Chapter 24 - Nothing On the Telly
You hear about something feeling like you're coming home. Well, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like anything. Because I'd never really been home before.
You know how memories are often things you see complete with rose-coloured hue? If you believe them, then the past was always brighter, happier, more special than the present could possibly be. My memories of Spike were mixed at best. Towards the end, they were pretty positive, but, other than sleeping fully-clothed in his arms, they were just about friendship, companionship, even love, but in a platonic sense. The earlier memories, the sex, they were all about explosions and fireworks and the most amazing physical sensations. But all of that was tempered by the guilt and the need I felt to hide our relationship. And that's ignoring the way I treated him then.
Being with him again is coming home - all the physical sensation with none of the guilt. There's this absolute knowledge that I belong with this man, and that my life is empty without him. I knew it before, but now I've got the proof. Even Spike was more like I remembered. Less of the thinking things through, more of the just doing. It's as if, once the fuse was lit, there was nothing either of us could have done. Not that I even considered changing anything. Lying in a contented heap afterwards, I know that I'll do anything to keep what I've got.
"You ok, Pet?" he asks, gently stroking my face with a finger. We didn't need words before, both of us knowing exactly what was needed.
"Ok doesn't seem adequate, but yeah, I'm good."
"No regrets?"
Oh, here it comes.
"No. None. You?"
"Not regrets as such. More like I feel I've jumped off a cliff and I'm still waiting to hit the ground."
I can see the remnant of fear on his face, and I want to wipe it away. It still hurts that he could feel so afraid that I would hurt him, but I understand why he feels that way.
"I'm not going to let you down this time, Spike. You believe me, don't you? I love you, and I'll tell anyone who's interested, and probably bore people who're not."
He burrows his head into my neck then, and I feel his breathing hitch. He looks up again a few seconds later.
"And if it doesn't work out, what then?"
"Then we'll deal with it. But I love you, and I think you love me, and …"
"You know I do, Pet. I said it once, everything's still all about you. Hasn't changed."
"Ok, I love you, you love me. We've got as good a chance as anyone of making this work. The rest is up to us."
He nods then, but I can feel his heart beating in his chest, and I know he's more scared of this than he is of almost anything. Probably as scared as I am.
We doze them, and the next thing I'm aware of is that I can hear footsteps outside our room. I remember with relief that I locked it when we came in. Funny that, we went from being locked in here to locking the door for ourselves in just a few hours.
My movement seems to have wakened Spike, or maybe he was already awake, because he's stirring too.
"Time to make a move?" he asks.
"I suppose," I answer, stretching and enjoying the feel of slightly achy muscles. "We've got work to do."
We dress quickly, then go downstairs. Lucy is back again, and busy in the kitchen. I've got to say that I never imagined the head of a government rattling her own pots and pans.
"Oh, there you are," she greets us as we go in. And, you know, it feels kind of like being caught by my mom. It's as if she knows exactly what we've been doing. "Dinner'll be in about half an hour. I'm free after that, if you want some more answers."
"Thanks," I answer. "We do still have questions."
"Fine. Why don't you go and sit down in the living room. There's a TV there. No live broadcast, it can't get through to the enclave, but there're recordings which are pretty up to date, and some films too."
"Is that why my cell phone hasn't got a signal?"
"Yes. The signal just bounces off the enclave."
Spike grunts and leaves the room.
"Not being able to use my cell could be a problem. If we're out of touch for a while, our friends might try looking for us."
"They won't find you."
"They know where we were headed," I remind her.
"There were no records of your being there."
"I can't see Wes just accepting that."
"My boys run that hotel, which is part of a much larger organisation. They're used to dealing with the most powerful demons and humans alike. I'm sure they can handle your friend."
"If he can't get an answer any other way, he'll go to the Senior Partners."
That gives her something to think about.
"I'll see what I can do to let you get a message to him."
