***
Well, here ya go, part 1 of SiT #4!! Lots of angst in store, and for those of you (which is pretty much everyone) who want to know what's up with Angel...time to find out! There are probably a lot of warnings I should give about this fic (as a whole, not this part), but I'll settle for saying that by a few parts into this fic you'll probably all hate me, and by the end, I may have to enter the Witness Protection Program. But I hope you will all stick with it and keep in mind that there will be a 5th (and final) fic in this series.
Anyways, thank you to all of my wonderful feedbackers. I greatly appreciate all the comments on the last part!!
~Isis
***
Title: A Small Sacrifice For Tomorrow - #4 in the 'Shadows in Time' series
Author: Isis Blue
Feedback: vagabond_angel@comcast.net
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em...though that should be quite obvious.
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: B/?, B/A, C/D, W/O, X/A
Series Summary: post-s3 (BTVS) AU…departs from canon after the s3 finale and jumps into my own universe. From there, almost everything will be different. A few characters and concepts will pop-up, but really, this doesn't relate at all to the seasons that followed s3.
Fic Summary: It's six years later and an old face is about to resurface as danger lurks.
Spoilers: The first 3 fics in the series, and anything through the end of s3 of BTVS, but mostly the end of s3, and also mild generic spoilers for BtVS & AtS later seasons
Distribution: my site (Vagabond Soul), and if you already have any of my fics, you may take this one, if not, please ask first.
Author's Notes: This is the 4rd fic in the SiT series, the first 3 can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/flyersgagne_12/sit.htm
This fic jumps six years into the future. As with the last fic, a few concepts have been taken from the actual BtVS and AtS seasons and twisted to fit the alternate reality I've created. So there will be a few things you're familiar with, but they won't be exactly the same.
Thank you: to *Stars*, my fab beta, and to everyone who has sent feedback throughout this series. You guys are the greatest!!
Warnings: very angsty, maybe a few bad words, possible character death
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 1
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~almost six years later~
"Night sweetie," Buffy whispered, placing a light kiss on her now sleeping daughter's forehead.
She carefully raised herself off the bed, not wanting to wake Ashlynn up. It had taken her long enough to get the energetic little girl to go to sleep and she really didn't want to go through it all over again. Leaning over the bed, Buffy tucked the covers in around her daughter and turned away from the bed. Instead of leaving the room and heading to her own bed, she walked over to the rocking chair in front of the window and sat down.
For a few moments, she stared out of the large window, thinking of years past before her gaze drifted back to the sleeping form of her precious baby girl. Well, she wasn't really a baby anymore. Ashlynn was almost six years old, a fact she liked to point out regularly these days. Six years old. How had the time passed so quickly? It seemed like only yesterday that Buffy had run from Sunnydale, pregnant and alone. Now she had an almost six year old daughter, a steady well-paying job, a great group of friends...she had almost everything she could ever want. But it still boggled her mind that in a few weeks they'd be having Ash's sixth birthday party.
Being a mother was more than she could have ever imagined it would be. Every single day was a learning experience. Who would have thought that a little girl could find so much trouble to get into! They'd all learned pretty quickly to keep things out of reach of the curious toddler. Of course, that was after Ash had raided the bathroom and played with Mommy and Aunt Cordelia's makeup. And then there was the oh-so-fun case of chicken pox. Poor Cordy. The former cheerleader had never had the chicken pox and had caught them from Ashlynn. That little episode had cost Buffy a trip to a spa for Cordy once she was better.
All in all, though, she loved being a mother. It was an amazing feeling to have someone love you unconditionally, and to look to you for guidance and support. Each and every turn in Ash's life had brought warmth to Buffy's heart; seeing her crawl for the first time, watching her learn to walk, teaching her to read, and all the other things that had come across their paths. She never knew what a rewarding experience it was to have a child.
The others were quite enamored with the lovable girl as well, and Ashlynn adored all her 'aunts' and 'uncles', even Lorne. Buffy's happy thoughts faltered slightly at that thought. Ash wasn't quite the normal little girl, though she wasn't exactly abnormal. She was rather intelligent for someone her age, and she seemed to possess more strength than she should, which was likely because of her parentage. The odd part was that, even at an early age, Ash appeared to grasp the concept of good and evil, and humans and demons. None of them could figure it out, but Ash just seemed to understand. She knew that Lorne was a demon, and it didn't bother her in the least. Buffy just hoped that it wasn't a prelude to anything, such as being Called as a Slayer.
