Disclaimer: Ja, ja I know, I don't own Gundam Wing! Don't rub it in!

Warnings: OOC, angst and errr malicious intent?

A conflict of light and dark

The next morning was kinda awkward. I was still a little worried about what had happened the night before which was totally unlike me. I mean, I know I love the guy and all, but I hadn't seen him in two years, and now, all of a sudden, he's moving in with me? Too weird for words, I tell ya.

There would have been silence around the breakfast table if reliable old Quatre hadn't been there to start up a conversation. Even though I pride myself on not holding back when I have something to say and, better late than never and all that jazz, but, when Heero and I were finally alone after Quatre had gone to the bathroom, I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I felt. Again. Can you see a trend developing? Okay so the first time was unintentionally missed, but that's beside the point, and besides it mucks up my trend.

 "So," I said uncharacteristically only being able to summon up a "so" from my wide vocabulary, "you sure about moving in with me?"

I know it was silly to push my luck, but I just had to be sure that I hadn't been dreaming.

"Hai," Heero mumbled while eating some weird little Japanese dish that looked like leaves.

"No where else to go huh?" I grinned.

 Heero gave me a look from under his bangs before returning to his oh-so-inedible-looking-breakfast.

"Shut up, baka," he murmured finally.

Now I know that "baka" is a Japanese insult, probably meaning "spineless urine drinker" or something of the sort, but it had been a long time since anyone had called me that, and in a nostalgic way it sounded kind of affectionate. Alright so it wasn't just a long time since anyone had called me that…it was a long time since Heero had called me that, and it brought back memories. Memories of dark dorm rooms with Heero trying to get to sleep while I chattered annoyingly at him; it reminded me of swiftly closed laptops, of drinks spilt onto crotches, of punches to the stomach. Oh fond memories, oh happy days.

"If you think THAT'S gonna' work every time I start ranting," I grinned, "you should reconsider right now – 'but don't cause I'll do anything to have you stay!'-."

"I put up with it during the war," Heero said in his monotone, "I think I might be able to handle you know that I have nothing else to focus on."

'What a weird thing to say,' I thought.

"Well as long as you know what you're getting into," I said pushing away my finished breakfast, "I can't stop ya."

"We should leave soon," Heero replied as if he hadn't even heard me speak, "it's a long drive."

"'Kay," I nodded, feeling that I really shouldn't push it or he might get the wrong impression and think that I didn't want him to move in. It wasn't me, after all, who thought this up in the first place. Well okay so I thought it up, but Quatre voiced it for me. I was just glad we would be riding the bikes back; I wouldn't have liked to try and make conversation with Mr. Talk-bad-kill-good Yuy for an hour and a half. He really hasn't changed. Oh well, can't have everything.

The prissy wench was standing at the door, a look on her face as if to say, "time is money, and you're not worth a cent." Quatre had helped me hire a van big enough to transport my stuff, furniture, knick knacks, electric stuff, etc, and she eyed it with a smile, obviously wondering how I was gonna fit everything into the tiny box apartment. 

"Oh yeah," I started, trying to be as friendly as I could while she stared at me like I was some crap on her shoe, "y'know how you said to inform you if I was getting a flatmate. Well, I'm telling you know. This is my flatmate, Heero Yuy."

Okay, so I did just want to say it out loud to make it official to the world that Heero Yuy liked me enough to spend more than an hour in my company.

"This is highly unorthodox Mr. Maxwell," the wench started gripping the keys to my apartment in her hand so tightly I thought that the blood would soon come gushing out, "you are supposed to give us at least three days notice before someone moves into our premises…"

"You didn't say that yesterday," I said a little testily. I just wanted to get Heero into the apartment before he changed his mind, and her pussy footing wasn't helping.

"Well I'm sorry but we can't just change our policies for any old person…"

She stopped suddenly, wavered and then faked a quick smile.

"Of course, ummm, I guess you could move your friend in as a guest while the, er, paperwork is taken care of," she swallowed and laughed nervously, pressing the keys into my hand.

I turned to give Heero and enquiring look, only to see him using his secret weapon on the unsuspecting sales woman, the evil Yuy death glare that can turn small children into stone, I tell ya. Now the woman's behaviour made sense. I half waved at her as she ran down the walkway to her car and screeched out of the car park.

"Lovely lady," I shrugged, grinning at Heero.

"Almost as annoying as you," Heero said staring at the cloud of dust she had left in her wake.

"Now that's insulting," I replied, fitting the key into the lock and twisting it until it clicked satisfyingly. My first day in my brand new apartment, with my brand new flatmate.

I knew that Duo was untidy. I had to put up with his dirty underwear turning up in the most unsavoury places and other such disgusting things when we shared dorms. So I was a little surprised at the fact that he was so fussy about where everything was placed in the apartment. His dark blue couch, after the old one found itself out in the street, was moved three times before the aggravated Duo gave up on it and left it haphazardly against the wall. I decided to sort it while he and the workmen from the removal van helped chuck everything in the bedroom and move in the washing machine, etc. Setting up the living room was easier than I thought. From the size of the van that Duo had hired, I thought that it would take hours to move all his junk. It turned out, however, that there was only a couch, a television, a side table, music centre and a box of keepsakes destined for the living room.

