Ron ran so fast up the stairs and to the common room that he hadn't realized the people he wanted to talk to were all sitting on or around the couch. As he ran up the stairs to the boy's dormitory he did a double take and stumbled back over to the couch where Dean, Seamus, and Neville all sat.
Ron let himself fall onto the couch and pant until his breathing was regulated. At that point he realized that the boys had stopped all activity and stared at him.
"Well?" said Dean, looking both impatient and eager.
"One second," said Ron, still slightly out of breath, "let me bask in my glory a little more."
10 seconds later he began the tale of his marvelous day. The others listened with rapt attention.
"It started on the Quidditch field all right? You follow me? Harry was going to decide who the new captain would be, me or Ginny. And of course you all know who it would be," he said, pointing at himself and winking. At this remark the others exchanged looks of nervousness but allowed him to continue. "Yeah, but ol' Harry, good guy that he is didn't want to hurt Ginny's feelings so he said, 'After we've chosen a new team they will vote for team captain' and that's when I realized it was me. Then when-"
"I dunno you shouldn't underestimate Ginny," Seamus butted in. He was the one dating Ginny this week.
Ron ignored the comment completely. Nothing was going to ruin his day. "-I was coming back to the common room I met up with Hermione and," he looked around to make sure she wasn't in earshot, "and she asked me to go to Hogsmeade with her!" He looked around and watched all the expressions change from mildly interested to devoting their complete and total attention. Well, except for Neville, who was biting his lip and looking over at Padma, Parvati, and Lavender.
"I'm sorry Ron, I've got some, er business to take care of. Congratulations with Hermione and all." He exited the common room.
"Been acting a bit skittish all night, that one," Dean stated, looking mischievous. "But back to Hermione, that's really great. I mean, you've been after her forever!"
"Yeah. You too are really polar opposites but damn you make a good couple!" Seamus put in excitedly.
"You might wanna keep this from Harry for a while though," Dean said darkly. "He might not take it so well mate."
"What are you talking about? Harry doesn't fancy her!" Ron said, a bit too defensively to be completely convincing.
"No, he doesn't," Seamus put in, "but that's not the point. Point is mate, what is he gonna do at Hogsmeade? And when you come back and he sees you two love birds holding hands will he feel uncomfortable? Will it be awkward between you three? He might feel unwanted and alone."
Dean and Ron stared at him.
"Damn mate when did you become the relationship expert? 'Spout as queer as it comes eh Ron?" Dean said laughing hysterically.
"Yeah really. But that's all rubbish. It won't be like that. Everything will be normal. Harry will be happy for me. See, here he comes now. Hey! Hey Harry over here!" Ron waved his arms and watched Harry wade his way through the crowded common room.
Dean was upside down on the couch and still laughing uncontrollably when he got there.
"Who set Dean off?" Harry asked smiling widely.
"I think he set himself off," Ron said shrugging.
"Naw it was Seamus and his queer ways! Ahahahahahah!" said the boy who had by now fallen completely off the couch.
"It wasn't really that funny you know, so you can get up now," Ron said in a slightly irritable tone. He was thinking about what Seamus had said. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He'd have to keep it a secret if he wanted the friendship to last. But what in bloody hell was he going to do with Hermione at Hogsmeade?
As if to answer his thought Harry said casually, "You going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
"Um, the thought had, er, crossed my mind," he answered awkwardly.
"Oh. Well I don't think I will. Snape's got us swamped with homework. It is completely insane and should be illegal how much homework he gave us. Hermione's not taking N.E.W.T. potions either so I've got to do it on my own." He paused and grunted. "Snape's a real bastard you know."
"Is he really?" Ron inquired sarcastically.
Harry gave a wry smile to acknowledge the joke, but didn't laugh. "I seriously don't know if I still even want to be an Auror if I have to take N.E.W.T. level potions to be one," he said darkly, gazing into the fire.
