Author's Note: Hey ya'll, I know the 1st chapter is a little odd, but as I say in the summary the dreams get worse and worse and funnier and funnier!

Chapter 2: Baby Got Back

Hermione darted upright in bed and let out a gasp of shock.

It was a dream. A weird dream if that.

"Mummy?" A little voice asked.

Hermione looked over her bedside at her daughter. "Yes, darling?"

"Can I have some juice?"

"Sure, I'll get you some. But try not to wake up daddy," she whispered motioning over at the sleeping Harry.

Hermione got up with a headache and held her daughter's small hand as they exited the room. What the hell was that dream about? She kept asking herself. For one, that reunion was a week away, and it wasn't the third reunion, it was the fifth. And why was Ron hitting on her when she was married to Harry? And why the bloody hell did she not feel even the slightest bit of jealousy when Cho stole him away?

"Shh," Herm whispered as they passed her son's bedroom, James. Hermione and Harry had two children; James, 6, and Francesca, 4. Plus, she was well into her seventh month of pregnancy with another boy they planned to name Sirius.

James didn't seem to wake up as they passed his open door. Upon arriving into the kitchen, Hermoine opened the fridge and covered her nose at the horrid smell.

"That smells like shit!" Her daughter yelled.

"Francesca Violet Potter!" Hermoine screamed. "Where did you learn that dirty word!"

"Ron." She said it so matter-of –factly it scared Hermoine.

Ron had moved in with Harry and Hermione when James was barely born. His excuse was that Herm needed help with baby James. But weeks turned into months and years, and when Harry was ready to finally give him the 'you gotta move on' speech, Herm announced over dinner she was pregnant with Harry's second baby, giving Ron another excuse to stay. But the Potters had grown used to lovable Ron around and the children couldn't bear to part from their godfather if they threw him out.

"Ron? Uncle Ron taught you that word?" Hermione asked again.

"Yes. He said that to daddy after you bought that new perfume."

Hermoine sighed; did her new perfume really smell like shit?

"Don't worry mummy, I think it makes you smell like a princess. Even though Ron told me Cinderella was a perverted bitch that"-

"Francesca Violet Potter!" Hermoine repeated. She was definitely going to talk to little innocent Ron when he woke up for work in the morning.

"If I hear those words out of your mouth again, I'll put you in time out! Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Hermione grabbed Francesca's juice carton and sent her away to away to bed. When she crawled back next to Harry she was relieved he was now awake so she can tell him about her little escapade downstairs.

"Harry love, you have any idea what your daughter has just said?"

"Mummy, can I have some juice?" Harry said mimicking his daughter's sweet voice. "Yeah, so what? She always wants her juice in the middle of the night. Strange, she only does that to interrupt us when were fucking"-

"Harry!" Hermoine shrieked. "Watch your language! Your daughter has just said very rude swear words! And do you know who taught her?"

"Ron?" Harry suggested hoping Hermione wasn't going to blame him.

"How did you know?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"Well you know Ron, he's a potty mouth."

"Have a talk with him," Hermoine said crossing her arms.

"Fine. I'll talk to him after work tomorrow." He leaned over to rub Hermione's belly. "Aw, hello my little Sirius."

"Ron better not take time off work to 'help me' I really don't need help!"

"We need sitters, and you can use some sleep this time around."

"Yeah, I really do, and I need sleep now. Night, love. Night Sirius."

Hermoine turned to her side and closed her eyes. Unaware of how bizarre her next dream was going to be.

She was with Harry and Ron on an empty street. Harry stuck out his wand, and in a flash, the Knight Bus had stopped in front of them.

Stan came out and welcomed them inside. When they were onboard the bus, Hermione noticed Professor Lupin was sitting on one of the beds.

"Hello Remus!" Hermione stated.

"Hello Hermione..." Remus said in a slow sexy voice. "Would you like to sit on daddy's lap?"

"Uh? No thanks....professor." She looked at Harry and Ron but they didn't seem to notice Lupin was there.

She sat with Harry on the bed behind Remus. Why was Remus talking so funny?

"Hermione," Remus whispered. He turned around to meet her gaze.

"Yes, Professor?" She asked.

"What would you say if we headed up to the third floor? And share a bed together?"

Hermione immediately looked up at Harry, but Harry seemed lost in his own thoughts. She looked for Ron, but Ron was no longer in sight. "Ron!" She called.

Ron stepped out of the bathroom waving his hand in front of his face. "Damn! That bathroom sucks! The toilet paper is so thin too! When Ernie made that turn back there my fingers went straight up my ass!"

"EW!" Hermione yelled. But it wasn't because of Ron's previous statement, it was because Professor Lupin was now up from the bed he occupied and was dancing around one of the balance poles like a stripper.

Professor Lupin began taking off his cloak and was singing, "I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! And when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung! Want to pull out stuff cause you know that butt was stuffed!"

"PROFESSOR!" Hermione screamed.

Ron and Harry were laughing at Lupin and singing along. "Oh baby! I wanna get with ya' and take ya' pictcha' my homeboys tried to warn me but that but you got makes me so HORNY!"

To Hermione's dread even Stan and Ern and that incredibly annoying Jamaican head were singing along too. (I love that little head). Hermione always found that song 'Baby Got Back' incredibly annoying.

Professor Lupin already had his shirt off and was undoing his belt. "I see them dancin' the hell with romancing make me sweat! WET! Got it going like a turbo vet! I'm tired of magazines seeing flat butts on them things"-

"STOP!" Hermione demanded as Remus cracked his belt like a whip in front of her.

But Remus kept stripping and everyone kept singing, "SO FELLAS!"

"YEAH!" Everyone yelled.

"FELLAS!"

"YEAH!"

"DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOT THE BUTT?"

"HELL YEAH!"

"TIME TO SHAKE IT!"

"SHAKE IT!"

"SHAKE IT!" Remus sang rubbing his butt against the pole in his black speedo underwear.

"SHAKE IT!"

"Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back!"

And just before Lupin stripped off that little black underwear he was wearing...Hermione woke up with a start again. It was well into morning now. And to her annoyance, Ron was singing along to 'Baby Got Back' downstairs.