AN: Thanks to all who read and reviewed! You guys deserve many thank yous. I wrote individual notes for yall, but they just disappeared. Needless to say, I am pissed at the Internet black hole. But I will voice my thank yous to the following: Yochy, lysser8312, newportbabe44, Reader07, bugbabe24, OTHlover04, hope165, LockerRoomBandit17, Aiesha, and sleepneeded911.
Chapter 3: The CCC
A month slipped by but that kiss still haunted both Haley and Nathan. Neither could forget the raw passion. Haley started to feel just like a hopeless romantic and Nathan felt like a weak puppy in love. The sad part was that they had no way to contact the other. Yep, Nathan's security guards were strict on "stalkers" so Haley could never send him "fan" mail. Nathan only knew her full name. Haley James is as common as John Smith. So much for tracking down his star-crossed lover. Besides that would be so Lance Bass-like (no offense).
So they remained separated. Of course, neither were pathetically moping around openly. Haley went on dates and hit the sack a few times. Nathan, well he did the wild thang too. But the fcuk toys were just not enough. Both wanted more and could only find it when the other was around.
Of course Haley, being of the female population and under such weird love circumstances, definitely needed girl talk. She needed a good pillow fight, a major ice cream binge, and a big gossiping rant. So she called Jake.
Now I know what yall are thinking. Ain't Jake a guy? Well, that my friend is the mysterious beauty of transsexuals... Just kidding! Jake is the straightest most fertile guy alive, seeing how he has a baby girl with that Nikki slut. But being a young father just makes him more sensitive than the rest of the cock-grabbing males... even more so than her fellow females.
Once they had dug their claws in enough ice cream to give them stretch marks (not sure about Jake though... do guys get stretch marks?), they began the girl talk.
"Jake, if you were a girl and you met this guy who was a total prick and one of those people you usually wish death upon, but you now kinda love him. Well, no I mean, you like him. Because I for one am not a girl who swoons and falls in love—but I'm not talking about me. No, no, no my friend, I'm talking about this friend of mine, who—uh is in this situation... so what would ya do?" Haley asked Jake so nervously that she rambled on. "Dear God, I hope he fell for the 'this friend of mine' excuse. O who am I kidding? Even, Lucas, the village idiot, would never fall for that one. Nice save, Haley, you really know how to use that 10% of your brain to your advantage," she taunted herself cynically. This was the first time she talked about Nathan... well outside of her head, that is. And she didn't want to let that to-the-grave secret get out of the grave and haunt her. Basically, she was a little queasy talking seriously about a guy.
"Aww... who's the lucky guy?" Jake said seeing through her lame excuse while winking and prodding her on the shoulder. Haley just rolled her eyes. "Why am I friends with him again? O right, for girl talk," she thought. He was so much like Lucas that she had to be super patient. Both were brothers and shared the same genes that linked them with stupidity and insanity. Nevertheless, she loved both crazy idiots.
"Nathan Scott," she said while feigning sarcasm. Hey, she was technically telling the truth. He just most likely wouldn't believe her, but that was his problem. And she didn't have a problem with it one little itty bit.
"And I'm the queen of England," Jake said as he scrunched up his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. He could tell she was acting, but he wasn't sure. She was so sarcastic. But that was Haley for ya. "Good god, some guy better tame her one day. She seriously is in need of the tameage. Hell, I'll pay a gigolo to... but that could turn into a really bad teen movie moment," Jake thought while braiding her hair. Hey, it is girl talk!
"Nope buddy, you're the drag-queen of America," Haley said quickly while laughing at Jake's face. That didn't last long though. Jake started to begin the tickling ritual. Ahhh how the tables have turned!
"Say uncle!" Jake commanded while tickling under her arms, the universal tickling spot. He put her into a headlock and waited patiently for her to comply. He loved to mess with her. Underneath that heart of solid ice was a heart of gold. But it was protected by a thick layer of lead. Being the supreme genius he was as a kid, he remembered telling her that she was a hopeless case. If Superman can't even help you (because he can't see through lead—duh!), then who else could? See, the mind of a young genius is pure and brilliant.
"Aunt!" Haley said while laughing as she raced out of the room, half her hair in a braid, the other half in a weird Spice Girl-like pigtail. "Wait, what?" Jake asked himself confused and followed her, still bewildered that Haley had out-witted him. Only Haley could pull a fast move like that.