I sat myself down on the surprisingly bouncy couch, considering it belonged to Duo and he probably jumped on it, and listened to him fuss with every object in the apartment. Finally, after another hour of grunts and groans from the workmen, and hastily shouted orders from Duo, there was peace and quiet which I welcomed gratefully. The workmen had left, and now only Duo and I were in the apartment together…alone. Why do I still feel lonely?

"Heero, don't just sit on your ass, give me a hand with this will ya?" Duo shouted from the bedroom.

I pushed myself up from the comfy leather, the strange feeling of emptiness still clinging to me, and couldn't help but sigh at what I found in the bedroom. Duo was balancing a falling table with his leg while simultaneously trying to move his bed. Every time he tried to lower the bed he wobbled and the little picture frame on the table slid a little more. I should have smiled; it's what any normal person would have done. I should have helped him; it's what any normal person would have done. I should never have left him alone; I should never have left myself alone to face this. I shoved these futile thoughts to the back of my mind, Duo's voice bringing me back to the present.

"Well are you gonna just stand there," he blinked, laughing a little nervously, very unlike him, "or are you gonna help me?"

"I'm still deciding," I replied, beginning to enjoy myself. The sadistic side of my personality had broken through at last, as usually happened when something worried me or made me think too hard about something that should be left alone. I suppose it was a sort of defence that kicked in when I couldn't hold up the Perfect Soldier mask any longer, something that had matured over the two years I had been alone. Something that definitely should never have been allowed to grow.

"Hey, Heero!" Duo gave me an odd look and wobbled a little, his voice wavering a little as he stared into my eyes, "just take the damn table."

"Or what?" I smirked. I felt something inside me tighten; I thought I could hear someone shout from far away, it tightened a little more. But I kept on smirking, my darkness taking a stronger hold. I watched Duo more closely. I was about to laugh outright in his face when I heard the voice shout again, louder this time.

"Tomeru!" [1]

There would be no peace here. Just what I needed…just what "it" needed.

"Nani!?" Dou's voice again ripped through my dark little thoughts, the concern leaving it letting the agitation show, "stop lurking in that weird little mind of yours and catch the table or I'll have to drop it on you!"

I didn't move. My smirk grew to a sneer. I didn't want this, not now, not Duo. I couldn't hurt him, I couldn't hide…not…not now. The dark had become second nature to me, but when it got a hold on the light, it wouldn't let go without a fight. And I didn't want it, never wanted this...any of it. Never the blood, never. I didn't even move when the table slammed against my shin, insignificant pain. The small glint of light that flashed before my knee caught my eye and as my reflexes kicked in my hand was instantly around the small object before I even registered what it was. I brought it up to look at it, anything to take my mind off memories. Unfortunately all that presented itself was the picture frame that had been on the table, and more memories. Or to be more precise a lack of memories. The picture in the delicate little frame had obviously been taken after the Mariemaeia incident. Quatre was sitting upright in a pristine hospital bed, a smile on his face that showed his bravery most of all. Trowa sat on his right, his arm around the young blond, Wufei on Quatre's left, his arms folded across his chest but still smile gracing his lips. Then there was Duo, doing a good job of filling up the bottom half of the picture with his wide grin and both hands raised in the world renound gesture of peace and victory. I drank in every last detail, trying to ignore the distinctly obvious lack of my presence. I looked again at Duo's enthusiasm, envy forcing itself into my mind. The dark gained another foothold, I ignored it.

"Quatre didn't take long to recover," Duo's voice swam into my ears, all trace of anger gone, "the wound wasn't severe, and the scar isn't even that visible anymore. It kind of upset him though, having something permanent on his body to remind him of the war, something he couldn't get rid of. Couldn't get him to go swimming for months," Duo chuckled slightly at the memory, "but he got over it, like we all did. Trowa helped him a lot."

I didn't look at Duo. Like we all did? Oh Duo, you just don't know, you could never know.

"Hn," was all I could grunt out in the end. –I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, all of you.-

"Right," Duo smiled, obviously seeing I was back to my old self again, "by the way, you're taking the couch."

"Huh?" I frowned, the sudden change of subject fully tearing me away from my own thoughts.

"Tonight, until we get you a bed, you're gonna have to take the couch, kay?" Duo said over his shoulder as he walked from the room, "since you think it's so comfy to sit on and watch your flatmate slave from."

"Fine," I answered, no trace of emotion, just like it was supposed to be.

"Oh yeah," Duo continued to chatter as he walked into the living room and flicking through some things in a random box, "I'm gonna get take out since the kitchen's all out of order and I can't be bothered cooking anyways, so what do you want?"

"Anything," I replied slumping down on the couch.

"Cool, I get to choose," Duo stroked his chin so as to fake thought and then clicked his fingers unconvincingly, "then it's pizza."

He swung around quickly making his braid bounce off the wall like a bungee rope, "hope you don't mind!"

"Iie," I said flatly, turning on the television. As long as I wasn't alone, nothing really mattered.

[1] Tomeru = stop

AN: The plot thickens *evil smirk*! I'll dive into Heero's whereabouts during his absence later, and it isn't going to be pretty I can tell you! Please R&R!