"Well it's too late now mate." There was a long silence and finally Ron got up and announced that it was time for him and Hermione to make their Head Boy and Girl rounds around the castle. He didn't have to look hard to find her either, because as soon as he stepped away from the couch she was hawking him.
"Come on Ron! We're going to be late!" She said naggingly.
"Oh come off it, it's not like anything ever goes wrong," he said scowling, even though he knew she was right. It was five after ten.
So they set out into the halls in search of things going awry.
Ron broke the silence suddenly, "So how're classes?"
"Oh they're all right. It's certainly not a 3rd year." He chuckled. That was the running joke. If you had a bustling or over exciting year it was a 3rd year.
"Yeah same here. I hate Professor Binns. I know I say that all the time and I never thought I could hate him anymore, but damn this year he's horrible."
"How would you know? Half the time you're asleep!"
"And the other half I'm awake and I know that he's horrible!"
She rolled her eyes and that was the end of the conversation. A long silence followed.
They were pretty much just roaming around the castle at night, which is what the Golden Trio does best anyway, so the job was easy. Thanks to the Marauders Map, they knew all the secret passageways and trap doors in every part of the school, but when they searched them they found nobody. Perhaps, still, nobody else knew the secrets of Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail.
But as they came nearer to a small broom closet, they heard noises. Soft moans, and muffled giggles. Then rustling.
"Ron! Do you hear that?" Hermione asked in a hushed voice.
"Yeah, where's it coming from?"
"I-I dunno. It sounds like from one of the closets over there," she said uneasily. A long, audible moan came from the 3rd one and she looked up at Ron, her eyes nervous. He looked down at her but was no support, he was nervous too.
"All right there's definitely something in the 3rd one. Maybe a hurt animal or something, so on the count of three we open it all right?"
Hermione nodded and he began to count. "One...Two...Three!" And he wrenched open the door with a giant heave.
Brave as they were, nothing could have prepared them for this.
Parvati screamed, and Ron and Hermione followed suit.
"Holy oh my God! What in bloody hell!?" he shouted, completely flabbergasted by this unholy sight.
"He seduced me!" Parvati shrieked unconvincingly, and pointing at her snog partner, Neville.
"What?!?" Hermione said incredulously. "Neville couldn't seduce a rock!" At this Ron got a sick image...
Neville and a rock were sitting in a field, with Neville rubbing the back of the rock.
"Hey baby," he said in a deep voice, "Wanna come home with me tonight?"
Rock moves away
He shivered as he was brought back to reality by Parvati's shrill voice.
"He lured me here! He told me that, uh, if I came he would give me ten galleons!" She was still making up excuses.
"Give it up woman! You are out past curfew, in a broom closet, snogging Neville Longbottom!" This was difficult for Ron to say between all his fits of laughter.
"Ron!" Hermione finally said, and smacked him on the shoulder. She continued, "This is very disappointing. I had," she smiled, "expected better, more, shall we say, appropriate behavior. You both will receive a detention and five points will be taken from each of your houses."
Neville sighed. "Great, so long as you don't tell my Gram. She'll send me a howler I won't soon forget."
"Hermione are you mental? They're in our house! Why would you take points away from our own house?" Ron said angrily.
"Because they deserve it." She answered shortly.
"But we don't! Can't we just give them two detentions or something?"
"No."
"Oh come on don't I have any say in this whatsoever? I'm Head Boy you know."
She sighed and looked at the guilty couple in the closet. "All right, two detentions for both of you. Now get up, and we will escort you back to the common room."
Noble man, that Ron. Hermione thought at the reached the portrait hole.
Very intimidating, that Hermione. Very fortunate she likes me isn't it? Ron thought as he made his way through the portrait.
When he got to the boys dormitory he woke up Harry. He told him about Neville and Parvati and his sick image. Harry said he didn't need Ron to tell him about the image, he got the same one. And then Ron thought real hard. He decided he didn't care what Seamus said, he was going to tell Harry about Hermione.