***
Part 2 of SiT #4 for your reading enjoyment *g* Umm...nothing else to say today.
Thank you to everyone who sent feedback on Part 1. All of your kind words are greatly appreciated!
Cliff (as usual).
~Isis
***
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Part 2
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~several days later~
Standing in the doorway to Buffy's room, Willow peered in hoping to find Buffy awake. Actually, she wasn't sure if she wanted Buffy to be awake or not, because she wasn't sure she had the nerve to tell her what it was she was here for. She honestly didn't know how her friend was going to handle the information she just found out. Still, she had to tell her, it was the right thing to do.
Buffy was in fact awake, standing in front of her full length mirror wearing only panties and a bra. The sight would have made Willow blush if she hadn't gotten caught up looking at the same thing Buffy appeared to be studying. Trailing down the blonde's back and twisting around her side was an ugly, raised scar about half an inch wide. A slight tremor of terror rippled through Willow as she saw the highly visible mark.
Unlike other wounds, this one had never faded having been too severe to be fully healed by the Slayer's advanced powers. It would likely forever be a reminder of the battle they fought almost two years earlier. An old warehouse had been taken over by a group of Cystyic demons who had a penchant for feeding on the flesh of homeless people. Lorne had heard there were at least eight of them living in the warehouse so they had come to the conclusion that they would all be needed to take them out.
The demons weren't actually that tough, but unfortunately, neither Doyle nor Lorne had been informed that the demons had two minions each, raising the total number of demons to twenty-four. Upon realizing this after their arrival at the warehouse, the group had been totally thrown off. Buffy and Doyle immediately went after the Cystyic demons while Cordy, Willow and Oz tackled the vampire minions (Lorne was home with Ashlynn).
Things had been going okay until Doyle was thrown across the room and knocked unconscious. The two remaining demon leaders ganged up on Buffy and one of them slashed at her from behind with a dagger, deeply shredding her skin from the center of her back and down around her side. To her credit, Buffy kept fighting, managing to kill both demons and helping with the remaining vamps.
Once the battle was over, Buffy collapsed, blood quickly pooling around her body. If it hadn't been for Tara, who'd accompanied them in case magic was needed, Buffy may not have made it. She performed some type of healing spell to stem the blood flow until they could get her to the hospital. The Slayer survived, for which Willow was immensely grateful, but still bore the mark of that fight. The others hadn't escaped injury either. Oz had broken his wrist, Doyle received a concussion, and Cordy had been pushed into a piece of exposed metal, cutting her arm and requiring sixteen stitches plus tetanus boosters.
Willow knew Buffy was happy to have made it through the battle, but she also knew that the lasting mark on her skin bothered her. It was just another reminder of the destiny she lived, but never asked for. She never complained about it, though, just accepted that the scar would always be there.
Breaking out of her reverie, Willow took a deep breath, remembering what she'd come for, and knocked on the door. Buffy startled at the sound and looked up to see Willow standing in the doorway. Remembering that she was almost naked, Buffy quickly pulled on her robe.
"Sorry," Willow blushed, saying nothing about seeing Buffy looking at the scar.
"It's okay," Buffy shrugged nonchalantly. "We're both girls. I have the same parts you do. Come on in."
Willow walked into the room and took a seat on the Slayer's bed. "Where's Ashlynn?"
"Upstairs with Cordy and Doyle. She wanted to play dress-up with Cordy," Buffy rolled her eyes, wondering if it was smart to let her daughter play dress-up with a fashion princess. "So what's up?"
Averting her eyes, Willow pulled at the hem of her shirt. "Oh...umm...well..."
"Just spit it out, Will," Buffy sat down next to her friend, growing slightly nervous.
Willow took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Buffy's eyes. "Oz talked to his parents on the phone today. They, umm,...they said that...that your Mom-."
"What about my Mom?" the blonde interrupted sharply.
"Buffy," Willow placed a hand on Buffy's arm. "She was in a car accident last week."
"What?" she whispered hoarsely, feeling tears sting her eyes. "But...but...she's okay right?"
"She...," her eyes closed for a second before continuing. "It was a head on collision with a drunk driver. She didn't make it. They said she died instantly from the impact."
"No!" Buffy cried out, her tears now falling freely. "No...s-she can't be dead!"
"I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow pulled the sobbing Slayer into her arms.
