Chapter 11 – A Meeting and Various Explanations
I should have known that when he said eight o'clock, he meant eight o'clock. I check my watch for the millionth time this evening, and it's a minute to. And then I hear the sound of a knock on the door. I jump up and go to answer it. Willow looks at me, knowing I'm on edge, but not really understanding despite my attempts to explain it.
I bring him into the living room, and he sits down, a folder with his notes on his lap.
"Ok, what is it?" I demand. "You've had me worried half the day, and now you're not talking." I know I've barely let him sit down, but I can't stop myself.
"Buffy," he says, shaking his head.
"What. Is. It?" Why won't he just tell me?
"It's the dates, I've worked out which one is the deadline."
"And?"
"It's the first one. We've got a little over forty-eight hours and that's all. We've got no idea of where the controller is, and we're all but out of time. I've spent hours today, rechecking my figures, making sure that everything's as accurate as I can get it, but I can't change the result."
He looks so … bereft. For just a moment, I want to comfort him. It looks like we're out of options, but at least I've got the meeting tonight set up.
"Buffy?" Wes' voice breaks into my thoughts. And then I realise he doesn't know we still have that chance. And I can't not tell him, not now. Apart from anything else, I'm just not Oscar material.
"Lilah's got it," I tell him.
"What?"
"The controller, Lilah's got it."
"What? How?"
"Long story short. I knew when I saw the picture that I'd seen it before. Then I remembered. That dream I had with Lilah in a walk-on part? She was wearing it."
"Ok, that's a start. But I don't know how to contact her."
"That's ok. Angel does. And he's set up a meeting for midnight."
I can't meet his gaze as I say it. There's silence for a moment. I glance at Willow who's on the other side of the room. She's been so quiet during the conversation I'd almost forgotten she was there.
"It seems I've been out of the loop," Wes comments dryly. "When were you planning on telling me this?"
I drop my head. "Well, actually, I wasn't. I didn't want you to have any contact with Lilah in case it upset Gina."
"I see." Two words, but it's sort of the equivalent of Giles cleaning his glasses, and I don't mean that in a good way.
"We'll discuss this later, Buffy. Right now, we don't have time. What have you told Angel?"
I explain that I haven't really told Angel anything, and that Angel came to me with information.
"And you didn't think I needed to know that our visit the other night had been logged in some way?"
"He said no one knew who it was, so I thought you were safe."
He's clenching his fists at that, and I realise I'm seeing the other side of Wes - the side he keeps locked inside most of the time.
"I hope, for all our sakes, that they really don't know. Because, to be honest, I can't imagine Lilah agreeing to meet you unless she had her own agenda."
"But, what choice do we have?" Willow's question reminds me she's there.
"Yes. Look, I'm sorry, Wes. I did what I thought was best, and when Spike's back, you can yell at me all you want."
"Ok, so what are you planning to do?"
"I'm going into the Wolfram and Hart building tonight, and I'm going to meet Lilah."
"Not much of a plan, is it?"
"Well, no, but …"
"Ok. I'll go back there now. At least that way, you'll have some sort of back up."
"No, Wes. I don't want …"
"This isn't about what you want. This is about sorting out a mess for which I feel in some way responsible."
"No, Wes, wait …"
"Buffy, I agreed to the W&H deal the same as Angel did. If there's something going on, it's my responsibility to find out what it is."
He's got what Willow would no doubt call 'resolve face', so I know there's no point in arguing. I just wish I hadn't told him. Of course, then, he'd be feeling guilty, thinking we were going to fail.
"Ok," I agree reluctantly. "You go back in, and I'll be there later."
He doesn't speak again, just picks up his folder and stands to leave. I follow him out, and I put out a hand to touch his shoulder. I'm not used to Wes being so cold. He tolerates the hand, but I know that's what he's doing, so I take it away quickly, feeling the chill as something physical. He nods one last time before turning away.
It's only when he's gone that I remember my conversation with Gina. And, ok, Spike's time being almost up could have caused what had Gina worried, but somehow, I'm not convinced. But the other suggestion? I shake my head.
