Title: Watching Raito
Author: Keraha
Warnings: Nothing much to warn about in this one. Mostly a character sketch.
Notes: This was written after being challenged to write Raito/Ryuuku (or vice versa), but I couldn't do it. So instead I just did this. Written when 23 or so chapters of DN were out.
During the day, Raito was fascinating to watch.
He would be so still during the day, dilligent student and clever boy. But when he came home, he changed faces. I'll be in my room, he'd tell his mother, brushing her off. Ryuuku was delighted to find that the mother didn't notice how disrespectful he had been because she was too busy dreaming about what a genius son she had.
If only she knew, Ryuuku thought, watching as she hummed while cleaning the kitchen. Raito truly was a genius, but not in the way that his mother would approve of. He killed mercilessly between homework assignments and studying. Read the textbook, chapter 7.1-9, write down a few names, finish the math problems that he hadn't finished in school, begin a paper, write names, continue studying.
It was deliciously twisted, and Ryuuku loved it.
He would eat an apple, feeling the fruit of the human world slide into his belly, recalling every version of the snake offering this very fruit to the very first humans. It too had some meaning, he was sure, but sometimes, when he hadn't had an apple for days and had followed Raito through the market, he believed that the snake was simply trying to do some good. After all, how could a person live without such a delicious snack?
He took a bite, relishing the way the apple's crisp flesh snapped under his teeth, a small spray of juice flying from his mouth.
Mmm. Ryuuku spent a moment savoring the taste.
That was part of the problem with shinigamis. They had all the moments in the world to waste, and that's all they did. No one in the other world would think about enjoying something. It was just throw the skull, the bone, the dice, watch them land and gamble. No enjoyment except for the expression of shock on the loser's face, and even those had faded to apathy.
In the human world, all the little creatures didn't live long enough to waste time. They hurried from one place to the next, shuttled by cars, buses, taxis, trains. They never stopped, and sometimes, Ryuuku wished they would. It was fun, yes, but after a while, even the buzz of activity lessened to a drone, and everything became gray again.
But Raito was never gray. He had soft, pink skin, so unlike Ryuuku's own. It was a foreign, exotic shade that Ryuuku's claws itched to touch. He wondered how much pressure would have to be exerted for Raito to bleed. He imagined it couldn't be very much and was tempted to find out. (Raito's pulse fluttered just under his skin. It made Ryuuku feel want.) His hair was brown, but unlike the dirt and sand of the other world, it had so many colors within it that Ryuuku could spend hours counting strands. His eyes were brown too, but they lightened and darkened with his mood. In the light, they gleamed amber, and in the dark, Ryuuku could see them black with a dilated pupil.
Human bodies were so interesting.
Shinigami bodies were tough and dried out, decorated with skull and bones and chains that caught their fancy. They used to change their accessories more often, wanting to feel unique, but as shinigami became shinigami became shinigami, they began to settle in their own ruts. Ryuuku hadn't changed in over a century. His belt stayed where it was, the cross, the Death Note, the bones on his shirt. They remained unchanged.
Humans changed every day. Dress this way, style that way, pull your hair over your eye, do this and that and maybe it'll be okay.
Ryuuku was glad that Raito wasn't as bad as the others. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle so many changes every day. Frankly, it was a bit overwhelming at times.
But Raito wasn't like that.
He never changed his plans, remained methodical and calculating. Everything was weighed and decided only after the scales tipped. He saw through people in ways that Ryuuku's shinigami eyes never could, and Ryuuku knew that that alone was enough to follow him.
Occasionally, Ryuuku wondered if there was such a thing as fate, as though Raito was supposed to pick up the Death Note and as though Ryuuku was meant to watch him. As though they were brought together with a purpose and a destiny.
He liked the sound of that. Purpose and destiny. It made him feel important.
But he knew that things didn't work like that. Fate was for people who believed in a loving god.
He took another bite of his apple, and the sheer burst of flavor was enough for him to try and wiggle his toes in his boots. No wonder Adam and Eve were banned from Eden, he thought again. If they had to stay there but couldn't eat these, then it really wasn't Eden at all!
Wait-- maybe he messed up the story. Were they really banned from eating apples?
Ryuuku shuddered at the thought.
"What's wrong with you?" Raito asked, looking up from a textbook to glance at him.
"Hm?" Ryuuku made an inquiring sound. He could never tell what Raito was going to say next.
"You keep on acting strangely and it's distracting. Is there something important you're not telling me?" Raito's eyes were cold and hard, dissecting and analyzing Ryuuku.
"No." And it was the truth.
"Then stop playing around with your apple and eat it."
