Chapter Five...

I think Michael Moscovitz might like me!

Seriously. I know it's bizarre, I mean, a few weeks ago I thought it was impossible for anyone to like me, what with my ski-like feet and skyscraper height, not to mention my surfboard chest, but then Josh happened. So it could very well be true!

I know if I'd caught anyone looking in my diary, I wouldn't have been very happy. In fact, I'd have absolutely hated said person for snooping in my private life. Some people may not find entries about how nice and soft my boyfriend's golden locks are, or how sweet and smart Michael Moscovitz is, very interesting, or worthy of snooping in the first place, but I'd still be upset!

But, should I do anything about Michael? I'm dating Josh, and I shouldn't take things like that for granted. Lana did, and now she's lonely. I kind of feel bad for her sometimes, but then I remember all the things she's done to me before, and I snap out of it. So I should totally appreciate and value my position as Josh's girlfriend, and I do. I totally do, but it's just...Michael might be more my type.

I know he's a geek, and Josh made a big deal about not wanting to be seen with him, but I guess some people would call me a geek. Okay, that's an understatement. Most people would call me a geek. So should Michael and I, as geeks, band together against people like Josh? Or should I just stick with Josh and see where it goes?

He is the hottest guy in the school after all, and you don't just dump someone like that for no good reason. Although, Michael would argue that that whole photo thing at the school dance was a good enough reason to break up with him. But that's old. I can't just bring up the past and use it as a reason not to be with him, that wouldn't be fair, right?

And what was with what Michael had written in his diary? He said something about guys like Josh making things for him hard. But what was he talking about? Why would he be labeled a social leper? Michael is anything but a leper. Especially with those pretty boy good looks.

Maybe I should try to talk to him about whatever it is. He might be able to help me out with my problems too. Although, of course, I won't tell him that I think he might like me. What if I'm completely wrong about that?

And it's not as if I even have feelings for him, right? I mean, I'm totally and completely head over heels for Josh... Although he can be a superficial ass some of the time. And his hair isn't actually even all that soft, not with all of the product he lathers into it. I think he's been getting tips from those guys in Rooney. Too bad it's not working out for him as well as it works for them.

And now that I think about it, the other day, when we were strolling through Central Park, hand in hand, of course, I wanted to stop to give an old, homeless man the rest of my sandwich, but Josh pulled me away quicker than you can say, "I want Taylor Locke's hair." How's that for compassion for the underprivileged? What would Josh be like if we ended up getting married, and he had to move to Genovia? Would he support me with my plan to turn the Palace into a cat shelter once Grandmere croaks? Or would he be too busy looking at himself in the giant, ruby-encrusted mirrors that line the hallways?

I bet Michael would support something that was for the good of others.

And he wouldn't make it feel like a big chore, he'd be happy to do it.

That's it. I need to talk to him about this before my head explodes, all over my new Chanel sweater. God forbid!

"Thermopolis? Are you okay?"

I looked up from my cold sesame noodles. I'd been spacing out the whole time I've been sitting eating lunch with Michael! What a waste of time, I could have been sussing things out already!

"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you? I mean, you've been a little...quiet recently. Is everything okay?"

He sighed and reached over the table to take my hand. "Yeah, everything will be fine. I'm just going through some stuff right now."

"Anything you want to talk about?" I pushed, not removing my hand. That could be a sign, right?

"Not right now. Now I'm just enjoying being in your company." He flashed me one of his million dollar smiles.

"Okay." How do I get him to open up about what's troubling him? Or at least get him to confess his undying love for me!

"Is there anything troubling you though? You know you can always talk to me about it, of you want."

It's almost too easy.

"Yeah, actually. Lately I've been thinking of Josh and me..."

Michael grunted. "What about him?"

"Well, I'm thinking that maybe...I don't like him as much as I though I did. I mean, he can be a real ass sometimes."

"So you finally noticed," Michael said, squeezing the hand he still had hold of.

"Yeah, I'm starting to notice things now..."

"So what are you going to do about it? Try to change him?"

"No, I don't think you could ever change a person like Josh. I don't think he'd listen to me. Or he wouldn't take heed anyway."

"So...You're going to break up with him?"

Is it just my imagination, or did I just sense a note of happiness in his voice? And did I just see a smile creep along the edges of his mouth?

"I'm thinking about it. Do you think that would be a good idea?"

Now I know I'm not imagining it, he's smiling broadly. "Are you kidding? I think it'd be your best idea to date. He's not right for you, Mia, you deserve so much more. You deserve a guy who's going to support you, and cherish you, and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Everyone deserves a guy like that."

How sweet! Could he be the one to do all that? Is that what he's implying?

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Michael. You've really helped me. I just wish I could help you with whatever it is that you're having problems with right now."

He looked away and dragged his hand back. Did I say the wrong thing? I was just trying to be supportive! Like he'd been for me.

"Yeah, well, maybe another time."

I recoiled. He's obviously not ready to talk about it. "Okay, well, if you ever need to talk to someone about it, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Thermopolis. Now go break up with that loser."

"Yes, sir!" I mocked. "Do you want to...I dunno, maybe hang out later? We could celebrate my being free of Josh, or whatever."

"Sure, that'd be great."

"Okay, I'll see you later."