If that time came though, she would find a way to deal with it. She couldn't fight fate anyway, and she had her friends to help her through anything that might come their way. When she'd left Sunnydale nearly seven years ago, Buffy could have never imagined that she would be surrounded by such wonderful people. Cordy had become one of her best friends, Doyle had also become someone who she could count on, Lorne had been a savior when he came into her life, and then there was Willow and Oz who had come back into her life years ago and remained. They were her support group, and her confidants, always there when she needed a friend, or two.
Cordy and Doyle were now 'officially' together, though they'd been 'dating' for quite a long time. Buffy couldn't help but shake her head at those two. They had a strange relationship and were always bickering with each other, but it worked for them. Cordy had recently moved upstairs to Doyle's apartment and they were now planning their wedding, a huge, all-out affair at Cordy's insistence that would take place in a few months.
Not wanting Buffy to be alone in her apartment after Cordy moved upstairs, Willow and Oz had moved in with her. The two of them had gotten married three years earlier on a trip to Vegas. Lorne had decided that the club needed some remodeling so he closed it down for two weeks and told them all to take a vacation. So they'd gone off to Vegas where Willow and Oz decided on a spur of the moment wedding. It was perfect for them, though, and Buffy couldn't have been happier.
The club was doing better than any of them could have expected. It was a huge hit among young adults, and most nights they found themselves turning away people. They'd all found their niche when it came to their jobs at the club. Oz handled all the music; Doyle dealt with the liquor; Cordy worked with the finances; Willow was solely responsible for anything computer related; Lorne oversaw everything and made sure the club met regulations; and Buffy found herself in charge of all the employees. It was a nice little thrill to have control over people, and she had a knack for giving orders. Their jobs kept them fairly busy, but the success of the club and the resulting income washed away any complaints.
There was still evil to be fought as well. As much as she wished she could have left her role as a Slayer behind, Buffy couldn't. It was part of who she was. Still, she didn't patrol nearly as much as she did in Sunnydale. Usually, she only went out two or three nights a week, and never alone. Her friends never let her slay alone, knowing she had a better chance of returning if she had backup. No one ever said it out loud, but they knew there was always a chance that Ashlynn could be left motherless. So when Buffy did patrol, they went out in groups, usually with either Cordy and Doyle, or Willow and Oz accompanying her. Most times, though, their evil fighting centered on uprisings that either Doyle or Lorne heard about through their connections.
On the surface, her life appeared perfect, but there was still a gaping hole in her heart. A hole left by the absence of her soulmate, and which had never fully healed. The ache was less these days, but all Buffy had to do was look at her blonde haired, brown eyed daughter and she'd see Angel staring back at her. It brought tears to her own eyes more than once when looking at her beautiful little girl, but she couldn't dwell on it. Angel was gone, and had been gone for much longer than they'd been together. It wouldn't do her any good to stay lost in the past.
Ashlynn was almost three when she first asked about her Father. They'd been at the park when she'd seen another girl playing with an older man. With the typical curiosity of a child, Ash had asked who the man was and why he was with the girl. It had broken Buffy's heart to explain that the man was the little girl's father. When she'd asked where her father was, Buffy couldn't hold back the tears that crept down her cheeks. She was torn about what to tell her daughter about her father.
Her first instinct had been to not say anything. Why give Ashlynn memories of a man she'd never know? But the questioning deep brown eyes of her beautiful baby girl told her she couldn't deprive her of knowing about her father. So she'd given in and told Ashlynn about Angel. It was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. All Buffy could really tell her was that her Daddy was a wonderful man named Angel and that he couldn't be with him, but that he loved her very much. Being so young, Ash had taken the words at face value.
As she got older, she asked more questions, and in time, Buffy became more comfortable answering them. Angel couldn't be there with them, but that didn't mean Ashlynn didn't deserve to know about him. Many nights, when Buffy put her daughter to bed, she would tell Ashlynn a story about her father. Given that they had not been together that long and that a lot of their time together was not child-rated, stories were often repeated. But Ash didn't seem to mind. She was happy just to hear about him.
