Chapter Four

Ephram's POV

After that day, everything got a lot easier. Madison and I kind of realized that we had to be friends, and even though it was really weird at first, I got used to it. I couldn't help how I felt, but I decided that being friends was more important. And I didn't want to break up with Amy, she meant too much to me and I didn't want to loose her. I felt like such an asshole. I seem to use that word a lot when I describe myself in relation to Amy.

Anyway, January finished, and I found myself at the start of February and two weeks from Valentine's Day. Great, Just what I needed, a holiday dedicated to love and romance shared with a girl I only loved as a friend. While I lived with the woman I was crazy about, but could only be friends with, because I was too damn scared. It wasn't like I could talk to anyone about all of this either. Bright and I didn't talk much anymore, and he was Amy's brother. My dad and I had limited our conversation to a "hi" when he came to drop off Delia here or pick her up, so I couldn't talk to him. Not that I would have anyway. My only friend for the moment seemed to be Mac, and at 3 months old, I don't think her advice would be great. Besides, she had a built in bias. I'm sure she'd want her Mom and Dad together.

I didn't think it could get any worse, but as usual I was spectacularly wrong. Of course it could get worse. This is me we're talking about.

I had planned to spend Saturday in Denver on my own. Ok, so my excuse was that I had to buy Amy a Valentine's gift, but I actually wanted some time to myself. I didn't want to avoid Madison or Mac, but Amy had developed this ultra-annoying habit of just kind of appearing on the weekends. She's just hand around with me, and maybe watch movies. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with her, because I did. But I didn't have time to. I had to go to sleep so early every night, just to cope with being woken up at least three times a night, that I tried to get as much homework done on the weekends. With Amy there, that couldn't happen. I tried to explain all of this to her, but she didn't get it.

So that Saturday was supposed to be kind of an escape, but as usual it didn't exactly go as planned. I got up at 5.30 because that's what Mac wanted and she refused to go back to sleep. I decided to go get breakfast, because then I could get ready to go as soon as someone else got up. I was sitting eating my frosted flakes when Madison got up. It was way earlier than normal, but I don't think I was awake enough to notice.

"Healthy breakfast." She poured herself some coffee, and took a seat opposite me.

"I guess so," I mumbled. But as I was only on my first cup of coffee it probably sounded more like: "megueppsu." I'm not exactly a morning person.

Madison just laughed at me. I scowled back at her and drank more coffee.

It took me a while to wake up, but when I did, I wished I were still asleep. Madison looked beautiful. More than beautiful, amazing. It was way too early for all the lust that was suddenly running through me. She was wearing the same pajama pants and tank top I'd seen her in every morning for a week, but dammit, it was affecting me way more this morning. Her blond hair was messed up in a kind of adorable bedhead. She wasn't pale anymore, and the dark circles were gone from under her eyes. For the first time since she got out of hospital, she just looked, healthy, I guess.

This was a good thing, I told myself. A very good thing. It just didn't help that I was a typical hormone filled teenage guy. I just sat there and stared into my coffee cup, not looking at her. Mac, who was sitting in her chair in the corner, gurgled at us. I think if she were old enough to properly laugh, she'd have laughed her ass off at her pathetic father.

"So, what are we doing today then?" Madison sounded way to happy for, I checked the clock on the stove, 6.37 am.

"We?"

"Yes. I heard and Amy last night. I think the whole block did. I know you're going to Denver today. I want to come too."

Did I mention the fact that I didn't want to spend the day with Amy, even if it was to buy her gift, hadn't gone down too well.

"You want to come to Denver?" This was unexpected. Shopping for your girlfriend's valentine's gift with the woman you love. Dammit, this was too complicated for me without way more caffeine. So I got up and poured myself more coffee.

"That's the idea. Do you know how many time's I've been out of this house this week? Once. And that was to go to the grocery store with Nonny. I can't drive for another two weeks, and it's too cold to walk anywhere. It's driving me insane!"

"You know, I didn't realize your life was so damn exciting."

"You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, right? And no cursing in front of Mac."

"Ok, three things; one: 'damn' is not strictly cursing, two: Mac is three months old. She has no idea what we're saying. And three, even sarcasm is pretty good for jailbait like me."

"Funny guy." Madison tried to hide her smile, but failed dismally.