I get the impression that's the best I'm going to get, at least for now, so I leave it. I wander off in search of Spike, and find him in front of the TV, remote in hand. He's not looking too impressed.
"Nothing worth watching," he complains.
"Let me see," I suggest, running my eye over the tapes in front of him .
It's all been recorded in the past week or so, but there's certainly nothing that would appeal to Spike.
"What about movies?" I ask.
"Well, if cheesy romances are your thing, then you'll be spoilt for choice. Not a single car chase or a decent explosion among them."
"Well then, maybe we could just sit and snuggle."
He grins at that, and I make myself comfortable in his arms. Even though I know we're in trouble here, that I have no idea how we're going to make things right, I feel a wave of absolute contentment wash over me.
"So, what else do we need to ask?" he says.
I think about it. "Well, I'd like to talk to some other women. You know, get a feeling of how they live. I'd like to know what the overall aims of the Carnolan are. So far, we've got no information at all on that."
"Yeah, I've got some specific questions too. Like, how they've got electricity and gas but no telephone."
"Generator?" I suggest. "I mean, if they want this place to be a secret, they could hardly be connected to the grid."
"Maybe," he agrees. "But, if this place is impervious to cell phone and TV signals, where does the sunlight come from?"
"Not sure I see the link," I admit.
"Well, Pet, light that you see, cell phone and TV signals are all the same really. They're all forms of light, just you can't see most of it."
"Oh," I answer. Somewhere, in the back of my mind I remember learning something like that back in high school.
"And then there's the weather. I'm sure I felt a bit of a breeze out there."
"Do you trust her?" I ask.
"Lucy? I more trust her than not, but I wouldn't like to rely on her if I could help it. I think she's been truthful as far as it goes, but her aims are so far from ours that her priorities would be completely different. You?"
"Yeah, that about sums it up. What do you think about telling her about our problems? I mean, the contract, and Lilah's control of you. Wait, I wonder if Lilah's control will even work here."
He tenses at the reminder of Lilah's power over him. "Might be a good idea to ask her that one. If I go off on a killing spree while I'm here, it might not do much for inter-species relations."
"True," I agree, "but then, if these Carnolans are all strong, then maybe you can do less damage here."
"What about the women? Or the little ones? I can't help but think that if I hurt one of those then I'll lose us any choice to decide which way to go. It'll either be destroy the Carnolan or be destroyed. From that perspective, it'd be a right smart move for Lilah to have me do something nasty."
"Would it?" I ask. "I mean, even if we were able to destroy this enclave, it sounds like there are other enclaves around the world. Destroying the whole species must need something pretty spectacular."
"No, Pet, it wouldn't. Think about it. They need human women to reproduce. Cut off the supply, and you've destroyed the species. It might take a while, but it'd work. Just making known what we know now, that they need human women as mates, and that they eat human flesh would probably do more harm than good."
"Doesn't sound like my style, though. I mean, killing something dead. I get that. You know, stake through the heart, vampire turns to dust. Long term plans? So not really my thing."
He shrugs. "Don't know that's the way to do it either, but it's worth keeping it in mind."
Dinner is delicious, and I'm amazed at how hungry I am once again. Of course, when I comment to Lucy that I don't know where my appetite came from, Spike gives me that smirk which at once reminds me of how much it used to irritate me, and at the same time makes the events of earlier flash into my mind. I know my face takes on a pinkish tone as a result, and I make up my mind to try to get my own back later.
Lucy specifically asked that we didn't talk about business over dinner, so we keep things to inconsequential nonsenses, although the quality of the food renders conversation less important.
Later, we're seated in the living room, cups of coffee in our hands. Spike and I are together, sitting close but not actually touching. Lucy is sitting opposite us, and her hands are folded in her lap.
"I believe you have some questions," she begins.
"Yeah," I reply. "Er, before we start, though, did you think about letting us contact our friends?"