Buffy had even given her a picture of Angel which was kept on her nightstand. It wasn't easy for her to talk about the man who'd walked away from her, but in the end, she'd do anything to make her daughter happy. And she knew that it wasn't fair to let her past interfere with Ash knowing who her father was. So she persevered and did the best she could when it came to mentioning Angel.
Sighing, Buffy pushed all thoughts about her daughter's father out of her head. The less she thought about him, the better she felt. He wasn't part of her life anymore. She'd long ago accepted that fact and moved on. It didn't matter that Ashlynn deserved to know her father, or that Angel should know he had a daughter. She couldn't change the way things were, and that was really all there was to it.
Buffy looked over at her sleeping daughter once again for a minute before realizing she, herself, needed to get to bed. She had a busy day at the club tomorrow and it would do her no good to stay up half the night. Pushing herself out of the rocking chair, Buffy was overcome by dizziness and quickly reached out to steady herself on the windowsill. Her eyes closed, waiting for the feeling to pass. When they opened again, the world had righted itself. Buffy shook her head, cursing herself for not getting enough sleep, and quietly walked out of Ashlynn's room.
Within moments of lying down in her bed, Buffy was sound asleep. Her age and active life seemed to be catching up with her quicker these days. It was the price she paid, though, for the life she led.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~somewhere in Europe~
The door slammed loudly behind him as Angel stumbled into a quaint little pub somewhere in Ireland. With slow steps, he wandered toward the bar area and plopped down onto one of the empty stools in the corner. He slouched heavily against the counter, his entire body worn and exhausted. Absently, he noticed the many cuts and abrasions on his hands, but he paid them no mind. They were a small price to pay for the battles he fought.
His night so far had been spent taking out a nest of Gur'boluck demons that had taken over an empty building a few blocks away. Nasty little buggers they were, had a tendency to try and bite. Angel frowned in distaste and glanced at the holes in his pants. Damn demons. They hadn't stood a chance, though, against the battle hardened vampire with a soul. Now, each and every one of them were buried in the forest behind their hideout, ripped to shreds by a warrior's axe.
It was the same thing every night for Angel. Fighting the good fight, ridding the earth of the demon plague. It was the only thing he could do. There was nothing else for him in this world, at least not anymore. Once upon a time there had been someone; a smiling young woman with golden blonde hair, and mesmerizing hazel eyes, but she was just a memory now. A painful reminder of who he was and what he could never have.
So he fought, night in and night out, city to city, country to country. His travels had taken him from France, to Spain, to Germany, to Italy, to China, and virtually everywhere in between. Now he found himself in Ireland, a place he hadn't been to since before the return of his soul many, many years ago. Why on earth he had to come back here, he did not know. There were so many bad memories associated with his homeland, but it seemed to be calling to him. He had to admit there was a certain comfort level being back in Ireland. Still, he probably wouldn't stay for long. He had no cause to drop down roots anywhere. That was just the way things were for him. The more he moved around, the more he fought, the easier it was to block out everything else.
Angel's brooding was slightly interrupted when he heard the stool next to him pulled out and a body haphazardly seat itself on the rickety wood. Ignoring the unwanted company, he leaned further into the shadows, content to be alone. When he heard the new person speak, though, his attention quickly snapped to his left.
"Gimme a beer, would ya?" the all too familiar accented voice shouted loudly despite the fact that the bartender was only two feet away.
Warily, Angel lifted his eyes, dreading, but knowing exactly what he would find. And he was right. If the voice hadn't given it away, the bleach blonde head would have.
"Spike?!?" he bit out in annoyance.
The blonde head whirled around at the word, eyes widening.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Spike smirked and frowned at the same time.
"What the Hell are you doing here?" Angel nearly screamed at him. He had no desire to deal with his arrogant childe.
"Fuck off, mate," Spike waved his hand at him and turned back to his beer causing Angel to roll his eyes. Same old Spike.