Brrrrrrrring! The phone's ringing echoed through the hall and Jake rushed to get it. As the conversation ended, he went over to Haley picked her up and shoved her over his shoulder like a dead body in a bag—except she moved lively and kicked all of the place. Add incessant whining to the violent thrashing and you have a hysterical Haley laughing and crying out in annoyance. He grabbed the car keys and buckled her into the car like she was a 2 year-old.
"Where are we going?" Haley asked still not fully grasping the fact that Jake had just carried her across the whole house into the car. Wow, the boy had some mighty biceps. That was for sure.
"The country club. I've got a police meeting and you're just coming because you called me an Aunt," Jake said while checking his watch. Haley pouted at Jake and then decided to try the dumbass act... just to see if she could get out of this mess. Hey, it works when she's at the office. People tend to think she's too dumb to hold a folder. It's a beautiful skill, it truly is...
"What? I never called you an Aunt," she said, popping her eyes out and flipping her hair. Jake just laughed. Yep, he knew that trick. Everyone knew that trick. A person with half a freaking brain would know that trick. She just didn't know how obvious she was.
"Are we there yet?" Haley asked, her voice screeching with whininess. He told her to shut up in that fatherly voice. She smirked richly at herself. Yep, she knew how to get on Jake's nerves. If she had to go to the country club, she would make the time being a living hell for poor Jake.
"Are we there yet?" she asked over and over again, every two seconds. Of course, Jake knew what she was doing. So, like a good caring father, he just put ear plugs in. Easy as that kiddos, easy as that.
When they pulled into the country club, Jake had to pry Haley from a metal poll she was clinging onto for dear life. Haley with her spectacularly wild hair-do entered the Charlotte Country Club with distaste for this hide-out for rich bums and contempt at Jake. The CCC was a "sophisticated luxury club for the wealthy only." Jake and Lucas were from a big time wealthy family. Thus, Haley had free entry throughout the club without even a second glance at her Spice Girl hair.
"God, this place is like the underground chambers for the KKK. It's no wonder they are called the CCC—Clu Clux Clan, duh! They are like the secretive KKK... minus the racism. Ok, so maybe they aren't even remotely related or linked to the KKK, but whatever! They are just a big pile of rich pigs. I SO don't belong here. I swear, I may just drop dead right now. I hate this place... Ahhh I need a good drink. Maybe if I get drunk, they'll kick me out and I'll be arrested for my innate ability to be loud and obnoxious," Haley thought furiously while sliding into a smooth bar stool.
She looked up at the menu board, intending to read the alcohol specials. Except for one tinsy little problem. Everything was in another fcuking language. Pent up anger boiled over and she tapped the shoulder of some waitress.
"Excuse me, but what the hell is that?" Haley said angrily pointing to the menu board. She watched the waitress expectantly, while thinking "the point of the freaking board is to understand it. Not for the calligraphy to just sit pretty and be gawked at. No, I wanted a good hard drink and now I can't have it. Thanks to the genius who decided that America all of the sudden couldn't understand English anymore. So now, I have to learn French or German or Chinese to understand a menu. What's next? Chinese restaurants with Italian menus?" She really wasn't pissed off at the menu board. Noooo, it was in the way of her wrath. And so was the poor waitress.
"Ma'am that would be French," the waitress said politely in her deep Southern accent while gripping her apron tightly. She sure as hell would like to give this bitch the ol' one two. As a waitress though, she had to restrain herself. It was people like Haley that made her squeeze her stress ball to the point of spontaneous combustion.
Haley squinted her eyes trying to decipher the letters. "Looks like the English alphabet, but it's not quite English... " she thought, completely forgetting her anger. Finally, she gave up. Why she thought she may actually have a hidden knack for translating French was unbeknownst to her. Her anger reappeared instantly and she demanded an English version.
The waitress hurried to get it and handed her one. All the while thinking "stupid bipolar bitch. Just wait, one day I won't be working here anymore and I'll walk right up to her. Give her the blackest eye this side of the Mississippi. Just wait bitch, just wait..." Yeah... the poor deep Southern waitress was grudging, but who could blame her? Poor girl's been waitressing for 8 years at a snooty club. Not exactly the dream of the century.
Browsing carelessly through the menu, Haley turned her attention to the rest of the rich snobs around her. She had tried to converse politely, well at least Haley's version of "politeness" (meaning, there would be a few snide remarks followed by the ever so famous Haley James eye-roll). But over the years, she just gave up. And quite frankly, she didn't feel like being condescended to.
