The Dawnmeister Chronicles
Chapter Two: Never Kill A Boy On The First Date
Buffy brought a boy back to the house. She has no taste whatsoever. I mean, I'm all for pretty boys, but when a guy's prettier than you are, well, there's a problem.
Not that it would ever be a problem for me. I think I've said before that Buffy's adopted. I still believe it, we're just so different. I don't know why Mom bothers with her sometimes. I work my ass off so that I don't end up a juvenile delinquent like Buffy, but Mom barely notices. It's attention seeking, that's what it is. And it sucks.
So anyway, this guy, Owen, was a complete dork. I was sitting on the stairs when Buffy went to answer the door and she said "Dawn, go to your room." Like she could order me around, puh-lease. So I said no and then she said, "Then try not to embarrass me." Which was dumb because when she opened the door, it was the librarian guy, y'know, the pervy one. They were going on about people dying, which I suppose was a British chat up line because Buffy got all pissed and told me to go away. Which I did, but only to the top of the stairs where I could hear her but she couldn't see me.
Then I saw her date at the door and came down again because it's an unwritten law that Buffy can't be mean to me in front of her dates until some point after their fourth date. She turned to look at me and mouthed "Do not embarrass me" again.
That was such a dumb thing to say, I mean, she was actually going out in public with that loser, that's what I call embarrassing. And even more embarrassing? Having your High School librarian in the house at the same time your date shows up. And Buffy's supossed to be LL Cool B. Huh, I'm the cool one. I'm like the coolest little sister in the world, I wouldn't treat her the way she treats me if I was the big sister.
If she'd given me the chance, I could have told her that her date wasn't going to go well. Buffy's friends' Willow and Xander dragged me and Owen into the living room and Owen started talking to me. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew her date was gonna be a washout.
"Oh hi, so you're Buffy's little sister?" he says to me, like I'm three or something. Then he asks, "What grade are you in? What's your favourite class?" and then, get this, "I like your pig tails." Pig tails! My hair was plaited, it was very Pocohantas, it was not very pig tails. Then he said, "I'll see you around." Yeah. Right.
When Buffy came home, she was all pouty "woe is me" Buffy. She should really try and think before she agrees to go on dates with utter dorks. Ok, so he was a dork, but intellectually, he was way out of her league.
When is Buffy going to learn that Bad Boys are the only way to go? Hot, mysterious, dangerous... What more could a girl ask for?