~~~~~
I approach the reception desk, trying to look more confident than I feel. The receptionist smiles, and then another woman appears, as if by magic, to escort me to Angel's office. I wonder idly why W&H only seems to employ extremely tall women. I mean, I know I'm kinda on the short side, but really, both the receptionist and my escort seem close to six feet tall. And did I mention elegant, in that 'even my labels have labels' sort of way? It occurs to me to ask Angel about the company's pay structure some time.
We ride the elevator in silence, which is probably just as well. Nervous Buffy tends to be big on the verbiage, but small on the sense. And I'm nervous right now.
I'm shown into the office, and my escort departs, closing the door behind her. Angel's at his desk, but he stands as I go in, coming towards me. He holds his arms out to me, as if to hug me, but I offer him one hand, and he shakes it awkwardly. I see the hurt in his eyes, but I can't do anything about that right now.
"Where's Lilah?" I ask.
"She'll be here. It's not quite midnight, after all."
I nod, and Angel gestures towards a chair, but the last thing I feel like doing is sitting down.
He shrugs at my refusal to sit, leaning against his desk to watch me pacing.
"You seem kinda worried, Buffy," he comments, folding his arms.
"What? Yeah. Well, if someone's going to open up the Sunnydale Hellmouth, I'd say that's worth worrying about."
"Given that you lived on it all that time, I'm just surprised that the possibility has you so riled."
I shrug. "I don't want to go back to that life, Angel. I like having a life that's not all about demons and death."
He seems to accept that, and I glance at my watch again. It tells me I've still got two minutes to wait, but when I look up again, she's there. She's looking out of the window, apparently ignoring both of us. Well, if she's not going to say anything, neither will I. For now, anyway. I can only see one of her wrists, and there's no sign of the controller on it.
She turns at last, and smiles. My first thought is how different she is to Gina.
"So, this is the Slayer," she says, looking me over appraisingly. "Funny, I thought you'd be bigger."
"And I thought you'd be younger. So, what information do you have?"
She turns completely round, and lifts her right arm to clasp her left elbow. It's as if she's taunting me with it, as it's now in full view.
"She's got spirit, Angel. I'm beginning to understand what you see in her. Still, I'm sure you could do better."
"What information do you have?" I demand, taking two steps towards her.
"Oh, aggressive too," she smiles again. And I don't like that smile. There's something of the alligator in it.
"But don't get any ideas, because you see, I'm already dead, so you can't slay me. Oh, yes, I forgot. You normally slay things that are already dead. Still, you can't actually hurt me."
"Lilah," Angel interrupts. "You know what she wants, so why don't you just tell her what she wants to know, and we can all go home, or back to work, or back to … wherever you've just come from."
She looks at him then, shaking her head sadly. "Angel, Angel. You have no idea, have you? No inkling of why she wanted to meet me."
"She wants …" he counters, but Lilah interrupts.
"To talk to me about the Sunnydale Hellmouth? No. Of course, no one's trying to open it. What a perfectly absurd idea. If someone wanted to open a Hellmouth, at Sunnydale or anywhere else for that matter, there are much easier ways of doing it."
"But you said …"
"I know what I said."
"Then what?"
"Tell him," she says, addressing me. "Tell him what you're hoping to gain from coming here tonight."
My heart's hammering in my chest. If I really can't hurt her, and she knows what we're trying to do …
"Buffy?" Angel's voice impinges on my thoughts.
He's looking confused, and that hurt look? It's found some friends and come to stay.
"Oh, looks like Fluffy's lost her tongue. Never mind, I'll tell him. You can correct me if I get anything wrong."
"She's come for this," she states, holding up her arm. She walks towards him, giving him a good view of the disc. "Recognise it?"
He studies it for a few seconds. "It looks like the amulet, the one I gave to Buffy."
"Good. You recognised it. That means I don't have to go into complicated explanations. Now, do you know what it can do?"
His eyes narrow, and he glances from her to me and back again.
"No?" she answers for him. "Well, it can bring back the wearer of the amulet. We always planned to use it. Of course, that was Plan A. Unfortunately, Plan A ceased to be an option when Buffy decided you weren't her champion. The Senior Partners were very disappointed. But then, they didn't become the Senior Partners by not being flexible. We moved to Plan B, but that failed when Buffy decided she didn't love her brooding vampire after all. And now, we've got Plan C."
She turns away from Angel and looks at me appraisingly.
"You know, it's just occurred to me. You didn't last that long as the Slayer by being better than your predecessors, did you? It was just plain blind luck. I mean, you thwarted two perfectly good plans without even knowing about them."
