A/N: Hello. I haven't written anything decent in a while- so if it sucks, i'd be glad if you didn't throw tomatoes or something of the likes. Oh yeah, i made up some stuf... so its loik... 1/100 AU
Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto [otherwise this wouldn't be fanfiction, now would it?] nor do I own "Somewhere I Belong" Both the anime and the song belong to their respective owners.
Warning: nothing much, the teeniest, tiniest bit of angst and nothing else
by: nettograf
When this began
Naruto looked up at the sky from his position on the ground and sighed. It was raining. Naruto didn't like the rain, because it made him wet when he had lots of clothes on and soaked him to the bone. It was gloomy and dark, the opposite of his sunny disposition with his bright blond hair and eyes so intense they looked like electricity. The worst thing about when it rained, Naruto thought, was when everyone would run back into their houses for shelter and the streets would be left dark and empty at night, with the exception of a few people who loved the rain or had missions.
Now, he was lying on the ground after a long day of training; muddy, and bleeding from his hands. He stared up at the sky disdainfully as he watched small drops of rain become larger and larger before they hit him with a tiny "splash".
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
It was days like these that made him feel crappy... A day where Sakura ignored him, where he'd get insulted and beaten by Sasuke, and 'tsk'-ed at by Kakashi-sensei. Iruka-sensei was busy with classes and Konohamaru was nowhere to be found so he had no one to spend his time with today. To his bad luck, he left his money at home and had to spend the whole day hungry until tomorrow. He was too tired now... His throat was raw from screaming and yelling and his hands were bleeding from when he released his anger by punching trees ever since he left Team Seven's usual training spot.
Right now, he was spent... he was tired... and he was alone.
I was confused
He usually wouldn't do things like this, but today was a bad day. It was one of those days when the people who meant most to him weren't feeling well and blamed their problems on him. Sakura had been yelled at by her father today because of her 'weaknesses' and she bottled up the hurt and anger inside herself. When Naruto said something to Sasuke, she got annoyed and released her wrath on him. He didn't understand. Sometimes, Sakura-chan would try to be nice to him, but sometimes she'd be so cruel.
And I'd let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Sasuke, of course, was his usual self, but today he was a little more irritable when Sakura had snapped at Naruto. Sasuke, Naruto knew, had more respect for him than he had for Sakura because Sakura had yet to feel true pain, and if she did, she was missing that tainted darkness in her eyes that would show if she did. Sasuke had been a little friendlier to him these past few days for some odd reason, but he still said hurtful things.
Inside of me
Naruto figured he could just blame it all on the Kyuubi inside of him, but he knew it wasn't the fox's fault. Wouldn't you be enraged if some ninjas came by to impale your children for their fur? The ninjas of Konoha didn't want to do it, but they were low on money, and it was an A Ranked mission. Yondaime refused to do it, but some others decided to take it into their own hands. Naruto knew all of this already... but he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't fair that he was hated for these doings.
When all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
It was also a full moon, one night every month where Kyuubi would lie within him, sleeping and building an even greater charka reserve and healing some other wounds. Without the playful and somewhat sinister presence in the back of his mind, he vaguely recognized an even greater loneliness that swept over him.
Nothing to loose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own
He sighed. The fox was sleeping, so the usual odd presence in the back of his mind was gone- it made him feel even more empty. He didn't want to go home because no warmth awaited him- no friend or family to welcome him back; just defeaning silence.
I wanna heal
His hands had stopped bleeding a while ago, due to the Kyuubi's chakra, but he was still bleeding. Just not on the outisde.
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
He felt a little envious of everyone else... There were lots of times where he saw Sakura laugh with her mom; Konohamaru and Ebisu eating ice cream for a break; Kakashi and Sasuke training in the forest; Iruka tending to all the children; he saw a lot of those things. He sort of wished he could feel it too. He knew he had Iruka-sensei; but he was often busy.
