The Side Effects of Pumpkin Juice
Neville had just sat down to breakfast on his first day of sixth year when the post Owls swooped in to deliver the year's schedules. 'This should be an easy year' Neville thought as he opened the letter. 'No OWLS, no NEWTS, and no...'
"Advanced Potions?" Neville promptly spit out his pumpkin juice. "Advanced Potions!"
"Neville, calm down! What's wrong?" Hermione whispered, taking the parchment from Neville's hand. "Advanced Potions!"
"Advanced Potions?" Harry inquired.
"Advanced Potions!" confirmed Neville.
"That has to be a mistake..." Ron said as he grabbed the parchment from Hermione. "Nope. Advanced Potions. How'd you manage that?"
"I...I have no idea. I was sure I had gotten a 'troll' or worse..."
"You didn't get your OWL results yet?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"I have, it's just that ...I couldn't really bring myself to look at them. I just told Gran to pick my classes." Neville began to mop up the juice on his trousers.
"Oh. Well...congratulations in any case!" Hermione forced a smile, obviously feeling much sympathy for the clumsy Gryffindor.
Ron and Harry exchanged glances before giving Neville their deepest condolences.
"Well that wasn't so bad was it?" Neville asked Hermione on their way to dinner. "I only ruined one dozen roses, not bad for a new wand eh? And Transfiguration went very well!"
"Yes, well done Neville!" Hermione glowed at him. "Actually, it might actually be your new wand...they say the wand chooses the wizard." She said in a rather matter-of-fact tone.
"Why do you suppose Snape started us out on Love Potions?" Ron asked, "Doesn't really seem like his sort of thing..."
"Hmmm...I suppose Dumbledore intervened. Some seventh-years told me that they began with Crippling potions." Hermione said with a grimace.
Harry sipped his pumpkin juice. "So, what exactly are we supposed to do with this?" He asked as he shook the small red vile that contained his love potion.
"The instructions said to give it to a random person, diluted with five parts of water for every part potion, and observe," Hermione recited as they entered the Great Hall.
"Yeah, but who?" Ron asked.
"A 'random' person." Hermione said.
"Yeah, but..."
Neville's attention shifted to the Ravenclaw table. Instead of sitting by her self, as was usual, Luna Lovegood appeared to be surrounded by at least ten of her housemates, who were hanging on her every word. Neville watched as they took turns distracting Luna's attention to the left, while one of them emptied the contents of what was unmistakably the love potion, into her small glass of pumpkin juice on the right. He had counted more than five vials being used since he began watching.
"Isn't that a little concentrated?" Neville asked Hermione as he pointed to the Ravenclaw table.
"What are they doing? That could have serious side effects!" Hermione said with wide eyes.
"What?" Harry, Ron and Neville all asked in unison.
Hermione sighed, "Didn't any of you do you're summer work?" She paused for an answer. "Wait, of course you didn't. The pomegranate potion we made today is not technically a love potion, which is only a general term applied to all potions dealing with affairs of the heart. Technically, it's a passion potion." Hermione paused for effect. "Meaning that the person who drinks the potion will simply be more susseptible to wooing, and not just from one person." Again, Hermione paused only to see very confused expressions on her friend's faces. "Meaning that anyone can come along and try to convince a person under the influence of the pomegranate potion to...well, participate in certain activities..."
"Oh, so somebody could convince Luna to go snog in the corner right?" Ron asked.
"Well, with a typical dosage yes, but with that much concentrated potion I'm afraid the effects could be much more serious. She could be tempted to...you know...with just anybody! I'm going over there!"
"Wait, Hermione! You can't just barge in on their table! They have their own prefects you know!" Ron said as he grabbed Hermione by the wrist.
"I know, and I also know that two of them just gave undiluted passion potion to her! And I..."
Neville watched as Luna picked up the glass and held it to her lips. He looked up to see Ron physically holding Hermione back and Harry determinedly staring in the opposite direction. 'Well, it's now or never.' Neville thought.
"Accio glass!" Neville shouted as he pointed his wand at the offending glass. 'Please work, please work, please work...' Just as Luna lifted the glass for another sip it began to tremble, and then, miraculously, it began to slowly drift across the room, to Neville's waiting hand.
