Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. Plain and simple, people.
Perfect
I'm sorry.
I know that not many people think I am, but I'm sorry.
I have done things that I'm not proud of, but I don't regret them.
I can't
I know I was such an incredible bitch to Harry, but I had so much inside me. And there are things I never told anyone, but I supposed there's nothing holding me back now.
All of my emotions were coiling around me, just writhing, trying to get to the surface.
After all, I had really loved Cedric Diggory. I know we only dated from the Yule Ball up to when he died, but I really loved him.
I was so much in love with him; I was ready to marry him.
Oh, we would have waited, to marry that is, but he had already proposed.
We had already planned out our whole life.
We wanted to marry after we finished school. He was going to go into professional quidditch, I just wanted to have his children. We hadn't told anyone about our plans because we wanted to keep it our little secret.
Then he died.
Harry came out holding his body.
My only thought was that Harry had somehow done something to Cedric. After that, I don't remember anything except the chaotic panic roiling around inside me, feeling like I had to get down to that quidditch pitch and see him, or else my life would end.
I got down to the quidditch pitch
My life ended anyways.
That summer I attempted suicide
I had lost the only rock of support in my life, Cedric. I thought that if I could only get to where he was, everything would be fine again.
But my parents found me, and made me live.
It wasn't just Cedric, though.
When I first saw Harry exiting the maze with Cedric's body with him, I thought that Harry had done something to Cedric, perhaps out of jealousy, perhaps out of spite, though neither options seemed like him. My rationale was overridden by pure worry for the person I thought of as my soul mate.
I never forgave myself for that.
Harry is just so noble, so great, so kind, so brave, that he would never be able to do something like that; he would never be able to kill someone like Cedric Diggory. I do believe he can kill Lord Voldemort, but I have to believe in that unless I want to believe in my own destruction.
I tried to make it up to him the next year.
I went out with him to Hogsmeade
I kissed him
I tried to like him, I really did.
But whenever I saw his face, I would just see Cedric in his place, smiling that great smile, so full of life, and I just couldn't do it.
When my "romance" with Harry went down the drain, I tried to feel good about myself. I even dated Michael Corner.
But it didn't work.
I was trying to drown all my feelings into boys.
It didn't work.
I still loved Cedric with all my heart, and no matter how hard I tried, searching for another "the one", I couldn't find him.
The only difference between then and now is that I have gotten what I fully deserve for being such a bint all those years ago in school.
I never was the same after Cedric, and I truly am sorry for it, but I cannot regret it.
Because if I did regret my actions after Cedric died, I would have to regret ever meeting him, and I can't do that.
I'm sorry.
Perfect
I'm sorry.
I know that not many people think I am, but I'm sorry.
I have done things that I'm not proud of, but I don't regret them.
I can't
I know I was such an incredible bitch to Harry, but I had so much inside me. And there are things I never told anyone, but I supposed there's nothing holding me back now.
All of my emotions were coiling around me, just writhing, trying to get to the surface.
After all, I had really loved Cedric Diggory. I know we only dated from the Yule Ball up to when he died, but I really loved him.
I was so much in love with him; I was ready to marry him.
Oh, we would have waited, to marry that is, but he had already proposed.
We had already planned out our whole life.
We wanted to marry after we finished school. He was going to go into professional quidditch, I just wanted to have his children. We hadn't told anyone about our plans because we wanted to keep it our little secret.
Then he died.
Harry came out holding his body.
My only thought was that Harry had somehow done something to Cedric. After that, I don't remember anything except the chaotic panic roiling around inside me, feeling like I had to get down to that quidditch pitch and see him, or else my life would end.
I got down to the quidditch pitch
My life ended anyways.
That summer I attempted suicide
I had lost the only rock of support in my life, Cedric. I thought that if I could only get to where he was, everything would be fine again.
But my parents found me, and made me live.
It wasn't just Cedric, though.
When I first saw Harry exiting the maze with Cedric's body with him, I thought that Harry had done something to Cedric, perhaps out of jealousy, perhaps out of spite, though neither options seemed like him. My rationale was overridden by pure worry for the person I thought of as my soul mate.
I never forgave myself for that.
Harry is just so noble, so great, so kind, so brave, that he would never be able to do something like that; he would never be able to kill someone like Cedric Diggory. I do believe he can kill Lord Voldemort, but I have to believe in that unless I want to believe in my own destruction.
I tried to make it up to him the next year.
I went out with him to Hogsmeade
I kissed him
I tried to like him, I really did.
But whenever I saw his face, I would just see Cedric in his place, smiling that great smile, so full of life, and I just couldn't do it.
When my "romance" with Harry went down the drain, I tried to feel good about myself. I even dated Michael Corner.
But it didn't work.
I was trying to drown all my feelings into boys.
It didn't work.
I still loved Cedric with all my heart, and no matter how hard I tried, searching for another "the one", I couldn't find him.
The only difference between then and now is that I have gotten what I fully deserve for being such a bint all those years ago in school.
I never was the same after Cedric, and I truly am sorry for it, but I cannot regret it.
Because if I did regret my actions after Cedric died, I would have to regret ever meeting him, and I can't do that.
I'm sorry.