"She c-can't be d-dead," Buffy mumbled against Willow's chest. It didn't matter that they hadn't spoken in nearly seven years. She was still her mother, and even though they'd parted badly, Buffy still loved her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, the entire group was sitting around in Buffy, Willow and Oz's living room in silence. No one knew what to say to the distraught Slayer. They were aware that Buffy and her Mother were not speaking and hadn't seen each other since she left Sunnydale, but they knew it still had to be hard for her to hear about her death.
"Okay," Willow announced, looking up from her laptop. "I made you reservations to fly to LA."
"Good, thanks Willow," answered Buffy softly, wiping at her eyes.
Willow sat back against the couch, "are you sure you don't want us to come too?"
"I'm sure," Buffy nodded. "You've got that Wiccan thing to go to with Tara this weekend, and I know she's excited for you to go with her."
"Okay, but I wish I could go with you," Willow sighed, reaching for Oz's hand.
"I know, but it's okay. Plus Cordy and Doyle will be there with me," Buffy yawned after she finished speaking.
"And we're taking Ashlynn," Cordy chipped in, reminding them that Buffy wanted to have her daughter with her.
"Why don't you go get some sleep, Sunshine," Lorne placed a comforting hand on her shoulder from where he stood behind the couch. "You're flight leaves early tomorrow."
"Okay," Buffy agreed, standing up from the sofa. "I'll see you guys in the morning."
The Slayer walked numbly out of the room, leaving her friends to stare sadly at her back. Each wondered why it was that Buffy always had to deal with such tragic events in her life. It seemed as though fate was constantly testing her with new obstacles. They knew she'd make it through this, but they also knew it had to be difficult for her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean~
Angel paced restlessly around the small cabin of the plane. If he hadn't been so preoccupied with thoughts of Buffy, he would have been petrified about being on an airplane, but he hadn't given a second thought to the first time experience. Planes and vampires usually weren't things that went together due to the sunlight issue, but he felt it was necessary in this instance. He needed to get to Sunnydale, and he needed to get there quickly.
It had taken many, many favors, and digging into finances he hadn't touched in a very long time to get passage on the small plane. Thankfully, his deeds fighting demons had made him a few friends and he was able to find someone to fly him to the States, and then to the small airport in Sunnydale. The fact that it was a small private plane allowed him to make sure coming into contact with sunlight wasn't a problem.
So now he was pacing back and forth across the floor, waiting anxiously for their arrival in New York. They would refuel the plane there, and unfortunately stay for a day while the pilot dealt with some other business. Then they would begin the trek to Sunnydale. For Angel, it seemed like a never-ending journey even though they'd only left Ireland a few hours earlier.
He couldn't get his mind off of Buffy and what Spike had told him. Seven years. That would mean that he had only been gone a couple months when she... No! He wouldn't accept that. He wouldn't accept it because it wasn't true. She wasn't dead. She was alive. Spike was lying, just trying to get a rise out of him. There was no possible way that his Buffy could be dead.
Angel tiredly leaned his head against the wall of the plane, repeating over and over to himself that Buffy was in fact alive. He conjured up a mental vision of her smiling, walking in the sun with a loving husband on one side and a beautiful little girl on the other. The happy fantasy caused a different sort of anguish to ripple through his body.
He'd left her so that she could have a real life, one with sunlight, and family, and someone to love her, but the very thought of her having that with anyone but him shattered his already fractured heart. Even though they'd been apart for so long, he still loved her with every fiber of his being, and even if all he wanted was for her to be happy, it still hurt beyond words. If he had to choose between her having a life with someone else, and her being dead, it was an easy pick. He'd rather see her smiling in the arms of another, than as a cold, lifeless body, buried and forgotten in the ground.
His fist banged loudly against the solid metal of the plane. He wouldn't accept that she was dead. In the back of his mind, though, he knew it was a real possibility. She was the Slayer after all, fighting night after night. There was always a risk, always the chance that she'd not survive her next battle. Buffy was strong, though. She'd beaten the odds more than once. For now, he would hold on to that knowledge.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~Sunnydale~
Inside the rental car, Buffy tiredly leaned her head against the window, wishing that this day would end and that she was back in her home in Seattle. Being in Sunnydale was taxing enough on its own, but being here because of her Mother's death seemed to push the emotional and physical strain to another level. They'd only been in town for about twelve hours, but to Buffy it felt ten times longer.
After arriving in Los Angeles, Doyle had gotten them a rental car and driven the four of them to Sunnydale. Once there, Buffy hadn't really known what to do. She hadn't really thought about what she would do once she returned to her former home. Eventually, they'd decided to go to Joyce's house for lack of anything else to do.
