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Part 8

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"Well?" Buffy spoke once they were both standing inside the club's main office and Giles had yet to say anything.

The former Watcher removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so. Replacing the glasses, he took a deep breath before finally looking up at Buffy. "I believe I owe you an apology.

"And what makes you think that?" she asked solemnly, resting a hip against her desk.

"I behaved badly in Sunnydale after you told us what happened," he responded, though he knew she was just making him admit his error.

"Ya think?" Buffy snorted indignantly.

"I should not have done what I did," Giles continued despite Buffy's hostile tone. "There has not been a day gone by that I have not regretted what happened. I am truly sorry."

Buffy said nothing immediately, just stared at her ex-Watcher. She moved away from her desk and wandered the office for a minute until she'd gathered her thoughts. When she did, she faced him once again.

"Do you know how much it hurt?" she asked pensively. "I needed your support and you just turned your back on me, along with telling me what a disappointment I was."

Bristling at her blunt words, Giles sighed, realizing this was going to be as difficult as he'd expected. "I was angry, Buffy, and terrified. I reacted on those two emotions."

"That doesn't make it right," rebutted Buffy, emotionally torn over whether she should readily accept his apology.

"I know it doesn't," he responded quietly. "But you have to understand where I was coming from. You willingly slept with Angel knowing what the consequences could have been."

"I know it was wrong," Buffy agreed, her voice wavering a bit. "But you don't know what it was like, thinking that the person you love with all your heart was just going to walk away and that you'd probably never see him again. You don't know what it was like to feel as though your heart was being torn out of your chest!"

"No, I don't quite know what that feels like," Giles conceded, his mind drifting to a certain Gypsy who had died years earlier, at the hands of Angelus no less.

"I did the best I could, Giles. I know I made mistakes, but I wouldn't change any of it," she proclaimed honestly.

Giles took a few seconds to peer at his surroundings and to think about the life Buffy now had. "No, I don't suppose you would," he replied, knowing she meant her words, and he really couldn't blame her. She had the life he'd always hoped she would have a chance to experience.

"For my part, I am sorry that I did something so risky, but in the end, I don't regret it," she said, her chin jutting out defiantly.

"You've grown up so much," he spoke suddenly.

Buffy shrugged. "I had to."

The comment stung, but Giles could tell it was not maliciously directed at him. It was just a statement of truth. She'd been forced to change from a teenage girl to a Mother almost over night, and on her own. No, he supposed she wasn't alone. She'd had Cordelia, Doyle, and all the others who'd become her support team.

"For what it's worth, I'm proud of all you have accomplished here," he commended sincerely.

"Thank you."

"I know you may never trust me again, but I would like to be a part of your life," Giles went on, directing their conversation back to its original topic.

Buffy stiffened at the request. She wanted to say yes. After all, Giles had once been more of a Father to her than her own, but still, a part of her just didn't know if she had it in her. He'd hurt her so much with his words years ago. Could she let go of that pain? She knew she would never forget it, but could she get past it? Honestly, she didn't know.

"I can't answer that now. Just...just give me some time and we'll see," she answered, flinching slightly at the hurt that entered his eyes.

"I understand," Giles nodded sadly.

"Thanks," Buffy said, returning the nod. "I better get back to work."

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"What's it like?" Buffy asked softly as she and Angel sat on the roof of the apartment building watching the pinks, oranges, and reds start to creep across the sky.

"What's what like?" Angel questioned, tightening his arms around Buffy.

"Being able to see the sunrise again," she clarified, snuggling closer against his chest to ward off the early morning chill.

"It's...," he started, struggling to find the right way to describe it. "It's amazing. I'd forgotten all the colors there were, and how bright it was."

"I can imagine," she replied softly. "I used to come up here once in a while to watch the sun come up, and I'd think about how you couldn't ever see it."

"But now I can," Angel added.

"Yes, you can," Buffy agreed, tilting her head up to kiss Angel gently.

Sighing, they broke apart seconds later, content to merely sit together holding each other. They watched the sun rise in silence, reveling in the new experience they were afforded because of the return of Angel's humanity.

"I heard you talked to Giles today," Angel spoke up.

"Yeah," Buffy confirmed, her voice indifferent. Her feelings towards her former Watcher were still torn. His apology had sounded sincere, but his actions still hurt. She didn't know if she could forgive and forget.

"What did he say?" Angel asked, tightening his arms around Buffy, knowing this was a sensitive subject for her.

"He apologized for what happened back in Sunnydale and explained why he acted the way he did," she relayed morosely, hating to think back on that awful period in her life.