Deciding he might just be better off ignoring the blonde, Angel shifted away from Spike. He carelessly guzzled at his own beer, wishing he wasn't a vampire so that he could get completely wasted. Nothing like the ignorant bliss of alcohol, but it would take more than just a few beers to dull the ever-present memories in his mind.
The two sat in silence for a long while, enjoying only the company of their drinks. It wasn't until Spike reached his fourth dark brew of the late night that his attention switched back to his brooding ponce of a sire.
"Ya know, mate," he started cockily, and waited until Angel's exhausted, bleary gaze was on him. "I woulda thought you'd be blowin' in the wind by now."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Angel growled at him.
"Honestly...," Spike pondered the idea momentarily. "Yes. But, really, I'm surprised to see you sittin' 'ere."
"And why is that?" Angel asked, not entirely caring what the answer was, as he twisted on his stool to fully face the bleached wonder.
"No reason," shrugged Spike indifferently. "Jus' thought that with that bloody tormented soul of yours you wouldn't be able to go on now that your precious blondie's gone."
Angel's body stiffened instantly. "What are you talking about?"
His childe went on as if Angel hadn't spoken. "I figured you'd have taken the first sunrise train to Hell after the little Slayer bit the big one. Now, really, with you still being here, unfortunately, what does that say about that fuzzy love crap between you two?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Angel roared, leaping to his feet and pulling Spike off his seat by the lapels of his worn duster. Spike couldn't be saying...no it wasn't possible! It couldn't be...
"Easy on the coat, mate! It's real leather!" the blonde vampire shoved Angel away from him.
"I'm going to ask this one more time, boy," Angel spoke clearly, fighting off the cold that was settling deep in his soul. "WHAT are you talking about?"
"Settle down you bleeding ponce," Spike sat back down on his stool, his eyes though, focused on Angel, reading the frightened worry. "You don't know do you? Such a shame about her. She had quite a scrumptious little body, for a Slayer an all."
"Spike!" Angel growled threateningly.
The blonde stared at Angel for a minute. "You really don't know do you?"
"KNOW WHAT?" Angel shouted in frustrating, his worry increasing ten-fold. He couldn't even think what Spike's words were meaning.
"I paid a little visit to good old Sunnyhell last year," Spike began, enjoying the slow torture of his sire. "Ran into a feisty brunette. Imagine my surprise to find that she was a Slayer. Pity too. Bet she woulda been a good screw."
"A Slayer?" Angel questioned in bewilderment. Another Slayer? His body wilted, falling carelessly onto his stool.
"Surprising, I know," Spike replied, not caring in the least about the effect his words were having. "Disappointment too. I was looking forward to a good tumble you're your little Fluffy."
"But....no," the last word came out in a harsh whisper. It wasn't possible. She couldn't be gone. All these years he'd told himself that she was happy, living the life she deserved. She couldn't be...no, it just wasn't possible.
"So I asked the feisty brunette where Blondie was," Spike continued disinterestedly. "Was told she's been gone for almost seven years."
"No...," Angel pushed away from the bar, knocking over his stool. "No!"
He staggered backwards a few steps, not hearing another word out of his childe's mouth. The only thing he could focus on was the word 'gone.' She was...no! No! It wasn't possible.
Angel turned and fled from the bar, running as fast as his feet would take him. He ran until his body could take no more, collapsing to his knees on the dirt covered ground somewhere.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" his anguished howl sounded loudly through the stark night.
A long while later, face wet with tears, Angel found himself still on his knees, praying to anyone that would listen that it wasn't true. Buffy couldn't be...dead. The word caused a strangled cry to escape his lips. She couldn't be. Just couldn't be. That wasn't what was supposed to happen! She was supposed to be happy!
His eyes flashed amber as the unwanted thought of some vicious beast ending her life entered his mind. No! He pushed the idea from his head. He wouldn't accept it. She wasn't dead! He would have known it if she had...died.
Angel pushed himself to his feet unsteadily. He had to know. All this time he'd gone on believing she was living a happy life. Now...he had to know. And if it was true...if she was really...gone, he'd find the son of a bitch who'd done it and tear him limb from limb until there was nothing left. Maybe throw in a few weeks of torture first. But first, he had to know.
It was time to go home.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!
