A/N: Hey everybody! I was in the mood to write a sad fic, so I wrote this little one shot. I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful reviews to the last chapter of I Saw Sparks. You guys are seriously amazing! I love you! Enjoy this one shot! Read and Review! Thanks.
Strange How Hard It Rains
I sit alone on the ledge of a frosty window. The night is cold, and my breath makes puffs of white on the clear glass. I breathe in and out slowly, trying to take in all the air I can. A tear slips down, and I quickly brush it away. Rain pours down outside the window in torrents, making the world seem blurred. That's how my world feels. Blurred, like nothing is in focus anymore. And the problem is, I don't know how to right it again. Nothing makes any sense, and everything is confusing. Things that were, have all changed. I don't have one constant in my life anymore. What I wouldn't give to go back in time. To a year or so ago, before any of this happened. Before life got so complicated.
My matted red hair sticks to the moisture on my face, and I pull it from my view. The room is empty, and I am alone. Literally, and emotionally. No matter how many people surround me now, all I feel is emptiness. One so intense that it feels as if it's causing physical pain. I remember back to when times were simpler. When I was happy. But I was never really happy. I hid myself from everyone, hoping that if I didn't show what I was really like, I wouldn't be at risk of getting hurt. But now I have been, and I wished I'd never opened up. But then I think of the happier times. All the moments that I wouldn't trade for anything. All the specific points in time that changed me, and made me who I am today. If I hadn't experienced them, life would be different. I just wish it didn't have to be this way.
My heart feels as if it's bleeding. Slowly the blood is seeping from some wound obscure to the human eye. I feel heavy, weighted down. Like nothing will ever feel good again. I hope that isn't true. I hope that with all my heart, whatever is left of it. I press myself against the glass, trying to feel some of its cool relief. But I shiver when the frozen window touches my face. My finger traces patterns in the fog. Pictures of a boy and girl, holding hands and smiling. Roses, hearts, fairies, words, they all appear from the end of my finger. Soon the whole window is drawn on. But slowly they fade and the glass returns to normal. All the beauty that was once there has gone away. And I'm left there with nothing.
I remember the night it happened. I was sitting in the common room, a fire blazing in front of me. He walked up, looking amazing as ever. That familiar jet-black hair was falling messily about his face. His green eyes shone in the firelight. But there was something else in the eyes that I had come to love with all of my heart. There was sadness, emptiness, and exhaustion. He walked up to me, and took my hands.
"Before I say this, I just want you to know that I care for you so much."
"Okay." I replied meekly.
"I can't be with you anymore. The times we spent together were amazing, and I would never take that away. But I just don't think we should be together anymore." He said sadly.
I said nothing. I was in shock. The force of his words hit me like a sledgehammer. Tears began to form in my eyes. But I leaned in and gave him one last kiss. A kiss for goodbye. I pulled away slowly, and turned my back on the one person I had ever loved with all my heart. On the walk up to the dormitory, tears finally began streaming from my eyes. Rivers of sadness flowed from me. Maybe that first time I cried some of me left my body. A piece of my heart left with it. I stand up and walk over to my bed. Climbing under it, I reach for a small box. Once I have grabbed it, I pull it from beneath my bed. Slowly, I lift the lid. In it are all the memories I have created with him. Pictures smile up at me from the top of the pile. Pictures that show better times. I see my favorite one of him. He's sitting under a tree outside the grounds, and I captured his profile. He's half smiling, and looks at peace. But I know he really isn't. It's all an illusion, a trick of the mind. He has more things on his mind than most people should. Certainly too much for a boy of seventeen. I wish it didn't have to be that way for him.
One memory keeps flooding my thoughts. It was early Saturday morning, and of all a sudden there was a knock on the dormitory door. I opened it up, messy hair and all, to see him standing there. He had an enormous smile on his face, and a look of happiness. I grinned back at him, wanting to look at his smile for all of eternity. Taking my hand, he led me downstairs, and out through the portrait hole. It was still dark, and the moon still hung in the sky. We walked to our favorite tree and sat down beneath it. He stretched out his fingers, and intertwined them with mine. His lips brushed against my hand as he brought them up to his perfect mouth. We sat in peaceful silence listening to the sounds of the early morning, and holding each other close. Finally the sun began to rise, setting the world aglow. Our faces were lit in the early morning light, making everything seem sun-dappled and perfect. He leaned over, and whispered in my ear.
"I love you Ginny."
I smiled and leaned closer to him. My lips brushed against his ear as I whispered in return.
"I love you too Harry."
He brings his soft lips to mine, and I lose myself in the moment. My arms are around his neck, holding him tight. I never want to let go. We break away, and he brushes a hand across my cheek. We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. I then lowered my head and buried myself into his neck. We held each other for a while, and then when the time came, walked hand in hand back up to the castle.
A tear slides down my face as I recall all the things we've been through. It doesn't seem quite fair. Us being torn apart by this terrible thing called war. Harry hasn't been the same for months. I could see something dead in his eyes, something that wasn't there before. And now it's taken over him. At least that's what I like to tell myself. I like to think that's why he broke my heart. I don't like to think it's because he fell out of love with me. But something deep inside me, a mean nagging voice, tells me that he didn't love me anymore. I wish I could go back. Try to change things. Maybe if I had rejected Harry when he told me he had feelings for me, maybe I wouldn't have had my heart broken. But I know that would have been worse. I would have always wondered. Wonder if he felt for me. I would have tortured myself over it everyday. And even though this pain is so intense, I wouldn't change all the happy memories we shared. All the perfect moments. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
It's still raining outside. Something in me wants to leave this room, and venture outside. So I do. I race through the corridors, hoping no one sees me. I bolt through the entrance doors and run outside into the pouring rain. Water droplets collect on my skin, as my clothes are soaked through. But I don't care. All the pain I've felt, everything I've kept inside is being released. It's all washing away from me. For the first time in months I am at peace. I feel as if I can finally move on. Soon, or someday. And in this moment everything is all right again.
A/N: A little sad isn't it? I hope you liked it! :)