"I did it." Neville stared incredulously at the glass. "That was too easy..." He whispered to himself. As he craned his neck to peer at the Ravenclaw Table, he noticed that Luna was missing! Was he too late? Did she already run off with some randy--"
"Excuse me Neville, but why did you steal my pumpkin juice?" Luna asked, suddenly right across from him.
"Ahh!" Neville knocked over the tainted juice in surprise. "Oh, I..." He looked at his friends for help, all of whom seemed to find their food extremely fascinating at that moment. "I...well, you see..."
"Wallaby," said a voice from behind him.
"Huh?" Neville asked. He looked up to see Ginny Weasley pointing down into the puddle of love potion and pumpkin juice.
"Wallaby. There was a wallaby in your drink. Thank Merlin Neville had the foresight to take it from you!"
"Oh! Well in that case, thank you very much!" Luna suddenly leaned across the table to give Neville a very firm hug, causing the heat to rush to his face. "I shall be very sure to always check my juice for wallabies in the future." And with this Luna swept out of the Great Hall.
"Well that was strange." Said Ron, as everyone else silently nodded his or her heads in agreement.
'I still have absolutely no idea who I'm going to give this stuff to...' Neville thought as he flipped through {a book with the title} 'Love and Lust in Magic'. He hoped that if he found out what the results were supposed to be, he wouldn't have to give the potion to anyone. However, the best he had come up with was that 'reactions vary depending on the will of the consumer'
"A wallaby is a small marsupial native to Australia." Insisted a loud voice from the other side of the Library.
Madame Pince, apparently outraged at the gall of this student, came out from around her desk and tried to physically remove her from the library. Luna Lovegood, however, was having none of it. She purposefully strode towards Neville's table at the back of the Library, with the Librarian fast in tow.
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice, Neville?" She asked, not yet half way across the cavernous room.
"I...umm...I was very thirsty?" Neville sputtered in a much quieter tone than Luna's.
"You had a pitcher of juice right in front of you. Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?"
"Well...you see...funny thing actually..."
"Out! Out out out!" Madam Pince had lost her patients. She proceeded to grab both Neville and Luna by the back of their collars, dragged them out of the Library, and slammed the doors on them.
"Heh, strong isn't she?" Neville said, desperate for a change of subject.
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?" Luna asked again, in a calm, yet very firm voice.
"Uh...let's go somewhere else and talk about this." He suggested, noticing a small crowd of students had followed them out of the library to see what the commotion was all about.
Neville made his way to the room of requirement, which he knew would be empty, with Luna following behind silently. Well...almost silently...
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?"
"Luna, that's the tenth time you've asked me that."
"I will stop when I have received a satisfactory answer. I'm accustomed to my housemates stealing things from out of my hands, but not someone I considered a friend. Are you my friend, Neville?"
"I...well of course I am...it's just that-"
"Then why did you steal my juice?"
"Alright! Look, the other Ravenclaws had dumped quite a few vials of undiluted love potion into your glass, and I didn't want you to drink it because of the...side effects..."
"What side effects?"
A blush crept up Neville's face. "Well...it was really concentrated...and...umm...we're here." Neville paced along the hallway 'I need a place to talk to Luna' A shimmer of gold caught his eye 'Merlin she looks pretty in this light...I need a place to talk to Luna' Again, he was distracted by her presence. Somehow, during this time of night Luna's eyes didn't seem nearly so disturbing... 'I need a place to...talk to Luna'. The ritual having been completed he made his way back to the entrance. "Let's discuss this inside." Neville said as he opened the door.
"Mmmm...Ron...we should stop, it's almost curfew."
"Just a while longer...I...mmm...Hermione..."
Neville looked on in horror as the two Gryffindor prefects, minus several crucial items of clothing, snogged each other's brains out. 'If I just quietly close the door they'll never know...'
"Excuse me..." Luna said loudly, causing both Ron and Hermione to tumble backwards off the couch they were on. "Do you know when you two will be finished here, because Neville and I have some rather important business to discuss."
