Chapter 16 - The Good Life

He's so matter of fact, that it sounds unreal. "Well," I start, almost afraid to admit the truth. "I haven't really read what Lilah sent. We'll have to wait until Wes gives it back."

"Oh, so you haven't changed that much."

He's looking at me with a half-smile, and I laugh at it.

"So, what's been happening?" he asks.

I look at him blankly.

"Well, I know a bit about what happened, that you made it out of Sunnydale, and the witch, and Dawn …"

He pauses then, looking sheepish. It takes me a moment to realise why.

"How do you know Dawn made it?" I ask.

"Looked through the numbers on your phone. Had to make sure she was ok."

Going through my things, now why does that sound so familiar?

"You could have asked," I point out.

"Yeah, but, I didn't want to talk to you. I was, … scared. Still am, but it looks like we're going to be working together, so …"

I tell him how Dawn's been doing, and he beams with an almost fatherly pride. I make a mental note to tell Dawn he's back. I don't know how she'll react, but I do know she'll kill me if she hears it from someone else. I go on from there to telling him what I know about the others. When I get to Xander, he grunts.

"Best place for the boy," he murmurs. "Out of it. Was never really cut out for it, and with one eye, he'd be easy prey. How about his bird?"

It's funny, I haven't thought a lot about Anya for a while. I suppose it was the spell that meant she didn't figure at all, but now that I'm reminded, I feel the familiar pang of regret. It's regret that I didn't do enough for her while she was around, that I resented her rather unusual outlook on life.

"Anya didn't make it." It's a stark statement, but I find it hard to say more.

"I'm sorry about that. Always liked her, even when she was trying to point out how different she was compared with 'us demons'. At least she always said what was on her mind."

"Yeah," I say quietly. Memories of Anya while talking to Spike make me think of the two of them together, and I recall vividly how betrayed I felt when I saw the evidence of the two of them in the Magic Box. I shake my head, forcing myself to remember that I'd told him to move on, that there was nothing between us. But it hurt, and I hated that it hurt, so it gave me one more thing to hold against him.

I look at him, and he's studying me closely. "Still hurts," he comments.

I wonder how he knows what I was thinking about.

"You felt responsible for her."

Oh, that's what he meant. And, of course, he's right. It was sad that she died, but it was worse because I did feel responsible, for her, and all the potentials who suddenly weren't potentials any more but didn't get the chance to go home.

"And you're still doing it."

I must look at him blankly, because he goes on.

"Feeling like you're responsible for the whole world."

"It's funny, I haven't felt like that for a while. Now, I'm back in the fight, and it's hard to stop the old feelings. I was the Slayer, the one and only, and I was responsible. Now, I'm just one of - I don't know how many. But, it's still my job to protect the rest of you - the people who aren't Slayers."

"And you didn't want to tell me what was going on."

"No, I didn't. I … It's just, it's like …" How do I explain this without making him feel like Riley after the 'kitteny' comment?"

"I know how you feel, you know. I understand it. Don't like it, and I'm not going along with it, but I do understand. You don't want to be responsible for me, so don't be. I'm going into whatever we're getting into with my eyes open. You aren't responsible."

I wish it was that easy. I try to smile, but I'm not sure that it comes across the way I intended.

"So, want to call the Watcher and find out what we're going to do?"