Well, here ya go, part 1 of SiT #4!! Lots of angst in store, and for those of you (which is pretty much everyone) who want to know what's up with Angel...time to find out! There are probably a lot of warnings I should give about this fic (as a whole, not this part), but I'll settle for saying that by a few parts into this fic you'll probably all hate me, and by the end, I may have to enter the Witness Protection Program. But I hope you will all stick with it and keep in mind that there will be a 5th (and final) fic in this series.
Anyways, thank you to all of my wonderful feedbackers. I greatly appreciate all the comments on the last part!!
~Isis
***
Title: A Small Sacrifice For Tomorrow - #4 in the 'Shadows in Time' series
Author: Isis Blue
Feedback: vagabond_angel@comcast.net
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em...though that should be quite obvious.
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: B/?, B/A, C/D, W/O, X/A
Series Summary: post-s3 (BTVS) AU…departs from canon after the s3 finale and jumps into my own universe. From there, almost everything will be different. A few characters and concepts will pop-up, but really, this doesn't relate at all to the seasons that followed s3.
Fic Summary: It's six years later and an old face is about to resurface as danger lurks.
Spoilers: The first 3 fics in the series, and anything through the end of s3 of BTVS, but mostly the end of s3, and also mild generic spoilers for BtVS & AtS later seasons
Distribution: my site (Vagabond Soul), and if you already have any of my fics, you may take this one, if not, please ask first.
Author's Notes: This is the 4rd fic in the SiT series, the first 3 can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/flyersgagne_12/sit.htm
This fic jumps six years into the future. As with the last fic, a few concepts have been taken from the actual BtVS and AtS seasons and twisted to fit the alternate reality I've created. So there will be a few things you're familiar with, but they won't be exactly the same.
Thank you: to *Stars*, my fab beta, and to everyone who has sent feedback throughout this series. You guys are the greatest!!
Warnings: very angsty, maybe a few bad words, possible character death
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 1
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~almost six years later~
"Night sweetie," Buffy whispered, placing a light kiss on her now sleeping daughter's forehead.
She carefully raised herself off the bed, not wanting to wake Ashlynn up. It had taken her long enough to get the energetic little girl to go to sleep and she really didn't want to go through it all over again. Leaning over the bed, Buffy tucked the covers in around her daughter and turned away from the bed. Instead of leaving the room and heading to her own bed, she walked over to the rocking chair in front of the window and sat down.
For a few moments, she stared out of the large window, thinking of years past before her gaze drifted back to the sleeping form of her precious baby girl. Well, she wasn't really a baby anymore. Ashlynn was almost six years old, a fact she liked to point out regularly these days. Six years old. How had the time passed so quickly? It seemed like only yesterday that Buffy had run from Sunnydale, pregnant and alone. Now she had an almost six year old daughter, a steady well-paying job, a great group of friends...she had almost everything she could ever want. But it still boggled her mind that in a few weeks they'd be having Ash's sixth birthday party.
Being a mother was more than she could have ever imagined it would be. Every single day was a learning experience. Who would have thought that a little girl could find so much trouble to get into! They'd all learned pretty quickly to keep things out of reach of the curious toddler. Of course, that was after Ash had raided the bathroom and played with Mommy and Aunt Cordelia's makeup. And then there was the oh-so-fun case of chicken pox. Poor Cordy. The former cheerleader had never had the chicken pox and had caught them from Ashlynn. That little episode had cost Buffy a trip to a spa for Cordy once she was better.
All in all, though, she loved being a mother. It was an amazing feeling to have someone love you unconditionally, and to look to you for guidance and support. Each and every turn in Ash's life had brought warmth to Buffy's heart; seeing her crawl for the first time, watching her learn to walk, teaching her to read, and all the other things that had come across their paths. She never knew what a rewarding experience it was to have a child.
The others were quite enamored with the lovable girl as well, and Ashlynn adored all her 'aunts' and 'uncles', even Lorne. Buffy's happy thoughts faltered slightly at that thought. Ash wasn't quite the normal little girl, though she wasn't exactly abnormal. She was rather intelligent for someone her age, and she seemed to possess more strength than she should, which was likely because of her parentage. The odd part was that, even at an early age, Ash appeared to grasp the concept of good and evil, and humans and demons. None of them could figure it out, but Ash just seemed to understand. She knew that Lorne was a demon, and it didn't bother her in the least. Buffy just hoped that it wasn't a prelude to anything, such as being Called as a Slayer.