I wish I could come up with something to say to that, but my mind's working on how to try and gain some advantage here. So far, she seems to know everything I know, and then some.
The ensuing silence is broken by the door of the office opening. Wes walks in, silently taking in the three of us.
"Lilah," he says, quietly.
Her smile goes up a notch. "Wes, it's good to see you again. It's been a while."
"Yes it has," he agrees.
"When I said it was good to see you, I meant that on a personal, here and now basis. Actually, I sort of wish you hadn't come in when you did, because that tends to suggest that we've found our mole. Of course, we would have done so eventually, but … Well, it can't be changed, so let's get back to business."
She turns back towards Angel. "Angel, do you remember a while ago? I asked you why Buffy chose Spike as her champion. Do you remember what you said?"
He's not looking happy at the question, but he manages an answer.
"No, I can't say I do."
"Angel, Angel. You know, you've got to be careful of that soul of yours. Isn't lying sort of against the rules? Still, I know, sometimes the truth can be difficult. Personally, I'm only really partial to it when it can be used as a weapon. Now, if I can remember correctly, you told me that Buffy's reason was the need for you to come back here, just in case she failed. Something about a second front. Isn't that true?"
"Yes," he admits, but he seems reluctant to do so. I'm surprised because that's the reason I gave him.
"There was more, though …" Lilah continues, and Angel's looking very uncomfortable. "Oh yes, something about him being expendable."
Now, I didn't say anything like that at all, and Angel knows it. At least he's got the grace to look embarrassed. Still, I haven't got time for all that, so I decide it's time to say something.
"Look, Lilah, there's no point in raking over the past. Why don't we just get down to business?"
"Eager, aren't you?" she smiles, and I'm liking that smile less every time I see it. Could she show any more teeth?
"But no, I think we need some more explanations. You know, make sure we all know exactly what's been going on. You see, I believed Angel. You were supposed to be soul mates, you two. The idea that you would've fallen for another one of the undead just seemed a tad ridiculous. So, I believed him. It meant a delay in the plan, but hey, I've got forever. So, when he told me that you were feeling guilty about Spike's sudden attack of dustiness, I thought that was all it was. I suggested that he persuade you to move to LA, and I arranged a little memory spell. It all seemed to be working well, too. I got Wes here to discover a way to anchor Angel's soul, at least for as long as it suited my purpose, and you got together. Everything was going well, and you had to go and spoil it."
"Lilah," Wes says, moving towards her. "Will you please get to the point."
"Ok," she agrees with a shrug. "So, you decided Angel wasn't really the love of your life. And then, something happened to the memory spell. It wasn't broken, more fraying at the edges. Oddly, it never was as complete as we'd expected, but it seemed to be working, so we left it alone. But the holes in it were getting bigger, and it was obvious that you were fighting it. Only strong feelings would have enabled you to do that, and then having someone searching for information on the amulet - well, let's just say I've never been a believer in coincidence. We got someone to take a peek into your dreams, and who did we find in a starring role? And can I say, when it comes to dreaming, you've got style. Well, unless you count the nightmares, of course. The others were very interesting."
She pauses to let me feel the full import of her being privy to dreams I don't even remember. It leaves me feeling … dirty, violated in some way, but I fight the feeling. She's trying to keep me off balance, and I can't let her do that.
She seems to realise that I'm not going to take the bait, so she continues, shrugging as she speaks.
"But we'd hidden things too well. You were never going to find the controller without any help, so I gave you a nudge, making an appearance in one of the dreams. And here we are. You want to bring Spike back, and you're running out of time. And you need this. Which is actually very good news for me."
As she says that last part, she moves the controller from her wrist to her other hand.
"You want to bring Spike back?" Angel asks, looking totally bewildered.
"Yes, Angel. That's why she wanted this meeting. She wants this."
"Buffy?" he asks.
"She's right. If we don't get him back soon, he's going to go to Hell forever. I can't let that happen."
"But … but it's what's going to happen in the end, so …"
"You knew, didn't you. You knew about the memory spell, that something had tampered with my mind."
He doesn't speak, but I know he did. Then a thought hits me.
"Did you know he could be brought back? What would happen if he wasn't?"