Angel sensed her hesitation. He could only imagine how hard facing her Watcher again was. "You don't think he was being sincere?"

"I don't know. I think he was," she answered with a shrug. "It's just hard. Seeing him brings back all the memories of what happened."

"It's not good to dwell on the past," Angel pointed out.

"I know," she said with an exaggerated sigh. "At the same time, how can I just forget everything and act like it never happened. I needed his support, Angel, and he literally just turned his back on me."

"You don't have to forget, Buffy," he corrected. "But you can forgive and move on."

"I just...I don't know if I can. I told him I needed some time," Buffy explained how her conversation with Giles had ended.

"Whatever you decide, I will support you," he offered, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Thanks," she accepted, relaxing into his embrace. After several seconds of silence, she cocked her head slightly. "It's weird having everyone here."

"Yeah, it's almost like it was back in Sunnydale except for...," he trailed off, not wanting to say the name of the missing person.

"Xander," Buffy filled her, the name being spat out as if it were poison. "I'd be perfectly happy if I never had to see him again."

Angel started to say something, but stopped, knowing it would not go over too well. Hearing the halted words, Buffy asked, "What?"

"You don't want to ever try to work things out with him?" he finally questioned.

"Angel," Buffy started, turning slightly in his arms so that she could look at him. "You didn't hear the things he said to me. They were mean, hateful, and cruel. Yes, I know he had a reason to be upset and angry, but I can never forgive or forget what he did to me."

"I guess I can understand that," Angel conceded. He didn't know exactly what Xander had said. Between Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia he'd only been told the general gist of the hurtful words, but he knew that they had been just as Buffy said: cruel.

"I saw him when Doyle, Cordy, Ashlynn and I went to Sunnydale a few weeks ago," she told him, realizing she had neglected to mention that little detail during their previous conversations.

"You didn't tell me that," he replied.

"I forgot. I guess I blocked it out," she explained, shrugging.

"I take it the run-in didn't go well," Angel concluded from the tone of her voice.

"No, it really didn't," Buffy confirmed, thinking back to the meeting. "He was just so full of hate. He told me I had no right to come back to Sunnydale."

"You were in Sunnydale before I got there," he mumbled half to himself, realizing something.

"So?"

"I saw Xander when I was there. He said he didn't know where you were or what happened to you, and all the while, he had just seen you," Angel explained what had just occurred to him.

Buffy shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that. Sometimes I wonder...," she trailed off.

"Wonder what?" he pressed.

"I wonder if things would have gone differently if I'd gotten pregnant by anyone other than you," she said, putting words to her thoughts.

"Oh," Angel mumbled, stiffening slightly.

"No, Angel, I didn't mean it like that," Buffy corrected. "I wouldn't want to carry anybody's child but yours. I just...he hated you so much, I just wondered how he would have acted if it hadn't been you."

"He probably would have hated them too because it still meant you'd chosen someone else over him," he pointed out.

"Hmm. That's true. I guess it doesn't matter," she conceded. It really didn't matter. "Besides, I'm glad Ashlynn is yours. I wish..."

"Wish what?" Angel asked, curious.

"I never found out how we were able to make a baby. I mean, you told me vampires couldn't have kids," she reminded him of their graveyard conversation from years ago. "I was completely shocked when I realized I was pregnant. After we got to Seattle, Doyle and Cordy helped me research how it was possible, but we never found anything."

"I know how," Angel said, suddenly feeling guilty that he'd forgotten to tell her.

"You do?" Buffy exclaimed, pulling away and facing him expectantly. She had always wanted to find out how Ashlynn had been able to be conceived.

"I never thought it was possible. After all, I was technically a demon in a dead body," he began, taking hold of Buffy's hands. "I wanted to know how it could have happened, so I asked the Oracle."

"And?" she prodded excitedly.

"It was the blood...your blood...from when I...bit you," Angel mumbled, wincing at the memory. "Your blood was still in my system. The Oracle said that's why we were able to conceive."

"I guess that makes sense...sort of," she said, not noticing that Angel seemed to be lost in thought.

Angel raised his left hand until his fingers touched the scar that had never faded from Buffy's neck. He traced over the raised skin, guilt flooding through him over the mark and the fact that he had bit her. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

Placing a hand on top of his at her neck, Buffy looked him in the eyes. "Don't be. I never regretted it. You would have died if you hadn't drunk my blood. It saved your life, and now, knowing that it allowed us to have Ashlynn, makes it all the more special."

"Still..."

"No regrets, Angel," Buffy softly ordered. Wanting to get off the subject before Angel went into pure brood-mode, she went back to the original conversation. "When did you find out from the Oracle?"