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea," I answer.

~~~~~

A couple of hours, and a walk in the sunshine later, we're at Wes and Gina's. And can I say, walking with Spike, outside, in daylight? Big buzz. He had this smile on his face, well, until he saw me looking, then he reverted to 'Big Bad' face, with that impatient scowl he uses when he's trying to hide his feelings.

Wes is quite excited about what he's been reading, but goes straight into detailing his conversation with Giles while Gina gets coffee.

"I was right," he tells us. "The information on Carnolan demons only comes from a single source, but it's one that in other respects, is completely reliable."

"Stands to reason," Spike comments. "If you want to make sure it's believed, you'd hardly put it in the National Enquirer."

"True, but I still think we should acquaint ourselves with all the information available, whether it turns out to be accurate or not."

"Didn't say any different, did I, Watcher?"

Wes bristles at the title, and Spike seems to notice, because he adds, "Wes."

"So," I decide to intervene. "What did Giles have to say?"

"Well, he checked out the text, and it agrees pretty closely with what we were given. Maybe too closely."

"No, not about that. What did he say about Spike being back?"

"He didn't actually express an opinion. I suspect you'll be hearing from him soon. He was disappointed, though, that you've become involved with all this."

I suspect that the disappointment is also to do with Spike being back. Even now, after all this time, even though Spike was the reason we got out of Sunnydale alive, he doesn't want me involved with him.

Spike puts a hand on my shoulder, the gesture comforting, and I know he can sense my feelings of frustration. Regardless of our history and the fact that he was part of a plan to destroy Spike, I still instinctively want Giles' approval. Of course, it doesn't actually matter any more. Once, I hid my involvement with Spike from my friends because I knew they wouldn't approve. Now, if only I knew for sure what our relationship was, I'd shout it from the rooftops, and the fact that he's human now actually doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to that.

I make an effort to stop dwelling in the past or in the future or wherever I am, and get back to the reason we're here.

"So, where do we find these demons?"

"Well, the information from both sources agrees that they prefer sparsely populated areas. However, the Wolfram and Hart dossier implies that they've taken over the running of one of the more prestigious hotel complexes in Las Vegas."

"They like somewhere quiet, so they set up in Las Vegas?" I ask.

"Apparently they've been, I suppose you'd say, silent partners in a number of businesses for some time. The fact that they're becoming more open is one of the key concerns of the Senior Partners. Well, that and the fact that they've recently become aware of just how much money they have at their disposal."

"So, how do these demons cope with running hotels? What do they look like?"

"Well," Wes answers, "the details I've got are pretty vague. The best quote is that they look 'humanoid'."

"So, do they look human or humanoid? Is there some way of telling by looking at them?" I demand.

"Not as far as I know," Wes admits. "The information in the dossier pretty much implies that they'll look human."

"So, how do I contact them?" I ask.

"The suggestion here," Wes answers, pointing at the paper in front of him, "is that you book an extended stay at this hotel. It's called the Dolce Vita. It's Italian themed, and, apparently rather luxurious. I looked up the details online."

He hands me some pages, complete with photos of a hotel whose lobby could probably encompass some medium-sized towns. The photos of the suites look similarly grand.

"Eh," I manage, looking at the rates. "I'm not exactly destitute, but I can't afford an extended stay at this place."

"Then it's just as well Wolfram and Hart is paying. And, they'll also give you an expense account with enough money that you don't draw attention to yourself."

Gina's looking over my shoulder at the pictures, and I've got to say, she's looking rather wistful. Spike's expression is different. He looks excited.

"What?" I ask.

He grins.

"Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?"

"Well, an extended stay in a place like that? Sounds like fun. And all those casinos. I could probably make myself a pretty sum once I get started. Oh, and a bit of violence thrown in. Sounds like the ideal holiday."

"It isn't going to be a holiday, er vacation," I remind him.

"Speak for yourself. You're not the one who's been doing nothing for the past few years."

"And anyway, who says you're going?" I demand.

"Not going to start all that again, are you? Besides, it makes sense. Single woman, on her own in a place like that, you're going to stand out. A couple, on the other hand …"

He's right. And, the prospect of sharing the trip with him is looking positively attractive right now.

"Oh, that's good," he interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"Look at that. They've got private gyms. You can hire them, and use them without anyone else being around. Sounds like the perfect place for you to work out too. All this office work's probably made you soft."

Soft! Me? "Not too soft to save you the other night," I remind him.

"Aw, that? I'd have finished them. I was just a bit slower than usual because of the drinks I'd had."

"If I hadn't arrived when I did …"

"Ok, you two," Gina holds a hand up. "Some couple you're going to make if you argue like that."

I smile at her, but the truth is, I've been enjoying the argument. It feels like old times, and by the look on Spike's face, he feels it too.

"Buffy," Wes breaks into my thoughts. "I'd suggest you let me look into things for another couple of days before you go to Las Vegas. I'll organise the booking, and the Wolfram and Hart funds for you while I've still got access to those things. I'd be happier doing it myself than leaving it to Lilah, just in case."

"Fine," I answer. "Sounds like I'm going to have to do some shopping anyway. I mean, if I'm going to look like I belong in a place like that …"

Wes looks at me, as if he's daring me to continue, but Gina pipes up. "I think you should get her an advance, Wes. It's all part of the job after all."

He looks from one of us to the other, and sighs deeply.

"And I suppose you're planning on accompanying her on this shopping trip?"

"Naturally," she answers.

He sighs again, this time with resignation. "Ok, but remember, you're not going to Las Vegas, so you won't need to dress the part."

"As if I'm going to spend serious money while I look like a whale," she huffs at him.

"You don't, and never could look like a whale," he answers, kissing her on the cheek. Gina has other ideas, though, and turns her head to kiss him full on the mouth.

"I think it's time we were going," Spike remarks, with a sideways glance at the other couple.

Wes pulls away, looking embarrassed.

"No, there's no …" he mutters.

"Was there anything else you wanted to tell us right now?" I ask.

"Well, no, but …"

"Then Spike's right. We should go."

I turn to look at Gina who winks at me conspiratorially. "I'll call you when Wes's got the money for our shopping trip."

"Do that," I answer.

Neither of them follows us to the door, so I assume Gina must have grabbed Wes again.

"Nice lady," Spike comments as we get to the street.

"Gina? One of the best," I agree.

"So, you ok with this?"

"What?"

"Playing at being a couple. If it's too difficult, we could try something different."

"I thought you were the one who was all for it."

"I am. It's the safest option, but if you don't want to share a room with me, I'd understand."

"Where did I spend the night before the final battle against the First? Why would you think I'd have a problem?"

"Don't know. Just thought I should give you an option."

"My option would be to have you safe somewhere."

"Not going to happen."

"Then, I'd rather have you where I can keep an eye on you."

"Fine."

There's silence for a few moments, then he adds, "Does that mean I need more clothes too?"