"Spike? No, no I didn't. Can't say I gave it any thought."
Lilah looks as if she's enjoying the show, and her attention seems to be centred on Angel. With an effort, I push my thoughts about what Angel just said to the back of my mind, and I take the opportunity to make a dive towards the controller. I bounce back from an invisible barrier about a foot from her, landing in a very undignified heap on the floor.
"I told you you couldn't hurt me," she reminds me. "But I'd have been disappointed if you hadn't tried. Now, back to business. You want this, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, I'm not going to give it to you. I might be persuaded to use it, though. If I get the right sort of promise from you."
She smiles again. What is it with this woman and the smiling? She seems to consider what to say.
"Now, what could I ask for? Hmmm. Let me see. I've got it, the very thing. I want you to work for me. Not for always, this is a one job agreement. I don't even think it'll affect your conscience too much. You see, the Senior Partners are having some trouble with a particular sect of demons. They're trying to upset the balance of power around here, and that's bad news for everyone. That's where you come in. You see, they have this whole mythology around a future where they run the world. The good news from my point of view, is that they believe they'll achieve that because a Slayer allies herself with them against their enemies. So, what I want, is for you to be that Slayer, and to destroy them from within. Simple enough job, I'd have thought, for a Slayer of your experience."
"And if I refuse?"
"Then, I destroy the controller, and with it, I ensure Spike's eternal torment."
"And these demons? What should I know about them?"
"Well, they're flesh eaters, human flesh eaters, that is. Oh, and they prefer it living. Like I said, I can't see that destroying them should cause your conscience any discomfort at all."
"What species of demon?" Wes asks.
"Carnolan. Not big players right now, but some of our seers think they might be causing some problems in a few years."
Wes nods. I assume the name means something to him.
"I need to think about it," I offer.
"Fine," she says, sweetly. "You've got ten minutes. If I don't have an agreement by then, my heel's going to put a hole through this pretty trinket."
And she's gone.
"Buffy," Angel is the first to speak. "You're not going to do it, are you? What she's got in mind - that's what will upset the balance of power."
"But Spike …"
"Is going to Hell anyway. All you're going to do is delay the inevitable. I know Spike. He's not going to redeem himself."
"I think you're wrong. He already has. Saving the world's got to count for something."
Our argument is interrupted when Wes speaks. "Another thing to consider. If she brings him back, I fully expect she'll invoke the control clause. He will be controlled by her."
"Ok, maybe he will be," I counter. "But we'll have bought ourselves time. We might be able to undo that later."
"There are certainly possibilities," he agrees.
"These demons - Cran …"
"Carnolan," he corrects me.
"Ok, whatever. They eat living human flesh?"
"They do."
"So, why've I never heard of them?"
"Well, first, they don't leave any evidence. They eat everything. And then again, they're not actually that numerous. They've always preferred areas of low population, but I've heard rumours that they're moving into LA."
"Buffy," Angel says again. "You're not really considering this?"
"Tell me, Angel. What was Plan B? If I hadn't left you, how was she going to persuade me to do this?"
"It's about Connor, isn't it?" Wes' voice is quiet, but he sounds confident.
Now, I have no idea who or what Connor is, but by the look on Angel's face, it's important.
"How do you know about him?" Angel demands.
"The spells which were set up to stop us finding out about Spike and the amulet - well, we found a way to counteract them. Remembering bits about Connor was what you might call a side-effect. I'm pretty sure there's still a lot I don't remember, but I do remember you had a son. Or, more correctly, you and Darla had a son. What I don't know is what happened to him."
Angel's eyes flash dangerously, and for an instant, I see Angelus. "He was taken from me when he was a baby. By you. He was transferred to another dimension, one where time works differently. He left as a baby, but came back a young man. A young man who'd been taught to hate me. He was … mixed up, angry, confused. He would've killed himself, and others, but Lilah offered me the chance to stop that. It was the reason I agreed to take on Wolfram and Hart. He has a home, a family, a normal life. And I'm the only person who should have remembered him." His voice is filled with bitterness, and it's directed at Wes.
This is just too much information to process. So, I'm not going to try.
"But how does that persuade me to work for Lilah?"
"That was up to me. She promised that when you'd done something for her, I'd get my humanity, and we'd create a child together, except it would be Connor. I'd get a second chance with him."
