The Three Edketeers: A warped legend!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this computer and my soul; though I cant really see its value. The soul, I mean.

Summary: the Eds, Sarah and Kevin Out one night, and a wish changes their lives. What happens when you stick 5 teens inside a foreign land and complex plot, make them fight monsters 15X their size, and all through it have no parents? A big ol' mess of emotions. Sarah's temper flares, the ed's rise as heroes, Kevin shows his dark side and through it all, they have no hope of survival, unless they stick together! get ugly.

Chapter one: Madness and Mailboxes

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!" Eddy yelled as he kicked their 'personal T.V'

It was their latest scam that once again, as eddy proclaimed, the greatest scam in the world. They took a cardboard box, cut a rectangle in the front, cut a tiny hole in the back, and then (I love this part) stuck a frog and a twig inside, and covered the front most rectangle with plastic wrap.

They almost got away with it, until big Ed Punched a hole in the plastic and stuck a dead fly in there to erm...feed the log. The kids got their money back, and much to the dismay of Double D, he kicked down the little dealership.

"ED!!! YOU IDIOT! YOU IGNORAMUS! YOU-"Eddy was cut off from his insanely loud insults toward their big lug, by the big lug himself"-pineapple?" he said in his blissfully idiotic tone.

"NO!!!!!!" Eddy yelled, obviously infuriated. Double D thought he was going to have a conniption, and probably a couple of puppies while he was at it. Double D merely chuckled at the thought, sitting on the sidewalk, looking into the sky; And for some strange reason, Sighing. Double D had been Reading some dark poetry lately, mostly the works of Read Douglas, the esteemed Gothic expert, and he really saw the world in a different light now. But it didn't matter to talk about it, He doubted his friends ability-or should he say lack of ability- to comprehend him anyway.

Double D suddenly felt a sharp pain on the back of his head. He turned to see eddy, still seething. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY SOCKHEAD?!DO YOU LIKE SEEING US FAIL AT EVERY EVANDER WE DO!?!?"

Double D just sighed "that's endeavor, Eddy" he mumbled to himself. "No eddy, Believe me when I say I am just as disappointed as you." He said. He spotted one of their PTV's on the ground "And anyway, that's no reason to throw things."

Suddenly, they heard their big friend pipe up "Awwww, Eddy, Why can't I be a pineapple? I want to be a pineapple because Ed wants to be a good best ever pineapple ever to be good as best Ed knows." He said, crossing his arms and nodding emphatically.

Once again, the small distant screech of an eagle could be heard. Eddy mumbled something about hating birds

After an awkward five-minute silence, Eddy was the first to speak. "WHATS THE POINT OF IT ALL!?!?" he said, kicking a mailbox."AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!" He screamed, no more like Destroyed middle airspace, and to no ones surprise, started hopping up and down, and yelling Curse words. In the middle of Eddy's ranting, they heard a door slam."-CKER OF MONKEY STOMACHS!!!!!" Eddy screamed, and was greeted by a familiar foreign enforcer" ED-BOYS!!!" Rolf yelled, which made all their heads snap around. Double D just rolled his eyes.

"YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE SACRED AND TRANQUIL FEEDING OF THE SOW!! CONTINUE TO DO SO AND ROLF WILL BE FORCED TO INFORCE HIS COTTON WILL!!!"Rolf yelled, the great fire of the sea cucumber flare in his eyes

"Sure, sure Rolf." Eddy sighed. He wasn't ready to deal with Rolf right now.

"APOLOGIZE TO THE SOW, INFADEL!" Rolf raged

"I, humble peasant Eddy apologize to the mighty spirits of the sow, for disturbing their feeding "Eddy said sarcastically, hooking Rolf with every word. "Apology accepted, Ed-boy" Rolf said, calm once more. As he was walking away, though, eddy helped himself to rolfs wallet." Smiling deviously, he opened it to find a disappointed 2$ and 6 strips of bacon. Ed helped himself to the bacon. Eddy sighed. Double D began to open his mouth when eddy cut him off" I know double D, he will beat the crud out of me tomorrow for taking his money-"Ed leaned in "don't forget the bacon" he said in a surprisingly Serious tone. Double D and even eddy had to snicker at their friend. Eddy continued" for taking his money. But best to not think of it, you know?" eddy said, lying down on the sidewalk. "Hey guys...when did it get so dark?" Ed said. (0o) They had been so caught up in their...business that they failed to notice the ebony sky crept over them. "Oh my" Double D said, looking at the sky. Eddy got up "lets go back to my pad, boys" he said with a newfound happiness. As he strode towards his extremely tacky and over-stimulated room, he happened to stub his toe on the same mailbox again. He opened his mouth to scream, but remembered Rolf, so instead just grit his teeth.

