Long time, no update, I know. I've had a mixture of family responsibilities, and software problems which have taken up a lot of time lately. I hope I'm back to updating more regularly now.
I'd just like to thank everyone who's been reviewing this fic. Your encouragement means a lot, and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.
Chapter 7 - Moving In and a Spot of Hacking
Willow got here earlier, and helped me move into my apartment. Well, when I say helped me move in, we carried the things I had at Wes and Gina's from the car. Now, I'm just waiting for some furniture to be delivered, and I can make it feel more like home.
Willow's in the kitchen. She's setting up some spells she'll need for tonight. She's not wasting any time, and I'm just so grateful. This uncertainty about the timing of things is so hard to take, and the first of the supposed deadlines is uncomfortably close.
Unfortunately, the computer system which holds the most confidential of W&H information isn't connected to anything outside of the building, so she's going to have to go in there. Wes has managed to get her clearance under an assumed name as a potential assistant for him, with the cover story that she can't get there before this evening. It's going to be hard enough without having anyone looking over their shoulders, and Wes is determined that he doesn't want anyone getting hurt if he can help it.
The bad news is that I'm staying here. I want to go with them, but I've been persuaded that it'll only add to the danger. My face is known to enough people there that it's just an added risk. Gina's offered to come over and help me while they're gone, but the truth is she wants the company as much as I do.
The first of the deliveries arrives, and I'm pulled from my thoughts by the need to direct that. Fortunately, it's the beds - two of them to start with, so Willow and I should be comfortable tonight. I set myself to doing the small amount of assembly that's necessary, then make up the beds. By the time I've finished, Wes and Gina arrive. We all go into the kitchen, where Willow's clearing up.
"You ready?" Wes asks.
"Just about," Willow answers. "I've covered as many possibilities as I can think of, but until I know what we might need, it's hard. Still, I've got several things ready, some to clear our eyes, some to help us avoid any magickal traps there might be, and a couple of things for defensive purposes."
"Good."
"So," he continues, turning towards me. "We're going in when most people have gone home for the night. That doesn't mean the building will be deserted by any means. There's any number of people, especially in the higher echelons, who work very late, or even prefer to work overnight. Angel in particular would more than likely be in the building, and he's the one person we can't afford to meet. He'd recognise Willow and that'd give away the whole thing."
"So, what happens if you meet Angel?" I ask.
"Well, that's the biggest problem, and I've set up something to, hopefully, get him out of the building. I've got a contact in Orange County who's been watching a nest of Haggar demons for a couple of weeks. They've been in a dormant period so far, but he reckons they're about to become active. He's going to give Angel a tip off. I'm hoping he'll feel it's a big enough deal to get involved personally. Certainly, a nest of Haggar demons can do a whole lot of killing when they come out of hibernation."
"Won't he want you to be there too?" I ask.
"There was a time he would have, but not now. Now that there's Gina, he's said more than once that I should get out of the front line a bit. And it's not as if he hasn't got others to call on if he needs backup."
Wes pauses then, almost as if he's puzzling over something, but then continues. "If he asks, it'll be easy enough to claim that Gina's not feeling too well, and that I might get called home at short notice."
"Sounds like we've done what we can before we get into the building," Willow says, thoughtfully. "What happens once we're inside?"
"Well, I suggest we use my office initially. If we can't get anywhere from there, we might have to try Angel's office, but I'm hoping it won't come to that."
The two of them go into some details of computer systems that are quite simply over my head, so I'm relieved when another delivery arrives.
By the time I've got that dealt with, they're ready to leave.
Gina and I set to work unpacking and arranging things, and I'm amazed at how quickly the place starts to look like home. When we've done as much as we can, we go into the kitchen and make some coffee. As we sit and drink it, both of us are thinking about Wes and Willow. It's going to be a long evening.
Gina gets up after a while, and starts pulling out some groceries she brought with her. There's chicken, and potatoes, carrots and beans, as well as a number of small packages.
"What're you doing?" I ask.
"Thought I'd put a casserole together. That way it should be good whenever they get back, and it'll help me to keep from worrying too much. Want to help?"
"You sure you want me helping?" I ask. "You know how good I am at cooking."
"You can chop vegetables, peel potatoes, that sort of thing."
I agree, and we set to work in companionable silence. When the dish is in the oven, we go into the living room and switch on the TV. It's mindless, and I'm relieved to note that Gina falls asleep quite quickly.
There's a commercial on, one I haven't seen before, and the actor has bleached blonde hair. It's all I need to switch my mind onto thoughts of Spike.