Ryuuku complied.
Sometimes, he mused, taking a big bite and enjoying the sound of apple flesh between his teeth, he didn't know why he stayed with this boy. But he knew that it was a stupid question; watching Kira far outweighed the few petty commands Raito gave.
Raito was interesting, in the way that a shinigami never could be, and in a way that only a handful of other humans were. He was interesting in a dangerous way, smiling at you while plotting your murder, then crying after the deed was done. He was ordinary, except when he wasn't, and even then, you would never know. Ryuuku could spend hours watching him at work, but instead, he had hours of every day, human behavior: going to school, eating lunch, talking with --Ryuuku laughed-- friends, and after a long day, Ryuuku wondered if perhaps he had just made up Kira, because this boy couldn't possibly be him. But Raito at home, oh, he was wonderful. He pulled at problems, piecing them apart until he knew every intimate detail. He could put them back together, except in a way so that no one but him could ever fix them again.
That was the way he approached Kira. Kira was just a name Raito used, but Ryuuku could see when Kira surfaced and when not. He was always there, but how far down was the issue.
Ryuuku bit down on the apple, then he realized that only the core was left. He shrugged, then popped that into his mouth and bit it, ignoring the hard bits of apple seed that stuck in his teeth.
From the desk, Raito sighed, then closed the textbook with a soft thump. He put it on top of the spiral notebook at his side, then bent down to put them both in his bag. Object by object, he cleared his desk, and Ryuuku knew that he was going to be going to sleep. It was almost midnight, and while Ryuuku was used to not sleeping for days, he knew this was almost late for Raito.
Human were so fragile. It was cute.
Raito left the room to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth and do the strange nightly rituals that humans did. When he came back, he didn't look noticably cleaner, but Ryuuku took it in stride. Humans changed, and, often enough, they were small pointless changes that no self respecting shinigami would do. But then again, no self respecting shinigami would follow around a human, Death Note rules or not.
Ryuuku grinned. The others were missing out.
What fun was there in stagnation when there were people to watch?
"Move." Speaking of which, he was issuing those petty commands again, telling Ryuuku to get off his bed. For a moment, Ryuuku wondered what would happen if he didn't move, just stayed there and met Raito's cool gaze.
"If I don't?"
Raito didn't answer, just settled himself on the bed, studiously away from Ryuuku, then clicked off the light at the side of his bed. Within minutes, he was asleep, and Ryuuku felt a strange sense of not being there. No other human he'd ever met or seen had been able to dismiss him as easily at that. It was a strange feeling.
Not one he particularly enjoyed, either.
He stayed there, watching as Raito's breath slowed, then evened out, the slight tension in his back relaxing. There was a moment of disappointment when Raito didn't turn around, say Ha! I tricked you! or give one last disgruntled shove. He just fell asleep, next to a shinigami that could kill him in a minute, one with a Death Note strapped to his leg and a pen nearby.
What a boy he was, this Raito.
When he slept, he was someone completely different. Someone softer, really. Warm and unmoving. There was none of the iron stillness with which he moved in the day, and Ryuuku liked it. He trailed a finger over Raito's hair, feeling the human warmth seep through his skin. When he touched Raito's cheek, the skin moved over the flesh in a slide that he never felt on himself. There were invisible hairs on his skin, ones that Ryuuku could see only if he concentrated.
Look at that, Ryuuku thought, as he pulled a finger across Raito's body. Kira, asleep.
Raito turned, causing Ryuuku to curl his hand back. The bed moved when Raito shifted to his side to face Ryuuku.
"Still not gone?" he said flatly, making it something less than a question but more than a statement.
Ryuuku grinned at him. "You have skeletons in your closet and gods of death in your bed."
Raito rolled his eyes, a gesture that no human could have seen in the dark, then faced away again. "I expect you'll be gone by morning," he said in that same not-quite-statement way.
Ryuuku felt his lips pull back into a smile. Oh yes. Gone by morning. He wouldn't be, but this wonderful, soft Raito would.
And others wondered why he would follow around this boy.
They were clearly missing out.
A/N: This was originally going to be focussed on Ryuuku watching Raito sleep, but there was almost a month from when I wrote the majority of the story to the time when I ended it, and by that time I completely forgot what I wanted to do. When I remembered, I decided I really didn't want to go there. Which is pretty much the only reason for the super abrupt ending. Raito/Ryuuku frightens me in ways I don't particularly want to explore. . (-cough- Perhaps another time...) Also, I really struggled with Ryuuku because I have no sense of who he is. I mean, he just stands there and watches Raito. And eats apples. And makes the occasional snide remark. o.O