If that time came though, she would find a way to deal with it. She couldn't fight fate anyway, and she had her friends to help her through anything that might come their way. When she'd left Sunnydale nearly seven years ago, Buffy could have never imagined that she would be surrounded by such wonderful people. Cordy had become one of her best friends, Doyle had also become someone who she could count on, Lorne had been a savior when he came into her life, and then there was Willow and Oz who had come back into her life years ago and remained. They were her support group, and her confidants, always there when she needed a friend, or two.
Cordy and Doyle were now 'officially' together, though they'd been 'dating' for quite a long time. Buffy couldn't help but shake her head at those two. They had a strange relationship and were always bickering with each other, but it worked for them. Cordy had recently moved upstairs to Doyle's apartment and they were now planning their wedding, a huge, all-out affair at Cordy's insistence that would take place in a few months.
Not wanting Buffy to be alone in her apartment after Cordy moved upstairs, Willow and Oz had moved in with her. The two of them had gotten married three years earlier on a trip to Vegas. Lorne had decided that the club needed some remodeling so he closed it down for two weeks and told them all to take a vacation. So they'd gone off to Vegas where Willow and Oz decided on a spur of the moment wedding. It was perfect for them, though, and Buffy couldn't have been happier.
The club was doing better than any of them could have expected. It was a huge hit among young adults, and most nights they found themselves turning away people. They'd all found their niche when it came to their jobs at the club. Oz handled all the music; Doyle dealt with the liquor; Cordy worked with the finances; Willow was solely responsible for anything computer related; Lorne oversaw everything and made sure the club met regulations; and Buffy found herself in charge of all the employees. It was a nice little thrill to have control over people, and she had a knack for giving orders. Their jobs kept them fairly busy, but the success of the club and the resulting income washed away any complaints.
There was still evil to be fought as well. As much as she wished she could have left her role as a Slayer behind, Buffy couldn't. It was part of who she was. Still, she didn't patrol nearly as much as she did in Sunnydale. Usually, she only went out two or three nights a week, and never alone. Her friends never let her slay alone, knowing she had a better chance of returning if she had backup. No one ever said it out loud, but they knew there was always a chance that Ashlynn could be left motherless. So when Buffy did patrol, they went out in groups, usually with either Cordy and Doyle, or Willow and Oz accompanying her. Most times, though, their evil fighting centered on uprisings that either Doyle or Lorne heard about through their connections.
On the surface, her life appeared perfect, but there was still a gaping hole in her heart. A hole left by the absence of her soulmate, and which had never fully healed. The ache was less these days, but all Buffy had to do was look at her blonde haired, brown eyed daughter and she'd see Angel staring back at her. It brought tears to her own eyes more than once when looking at her beautiful little girl, but she couldn't dwell on it. Angel was gone, and had been gone for much longer than they'd been together. It wouldn't do her any good to stay lost in the past.
Ashlynn was almost three when she first asked about her Father. They'd been at the park when she'd seen another girl playing with an older man. With the typical curiosity of a child, Ash had asked who the man was and why he was with the girl. It had broken Buffy's heart to explain that the man was the little girl's father. When she'd asked where her father was, Buffy couldn't hold back the tears that crept down her cheeks. She was torn about what to tell her daughter about her father.
Her first instinct had been to not say anything. Why give Ashlynn memories of a man she'd never know? But the questioning deep brown eyes of her beautiful baby girl told her she couldn't deprive her of knowing about her father. So she'd given in and told Ashlynn about Angel. It was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. All Buffy could really tell her was that her Daddy was a wonderful man named Angel and that he couldn't be with him, but that he loved her very much. Being so young, Ash had taken the words at face value.
As she got older, she asked more questions, and in time, Buffy became more comfortable answering them. Angel couldn't be there with them, but that didn't mean Ashlynn didn't deserve to know about him. Many nights, when Buffy put her daughter to bed, she would tell Ashlynn a story about her father. Given that they had not been together that long and that a lot of their time together was not child-rated, stories were often repeated. But Ash didn't seem to mind. She was happy just to hear about him.
