Part XIV: A Poison Called Power
The night ended in slow agony. The morning came, and the soldiers returned, but they had no prisoners. The young guard who'd been left to guard me had gotten the tale of the attack out of me, though he never asked why we were out so late or where our bodyguards were. He didn't really seem to care why we were there, just what happened afterwards. He was a strangely sour young man, though I suppose having to miss the battle had irked him. Scarab arrived with the healers, as did the captain of the guards. Unlike the young guard, they wanted to know why we were out so late. I admitted Amenutept had found a way to slip out so we could be alone. The captain complained something about there being plenty of places to be alone in the palace and the foolishness of a pharoah in love, but he left it at that. Scarab was strangely silent, though he stayed by my side the rest of the day.
The healers did not emerge from the barracks until night had set in. Several times the soldiers and Scarab had offered me food, but the thought only turned my stomach. My side, not that long from healing itself, still ached from the exertions of the night before, and my mind was filled with worried thoughts. When the healers emereged, I could barely contain myself from not jumping on them and shaking out answers. As it turned out, with Scarab there, they would not escape without telling the full story. I was grateful to my future husband's advisor for that.
The healer's said that the soldier's had done well, but that some of the poison had found it's way into his bloodstream before we'd gotten to the barracks. They'd done what they could, and would continue to help. The rest, though, was up to Amenutept. He was safe to be taken back to the palace. The captain of the guards wanted to take him back, but Scarab intervened. Perhaps discretion would be best right now. If the people saw Amenutept carried through the streets in his present state.
I left the two of them to argue the point, and asked the healers if I could see him. He nodded, and one of the younger healers led me into the barracks. The captain had given over his room to the Pharoah. I don't remember terribly much about it. Amenutept's face, pale and damp with sweat, was all I could see. He was still, too still, and I found myself placing my hand on his breast to insure that it still beat. "Please, wake up..." I whispered, but he did not respond.
"He has withdrawn inside to battle the poison, Lady." The healer told me, and I could only nod. I reached out for his hand, taking it in mine. It was so limp, so lifeless. I hadn't cried when we'd first gotten to the barrracks. I hadn't cried all day as we waited for the news on his fate. Yet now hot tears made their way down my face to splash on his hand as I held it. "Live, damn you. Live." I found myself ordering him. The healer looked a little taken back.
"I'll leave you two alone..." They exited.
I don't know how long it was later when Scarab entered. I'd stopped crying, but it could have been only a matter of minutes. Or it could have been hours. "He will remain here until his recovery."
"If he recovers, you mean..." I said, and my voice sounded strangely empty. That shook me. Was it only a day or so ago I'd lied empty in my bed? Listless and uncaring. I wouldn't fall back on that...I would not fall back on that! I forced myself to stand and face him. "No, he'll recover." My voice suddenly sounded fierce. "He will." "My chariot is ready, I can take you back to the palace-"
"No." I interrupted. "I'm staying here with him."
"But, Lady, surely-"
"No arguements." I told him, almost as surprised as him at the command. Command...I was commanding him. The advisor to the Pharaoh, and I was commanding him. But then I was the future Pharoahess. What had Scarab said at our first meeting? I was going to be the most powerful woman in Egypt. I felt unsteady, but I refused to back down. "I am staying by Amenutept's side. You return to the palace. Lead, as Amenutept would. I'll return when he does."
"And if he does not?" Scarab asked.
It should have been a warning. It should have told me all I needed to know. Why didn't it? Why did we trust Scarab so? "He will recover. He will return." I told him. The captain of the guards entered then, and suddenly I turned to him. "A spy."
He stared at me, and Scarab looked uncomfortable. "Lady?"
"There has to be a spy in the palace. No one knew we were going out that night - not even us. They had to have spotted us leaving and followed."
"And returned with your attackers." The captain finished. "Yes, we'd guessed that and are investigating who it might be."
I nodded, feeling foolish to have said anything now that I knew they'd already thought of it. But of course they had! They hadn't been worried sick about someone they loved...loved...strange, it was still such a new concept. I turned away to retake my seat by Amenutept's side. Scarab and the Captain left the room.
Why did time come into play in such a vague way in that part of my life? In that windowless room there was no day or night. How long was Amenutept unconscious? The scribe's will no doubt have it written in their records. For me, I knew only that it was too long. But the first day had been too long already. I left his side rarely. I took my meals in that room. Eventually the healers brought in another cot so I could sleep there, too.
