Author's Note: I know the story is bizarre so far (hahaha that rhymes!) but hey, I've read stories on this site like 10 times weirder. If many of you had read my other fanfic story 'Epiphany' than you can these 2 stories are completely opposite. But anyways, I was bored and for the many of you that are bored and looking for a good laugh, continue...

Chapter 3: What's Going On?

Hermione rushed downstairs to shut Ron up. She found him in the kitchen making scrambled eggs for the family.

"My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun! You could do side bends or sit-ups but please don't lose that butt!" Ron sang.

Hermione couldn't stand it anymore.

"STOP!"

"HAMMER TIME!" Ron yelled in response.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh after Ron's statement. "What's with the old school rap?" She asked.

"I dunno," Ron said as he turned over the eggs.

"You know the weirdest thing?" Hermione continued. "Is that I had a dream right now while you were singing that song."

"That tends to happen. Orange Juice?" He offered.

"Yes, please."

"So tell me what the dream was about?"

"Oh that's way too embarrassing!" Hermione blushed.

"Aw, come on!" Ron begged as he handed Hermione her cup of juice.

"Oh, alright, but don't tell Harry."

"This is gonna be good, I can tell." Ron rubbed his hands together and poured the scrambled eggs in a separate dish.

"Well, you and Harry were with me in the Knight Bus. And all of you, were singing that annoying song and pissing me off," she laughed.

"At least we weren't singing, the wheels on the bus go round and round," Ron teased.

"The worst part is Professor Lupin was there, and he started the song in the first place. Then he got up and began stripping to it!"

Ron choked on his orange juice. "Now that's comedy! Was he completely naked?"

"No. I woke up before that."

"You sound disappointed," Ron laughed. "Breakfast is almost done, go back to your bedroom and tell Harry to come down."

Hermione left back upstairs, and forgot completely to confront Ron about last night's events. She could hear Ron continue downstairs, "Some knuckle head tried to diss! Cuz his girls are on my list he had game but he chose to hit 'em and I pulled up quick to get with 'em! So ladies if your butt is round and you want a triple X slow down! Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot and kick them nasty thoughts! Back Got Back!"

Hermione laughed at herself. It was just a stupid dream.

When she entered her bedroom, she could hear Harry brushing his teeth. Hermione walked into the bathroom when Harry was rinsing. To her surprise Harry was wearing a white tank top with his white shirt unbuttoned his tie undone, and...black speedo underwear?

Hermione jumped back in shock.

"Hey! I thought you liked it when I wore these?" He asked her.

"Oh, nothing, it's just..." she rubbed her belly, "the baby is acting up."

"Oh," Harry said buttoning up his shirt. "Did you iron by pants last night?"

"They're by the dresser, love." Hermione stole a kiss as he swept by her.

"If you're not feeling well today than I'm glad Ron is staying home from work."

"Why?" She demanded.

"Well, his boss gave Ron the sack yesterday. He's now unemployed." Harry sighed and put on his round glasses.

"Oh, poor Ron!" Hermione shrieked. "But he seems happy, he's singing and making breakfast."

"Oh, that's because he gets to stay home with James and Francesca."

"And teach them more dirty language?" Hermione rolled her eyes and sat on the bed corner.

"Don't worry, he'll find a job in no time. He was a prefect, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She yawned as Ron made a loud belch from downstairs. "Oh, yes, he said breakfast was done."

"Alright," Harry said as he tied his shoes. "Let's go Hermy...and my little Sirius. By the way Herm, thanks for letting me name this one after my godfather."

"I suggested it in the first place, it was better than your original idea."

"What's wrong with the name Bob?"

At the breakfast table, everyone was eating and talking about the Hogwarts reunion.

"If Malfoy comes," Harry warned, "I'm gonna beat the crap"-

"Harry James Potter!" Hermione yelled. "Don't be a bad influence on the kids."

"Yeah daddy!" Francesca said.

James was chewing with his mouth full and talking to Ron at the same time. "Hey uncle Ron! Let's play video games after breakfast!"

"Don't you boys like anything besides videogames? How about we all read together after breakfast instead?"

"BOO!" James and Ron said.

"There's many things I like," Ron continued, "I like the color orange. I like the Chudley Cannons. I like chess. And...I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! You other brothers can't deny!"

"Don't start!" Hermione begged covering her ears.

"And Hermione likes Lupin!" Ron laughed.

"DO NOT!" Hermione yelled.

Harry finished his plate and was walking towards the sink. "Oh and Hermione, I saw the newspaper on your side of the bed. Are you looking for a job? Because you know we already talked about this. I want you to stay at home and look after our babies."

"I didn't graduate from Hogwarts with the highest marks and honors to sit on my ass all day and be your housewife!" She yelled.

"Uh oh!" James yelled. "Mummy's mad! She said a bad word!"

"I'm sorry, don't repeat what mummy says," she apologized.

After breakfast and Harry had gone to work, Hermione lost the vote to reading and had to sit on the couch and read to herself while James watched Ron play video games.

"Kill that guy Uncle Ron!" James yelled while Ron was shooting an animated character on the screen.

"What are you playing?" Hermione demanded.

"Vice City," Ron said as his character hopped into a car.

Hermione watched in disgust as Ron's character picked up a hooker in the car and the car began to shake.

"Ron! What are you showing my son!"

"That's how you get more life on the game Hermione," Ron said. "If it makes you feel better I'll change the game."

"Why don't you change your name to dumbass?" Hermione suggested.

"Ooohhh! Mummy said a bad word!" Ron and James said pointing at Hermione.

After a couple of chapters in her book, Hermione began to feel very sleepy. It was a mistake to lay her head down and close her eyes. For she had no idea for the even stranger dream she was about to have.

She was in Professor Lupin's original office sitting behind his desk in his chair. She was humming to herself. Remus emerged into the room with a wicked smile plastered onto his face.

"I was hoping you'd turn up...Miss Granger."

"I was hoping you'd turn up...Remus." Hermione answered. In her dream she felt very attracted to Remus. She stood up from the chair and walked over to him.

Remus stood still as she paced towards him.

Hermione grabbed his cloak and ripped it off his body and began kissing him very heatedly. "Oh Professor! Take me!" She demanded pushing him back-first onto his desk. She crawled on top of him very catlike and began to purr.

Remus grabbed the quill nearest to him and rubbed it along Hermione's cheek.

Hermione giggled. "Oh you beast of a man!"

He continued to tickle her face and watch her giggle.

"Oh, Lupin, Lupin, Lupin, Lupin, Lupin..."

While she was still asleep, James and Ron were laughing to death as they tickled Hermione's face with a quill.

James snorted a bit too loud and woke Hermione up.

"WHY YOU LITTLE TURD PILE!" Hermione yelled at Ron.

"LUPIN! YOU BEAST OF A MAN!" Ron repeated and he laughed hysterically.

"I was sleep talking?" Hermione asked Ron. "Oh God! Ron don't tell Harry!"

"What happened? Did Lupin take off that little black speedo?"

"Shut up!" She yelled.

Why am I having these perverted stupid senseless dreams? Hermione asked herself.