I don't quite know what it was that made me want to write an A-Team fanfic or where this utterly stupid plot came from. I'm pretty sure it was fuelled by spending the first half of my life wanting to be Murdock and the next half realising that this ambition had, without my knowing, already been achieved. I might not have the leather jacket, baseball cap and receding hairline, hell I'm not even a man! Nevertheless inside my head lurks the mind of a sane man pretending to be insane to hide his sanity from those unfortunate enough not to share his insanity. If ya catch my drift…….

Anyway hope you enjoy the story and I'll try and update as soon as I stop being lazy!

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the A-Team characters. I do however own me……..I think……….

'God this is boring………'

'Oh my GOD this is sooooooo boring!'

'Damn it, my one day off in the whole bloody week and I get pestered into going to a bloody garden centre. Stupid mum and her crazy obsession with garden ornaments. I swear if I see another painted gnome with a fishing rod or another stone Bambi I'm gonna take a sledge hammer to it.'

Out aloud though I said a completely different thing……

"Mum, we've been here for 2 hours. How much longer can you stare at these things? Plus you know, the whole plants mixed with my hay fever is gonna turn real ugly if we stay here any longer."

"What do you think about this?" My mum said completely ignoring my pleas and picking up a little stone puppy. I bit my bottom lip to stop from exploding. In a very low, calm voice I started to explain,

"You picked up the exact same statue an hour and a half ago. I told you that it was sweet and that you should take it. You didn't think it was small enough to fit between the lavender and the carnations. Mum, we've been round this garden centre 5 times now. I'm pretty sure you've looked at every pebble and piece of bark in this place."

"Yes I know, but maybe it would fit in." She moved it around in her hands. "No actually it probably won't." Laying it back down on the shelf, she looked up at me "I can't see anything else that I'd like. Maybe we should go home."

Relief washed over me. Finally, I got to go home and enjoy the rest of the day lying out in the back garden sunbathing. Now I know what you might be thinking. Spending the only day I get off lounging around in the sun when I could be doing something far more thrilling with my time sounds like a pretty stupid plan. But hey, I'm lazy and actually seeing the sun in Scotland never mind it being hot enough to lounge under is a very, very rare thing. So I make the most of it while I can. Anyway back to the story.

Without another word I headed straight for the exit. My mum started to follow me too until I heard those infamous last words. "Oh wait a minute." Suddenly like a flash she was down crouching by a group of little stone figures. "I haven't seen these before!"

'Damn it!' I thought to myself, 'And I was so close……that's it! No more, I am so outta here.' I walked over to my mum as she sorted through all the little stone frogs and squirrels and said in a very resolute tone of voice,

"Okay I'm going home now!"

"Okay"

"That's it?" I could barely keep the look of shock from my face. My mum drew her eyes away from inspecting a fairy statue long enough to give me a little puzzled frown.

"What do you mean 'is that it'?" Her eyes went from me back to the figurine "You could have gone home whenever you wanted to. I didn't force you to come here."

I just stood and stared at her, my mouth gaping open. How could she….I mean…….honestly…I just…….man, could that woman frustrate me! I tried to speak but nothing came out of my mouth, she'd just flabbergasted me. I also became strangely aware that I must have look like a fish out of water, standing there with my eyes bulging out my head and my mouth opening and closing silently. With a large sigh I gave up defeated. Turning away from my mum I headed towards the exit without a word. Just as I reached the gates I heard my mum's voice shouting from behind me.

"Oh and when you get in can you hang out the washing?"

I paused for a moment and then walk out of the gates without a reply. Luckily for me though the garden centre was only a fifteen minute walk from my home. Cutting through one of the fields I walked along one of my favourite paths. It was pretty well worn down by the constant use, winding down through field after field. My nose started to itch but to be honest I'd been tempting fate all day by hanging around plants so I wasn't surprised when I started to sneeze. As the sneezing fit took hold and I'd started to wish that I'd taken along more hankies, I heard a strange humming sound coming from the distance.

Looking up I could make out a small aircraft flying across the fields with a large stream of smoke bellowing out behind it. I watched, fascinated, as it slowly began to descend, coming closer and closer to where I was standing. What was fascination though, suddenly turned to fear as I realised that the plane was heading straight for me, the sound of its propeller becoming almost deafening. For a second before I hit the ground I could've sworn that I heard a frantic voice shouting about the no smoking sign being illuminated during landing. As my shoulder and head both hit something incredibly hard and jagged I began to think that it was a very stupid thing to say, as the plane was already smoking, but all those technicalities fell away with the propeller blades into darkness.

Okay that's it. My first chapter is up. So what do ya'll think? Nice little authentic insight into my boring old life. Well apart from the aeroplane, but that doesn't happen often……