"I did. The best I can offer at the moment is for you to compose a text message on your phone. Make sure that it contains enough information that your friend knows it's genuine, and I'll get someone to transmit it from the outside."
"If you don't have any way to communicate with the outside, how do you function as a community?" I ask. I imagine living without phones, and I find I can't quite do it.
"There are ways," she says, without further information.
I'm about to ask for something else, when she smiles.
"I hear you met Winston," she says.
"Yeah. Why?"
"I think perhaps I'd better explain something to you. Winston is 16. He looks older, by human standards anyway, but that's a peculiarity of Carnolan physiology. Children grow at similar rates to humans, but there are few of the changes you associate with ageing. Most 16 year-olds will be indistinguishable from much older people. Even very old Carnolans, well into their second century, look little different from in their teens."
"That explains …"
"His attitude? Well, at sixteen he's not yet allowed to go out into the human world without his parents. Imagine a sixteen-year-old boy who's never had the chance to talk to girls other than his mother and other married women. He's got the same urges that any sixteen-year-old would have. You're the first apparently unattached woman he's ever had the chance to chat to."
"But I was with Spike. Why would he assume I was unattached?"
"Well, that's one of the arrogances shared by all Carnolans. They have certain … advantages. Our society treats women better than human society. Carnolans know that they need us, that their society is dependent on human women. It's a lifestyle which can be extremely comfortable. And, well, imagine the advantages of a husband who will forever have the strength and vigour of his teens."
"So he thought that because Spike was human I'd just drop him?"
"Pretty much. He's still some time away from being allowed into the human world unchaperoned. In Carnolan terms, Winston is actually rather immature for his age. I believe he's just been told that his formal training in the ways of humans has been postponed for another couple of years, and I would imagine he's extremely unhappy about that. This incident has simply reinforced my belief that it was the correct decision to make, both for his own safety, and the safety of the enclave."
The imagined compliment that Winston's clumsy chat up implied somehow loses its value when it's obvious that it's come from a hormone riddled teenager. Still, I've got exactly what I want, so I can live with that.
I'm still musing about this, when Spike asks about the gas and electricity.
"We use bottled gas and have our own generator," she answers. "The generator's at the other side of the enclave from where we were earlier. And our need for fuel is limited to cooking and light at night. The enclave itself looks after our other needs."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. But how does light get in when TV signals can't?" Spike asks.
Lucy looks perturbed by the question. "I'm not actually certain," she admits. "There's obviously a difference, but I'm not an expert in either the magic or the physics."
Spike seems to accept this, but I can't help but wonder if he's got an idea.
I tell Lucy that I'd like to meet some other women.
"I can arrange that, of course. Naturally, I can't require them to answer your questions, but I can arrange a meeting. There are only another four women in the enclave at the moment, however."
"Why so few?"
"Well, firstly, some left when they knew you were coming. Remember, you were asked to destroy us. Then too, it's just the nature of things. Carnolans live much longer than humans. Yet, once they've chosen a mate, that's it, for life. When their mate dies, as is the normal progression of things, that's the end of that part of their lives. Remember too, that the requirement of eating the flesh of their mothers means that Carnolans don't actually become capable of reproduction until much later in their lives than humans. My own sons might not expect that to happen for another forty or fifty years, by which time they will be in their sixties or seventies. My own husband was ninety-four when we married. It's also true that many Carnolans never learn the rules of human society well enough to actually persuade a woman to come and live among us. They're seen as odd in many respects, and often have huge problems fitting in socially."
"So, what you're saying is that only a small number of Carnolans will actually have a wife at any given time?" I ask.
"Exactly. Women are always in the minority."
"Yet they let you run the government?"
"They insist on it. You see, one of the disadvantages of Carnolan reproduction is that there is very little change from generation to generation. It's not exactly like cloning, since there seem to be minor random changes in genes which occur naturally, but the resulting variation in personality is much less than among humans. When they used to run their own affairs, nothing changed. They lived apart from humans except when they needed to find a mate, but otherwise the society stagnated."