"Oh...I asked right before they completed the deal to save your life," he explained, trying to shake off his guilt at the events of the past. "I just wanted to know."

Buffy nodded before shifting back to rest against Angel. His arms immediately wrapped around her again, holding her closely. Buffy sighed, her eyes once again watching the sun rising over the horizon. Thinking back on all the changes that had happened recently, Buffy decided to ask a question that had been lurking in the back of her mind.

"Why'd you do it, Angel?"

He looked down at her, confused over the out-of-the-blue question. "Do what?"

"Give up your life for mine," she explained, hoping he wouldn't get upset that she'd asked.

"Because I would do anything for you," Angel responded honestly. "I've lived a long life, Buffy. You're still so young, and you have so much to live for: Ashlynn, your friends, your job. Compared to your life, mine meant nothing."

"But it does!" Buffy exclaimed, turning to face him. "When I thought you were gone, truly gone, I thought I'd die along with you."

"No, you wouldn't have," he disagreed with a shake of his head. "You're stronger than you think, Buffy. You would have found a way to go on."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have wanted to," she whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek.

"It doesn't matter, though. We're both here, now, and we're together," Angel pointed out, not wanting to dwell on the pains of the past.

"You're right," Buffy said, once again cuddling up against him.

A moment later, they were startled out of their quiet time together by the sound of the roof door opening and closing. Turning at once, they saw Giles walking toward them, a perplexed look on his face.

"Ah, Buffy, Angel. I found you," he spoke once he was close enough.

"Giles? Shouldn't you be sleeping," Buffy questioned, looking at him oddly. He was dressed in tweed pants, a t-shirt, and his hair was sticking up all over the place.

"Oh, well...I was, but then I got a phone call," he explained, embarrassed to realize how untidy his appearance was.

"Um, okay. So you decided to stroll up here and tell us that?" she asked, still confused.

"The call...it-it was a friend of mine that is part of the Council," Giles started to explain the news that had instantly dazed him only moments earlier. "Apparently, Quentin Travers suffered a fatal heart attack late last night."

"He's dead?" Buffy questioned bluntly, eyes widening.

"Yes."

"Huh. I never liked him anyway," Buffy said with a snort of disgust at the abhorrent, now dead, man.

"There's more," the former Watcher went on. "His death evidently opened up a window of opportunity for the group of Watchers who feel that the Council should change their ways to make their move. They've managed to take over the executive board."

"And you're telling us this because?" she wondered out loud. The Council was not a group on her list of favorite things. She could care less what they did. Well, as long as they weren't trying to kill her.

"Buffy," Angel chastised her. "What does this mean, Giles?"

"Well...they...they have asked me to become Council leader," he finally said.

Both Buffy and Angel were shocked into silence at the statement. Despite their lack of connection to the Council in recent years, both understood the monumental implications of the move.

"Well, I guess that explains that," Angel managed to say a minute later.

"Explains what?" Buffy asked.

"The Oracle...It said that something big was going to happen soon that would change everything," he clarified the thought that had occurred to him.

"Oh...yeah. I guess you're right," she nodded in agreement. "So are you going to accept?"

"I think so," a stunned Giles replied. "It is an excellent opportunity to change the way the Council acts."

"Good. They need to learn how to treat their Slayers better," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Congratulations, Giles," Angel butted in before Buffy could start a tirade on the ways of the Council. "I, we, wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you. It is all so overwhelming. I must go make some phone calls," Giles rambled, already starting to walk away.

"Well, that was unexpected," Buffy spoke, chuckling slightly at the oddness that was Giles.

"Yes, but I think it's a good thing," Angel voiced his happiness at the news.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess it is. Maybe future Slayers won't have to go through all that I did because of the Council," she replied, then yawned.

Angel noticed the yawn and glanced at his watch. "You're tired. We should get some sleep. We've been up here for hours."

"Have we? I hadn't noticed," she answered, wrapping an arm around Angel's waist, and laying her head tiredly on his chest.

Smiling down at her, feeling a lightness in his heart he'd never before experienced, Angel reached down and lifted Buffy into his arms. "Off to bed, beloved."

"Mmm, bed sounds good," Buffy mumbled, already half asleep as she rested in his embrace.

Angel chuckled as he kissed the top of her head and started walking away from the bench they'd been sitting on. When he reached the door to the stairwell, he paused and turned to look at the sun cresting on the horizon He stared at the myriad of colors for a few seconds before he realized the sunrise would be there tomorrow, and every day thereafter. He would be able to see it again, whenever he wanted, with Buffy at his side.

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TBC!!