Buffy had even given her a picture of Angel which was kept on her nightstand. It wasn't easy for her to talk about the man who'd walked away from her, but in the end, she'd do anything to make her daughter happy. And she knew that it wasn't fair to let her past interfere with Ash knowing who her father was. So she persevered and did the best she could when it came to mentioning Angel.
Sighing, Buffy pushed all thoughts about her daughter's father out of her head. The less she thought about him, the better she felt. He wasn't part of her life anymore. She'd long ago accepted that fact and moved on. It didn't matter that Ashlynn deserved to know her father, or that Angel should know he had a daughter. She couldn't change the way things were, and that was really all there was to it.
Buffy looked over at her sleeping daughter once again for a minute before realizing she, herself, needed to get to bed. She had a busy day at the club tomorrow and it would do her no good to stay up half the night. Pushing herself out of the rocking chair, Buffy was overcome by dizziness and quickly reached out to steady herself on the windowsill. Her eyes closed, waiting for the feeling to pass. When they opened again, the world had righted itself. Buffy shook her head, cursing herself for not getting enough sleep, and quietly walked out of Ashlynn's room.
Within moments of lying down in her bed, Buffy was sound asleep. Her age and active life seemed to be catching up with her quicker these days. It was the price she paid, though, for the life she led.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~somewhere in Europe~
The door slammed loudly behind him as Angel stumbled into a quaint little pub somewhere in Ireland. With slow steps, he wandered toward the bar area and plopped down onto one of the empty stools in the corner. He slouched heavily against the counter, his entire body worn and exhausted. Absently, he noticed the many cuts and abrasions on his hands, but he paid them no mind. They were a small price to pay for the battles he fought.
His night so far had been spent taking out a nest of Gur'boluck demons that had taken over an empty building a few blocks away. Nasty little buggers they were, had a tendency to try and bite. Angel frowned in distaste and glanced at the holes in his pants. Damn demons. They hadn't stood a chance, though, against the battle hardened vampire with a soul. Now, each and every one of them were buried in the forest behind their hideout, ripped to shreds by a warrior's axe.
It was the same thing every night for Angel. Fighting the good fight, ridding the earth of the demon plague. It was the only thing he could do. There was nothing else for him in this world, at least not anymore. Once upon a time there had been someone; a smiling young woman with golden blonde hair, and mesmerizing hazel eyes, but she was just a memory now. A painful reminder of who he was and what he could never have.
So he fought, night in and night out, city to city, country to country. His travels had taken him from France, to Spain, to Germany, to Italy, to China, and virtually everywhere in between. Now he found himself in Ireland, a place he hadn't been to since before the return of his soul many, many years ago. Why on earth he had to come back here, he did not know. There were so many bad memories associated with his homeland, but it seemed to be calling to him. He had to admit there was a certain comfort level being back in Ireland. Still, he probably wouldn't stay for long. He had no cause to drop down roots anywhere. That was just the way things were for him. The more he moved around, the more he fought, the easier it was to block out everything else.
Angel's brooding was slightly interrupted when he heard the stool next to him pulled out and a body haphazardly seat itself on the rickety wood. Ignoring the unwanted company, he leaned further into the shadows, content to be alone. When he heard the new person speak, though, his attention quickly snapped to his left.
"Gimme a beer, would ya?" the all too familiar accented voice shouted loudly despite the fact that the bartender was only two feet away.
Warily, Angel lifted his eyes, dreading, but knowing exactly what he would find. And he was right. If the voice hadn't given it away, the bleach blonde head would have.
"Spike?!?" he bit out in annoyance.
The blonde head whirled around at the word, eyes widening.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Spike smirked and frowned at the same time.
"What the Hell are you doing here?" Angel nearly screamed at him. He had no desire to deal with his arrogant childe.
"Fuck off, mate," Spike waved his hand at him and turned back to his beer causing Angel to roll his eyes. Same old Spike.