At the house, the group had encountered Buffy's Aunt, Joyce's sister, who was in town dealing with the aftermath of the accident. Her reception of Buffy and her friends had been cold to say the least. Obviously, she was well aware of all that had occurred between Buffy and Joyce. At least she hadn't kicked them out.
The rest of the morning and afternoon they spent going through the house, sorting through what would be kept and what would be thrown away or given to charity. Joyce's sister had already gone through much of the house, but they'd finished up the rest while Buffy was there. It was surreal to the blonde headed Slayer, being in her old house with her Mother not there, knowing she'd never be there again. The family pictures and mementos brought tears to her eyes.
Not for the first time, Buffy found herself wishing that she'd tried to work things out with her Mom. Maybe if she'd sent her a letter, or called, they could have repaired their relationship. Maybe...just maybe...but now it was too late. She'd never have the chance to mend what had been painfully broken years before. Her Mother would never again be part of her life, Ashlynn would never get to know her grandmother, and Joyce would never meet her granddaughter.
Buffy supposed that all those sayings about how you never realize something until it's too late were true. Since hearing of her Mother's death, she'd been filled with regrets. Not over what she'd done, and not over her refusal of her Mom's demands, but because she'd never tried to contact Joyce after leaving. Seven long years and she'd let the rift between them remain. Maybe they wouldn't have been able to work out their differences, but at least she would have tried. Now, she would never know. Now, it was too late.
Wiping a tear off her cheek, Buffy looked out the window at the cemetery they were approaching. Joyce's funeral and memorial had been a few days earlier, but Buffy wanted to visit the grave site. If she'd known before hand, she would have come for the funeral, but she hadn't know till yesterday so she would have to settle for visiting the grave.
"We're here," Doyle broke the complete silence inside the car.
The sound jolted Buffy out of her half-asleep daze and she raised her head off the window, taking a deep breath in the process. "Thanks."
"Do you want us to come with you?" Cordy asked in a whisper, turning to face Buffy in the back seat.
"No. I...I-I want to go alone," Buffy ran a hand through her hair and started to open the car door.
"What about Ash?" Doyle nodded his head to the little girl.
Buffy looked down at her sleeping daughter for a moment and shook her head. "Let her sleep, she's had a long day."
"Ok, we'll be here if you need us," Cordy squeezed her hand sympathetically.
Smiling faintly, Buffy climbed out of the car, smoothing down her skirt for no reason other than to give her hands something to do. Hesitantly, she walked toward where she was told the grave rested. Her hands trembled as she neared the place where the woman who had given birth to her would forever rest. Within seconds, the light granite headstone was right in front of her, making her face the harsh reality of death.
Step by small step, she approached large stone until she stood right in front of it. Her eyes closed as a wave of nausea swirled deep down in her stomach. Opening them again, Buffy knelt down in front of the grave. Tears falling, she placed the bouquet of white roses down onto the grass. With a shaky hand, she reached up to touch the cold stone that bore her Mother's name.
"Hi Mom," she whispered brokenly, her fingers tracing the lettering on the headstone.
"I wish I knew what to say," she began, leaning back on her heals. "I'm sorry we never got to make things right. I-I never stopped loving you. Even though we haven't talked for seven years, you were always my Mother. I can't apologize for what happened because I don't regret having my daughter, but I wish you could have been a part of our lives."
"I had a little girl, Mom," Buffy smiled at the thought of her daughter. "She's beautiful, and smart. I never thought being a Mother could be like this. You would have loved her. I know you would have. I told her about you. I wanted her to know who you were. There's a picture of you and me together in her room."
"I know we had our problems, Mom, but I know you did the best you could. I wasn't the easiest kid to deal with. And the Slayer stuff didn't make things any better. I wish I could have ignored it and been the daughter you wanted, but I did what I had to do. I hope that you understand that," she paused, taking a moment to calm herself. "I never hated you for all the bad stuff."
She kissed her fingers and placed them over the scripted name. "I love you, Mommy."
Rising from her spot, a wave of dizziness stuttered her steps. Buffy reached up and grasped at her head, willing the spinning to stop. After breathing in a few deep lungfuls of air, the sensation eased away. Taking one last look at the grave, she turned and began to walk away when an all too familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.
"I didn't think you had the nerve to show up here."
Buffy whirled around, immediately wishing she hadn't as the dizziness returned.
"Xander?"
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!