I remember being furious at him as well as worried, and somewhere along the line it hit me that this was how he had felt when I'd been shot. This was why he'd been so angry. The look in my father's eyes when he spoke to me that night. I recognized then where I'd seen it before - Amenutept's eyes during our arguement. He'd been mad with concern. Angry at my foolishness. As I was now at his. He should have known better than to take us out of the palace alone like that! His gift of allowing me to ride the wind was worth nothing if I lost him. "Live, damn you...live..." How often did I speak those words to him? The healers must have been sick of hearing me say it.
It happened unexpectedly. I'd fallen asleep in the chair next to his bed, holding his hand. I was awoken by something, and when I stirred, and went to pull my hand back I couldn't. My eyes shot open, and I found myself looking into Amenutept's. For a moment I was frozen in time. I couldn't think. Couldn't move.
"Did you steal any chariots while I was unconscious?" I don't think I spoke even then, though a cry left my lips. I flung myself onto the bed, hugging him as best I could since he was laying down. I may have choked out his name then, I'm not sure.
"Don't cry, Yshta...no tears."
"You...you idiot! What were you thinking? If you hadn't taken us out. If you hadn't been set on being so heroic! You could have died! And for what!"
He didn't reply, but he circled my waist with his arms, holding me tightly.
It would still take nearly a month for Amenutept to recover his strength. He insisted on staying in the soldier's barracks. He would return to his people whole, not weakened. To see him weak would weaken them as well. He tried to convince me to go back to the Palace, but I refused. I would not be parted from him.
Our return would be a sharp contrast to the secrecy in which we left. The people's god was returning to them after a long absence. A festival was called for, a parade through the streets to the palace so the people could see for themselves that the Pharoah was alive and well. And I was by his side, and I knew that despite how ridiculous it felt to be paraded, that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Scarab welcomed us back, but his welcome seemed almost subdued to me. A strange feeling gnawed at me, a suspicion. I remembered the guard's words about advisor's loyalties being bought. But Amenutept didn't seem to think Scarab's welcome tepid, and I convinced myself it was my imagination. I was still a peasant girl, Amenutept was the noble. Surely he would suspect long before I did if someone was disloyal. Besides, no doubt being Pharaoh for a month had suited Scarab's like of power just fine. Few indeed would not find such a taste of power enjoyable. But having the full weight of it was far different than a mere taste, and more than one person has learned power is not so enjoyable when it was forced on them. I hoped it was so with Scarab.
Yshta
To Be Concluded...
Which isn't as easy as it sounds. Figuring out where to end this was really difficult. --'
Salmon
The night ended in slow agony. The morning came, and the soldiers returned, but they had no prisoners. The young guard who'd been left to guard me had gotten the tale of the attack out of me, though he never asked why we were out so late or where our bodyguards were. He didn't really seem to care why we were there, just what happened afterwards. He was a strangely sour young man, though I suppose having to miss the battle had irked him. Scarab arrived with the healers, as did the captain of the guards. Unlike the young guard, they wanted to know why we were out so late. I admitted Amenutept had found a way to slip out so we could be alone. The captain complained something about there being plenty of places to be alone in the palace and the foolishness of a pharoah in love, but he left it at that. Scarab was strangely silent, though he stayed by my side the rest of the day.
The healers did not emerge from the barracks until night had set in. Several times the soldiers and Scarab had offered me food, but the thought only turned my stomach. My side, not that long from healing itself, still ached from the exertions of the night before, and my mind was filled with worried thoughts. When the healers emereged, I could barely contain myself from not jumping on them and shaking out answers. As it turned out, with Scarab there, they would not escape without telling the full story. I was grateful to my future husband's advisor for that.
The healer's said that the soldier's had done well, but that some of the poison had found it's way into his bloodstream before we'd gotten to the barracks. They'd done what they could, and would continue to help. The rest, though, was up to Amenutept. He was safe to be taken back to the palace. The captain of the guards wanted to take him back, but Scarab intervened. Perhaps discretion would be best right now. If the people saw Amenutept carried through the streets in his present state.
I left the two of them to argue the point, and asked the healers if I could see him. He nodded, and one of the younger healers led me into the barracks. The captain had given over his room to the Pharoah. I don't remember terribly much about it. Amenutept's face, pale and damp with sweat, was all I could see. He was still, too still, and I found myself placing my hand on his breast to insure that it still beat. "Please, wake up..." I whispered, but he did not respond.
"He has withdrawn inside to battle the poison, Lady." The healer told me, and I could only nod. I reached out for his hand, taking it in mine. It was so limp, so lifeless. I hadn't cried when we'd first gotten to the barrracks. I hadn't cried all day as we waited for the news on his fate. Yet now hot tears made their way down my face to splash on his hand as I held it. "Live, damn you. Live." I found myself ordering him. The healer looked a little taken back.
"I'll leave you two alone..." They exited.