As she scanned the room for potential one night stands, her eyes zoomed in a male figure being fawned over by countless hoes. They were giggling and twirling their hair. "My god, could they be any less pathetic? Seriously. Besides, he would never give them a chance. Look at them. Their eyes are wide, their twirling their hair... just like my dumb blonde act. O MY GOD! Nahuh! They did not just steal my dumbass act! That's robbery, I tell you. No way Jose! That's my act hun, so just drop it and get your scrawny ass out the door... Damn, I knew I should have gotten it patented..." Haley thought glumly while muttering "fcuking injustice" and "dumbass-act stealing whores" every now and then.
As the cloud of females spread apart, Haley's jaw just dropped. No fcuking way. She rubbed her eyes hard. Were her eyes deceiving her? After all, her contacts were a bitch this morning. Was she hallucinating? Not drinking a good daily dosage of liquor in the CCC tended to make her delusional. Did he have a twin she didn't hear about? No, they would've been the male version of the Olsen Twins. Ew, that'd be creepy. Was this guy just a look- alike? Most celebs have look-alikes. Of course. He probably had a couple look-alikes. That was it. It couldn't possibly be the real Nathan Scott.
Why? Because that would be like a really bad love story where the lovers would only meet through destiny even though one lives luxuriously in Hollywood and the other's in a small dinky Southern town that's not even on a map. And those bad love stories... well, they just don't ever happen, do they?
Deciding that the male figure was a look-alike, Haley walked by hoping if it was the real him, he'd notice her. If not, then he's a look-alike or he's not interested anymore. She slowly walked past him, looking into his eyes. Ok, no doubt about it. That's the real him. Soft fuzzy little butterflies started to swim in her stomach. Nervous dread swept through her. He looked directly at her; blue eyes on brown.
Nathan left the swarm of girls and climbed upstairs to sit out on the balcony. He was kinda hoping Haley would follow him. You know, get the hint, catch his drift, read between the lines; but she just stood there staring at him. "My life is a really bad love story. No doubt about it," she thought quietly as she began to move her numb feet. One foot in front of the other, she climbed up the stairs and headed towards the balcony.
She opened the French-made porcelain doors, while silently cursing the CCC's elegance yet lack of interest in the world's ever-increasing problems. "Stupid door could be sold and feed an entire tribe, but noooo. Let's just sit back, relax and watch them all die from our embroidered downy feather-stuffed sofa. Just add all of those silky throw pillows and voila! You've got instant entertainment fit for the CCC's elite," Haley thought sarcastically. Ok, she knew she was being a complete and utter hypocrite right now. I mean, she's not exactly rallying for that tribe, is she? Hell, she works for a red carpeting company. She practically endorses celebrity/rich people life. But right now, she needed to focus her attention on something, anything other than Nathan and all her girly notions of love.
Both lovers looked deeply into the other's eyes. Then the waiter knocked on the balcony's door and opened them. He stared at them, too. It was exactly like that moment on this really bad teen drama show. You know, the part when the guy is like staring at these two girls in his room and it takes like forever. I mean, you just want to stand up and slap that kid. It was like a freaking staring contest. Geez... what was the name of that show? Hmm... I wonder...
After the star-struck waiter left (which, by the way, took like forever), Haley leaned against the railings right next to Nathan. He was gripping the metal railing with white fingers, thinking "God, maybe I just might get her phone number this time..." He sure as hell didn't want to miss his shot. He was going to get that number even if he had to ask the CCC's owner. There's a very fine line between wannabe lover and stalker, and Nathan seemed to be crossing with one toe over that line.
"So umm..." Nathan started, trying to break the ice. He was never great at these types of things. He never needed to break the ice. Usually, he was the person ignoring the attention and shooing off the fans. But, he could probably safely say that... umm... this was definitely not one of those times.
"So umm what?" Haley asked, sick of the ice-breaking. Cmon, ice-breaking takes more than the use of one word and one incoherent syllable. Duh, that's like common knowledge. And of course, our dear Haley James was never one to beat around the bush.
"Uhhh..." Nathan managed to say. Hey, can ya blame the lil bugger? The girl just made his tongue tie up in a Houdini knot and belittled his attempt to break the ice. I'm sure you could scrape some bits and pieces of sympathy for the poor guy.
"So what do ya think about the weather?" Haley asked after Nathan had a complete brain meltdown. She was trying hard to light up a conversation, but she found it very excruciating when your converser seemed to suddenly lack brain cells. But, of course, talking about the weather is the best conversation starter to yet be made. And being never-failing, it worked again. So Haley and Nathan talking inanimately about the bouts of rain and wind for a good 3 whole minutes. Yey, for them.