I've no memories of dreaming of Spike over the past week, although a couple of mornings I've wakened with a strange feeling of mixed well being and loss. I wish I could talk to him, wish he could help us to find what we need to bring him back. I'm terrified by the prospect of losing him forever. I smile at those words as they come into my mind. They're such a contrast to how I once felt about him, when I'd have done almost anything for him to leave, but he never did.
I can feel my eyes closing, and I know I'm going to drift off to sleep. The last thing I feel is guilt that my friends are in danger, and I'm falling asleep. It doesn't seem right. I'm the Slayer. I'm the one who's supposed to risk her life for others.
And then I hear his voice. "It's ok, Pet. They need to do this. You'll get your chance to do your bit."
I open my eyes, but there's no one there. They start to close again, and I let them, desperate to see him, but he's not there.
"Tell me what I need to do," I beg him.
"You'll know when it's time, Pet. I can't tell you what I know, and I don't have all the details anyway. I just know that there's something important in that computer system."
"Let me see you," I ask.
"Sorry, Pet. Got to go," he answers, his voice fading as he speaks.
I come awake to a persistent dinging noise, and I jump up, confused by the unfamiliar sound. It takes me a second or two to realise it's the timer on the oven that we set for a couple of hours.
I go into the kitchen, and find Gina already there, switching off the timer, and opening the oven.
"How's it doing?" I ask.
"It's ok, but it'll take a while more."
"No sign of them?"
"No, not yet. Wes said they'd be at least a couple of hours. It depends how difficult Willow finds the system."
I nod. I remember from the past. Sometimes she found it so easy to hack into a system, and sometimes, it took days. And this time, we don't have days.
Gina and I return to the living room, and I'm relieved to see there's a movie on. We settle down to watch it, but I swear that if it wasn't already familiar, I'd never be able to follow the plot. I'm tense, waiting for them to come back, starting at every unfamiliar noise, which, of course, in a new apartment means just about everything.
The ending credits of the film are rolling when I hear the door opening. I jump up, and we both run to meet them. They're looking happy, so I assume it went well. Gina throws her arms around Wes, and I follow Willow, but to my surprise, Willow goes into the bedroom where she left her things earlier. She picks up her laptop, takes it into the living room, and boots it up. She pulls a CD from her pocket, and puts it into the drive. Wes and Gina join us a moment later.
Willow's excited, her face and voice animated in the way it always is when she's achieved something. "The system in Wes' office was a dead loss. It turns out, there's a system which Angel has access to, but there doesn't seem to be access from anywhere else, that we know of at least. And it's well protected, as is Angel's office. I assume the system in his office is something he activates when he leaves, or maybe it activates on its own, but I'm glad I took some pre-prepared mojo with me. I was able to get us both in, and hopefully leave it looking as if it hadn't been tampered with. Then, there was the computer system. It was protected too, and by both conventional and magickal means. The first level of security was Angel's standard log in. It was password protected, but that was easy. His password's 'Buffy' by the way. That only gave us access to things we had seen on Wes' log in. Then we found a link to another system, and when I tried to use that, it activated some sort of spell. It was like something was just sucking the life out of us. It could've been pretty hairy if I hadn't erected a barrier fast. The cool thing is, it wouldn't cause Angel any harm, because, hey, already dead. That makes me think it might even be triggered every time someone tries to access that link, because we hadn't done anything up till then that could have alerted the system to the fact that we weren't entitled to have access."
Gina's looking pale now, and I'm feeling guilty. For Will and me to be facing danger like that, well, it's what we've been doing for so long, it just seems natural. And, even knowing that it's been part of Wes' life for a long time, it's still hard for me to imagine just how Gina must be feeling right now. Wes' arm tightens around Gina, but Willow doesn't seem to have noticed.
"Then, there was the second log in," she continues. "Now, that was tough. Multiple passwords, and some sort of convoluted set up that I just can't see Angel having the patience for. It took a long time to get into the system, and we didn't have time to read what we found, so I just copied all the files that seemed to be relevant."
We all crowd round the screen, trying to get a good view, but it's hard when you're looking at it from an angle. Willow scans through the files, opening a few, and reading her way through them.
"It's going to take a while," she apologises. "These files are huge, and some of them aren't in English. I'll copy off the disc, and let Wes have a copy to take home. That way, we can both work on it."
As Willow copies the disc, Gina suggests we eat. We all adjourn to the kitchen to pick up plates which we carry into the living room. I've got chairs there, but no table yet, so we balance our plates on our laps.
"So, Angel took the bait, then?" I ask.
"Yeah," replies Wes, "We cut it fine, though. As we pulled out of the car park, Angel's car pulled up. Willow was hiding under a blanket so he wouldn't see her."