Neville had just sat down to breakfast on his first day of sixth year when the post Owls swooped in to deliver the year's schedules. 'This should be an easy year' Neville thought as he opened the letter. 'No OWLS, no NEWTS, and no...'
"Advanced Potions?" Neville promptly spit out his pumpkin juice. "Advanced Potions!"
"Neville, calm down! What's wrong?" Hermione whispered, taking the parchment from Neville's hand. "Advanced Potions!"
"Advanced Potions?" Harry inquired.
"Advanced Potions!" confirmed Neville.
"That has to be a mistake..." Ron said as he grabbed the parchment from Hermione. "Nope. Advanced Potions. How'd you manage that?"
"I...I have no idea. I was sure I had gotten a 'troll' or worse..."
"You didn't get your OWL results yet?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"I have, it's just that ...I couldn't really bring myself to look at them. I just told Gran to pick my classes." Neville began to mop up the juice on his trousers.
"Oh. Well...congratulations in any case!" Hermione forced a smile, obviously feeling much sympathy for the clumsy Gryffindor.
Ron and Harry exchanged glances before giving Neville their deepest condolences.
"Well that wasn't so bad was it?" Neville asked Hermione on their way to dinner. "I only ruined one dozen roses, not bad for a new wand eh? And Transfiguration went very well!"
"Yes, well done Neville!" Hermione glowed at him. "Actually, it might actually be your new wand...they say the wand chooses the wizard." She said in a rather matter-of-fact tone.
"Why do you suppose Snape started us out on Love Potions?" Ron asked, "Doesn't really seem like his sort of thing..."
"Hmmm...I suppose Dumbledore intervened. Some seventh-years told me that they began with Crippling potions." Hermione said with a grimace.
Harry sipped his pumpkin juice. "So, what exactly are we supposed to do with this?" He asked as he shook the small red vile that contained his love potion.
"The instructions said to give it to a random person, diluted with five parts of water for every part potion, and observe," Hermione recited as they entered the Great Hall.
"Yeah, but who?" Ron asked.
"A 'random' person." Hermione said.
"Yeah, but..."
Neville's attention shifted to the Ravenclaw table. Instead of sitting by her self, as was usual, Luna Lovegood appeared to be surrounded by at least ten of her housemates, who were hanging on her every word. Neville watched as they took turns distracting Luna's attention to the left, while one of them emptied the contents of what was unmistakably the love potion, into her small glass of pumpkin juice on the right. He had counted more than five vials being used since he began watching.
"Isn't that a little concentrated?" Neville asked Hermione as he pointed to the Ravenclaw table.
"What are they doing? That could have serious side effects!" Hermione said with wide eyes.
"What?" Harry, Ron and Neville all asked in unison.
Hermione sighed, "Didn't any of you do you're summer work?" She paused for an answer. "Wait, of course you didn't. The pomegranate potion we made today is not technically a love potion, which is only a general term applied to all potions dealing with affairs of the heart. Technically, it's a passion potion." Hermione paused for effect. "Meaning that the person who drinks the potion will simply be more susseptible to wooing, and not just from one person." Again, Hermione paused only to see very confused expressions on her friend's faces. "Meaning that anyone can come along and try to convince a person under the influence of the pomegranate potion to...well, participate in certain activities..."
"Oh, so somebody could convince Luna to go snog in the corner right?" Ron asked.
"Well, with a typical dosage yes, but with that much concentrated potion I'm afraid the effects could be much more serious. She could be tempted to...you know...with just anybody! I'm going over there!"
"Wait, Hermione! You can't just barge in on their table! They have their own prefects you know!" Ron said as he grabbed Hermione by the wrist.
"I know, and I also know that two of them just gave undiluted passion potion to her! And I..."
Neville watched as Luna picked up the glass and held it to her lips. He looked up to see Ron physically holding Hermione back and Harry determinedly staring in the opposite direction. 'Well, it's now or never.' Neville thought.
"Accio glass!" Neville shouted as he pointed his wand at the offending glass. 'Please work, please work, please work...' Just as Luna lifted the glass for another sip it began to tremble, and then, miraculously, it began to slowly drift across the room, to Neville's waiting hand.