Part 2 of SiT #4 for your reading enjoyment *g* Umm...nothing else to say today.
Thank you to everyone who sent feedback on Part 1. All of your kind words are greatly appreciated!
Cliff (as usual).
~Isis
***
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Part 2
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~several days later~
Standing in the doorway to Buffy's room, Willow peered in hoping to find Buffy awake. Actually, she wasn't sure if she wanted Buffy to be awake or not, because she wasn't sure she had the nerve to tell her what it was she was here for. She honestly didn't know how her friend was going to handle the information she just found out. Still, she had to tell her, it was the right thing to do.
Buffy was in fact awake, standing in front of her full length mirror wearing only panties and a bra. The sight would have made Willow blush if she hadn't gotten caught up looking at the same thing Buffy appeared to be studying. Trailing down the blonde's back and twisting around her side was an ugly, raised scar about half an inch wide. A slight tremor of terror rippled through Willow as she saw the highly visible mark.
Unlike other wounds, this one had never faded having been too severe to be fully healed by the Slayer's advanced powers. It would likely forever be a reminder of the battle they fought almost two years earlier. An old warehouse had been taken over by a group of Cystyic demons who had a penchant for feeding on the flesh of homeless people. Lorne had heard there were at least eight of them living in the warehouse so they had come to the conclusion that they would all be needed to take them out.
The demons weren't actually that tough, but unfortunately, neither Doyle nor Lorne had been informed that the demons had two minions each, raising the total number of demons to twenty-four. Upon realizing this after their arrival at the warehouse, the group had been totally thrown off. Buffy and Doyle immediately went after the Cystyic demons while Cordy, Willow and Oz tackled the vampire minions (Lorne was home with Ashlynn).
Things had been going okay until Doyle was thrown across the room and knocked unconscious. The two remaining demon leaders ganged up on Buffy and one of them slashed at her from behind with a dagger, deeply shredding her skin from the center of her back and down around her side. To her credit, Buffy kept fighting, managing to kill both demons and helping with the remaining vamps.
Once the battle was over, Buffy collapsed, blood quickly pooling around her body. If it hadn't been for Tara, who'd accompanied them in case magic was needed, Buffy may not have made it. She performed some type of healing spell to stem the blood flow until they could get her to the hospital. The Slayer survived, for which Willow was immensely grateful, but still bore the mark of that fight. The others hadn't escaped injury either. Oz had broken his wrist, Doyle received a concussion, and Cordy had been pushed into a piece of exposed metal, cutting her arm and requiring sixteen stitches plus tetanus boosters.
Willow knew Buffy was happy to have made it through the battle, but she also knew that the lasting mark on her skin bothered her. It was just another reminder of the destiny she lived, but never asked for. She never complained about it, though, just accepted that the scar would always be there.
Breaking out of her reverie, Willow took a deep breath, remembering what she'd come for, and knocked on the door. Buffy startled at the sound and looked up to see Willow standing in the doorway. Remembering that she was almost naked, Buffy quickly pulled on her robe.
"Sorry," Willow blushed, saying nothing about seeing Buffy looking at the scar.
"It's okay," Buffy shrugged nonchalantly. "We're both girls. I have the same parts you do. Come on in."
Willow walked into the room and took a seat on the Slayer's bed. "Where's Ashlynn?"
"Upstairs with Cordy and Doyle. She wanted to play dress-up with Cordy," Buffy rolled her eyes, wondering if it was smart to let her daughter play dress-up with a fashion princess. "So what's up?"
Averting her eyes, Willow pulled at the hem of her shirt. "Oh...umm...well..."
"Just spit it out, Will," Buffy sat down next to her friend, growing slightly nervous.
Willow took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Buffy's eyes. "Oz talked to his parents on the phone today. They, umm,...they said that...that your Mom-."
"What about my Mom?" the blonde interrupted sharply.
"Buffy," Willow placed a hand on Buffy's arm. "She was in a car accident last week."
"What?" she whispered hoarsely, feeling tears sting her eyes. "But...but...she's okay right?"
"She...," her eyes closed for a second before continuing. "It was a head on collision with a drunk driver. She didn't make it. They said she died instantly from the impact."
"No!" Buffy cried out, her tears now falling freely. "No...s-she can't be dead!"
"I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow pulled the sobbing Slayer into her arms.