I don't know how long it was later when Scarab entered. I'd stopped crying, but it could have been only a matter of minutes. Or it could have been hours. "He will remain here until his recovery."
"If he recovers, you mean..." I said, and my voice sounded strangely empty. That shook me. Was it only a day or so ago I'd lied empty in my bed? Listless and uncaring. I wouldn't fall back on that...I would not fall back on that! I forced myself to stand and face him. "No, he'll recover." My voice suddenly sounded fierce. "He will." "My chariot is ready, I can take you back to the palace-"
"No." I interrupted. "I'm staying here with him."
"But, Lady, surely-"
"No arguements." I told him, almost as surprised as him at the command. Command...I was commanding him. The advisor to the Pharaoh, and I was commanding him. But then I was the future Pharoahess. What had Scarab said at our first meeting? I was going to be the most powerful woman in Egypt. I felt unsteady, but I refused to back down. "I am staying by Amenutept's side. You return to the palace. Lead, as Amenutept would. I'll return when he does."
"And if he does not?" Scarab asked.
It should have been a warning. It should have told me all I needed to know. Why didn't it? Why did we trust Scarab so? "He will recover. He will return." I told him. The captain of the guards entered then, and suddenly I turned to him. "A spy."
He stared at me, and Scarab looked uncomfortable. "Lady?"
"There has to be a spy in the palace. No one knew we were going out that night - not even us. They had to have spotted us leaving and followed."
"And returned with your attackers." The captain finished. "Yes, we'd guessed that and are investigating who it might be."
I nodded, feeling foolish to have said anything now that I knew they'd already thought of it. But of course they had! They hadn't been worried sick about someone they loved...loved...strange, it was still such a new concept. I turned away to retake my seat by Amenutept's side. Scarab and the Captain left the room.
Why did time come into play in such a vague way in that part of my life? In that windowless room there was no day or night. How long was Amenutept unconscious? The scribe's will no doubt have it written in their records. For me, I knew only that it was too long. But the first day had been too long already. I left his side rarely. I took my meals in that room. Eventually the healers brought in another cot so I could sleep there, too.
I remember being furious at him as well as worried, and somewhere along the line it hit me that this was how he had felt when I'd been shot. This was why he'd been so angry. The look in my father's eyes when he spoke to me that night. I recognized then where I'd seen it before - Amenutept's eyes during our arguement. He'd been mad with concern. Angry at my foolishness. As I was now at his. He should have known better than to take us out of the palace alone like that! His gift of allowing me to ride the wind was worth nothing if I lost him. "Live, damn you...live..." How often did I speak those words to him? The healers must have been sick of hearing me say it.
It happened unexpectedly. I'd fallen asleep in the chair next to his bed, holding his hand. I was awoken by something, and when I stirred, and went to pull my hand back I couldn't. My eyes shot open, and I found myself looking into Amenutept's. For a moment I was frozen in time. I couldn't think. Couldn't move.
"Did you steal any chariots while I was unconscious?" I don't think I spoke even then, though a cry left my lips. I flung myself onto the bed, hugging him as best I could since he was laying down. I may have choked out his name then, I'm not sure.
"Don't cry, Yshta...no tears."
"You...you idiot! What were you thinking? If you hadn't taken us out. If you hadn't been set on being so heroic! You could have died! And for what!"
He didn't reply, but he circled my waist with his arms, holding me tightly.
It would still take nearly a month for Amenutept to recover his strength. He insisted on staying in the soldier's barracks. He would return to his people whole, not weakened. To see him weak would weaken them as well. He tried to convince me to go back to the Palace, but I refused. I would not be parted from him.
Our return would be a sharp contrast to the secrecy in which we left. The people's god was returning to them after a long absence. A festival was called for, a parade through the streets to the palace so the people could see for themselves that the Pharoah was alive and well. And I was by his side, and I knew that despite how ridiculous it felt to be paraded, that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Scarab welcomed us back, but his welcome seemed almost subdued to me. A strange feeling gnawed at me, a suspicion. I remembered the guard's words about advisor's loyalties being bought. But Amenutept didn't seem to think Scarab's welcome tepid, and I convinced myself it was my imagination. I was still a peasant girl, Amenutept was the noble. Surely he would suspect long before I did if someone was disloyal. Besides, no doubt being Pharaoh for a month had suited Scarab's like of power just fine. Few indeed would not find such a taste of power enjoyable. But having the full weight of it was far different than a mere taste, and more than one person has learned power is not so enjoyable when it was forced on them. I hoped it was so with Scarab.
Yshta
To Be Concluded...
Which isn't as easy as it sounds. Figuring out where to end this was really difficult. --'
Salmon