"I did it." Neville stared incredulously at the glass. "That was too easy..." He whispered to himself. As he craned his neck to peer at the Ravenclaw Table, he noticed that Luna was missing! Was he too late? Did she already run off with some randy--"
"Excuse me Neville, but why did you steal my pumpkin juice?" Luna asked, suddenly right across from him.
"Ahh!" Neville knocked over the tainted juice in surprise. "Oh, I..." He looked at his friends for help, all of whom seemed to find their food extremely fascinating at that moment. "I...well, you see..."
"Wallaby," said a voice from behind him.
"Huh?" Neville asked. He looked up to see Ginny Weasley pointing down into the puddle of love potion and pumpkin juice.
"Wallaby. There was a wallaby in your drink. Thank Merlin Neville had the foresight to take it from you!"
"Oh! Well in that case, thank you very much!" Luna suddenly leaned across the table to give Neville a very firm hug, causing the heat to rush to his face. "I shall be very sure to always check my juice for wallabies in the future." And with this Luna swept out of the Great Hall.
"Well that was strange." Said Ron, as everyone else silently nodded his or her heads in agreement.
'I still have absolutely no idea who I'm going to give this stuff to...' Neville thought as he flipped through {a book with the title} 'Love and Lust in Magic'. He hoped that if he found out what the results were supposed to be, he wouldn't have to give the potion to anyone. However, the best he had come up with was that 'reactions vary depending on the will of the consumer'
"A wallaby is a small marsupial native to Australia." Insisted a loud voice from the other side of the Library.
Madame Pince, apparently outraged at the gall of this student, came out from around her desk and tried to physically remove her from the library. Luna Lovegood, however, was having none of it. She purposefully strode towards Neville's table at the back of the Library, with the Librarian fast in tow.
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice, Neville?" She asked, not yet half way across the cavernous room.
"I...umm...I was very thirsty?" Neville sputtered in a much quieter tone than Luna's.
"You had a pitcher of juice right in front of you. Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?"
"Well...you see...funny thing actually..."
"Out! Out out out!" Madam Pince had lost her patients. She proceeded to grab both Neville and Luna by the back of their collars, dragged them out of the Library, and slammed the doors on them.
"Heh, strong isn't she?" Neville said, desperate for a change of subject.
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?" Luna asked again, in a calm, yet very firm voice.
"Uh...let's go somewhere else and talk about this." He suggested, noticing a small crowd of students had followed them out of the library to see what the commotion was all about.
Neville made his way to the room of requirement, which he knew would be empty, with Luna following behind silently. Well...almost silently...
"Why did you steal my pumpkin juice?"
"Luna, that's the tenth time you've asked me that."
"I will stop when I have received a satisfactory answer. I'm accustomed to my housemates stealing things from out of my hands, but not someone I considered a friend. Are you my friend, Neville?"
"I...well of course I am...it's just that-"
"Then why did you steal my juice?"
"Alright! Look, the other Ravenclaws had dumped quite a few vials of undiluted love potion into your glass, and I didn't want you to drink it because of the...side effects..."
"What side effects?"
A blush crept up Neville's face. "Well...it was really concentrated...and...umm...we're here." Neville paced along the hallway 'I need a place to talk to Luna' A shimmer of gold caught his eye 'Merlin she looks pretty in this light...I need a place to talk to Luna' Again, he was distracted by her presence. Somehow, during this time of night Luna's eyes didn't seem nearly so disturbing... 'I need a place to...talk to Luna'. The ritual having been completed he made his way back to the entrance. "Let's discuss this inside." Neville said as he opened the door.
"Mmmm...Ron...we should stop, it's almost curfew."
"Just a while longer...I...mmm...Hermione..."
Neville looked on in horror as the two Gryffindor prefects, minus several crucial items of clothing, snogged each other's brains out. 'If I just quietly close the door they'll never know...'
"Excuse me..." Luna said loudly, causing both Ron and Hermione to tumble backwards off the couch they were on. "Do you know when you two will be finished here, because Neville and I have some rather important business to discuss."