Deciding he might just be better off ignoring the blonde, Angel shifted away from Spike. He carelessly guzzled at his own beer, wishing he wasn't a vampire so that he could get completely wasted. Nothing like the ignorant bliss of alcohol, but it would take more than just a few beers to dull the ever-present memories in his mind.
The two sat in silence for a long while, enjoying only the company of their drinks. It wasn't until Spike reached his fourth dark brew of the late night that his attention switched back to his brooding ponce of a sire.
"Ya know, mate," he started cockily, and waited until Angel's exhausted, bleary gaze was on him. "I woulda thought you'd be blowin' in the wind by now."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Angel growled at him.
"Honestly...," Spike pondered the idea momentarily. "Yes. But, really, I'm surprised to see you sittin' 'ere."
"And why is that?" Angel asked, not entirely caring what the answer was, as he twisted on his stool to fully face the bleached wonder.
"No reason," shrugged Spike indifferently. "Jus' thought that with that bloody tormented soul of yours you wouldn't be able to go on now that your precious blondie's gone."
Angel's body stiffened instantly. "What are you talking about?"
His childe went on as if Angel hadn't spoken. "I figured you'd have taken the first sunrise train to Hell after the little Slayer bit the big one. Now, really, with you still being here, unfortunately, what does that say about that fuzzy love crap between you two?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Angel roared, leaping to his feet and pulling Spike off his seat by the lapels of his worn duster. Spike couldn't be saying...no it wasn't possible! It couldn't be...
"Easy on the coat, mate! It's real leather!" the blonde vampire shoved Angel away from him.
"I'm going to ask this one more time, boy," Angel spoke clearly, fighting off the cold that was settling deep in his soul. "WHAT are you talking about?"
"Settle down you bleeding ponce," Spike sat back down on his stool, his eyes though, focused on Angel, reading the frightened worry. "You don't know do you? Such a shame about her. She had quite a scrumptious little body, for a Slayer an all."
"Spike!" Angel growled threateningly.
The blonde stared at Angel for a minute. "You really don't know do you?"
"KNOW WHAT?" Angel shouted in frustrating, his worry increasing ten-fold. He couldn't even think what Spike's words were meaning.
"I paid a little visit to good old Sunnyhell last year," Spike began, enjoying the slow torture of his sire. "Ran into a feisty brunette. Imagine my surprise to find that she was a Slayer. Pity too. Bet she woulda been a good screw."
"A Slayer?" Angel questioned in bewilderment. Another Slayer? His body wilted, falling carelessly onto his stool.
"Surprising, I know," Spike replied, not caring in the least about the effect his words were having. "Disappointment too. I was looking forward to a good tumble you're your little Fluffy."
"But....no," the last word came out in a harsh whisper. It wasn't possible. She couldn't be gone. All these years he'd told himself that she was happy, living the life she deserved. She couldn't be...no, it just wasn't possible.
"So I asked the feisty brunette where Blondie was," Spike continued disinterestedly. "Was told she's been gone for almost seven years."
"No...," Angel pushed away from the bar, knocking over his stool. "No!"
He staggered backwards a few steps, not hearing another word out of his childe's mouth. The only thing he could focus on was the word 'gone.' She was...no! No! It wasn't possible.
Angel turned and fled from the bar, running as fast as his feet would take him. He ran until his body could take no more, collapsing to his knees on the dirt covered ground somewhere.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" his anguished howl sounded loudly through the stark night.
A long while later, face wet with tears, Angel found himself still on his knees, praying to anyone that would listen that it wasn't true. Buffy couldn't be...dead. The word caused a strangled cry to escape his lips. She couldn't be. Just couldn't be. That wasn't what was supposed to happen! She was supposed to be happy!
His eyes flashed amber as the unwanted thought of some vicious beast ending her life entered his mind. No! He pushed the idea from his head. He wouldn't accept it. She wasn't dead! He would have known it if she had...died.
Angel pushed himself to his feet unsteadily. He had to know. All this time he'd gone on believing she was living a happy life. Now...he had to know. And if it was true...if she was really...gone, he'd find the son of a bitch who'd done it and tear him limb from limb until there was nothing left. Maybe throw in a few weeks of torture first. But first, he had to know.
It was time to go home.
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TBC!