"She c-can't be d-dead," Buffy mumbled against Willow's chest. It didn't matter that they hadn't spoken in nearly seven years. She was still her mother, and even though they'd parted badly, Buffy still loved her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, the entire group was sitting around in Buffy, Willow and Oz's living room in silence. No one knew what to say to the distraught Slayer. They were aware that Buffy and her Mother were not speaking and hadn't seen each other since she left Sunnydale, but they knew it still had to be hard for her to hear about her death.
"Okay," Willow announced, looking up from her laptop. "I made you reservations to fly to LA."
"Good, thanks Willow," answered Buffy softly, wiping at her eyes.
Willow sat back against the couch, "are you sure you don't want us to come too?"
"I'm sure," Buffy nodded. "You've got that Wiccan thing to go to with Tara this weekend, and I know she's excited for you to go with her."
"Okay, but I wish I could go with you," Willow sighed, reaching for Oz's hand.
"I know, but it's okay. Plus Cordy and Doyle will be there with me," Buffy yawned after she finished speaking.
"And we're taking Ashlynn," Cordy chipped in, reminding them that Buffy wanted to have her daughter with her.
"Why don't you go get some sleep, Sunshine," Lorne placed a comforting hand on her shoulder from where he stood behind the couch. "You're flight leaves early tomorrow."
"Okay," Buffy agreed, standing up from the sofa. "I'll see you guys in the morning."
The Slayer walked numbly out of the room, leaving her friends to stare sadly at her back. Each wondered why it was that Buffy always had to deal with such tragic events in her life. It seemed as though fate was constantly testing her with new obstacles. They knew she'd make it through this, but they also knew it had to be difficult for her.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean~
Angel paced restlessly around the small cabin of the plane. If he hadn't been so preoccupied with thoughts of Buffy, he would have been petrified about being on an airplane, but he hadn't given a second thought to the first time experience. Planes and vampires usually weren't things that went together due to the sunlight issue, but he felt it was necessary in this instance. He needed to get to Sunnydale, and he needed to get there quickly.
It had taken many, many favors, and digging into finances he hadn't touched in a very long time to get passage on the small plane. Thankfully, his deeds fighting demons had made him a few friends and he was able to find someone to fly him to the States, and then to the small airport in Sunnydale. The fact that it was a small private plane allowed him to make sure coming into contact with sunlight wasn't a problem.
So now he was pacing back and forth across the floor, waiting anxiously for their arrival in New York. They would refuel the plane there, and unfortunately stay for a day while the pilot dealt with some other business. Then they would begin the trek to Sunnydale. For Angel, it seemed like a never-ending journey even though they'd only left Ireland a few hours earlier.
He couldn't get his mind off of Buffy and what Spike had told him. Seven years. That would mean that he had only been gone a couple months when she... No! He wouldn't accept that. He wouldn't accept it because it wasn't true. She wasn't dead. She was alive. Spike was lying, just trying to get a rise out of him. There was no possible way that his Buffy could be dead.
Angel tiredly leaned his head against the wall of the plane, repeating over and over to himself that Buffy was in fact alive. He conjured up a mental vision of her smiling, walking in the sun with a loving husband on one side and a beautiful little girl on the other. The happy fantasy caused a different sort of anguish to ripple through his body.
He'd left her so that she could have a real life, one with sunlight, and family, and someone to love her, but the very thought of her having that with anyone but him shattered his already fractured heart. Even though they'd been apart for so long, he still loved her with every fiber of his being, and even if all he wanted was for her to be happy, it still hurt beyond words. If he had to choose between her having a life with someone else, and her being dead, it was an easy pick. He'd rather see her smiling in the arms of another, than as a cold, lifeless body, buried and forgotten in the ground.
His fist banged loudly against the solid metal of the plane. He wouldn't accept that she was dead. In the back of his mind, though, he knew it was a real possibility. She was the Slayer after all, fighting night after night. There was always a risk, always the chance that she'd not survive her next battle. Buffy was strong, though. She'd beaten the odds more than once. For now, he would hold on to that knowledge.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~Sunnydale~
Inside the rental car, Buffy tiredly leaned her head against the window, wishing that this day would end and that she was back in her home in Seattle. Being in Sunnydale was taxing enough on its own, but being here because of her Mother's death seemed to push the emotional and physical strain to another level. They'd only been in town for about twelve hours, but to Buffy it felt ten times longer.
After arriving in Los Angeles, Doyle had gotten them a rental car and driven the four of them to Sunnydale. Once there, Buffy hadn't really known what to do. She hadn't really thought about what she would do once she returned to her former home. Eventually, they'd decided to go to Joyce's house for lack of anything else to do.