"So, what are you going to do?" Gina demands, and I know it's got nothing to do with the quest for information about Spike.
Wes looks confused for a second, then he realises what she's talking about.
"You mean am I going to go on working for W&H?"
"Well, you always said that you'd work there while it seemed to be in your interests to do so. When you find internal systems that could kill you, I'd have thought that could be considered as no longer in your interests."
I'm surprised, because I hadn't considered the possibility that he'd want to leave W&H, but then again, I'm not surprised either. Gina's coped with the dangers inherent in Wes' job, but those so far have been external. The city is full of demons, and it's his job to help keep them under control. If the danger comes from within the company, that's another matter.
"Well, I wasn't planning on leaving immediately," he says, quietly. He's obviously not comfortable talking about it in front of Willow and me, so I suggest that we take the dirty dishes into the kitchen.
Once there, we try not to listen, but there's no door between the two rooms, so we have to settle for being noisy while loading the dishwasher and making some coffee.
So now, on top of everything else, I'm feeling guilty. Well, I already was when I saw Gina's reaction earlier. I've dragged Wes and Gina into this whole thing, and as a result, Wes is in danger. I've always felt guilty about doing that to my friends - Willow and Xander - but at least they could make their own decisions. Gina's baby hasn't had any say in this, and the idea that his or her father might be hurt …
I make up my mind to carry on with this alone. Well, if Willow's willing to help, that's fine, but, I want Wes out of it.
When the coffee's ready, we don't have any more reason to stay away, so we go back. It's obvious that the discussion's not over, and I feel another wave of guilt as it seems as if they've argued about it. I've never heard them arguing before. In fact, there's something profoundly wrong about knowing that they've disagreed enough to cause the unhappiness I see etched on their faces.
"Ok, Wes," I start. I might as well get it sorted out as soon as I can. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me so far, but that's it. If there's any danger in all this, then it's up to me to do whatever needs to be done. You can't take any more risks."
"Buffy," he replies, coldly, "Whether or not I take risks is my decision. Agreeing to work for W&H in the first place was a calculated risk. So far, it's been a risk worth taking, as the good I've been able to do has far outweighed any danger. This is the first time I've felt in any way threatened by W&H itself, and I've got to decide whether the risk has become unacceptable. I will make that decision, and I will take into account Gina's wishes, and the needs of our child. In the meantime, I will be going into the office as usual in the morning, and I will spend some time gauging the potential danger of continuing to work there. I will also take the disc Willow copied for me, and I'll work on understanding what was in those files. This isn't just about Spike now. The company I work for is doing something that I don't understand, but which I believe I would find it very hard to support. Angel may be involved, but if he isn't, he may be in some danger too. And that's without taking account of the overall aim of whatever it is that's going on. It may not be an actual apocalypse, but I'm pretty sure it's not a picnic that's being planned."
He's right, I know that, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty. Gina doesn't even sip her coffee, and Wes drinks his quickly, and without tasting it, before he gets up and asks Gina if she's ready to go home.
When we're alone, Willow expresses her surprise.
"Gina's not happy, is she?"
"No, and she's right not to be happy. She didn't sign on for this. She hasn't ever volunteered to be one of the Scoobies. I know you and Xander didn't exactly have full disclosure before you got involved either, but you could've walked away. She can't, because it's Wes who's taking the risks. She lost so much before, and I don't think she'd survive if she lost Wes now. I don't know how she pulled herself together enough to love again after …" I pause. I remember the Gina I first met, someone who'd hidden so deeply inside herself that I didn't think she'd ever completely recover.
"But she did it, she survived, and she fell in love with Wes, and that's because she's one of the strongest people I've ever met."
"You did it too," Willow says quietly. "And so did I. You sent Angel to Hell, but you still tried to love after that. I thought my life was over when Tara was killed, and in some ways it was, but I started over again. Gina's strong, I get that. But it's got to be Wes' decision. If she doesn't let him decide for himself, it's going to ruin the relationship."
When did Willow get to be so wise? Somewhere during all that we faced in Sunnydale, and then afterwards, she's learned things you don't learn from books or online. It's something I know too, on a professional level, but it seems kind of odd mixing it with slayage. I'm used to being the one who makes the decisions, and feeling responsible for everyone else.
Willow promises me a copy of the disc so I can take it into the office. I'm hoping that I'll be able to spend time between clients helping with the research. And I just hope they've got what Spike said was important in there somewhere.
We say goodnight and go towards our bedrooms. My first night in my apartment. I should be happy, and I am, but it's not the sort of happiness it should be. Now, if Spike was here with me, and there wasn't a cloud hanging over him … That's what dreams are made of.