"So, why does the woman who's in charge of the government have time to cook her own food?" I ask.
"My role is primarily a planning one. There's actually very little to be done otherwise. Those parts of the society which work well continue to do so without interference. The Carnolan race is actually very peaceful. There are few things which will cause a violent outburst, and all of those are related to a perceived threat. As a result of their longevity, Carnolans long ago learned how to make money and keep it. Most of the things which humans become addicted to don't work with them anyway. Alcohol and drugs have no effect. The only addiction I'm aware of is the need to make money, but that's only ever done within human laws because of the absolute fear of involving human men in their affairs."
"You've mentioned your husband a few times. Is he with your sons?" I ask.
"My husband is dead. He strayed too near Sunnydale some years ago, when my sons were still young. He was killed."
"I didn't, … did I?"
"Oh, no. Not you. He was given the job of finding out about a Government installation there. I believe they were called the Initiative. He was killed trying to infiltrate their headquarters."
"So the Initiative knew about the Carnolans?" I ask.
"It's likely they thought him human. Carnolans can certainly pass as such for any tests short of a post mortem examination. We managed to retrieve his body - another of the ancient magics at our disposal, so they never got the evidence."
"I'm sorry," I say, knowing it's inadequate from the look of pain on her face as she spoke about him.
"Not as sorry as I am," she answers.
I'm loath to interrupt her thoughts again, but Spike seems to have no qualms about that, although he does leave it for a short while.
"So, you want us to destroy the Senior Partners?"
Lucy seems to have to come back from a long way away, but she answers, "Yes."
"Why?"
"Well, they're not exactly a force for good, are they?"
"No, but it's never as simple as that, is it? We get rid of the Senior Partners, and the power vacuum will be filled by something else. You planning on taking that role?"
"No, we're not. But the fact remains that the Senior Partners have decided to destroy us. We're left the choice of destroying them or being destroyed."
"So," I ask, "what have you done to upset them?"
"Apart from having a prophecy that says we may one day destroy them?"
"Yes, apart from that. I assume that prophecy's been around for a long time."
"It has. But we've made it our habit to keep out of the way, to seem as unthreatening as possible. It was actually you who changed things." She turns to me as she says that. "You're the Slayer who was foretold as being our instrument."
"But if the prophecy says that I could be the one to destroy them, why would they send me to you?"
"I think it's an attempt to circumvent the prophecy. If you're going to meet us, then it'll happen. By giving you the information they did, they obviously hoped to get you to act before you found out the truth."
"I can see why they might think that," I admit.
"And I've got no doubt that they have some sort of hold on you."
"Yes, they have."
"Would you like to tell me what it is?" she asks. "I have no guarantees, but I may be able to help."
"Well, the deal was mystically sealed. I have to destroy the Carnolan species, and only then will the deal be completed. Until then, Lilah, who works for the Senior Partners, has an amulet, and with it she can control Spike. She can make him do things, terrible things, that would destroy him."
"This amulet, is it mystical in nature?"
"I suppose," I admit.
Beside me Spike's unhappiness about the threat of control is clear.
"I don't actually know if he'll be safe here in the enclave. Most magics bounce off, but it depends on the source of the magic. If it's closely related to our own, on the same frequency if you like, it'll get through."
"Why would it be on the same frequency?" Spike asks, and there's suspicion on his face.
"No particular reason," Lucy replies, and she seems quite calm.
"So, I'm still a loose cannon," he mutters, and I put a hand on his.
"I won't let you do anything you don't want to," I remind him.
"But what sort of life is that? Having you nursemaid me all the time."
"Wes might find a way round it," I remind him. "Or Willow."
"Might. Don't fancy trusting might be."
Lucy can obviously sense that I need to spend some time alone with Spike, as she gets up and walks towards the office door. "Let me have your cell phone when you're ready," she says as she goes inside.