"You wanted me to have you and Darla's child?" I demand. I'm sorry, but the idea is just repulsive.
"He would've been our child, made by us."
"But Darla was Connor's mother. So, what would I have been? A handy incubator? Or were you even planning on telling me?"
"I don't know. I wanted to wait until we'd been together for a bit longer, then I was going to tell you that I had the chance of humanity, but with strength equal to yours. I'd just made up my mind to tell you that much, when you moved out."
I feel as though I'm going to need to think for a week and I'm still not going to get over all this. I'm just letting some of it sink in, when Lilah reappears.
"So, have you decided?" she asks, twirling the controller around.
"What's to stop me agreeing, and then, once Spike's safe, changing my mind?"
"Good question," she says, grinning again. She's really enjoying herself, and I'm getting close to hating her.
"I'm sure Wes has told you about the side-effect of bringing Spike back. I'll control him. Of course, I don't have to exercise that control, I can let him do exactly as he wishes. On the other hand, I can turn him into something that'd put Angelus to shame for sheer viciousness. And then again, there's the fact that the deal will be mystically sealed. You'll be bound to complete the task, and only then will you be free. Even your death won't free you from your obligation. When your part of the bargain is complete, I will rescind control of Spike to you. It'll be up to you then whether you want to give him his free will, or keep him under your control."
"How can I be sure you'll keep your part of the bargain?"
"Oh, that's simple. It's all part of the seal. I'll be bound to it just the same as you are. I'll even set it up so that as our bargain is sealed, Spike will be returned to this world."
I look towards Wes. He looks worried, but I've already made my decision. Before I can speak, he interrupts.
"Lilah," he says, "I'd like a concession."
"Wes, now, let me guess what. You want to be privy to the details of the obligation, don't you?"
"Yes, I would. Otherwise, it all just seems a little one-sided, doesn't it?"
"You're right, of course. And, I have no problem with you doing that, ok?"
"Buffy?" Angel again.
"I don't want to talk to you right now," I tell him.
"So, Buffy, what's your answer? Are you willing to do this little thing for me? Or do I …" As she says that part, she's placed the controller on the floor, and her foot is hovering over it. "Because, your time's up."
"I agree," I say quickly. Of course, the decision was made before she left, but …
"Good. Then, let's sort out the contract."
Then, the proceedings lose me. Wes suddenly stiffens, and seems to go into a trance. I gasp, and go to help him, but Angel holds me back. "He's checking out the contract, experiencing every part of it," he says.
I pull away, because I really don't want him touching me right now, but I don't go any closer to Wes.
It's probably only a few seconds, but it seems longer, when Wes comes back to himself. Lilah's looking at him, and smiling. "This reminds me of some of the good times we had," she says, watching as his face loses its rigidity. "So, is the contract as I described it?"
"It is. When the bargain is sealed, Spike will be returned, and Buffy will be bound to complete her task. When the task is complete, you will hand over control of Spike to Buffy. Buffy, are you sure about this?" he asks me. It's not said in a way that implies he's trying to talk me out of it, just that he wants me to be sure that I understand.
"I'm sure," I answer, surprised at how small my voice sounds.
"Good," Lilah says too heartily. "So, the contract needs to be sealed with blood. And, here, I have a knife. We'll go for a standard blood pact. I'll slice my hand, and you'll slice yours, and when the blood mingles, we'll both be bound by the contract."
I look to Wes for reassurance, and he nods, a slight movement that seems almost invisible.
"Ok, let's do it."
She hands me the knife, and I make a slice in the palm of my left hand, then I hand her the knife and she does the same. She then holds out her left hand, waiting for me to do the same.
I grasp her hand, taking a not insignificant pleasure from the fact that she's affected by Slayer strength. I don't actually hear any bones breaking, but I see her wince, and that's enough. Then, I feel heat emanating from the palm of my hand, going through me, travelling along my arm, and straight to my heart.
And then she's gone. I look around, and Angel and Wes have gone. Or maybe I'm somewhere different. I'm not sure what's going on, and then I spot him. Huddled in a corner, looking almost as I remember him from the school basement after he got his soul. It's Spike. He's back. And suddenly, I don't care where I am. I run across the room to where he's cowering, and get to my knees in front of him. I lift his head so he can see me, and when he does, his smile lights up the room.