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till its gone
Naruto sighed. For some odd reason, sighing sort of made him feel better; as if he was getting rid of some of the things that were bothering him. He lifted one of his hands and pounded lightly at his heart, wishing that the slight pounding would knock out the pain that often overwhelmed him.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
Going "home" wasn't really an option right now, especially with how he was feeling. Everyone says the home is where the heart is, but would that mean Naruto's was in an empty apartment with white washed walls and only a few plants as company?
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
He thought back to the times when he was a kid and a "caretaker" would come to his apartment every once in a while. The caretaker wasn't very nice, but she wasn't very mean either. She took care of him as if he was an annoying little cousin, minus the love. He would trip often back then, but for some odd reason, she'd be there to catch him. She didn't feel fondly of touching him, but she didn't want him to fall. He figured that it was her maternal instincts- he was only about 4-years old, after all.
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
He remembered the first time he was left to live on his own and he had went grocery shopping. Everyone gave him cold glares; the friendly looking children were ushered away by their parents and the people would shove him lightly. He had often looked out of his window to find all the people smiling and chatting merrily; the treatment he was recieving wasn't what he had imagined.
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me
It took him years and years to find out what he was. Mizuki-sensei, one of the teachers had tricked him. It was one of the worst, yet best days of his life. THat day, he found out that he was the Kyuubi. But he also found out that Iruka-sensei truly acknowledged him and he had found out why the villagers would look at him with such cold eyes. It made it just a little bit more bearable, though he firmly kept in mind; he was not the Kyuubi. He was Uzumaki Naruto.
Nothing to loose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own
He supposed that life had gotten a lot better after that. He met his team, he became a genin, and some people started to acknowledge him. He supposed that some people hated him because he was annoying and that was his fault. But at least they acknowledged him as a good prankster.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
He lifted his hand a little to look at it. The rain was washing the blood off, leaving nothing but a small tanned hand with no scars. Naruto clenched his fist and swore to become Hokage; he swore to become acknowledged. The same pledge he had made when he was only a small child; when Sandaime would tell him stories and tell him about the four Hokages.
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
He smiled a little at the memory. He had climbed up to the top of the Hokage mountain with a rolled up piece of paper to magnify his voice at around 4 A.M. in the morning and shouted to the village that he'd become hokage.
And I will never feel
Anything else, until my wounds are healed
The villagers had chased him down screaming obsceneties while their children looked out the window with bright eyes, laughing at the many adults passing by in funny looking pajamas. It was a good day. Everyone had noticed him; even though it wasn't the best kind of attention in the world. He didn't think that there was a much greater pain than being ignored anyway; he was 5 at the time.
I will never be anything
till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today
Naruto unclenched his fist and straightened his arm, once more staring at the sky. To any passer-byer, he would look like he was reaching out for something. An angel, perhaps, or maybe anything that was willing to acknowledge him and help him back onto his feet once again. He laid there for a long long time, hand outstretched as if he was reaching for something, eyes slightly glazed and staring at the dreary skies.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I wanna heal
I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal
I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
To say he was surprised when a pale hand grasped his was an understatment. When the same hand, connected to an arm, pulled him up to his feet, he was still so shocked he almost tumbled over and fell again. When he was fully standing, the hand let go and he looked up to see Sasuke looked at him with a quirked brow, as if saying, "What the hell are you doing out here, dobe?" But he snorted instead, as if finding his own answer. Naruto was a "dobe" after all, in his eyes. Wordlessly, Sasuke threw a spare umbrella at him and started to walk away.
"Iruka is waiting for you at your apartment. He's worried sick. Go home." He tossed over his shoulder before he disappeared.
Somewhere I belong
Naruto smiled faintly, and shook his head to dispel some of the water in his hair before opening the umbrella and running home.
This was created on July 24, 2004. Due to my laziness, I finished it off on August 23, 2004. .. I'm such a bum.
Anyway, I haven't written anything decent in a while, so i decided to click on my latest unfinished story and ... well... finish it to the best of my ability and wah-lah! This is what i got. It's not the
best, but, oh well.
tell me what you think? constructive criticism welcome