her arms. The little girl's head laid on her shoulder.
Rafe saw her wincing but Alison shook her head at him. "It's OK..." She whispered.
"They say little kids can't come in here. I wanted to see you so I wore this to look bigger." Becky said as she smoothed the fabric of the flowered skirt.
Despite her intentions, Alison couldn't believe how little Becky looked.
They sat together like that for a while. Alison pressed kisses to the top of Becky's head, inhaling the scent of the baby shampoo she still used. Rafe sat beside them and looked on, his heart overflowing with love.
"Mommy?" Becky spoke softly.
"Yes, sweetie?" Alison replied.
"Did you find the baby?" She whispered.
Rafe had forgotten that part. Hearing her say the words brought it back.
"What honey?" Alison was confused.
"They said you could've lost it. Did you find it?" Becky asked. "Did someone kidnap my baby brother or sister?"
Alison was shocked. Rafe leaned over and grabbed Becky's hand in his. "Honey - no. No one kidnapped the baby. It's just..." He tried to explain but couldn't go on.
Alison took a deep breath and tried to make Becky see. "Sweetheart. When I fell they thought that the baby might be hurt too. You know how we told you it's really, really little right now? It's not big enough or strong enough to live outside my tummy yet. That's what they meant by the baby being lost."
"It wouldn't be born? Ever?" Becky asked then.
"That's right. Sweetie. Do you hear that?" Alison paused and looked into Becky's eyes. "That machine over there that makes a noise? That's keeping track of the baby's heart beating."
She pressed a kiss to her daughters head. "Right now? Everything seems OK. I just need to rest and take it easy and then we'll see. When I get home you can help me, OK? You can make sure I do what the doctor tells me to do." Alison made a face. "You know how I sometimes don't like to do what your Daddy says and he's going to be worse than the doctor."
"OK." Becky's face began to light up again. She felt so much better than before. "I can help you lots and lots."
"I know you can. You're such a good girl. That's why Daddy and I wanted to have another baby - because if this new baby is as good as you we'll be so, so lucky."
"I'm that good, huh?" Becky asked with a grin.
"Yeah. You are. You're that good." Rafe said, smiling himself as he kissed her forehead.
"You know what's not good?" Becky asked her mother with a frown.
"No. What baby?" Alison looked at her with concern.
Her little girl's face brightened and she began to giggle. "Daddy's cooking. If you're going to have to rest I bet we'll be eating alot of pizza."