Chapter Seven...

I didn't dare tell Lilly about what happened with me and Michael. I'm not stupid; she'd have a cow.

When she got back from her date with Boris, we lay in bed talking about Josh and what a jerk he turned out to be. Well, she used the word jerk, I still feel bad about the whole thing. I mean, he told me he loved me! And I broke his heart! Then went and kissed another guy a few hours later! How horrible am I?

"You didn't break his heart, Mia," Lilly told me. "When someone's heart is made of stone, they are incapable of feeling the hurt. He would have just been pissed off that you got in first and dumped him. Josh isn't used to being dumped. And I bet you ten bucks, Monday morning, he'll be telling everyone it was him that broke it off with you."

"Yeah, I guess." This makes me feel slightly better. I guess I just need reassuring.

I'd been hoping to get that from Michael, but things didn't go as planned. I thought I'd read all the signs right! He did kiss me back for a while, I suppose. But he was confused about it and had to leave to think. Think about what? Either he likes me and wants to kiss me, or he doesn't! It's not that hard!

But maybe he doesn't actually like me.

I rolled over to face the wall and let out an involuntary sob.

Lilly heard it, she wasn't supposed to. "What's wrong?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"I thought he liked me!" I said, my breath catching in my throat as a tear rolled onto my pillow.

"He's a jerk, Mia. All he cares about is himself. He was only using you."

"He was?" What on Earth would Michael Moscovitz need to use me for?

"Of course he was. Don't you remember at dance, when he kissed you in front of the cameras?"

She's talking about Josh. What am I talking about? Of course she's talking about Josh! She doesn't know anything about what happened with Michael.

"Yeah," I said, playing along. "I remember."

"You just need to forget about him and move on. I bet he'll be back with Lana in no time. She's been skulking around him I've noticed."

If only I had someone to move on with.

Later

Michael woke me up in the morning. He came into Lilly's room, after Lilly had already gotten up, to "talk."

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. He's sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"Um, I'm sorry about last night. I just...I was a little confused. I didn't realise you liked me that way."

"I'm sorry," I told him. "But I just thought that you liked me."

"I do like you, Mia. But..."

No, not 'but'. I hate but.

"But what?"

He sighed and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "I don't know."

I stayed silent for a minute. Then, when I could stand it no longer, I said, "So, what now then?"

He cupped the side of my face with one hand and smiled. "How about we just see what happens?"

I nodded; that's better than nothing, right?

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and helping me up. "I'll cook you something for breakfast. Lilly said something about pancakes, you want some?"

"Sure." Not letting go of my hand until we reached the doorway of the kitchen, where Lilly was, he led me towards food.

Later

I'm not sure what to tell Lilly. Is there even anything to tell her? Michael said we'd see how things go, but that wasn't actually saying that we were dating, was it?

So should I say anything to her at all?

And what's going to happen at school tomorrow? I broke up with Josh on Saturday, and now I'm sort of seeing someone else. How's that going to make me look?

I want to talk to Michael about this, but I don't think he wants to talk about the situation; about us. Maybe I should just fly by the seat of my pants for now.

The three of us are watching Pirates of the Carribean. It was Michael's choice, no doubt because of Keira Knightly, but Lilly and I agreed. Who would turn down a movie with both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in it?

Michael is sitting in the middle, so Lilly is on the other side of him. I wonder if she'd notice if we were holding hands. Do I dare?

Oh, I dared.

Michael looked at me briefly, then looked down at the hand I'd slipped into his, and he half smiled before turning back to the screen.

At least he didn't take his hand away.

"You guys want some more popcorn?" Lilly asked, picking up the empty bowl.

I didn't really, but I wanted her to leave the room for a minute. "Sure," I replied, Michael nodded.

As soon as Lilly had left I turned to him, "You like this movie?"

"Sure," he said, not tearing his eyes from the screen. "It's good."

"I like it too." I reached over and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

He blushed and looked over at me, then back at the door Lilly had just walked out of. "Maybe we shouldn't. Lilly will come back any second." And then he folded his arms, removing his hand from mine.

What is up with that? The popcorn is still heating, you can hear the microwave! We could kiss until it beeps, then pull back!

And why does he have to take his hand away? Can he not eat with one hand? I know I can.

But maybe he's right. Lilly would no doubt notice if we were both stuffing the popcorn into our mouths with one hand. And Michael obviously doesn't want Lilly to know that anything is going on with us yet. Or ever.