At the house, the group had encountered Buffy's Aunt, Joyce's sister, who was in town dealing with the aftermath of the accident. Her reception of Buffy and her friends had been cold to say the least. Obviously, she was well aware of all that had occurred between Buffy and Joyce. At least she hadn't kicked them out.
The rest of the morning and afternoon they spent going through the house, sorting through what would be kept and what would be thrown away or given to charity. Joyce's sister had already gone through much of the house, but they'd finished up the rest while Buffy was there. It was surreal to the blonde headed Slayer, being in her old house with her Mother not there, knowing she'd never be there again. The family pictures and mementos brought tears to her eyes.
Not for the first time, Buffy found herself wishing that she'd tried to work things out with her Mom. Maybe if she'd sent her a letter, or called, they could have repaired their relationship. Maybe...just maybe...but now it was too late. She'd never have the chance to mend what had been painfully broken years before. Her Mother would never again be part of her life, Ashlynn would never get to know her grandmother, and Joyce would never meet her granddaughter.
Buffy supposed that all those sayings about how you never realize something until it's too late were true. Since hearing of her Mother's death, she'd been filled with regrets. Not over what she'd done, and not over her refusal of her Mom's demands, but because she'd never tried to contact Joyce after leaving. Seven long years and she'd let the rift between them remain. Maybe they wouldn't have been able to work out their differences, but at least she would have tried. Now, she would never know. Now, it was too late.
Wiping a tear off her cheek, Buffy looked out the window at the cemetery they were approaching. Joyce's funeral and memorial had been a few days earlier, but Buffy wanted to visit the grave site. If she'd known before hand, she would have come for the funeral, but she hadn't know till yesterday so she would have to settle for visiting the grave.
"We're here," Doyle broke the complete silence inside the car.
The sound jolted Buffy out of her half-asleep daze and she raised her head off the window, taking a deep breath in the process. "Thanks."
"Do you want us to come with you?" Cordy asked in a whisper, turning to face Buffy in the back seat.
"No. I...I-I want to go alone," Buffy ran a hand through her hair and started to open the car door.
"What about Ash?" Doyle nodded his head to the little girl.
Buffy looked down at her sleeping daughter for a moment and shook her head. "Let her sleep, she's had a long day."
"Ok, we'll be here if you need us," Cordy squeezed her hand sympathetically.
Smiling faintly, Buffy climbed out of the car, smoothing down her skirt for no reason other than to give her hands something to do. Hesitantly, she walked toward where she was told the grave rested. Her hands trembled as she neared the place where the woman who had given birth to her would forever rest. Within seconds, the light granite headstone was right in front of her, making her face the harsh reality of death.
Step by small step, she approached large stone until she stood right in front of it. Her eyes closed as a wave of nausea swirled deep down in her stomach. Opening them again, Buffy knelt down in front of the grave. Tears falling, she placed the bouquet of white roses down onto the grass. With a shaky hand, she reached up to touch the cold stone that bore her Mother's name.
"Hi Mom," she whispered brokenly, her fingers tracing the lettering on the headstone.
"I wish I knew what to say," she began, leaning back on her heals. "I'm sorry we never got to make things right. I-I never stopped loving you. Even though we haven't talked for seven years, you were always my Mother. I can't apologize for what happened because I don't regret having my daughter, but I wish you could have been a part of our lives."
"I had a little girl, Mom," Buffy smiled at the thought of her daughter. "She's beautiful, and smart. I never thought being a Mother could be like this. You would have loved her. I know you would have. I told her about you. I wanted her to know who you were. There's a picture of you and me together in her room."
"I know we had our problems, Mom, but I know you did the best you could. I wasn't the easiest kid to deal with. And the Slayer stuff didn't make things any better. I wish I could have ignored it and been the daughter you wanted, but I did what I had to do. I hope that you understand that," she paused, taking a moment to calm herself. "I never hated you for all the bad stuff."
She kissed her fingers and placed them over the scripted name. "I love you, Mommy."
Rising from her spot, a wave of dizziness stuttered her steps. Buffy reached up and grasped at her head, willing the spinning to stop. After breathing in a few deep lungfuls of air, the sensation eased away. Taking one last look at the grave, she turned and began to walk away when an all too familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.
"I didn't think you had the nerve to show up here."
Buffy whirled around, immediately wishing she hadn't as the dizziness returned.
"Xander?"
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!