Please review this so I know how to improve and make this more interesting!
Lightzoni!
I had somehow fallen asleep while waiting to attack the orc army that was approaching and woke with a start as Arazeize blew loudly on a horn to start the battle. I jumped to my feet and grabbed my sword in my left hand and the reins to Filomere in the right.
Legosis leaped onto his tall fair horse and instructed me to do the same. Filomere looked more ready for battle than I did, which sent fear rushing through my body.
Arazeize commanded and we had to charge straight at the orcs and kill the lot of them. Filomere understood this command but it had been spoken in elvish (as most of the army was elves or understood elvish) so I was baffled.
No sooner had we begun to advance on our enemies when an orc drew his sword and charged at me. Instinct seemed to have taken over and I swung my sword straight into its neck. Its ugly head fell to the floor and splattered the grass with orc blood.
"Nice sword action" Said a young elf named Tarrent, "What out, here comes another. Duck!" I lay flat across Filomere's neck and Tarrent killed the orc that had been behind me. Eugh! I had orc blood on my clothes and brand new clothes at that. I dismounted Filomere so I could run to a slightly safer area.
"Slurt!" The elf called to a fellow elf. The next thing he said was in elvish but I guessed that he had told Slurt to look to the left where he was about to be pierced brutally by an orc blade.
I wanted to watch the two elves fight and maybe pick up a few tips but I had a problem. A big problem.
I was surrounded by orcs. Each brandishing a sharp sword and forcing me back into a corner. I clasped my hands tighter around my weapon and wished as hard as I could for a miracle.
The orcs were closing in. This is it, the end of my life, I would never see my beloved playstation again, or my family.
I closed my eyes tightly hoping death would not be too painful. I heard a sword swing and felt pain sear through my arm. I'm dead. I know I've just died brutally in battle. I felt the sharp pain in my arm get worse and I sank to the ground. I've been stabbed and now my soul is leaving me as an empty corpse on the ground for Arazeize to find. What about the gem, they've already lost a member of the team and we've only been gone from Gondor for two days at most. I failed them, I died. I must be dead...mustn't I?
"Legaramir!" I heard a familiar voice call. "Legaramir get up they've gone." I opened my eyes slowly, the sun burned as it shone down on me.
"I'm alive?" I muttered as I began to stand up slowly. I reached out to the place I had felt the pain only to find that it was wrapped in bandages which were slightly splashed with my own blood in places.
"I'm alive!" I jumped up and down in happiness, "Rejoice I'm alive, it's a miracle, the Lord has saved me, I knew I was special, thank you Lord!"
"Don't be stupid child, you were never dead or even dying" Giblet said in a low growl as if irritated by my happiness. "You only passed out after the orc blade pierced your skin and the poison entered your blood. Arazeize has taken all the poison out of your wound but he says you need rest and not to be leaping around and I agree so settle down"
"How did I survive then?"
"You would be dead if it wasn't for me and Filomere. The orcs would have finished you off but your noble steed made a big enough racket by stamping her hooves and whinnying that most of the orcs turned to kill her instead. Luckily I was able to come and slay all the dreadful creatures and rescue the both of you. I brought you to safety and when all the orcs were dead or had retreated, Arazeize came to help with herbs and such like. He cleaned you up and left me in charge of you so he could help other injured warriors. You're made of tougher stuff than I thought. Only someone very strong at your age could have withstood the poison, grown men have trouble sometimes.
I stood up and began to pace triumphantly up and down.
"I'm strong, I'm tough and I can do anything! Aarrggh!!" I wasn't looking where I was going and tripped over a rock in front of me. "I can do anything except see huge rocks"
Giblet pulled me up and over to a soft mound of grass.
"Rest now you don't want any more injuries" He laid me down and trotted off to Legosis, "Fool," I heard him mutter before I began to drift off into dreams of me fighting and winning battles, then wars.
I had somehow fallen asleep while waiting to attack the orc army that was approaching and woke with a start as Arazeize blew loudly on a horn to start the battle. I jumped to my feet and grabbed my sword in my left hand and the reins to Filomere in the right.
Legosis leaped onto his tall fair horse and instructed me to do the same. Filomere looked more ready for battle than I did, which sent fear rushing through my body.
Arazeize commanded and we had to charge straight at the orcs and kill the lot of them. Filomere understood this command but it had been spoken in elvish (as most of the army was elves or understood elvish) so I was baffled.
No sooner had we begun to advance on our enemies when an orc drew his sword and charged at me. Instinct seemed to have taken over and I swung my sword straight into its neck. Its ugly head fell to the floor and splattered the grass with orc blood.
"Nice sword action" Said a young elf named Tarrent, "What out, here comes another. Duck!" I lay flat across Filomere's neck and Tarrent killed the orc that had been behind me. Eugh! I had orc blood on my clothes and brand new clothes at that. I dismounted Filomere so I could run to a slightly safer area.
"Slurt!" The elf called to a fellow elf. The next thing he said was in elvish but I guessed that he had told Slurt to look to the left where he was about to be pierced brutally by an orc blade.
I wanted to watch the two elves fight and maybe pick up a few tips but I had a problem. A big problem.
I was surrounded by orcs. Each brandishing a sharp sword and forcing me back into a corner. I clasped my hands tighter around my weapon and wished as hard as I could for a miracle.
The orcs were closing in. This is it, the end of my life, I would never see my beloved playstation again, or my family.
I closed my eyes tightly hoping death would not be too painful. I heard a sword swing and felt pain sear through my arm. I'm dead. I know I've just died brutally in battle. I felt the sharp pain in my arm get worse and I sank to the ground. I've been stabbed and now my soul is leaving me as an empty corpse on the ground for Arazeize to find. What about the gem, they've already lost a member of the team and we've only been gone from Gondor for two days at most. I failed them, I died. I must be dead...mustn't I?
"Legaramir!" I heard a familiar voice call. "Legaramir get up they've gone." I opened my eyes slowly, the sun burned as it shone down on me.
"I'm alive?" I muttered as I began to stand up slowly. I reached out to the place I had felt the pain only to find that it was wrapped in bandages which were slightly splashed with my own blood in places.
"I'm alive!" I jumped up and down in happiness, "Rejoice I'm alive, it's a miracle, the Lord has saved me, I knew I was special, thank you Lord!"
"Don't be stupid child, you were never dead or even dying" Giblet said in a low growl as if irritated by my happiness. "You only passed out after the orc blade pierced your skin and the poison entered your blood. Arazeize has taken all the poison out of your wound but he says you need rest and not to be leaping around and I agree so settle down"
"How did I survive then?"
"You would be dead if it wasn't for me and Filomere. The orcs would have finished you off but your noble steed made a big enough racket by stamping her hooves and whinnying that most of the orcs turned to kill her instead. Luckily I was able to come and slay all the dreadful creatures and rescue the both of you. I brought you to safety and when all the orcs were dead or had retreated, Arazeize came to help with herbs and such like. He cleaned you up and left me in charge of you so he could help other injured warriors. You're made of tougher stuff than I thought. Only someone very strong at your age could have withstood the poison, grown men have trouble sometimes.
I stood up and began to pace triumphantly up and down.
"I'm strong, I'm tough and I can do anything! Aarrggh!!" I wasn't looking where I was going and tripped over a rock in front of me. "I can do anything except see huge rocks"
Giblet pulled me up and over to a soft mound of grass.
"Rest now you don't want any more injuries" He laid me down and trotted off to Legosis, "Fool," I heard him mutter before I began to drift off into dreams of me fighting and winning battles, then wars.