Ed snarled, enraged "Fiend! No one attacks Ed's friend like that and gets away with it!" he yelled to the mailbox. Eddy and Double d just eyed him "fear Ed!' he said firmly to the mailbox, and then charged it, hitting it with his head. "Ed! Stop! You could cause some major neural...oh what do I care" Double D said, depressed. Eddy shrugged" I got time double D. lumpy isn't gonna be done for a while. Whats up?

"Its just...well, I've been reading Read Douglas's works, and he makes some good points.."

"Feel the power of my holy weapon, fiend!"

"Never heard of him? What does he...um...do?"

"Fear my cotton will!"

"Well...he says that in this lifetime, in our reality, there's nothing special anymore..."

"I see your tactics and they will not work, demon!" Ed said as a letter almost gave hive a paper cut after he beat it out of the mailbox

"I can see his point. Sometimes, when I play video games, I pretend I'm IN them. It's a lot more fun that way. "Eddy said callously

"That's surprisingly deep eddy" double D said, surprised

" Meh. You never really know double D" eddy said, smiling that for once, HE impressed double D

"I grow tired of your...um...you! Prepare to be guesstamated!" Ed said, eyes narrowed as he smashed his head through the mailbox.

Double D suddenly became aware of Ed's...activity" Ed, not again!" "Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs" Ed stated, becoming his usual ignorant self again. A Dark shadow was cast upon the sidewalk as the demon child (guess who?) Sarah (well that was very hard) Stomped towards the innocent little Eds, That trademark angry face slapped on her mug" ED!!!" she yelled as Eddy and Double D held their ears. "MOM SAYS YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE FOR TRYING TO SCAM ME OUTTA MY ALLOWANCE!!!" She said, a triumphant grin pasted on her face. "GET BACK TO THE HOUSE, ED!! YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!!" Ed put on his sad face, hung his head in shame (still through the mailbox) and managed to shovel out In a sad tone "ok baby sister, ed is coming." Ed said (0o), Trying to push his stuck cranium out of the government property. Five minutes later "ED, HURRY UP!" Sarah said, tapping her foot on the ground as big Ed still was trying to weasel his way put of the mailbox. In another 3 minutes, Sarah heaved an angry sigh and went over to help Ed, or as he self proclaimed, the mailbox creature from planet Slugstamp.

Just when eddy thought, because of Sarah's screeching, this situation couldn't get more annoying (and we all know when a person thinks it cant get worse...) Kevin showed up on his reliable bike that he somehow always carried with him. Must have 'Deep pockets'. "What're you dorks doing out this late? Ain't it passed your bedtimes?" he said in his usual smug tone. (God, I want to punch him) And to make matters worse, the lamp above them burned out, in a sudden blink. Kevin sneered, "what did you dorks do?" he said, nodding up to the light.

Eddy clenched his teeth" we did do nothing you monkey!" He went up to the lamppost. He figured, his toe is already broken, thanks to that stupid mailbox (I like saying that word for some reason) his toe was already broken, so what the heck. He gave the lamppost a big ol' boot. The lamppost surged to life, and the arguing started. Kevin smiled "oooh, you fixed what you broke? Would you like a round of applause, or your mommy?" he said, with that snobby voice that just makes people snap. "I didn't break it, you stupid chimp!" eddy yelled. Sarah finally snapped when she still couldn't get Ed out "ED, YOU STUPID JERK! HURRY UP, JIMMYS WAITING ON ME!!" ed smiled "LONDON BRIDGES FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN!" The arguing between the enraged children went on for three minutes.

Double D just stared at the sky. He glanced over; Ed's head was now inside the mailbox, still not out yet. Eddy was still arguing with Kevin, and Sarah was still cursing at Ed. Double D held his ears, mumbling something about idiots all around him, and looked up at the sky. They failed to notice, however, the lamppost eddy kicked was slowly getting brighter, almost luminous. Double D took one last look at the sky before standing up, and though under his breath, thought out loud "I wish we could live in a place better than this. A place where there's more to life than possessions..." he said with that familiar wishing face on. That's when he noticed it was getting hard to see with all the light. He turned around just as the light swallowed all 5 of the dysfunction motley crew. The last thing that was heard was Kevin, yelling his predictable insult. "Dorks!" they al heard from somewhere the couldn't see. The last thing they saw was brilliant light, and then blackness. When the lamppost light faded, there was trace of any of the children, except Kevin's bike.

AN: Well I know that was very very short, but I want to see if anyone's even interested in this before I go on. If I got one positive review, ill continue. This is my first fic ever, and all flames are accepted. I want to know what to improve on. Sorry if any of the characters are slightly OOC, but I needed to establish a base. I'll try hard to make them in character if I continue with the story. Oh yeah, and Read Douglas is a friend of mine.