Then the silence presumed and the wind did indeed blow by. Shivering, Haley walked inside silently and was predictably followed by Nathan. He then directed her to a bedroom. Bright-eyed, Haley followed willingly this time. Cmon, gals, this is the moment Haley and every romantic novelist has been waiting for...
Once inside the luxurious room, Nathan popped open a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and poured two glasses. Haley followed, letting her romantic thoughts swallow her up. "O my, awww the wine gesture was so sweet. And a perfect grape choice. Just what I like. How'd he know? O he is just the sweetest thang since brown sugar... Hold up, did I just say that? My god, what did he do to me?"
"Let me just go get some fruit," Nathan said as he opened the door and gently shut it tight. He wanted to do this the right way. With the wine and fruits and of course, the whipped cream... This was their 3rd meeting and he was ready to give her everything already. "She looks so beautiful... even with the weird hairdo, she looks stunning..." he thought as he entered the open kitchen to grab the necessities. Just as he had everything, he ran into someone.
"Excuse me," Nathan said nonchalantly. Nothing was gonna take his mind off the o so many possibilities. And those possibilities included the use of whipped cream... ahhh, he was drooling already...
"So you're the guy Haley's been talking bout? I'm Jake, her best friend. C'mere I wanna ask you something," Jake said while eyeing Nathan suspiciously. This guy may be famous, but he was no fool. He did happen to see Haley enter a room with this fella and right now, he could also easily see the whipped cream.
Nathan followed Jake reluctantly, but felt like a boy talking to his girlfriend's dad. He was nervous, but determined. He just as hell wasn't gonna lose Haley to this guy just because Jake was an overprotective big guy who intimidated Nathan to the point of pant-pissing. Hey, dads scare all guys... It's a totally normal reaction on Nathan's part... He's not a wuss. "I'm not a wuss," Nathan repeated in his head over and over again. If he chanted it, maybe it'd come true...
Jake brought him to an excluded area and then cornered Nathan to the wall. Awww... just like the dad he was...
"What are your motives?" Jake began with a burly voice.
"I uhh..." Nathan stuttered. He wasn't one to do well under pressure, especially when there was a girl at stake.
"What's your M.O.?" Jake said again, more professionally.
"What are you, a cop?" Nahtna said after a minute or two of stuttering. He had managed to regain some confidence and lead full stream ahead.
"I'm a sergeant and detective," Jake said with big eyes that could make a man yelp for his mama.
"Ooo..." Nathan said after understanding that he was in a bigger pile of sh!t than he had originally thought.
"So is this a fling or something more?"
"Something more, I believe—"
"Right, we should talk about your beliefs. Your religious beliefs.
"I go to church... an-and I help lil kids on the street an-and I—"
"I don't care. Do you believe in the Ten Commandments, namely the adultery and lying part?"
"I uhh.. sure. Sure."
"Is that a yes or no, soldier?"
"A yes. It's a yes."
"So what do you feel about sex?"
"It's umm... great?"
"Great huh? By great, do you mean it's just meaningless and you're never gonna call her? Or do you mean, you're just gonna drop your pants, pass on an STD and leave?"
"I'm gonna call her and I don't have any STDs and I won't leave and I—It's not meaningless..."
"Which is more important, love or money?"
"Love."
"Good, now do you care about her?"
"Yes, I think I even love her..."
"Ok, so you passed the test. But hell will break loose if I even hear that she has an STD or you cheated or lied or pulled some sh!t. Got it?" Jake asked sternly, pointing his finger up at Nathan like he was a naughty child caught stealing porn.
"Uhh yeah I got it," Nathan said while looking at the gun in Jake's pocket. Jake turned away and walked off. Numbly, Nathan stood there. "What the hell just happened? One second, the guy was all smiles. The next, he's cussing and yelling. My god, this town is bipolar," he thought while running his hand through his ruffled hair. He walked back to the bedroom, dreaming about the wonders of whipped cream.
Hand on the knob, he opened the door, seeing an empty bed with a chicken- scratched note on top of the silky quilts.
Nathan, I'm sorry I have to go. My sis, Jules, has just gone into labor and she's yelling on the phone for me to be there pronto. I really really wanted tonight to happen. I have to go before she gets out the guns. Sorry. Love, Haley.
"God dammit. My life is a really bad love story," Nathan said out loud before dropping the whipped cream and fruit. He knew where he was going: straight to the CCC's owner for a little info leak.