"Fine, if you want to come then come. I'm getting a shower. You go get Mac ready."

"You're so generous. I get all the good jobs."

I went and took a shower, but as usual, I took about five times less than Mac to get ready. I think the whole girls taking forever to get ready must be implanted from birth. So I just took over from Madison, and she went to get ready. I was just packing the diaper bag to go, when Madison reappeared. And she looked amazing. All the lust that had been slowly disappearing came running back. Dammit.

The drive to Denver was ok. I borrowed Grandpa's car, because I refused to take Mac in my hunk of junk. Mac just drifted off to sleep pretty quickly, thanks to waking up so early. Madison and I had our usual argument about what music to listen to. We finally agreed on the radio, but due to the fact that Colorado radio consists entirely of twangy country shit, and "classic rock" from before I was born, we just drove in silence. Madison fell asleep about a half –hour later.

It was still pretty early when we arrived at the mall in Denver. I hadn't planned to spend all day there, but I guess Madison hadn't been shopping since before Mac was born and she had some time to make up for. I ended up getting dragged in to pretty much every clothing store in the entire mall, and there must have been hundreds of them. I just pushed Mac's stroller and said appropriately nice things about everything Madison tried on. To tell the truth, Madison still had a tiny bit of excess baby weight to loose, but there was no was I was going to tell her that. She would have kicked my ass.

After a while I was completely bored and so was Mac. She'd been really good, but it was time for her feed, and she probably needed a diaper change. I told Madison I was leaving and headed towards the restrooms. I was lucky there was a separate baby changing room, because from experience I can tell you that men's restrooms never have the changing platform things and it's no fun having to go in the womens restroom to use one.

Once Mac was dry, I headed to the food court and sat down to feed Mac. Bright had given me this kind of thermos bottle thing that kept the formula warm all day if it needed to be. I was a pretty great Christmas gift actually, but he still refused to tell me where he got it. That was a pain in the ass because I wanted to buy some more.

I wish I'd known that a baby would turn me into some kind of teenage girl magnet. Then I probably wouldn't have been quite so shocked or embarrassed when I found myself almost surrounded by a group of them. They just kind of crowded around me and started asking questions.

"Aww, she's so cute." "How old is she?" "What's her name?"

I'd dressed her in a pink dress, so at least nobody asked if it was a boy or a girl.

"Is that your little sister or something?"

Like I was going to answer any of their questions. What was I going to say? "Uh, no that's my daughter. I was dumb enough to get my girlfriend pregnant when I was 16." I don't think so.

Through this I saw Madison standing at the edge of the group, laughing her ass off at me. Dammit. Today was not going at all as planned.

"Look Mac, there's Mommy," I finally said pointedly, loud enough that Madison could hear.

Madison came and crouched down next to me. The girls go the message and disappeared, thank God. I guess the baby isn't such a chick magnet when the mommy appears. Odd, huh?

"You almost done?" Madison asked.

"Maybe 10 minutes." Mac tended to be kind of a slow eater. Madison walked off to get a drink and came back with a soda for me. Of course I couldn't drink it while I was feeding Mac.

While I finished with Mac, Madison showed me what she'd bought. It wasn't much, a couple of t-shirts and a pair of pants, but they were nice.

We were finally done about 15 minutes later and Madison decided I had to go buy Amy's gift. And she wanted to help me. This wouldn't be awkward at all.

"So what were you going to get her?" she asked me.

Honestly, I hadn't thought about it that much. I guess I'd just planned to have a look around and choose something. That wasn't gonna happen with an ex-girlfriend and a baby there.

"Uh, maybe perfume?" It was the first thing that popped into my head.

"Nice." Ok, that was good then. "What kind?"

"Uhh?" Dammit. I hadn't thought that far in advance.

"See this is why you need my help. C'mon, follow me."

So I did, but when I saw where we were headed. She was on a direct course into Victoria's Secret. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

"Uh, I'm not going in there."

"Ephram, they do nice perfume which I guarantee Amy will like. C'mon, it's not like I'm gonna make you buy her kinky underwear."

I felt my face flush as red as the underwear in the window display. But Madison just grabbed my arm and pulled me in, pushing the stroller with one hand.

It was indescribably weird to be in that store with Madison. I don't know why, it's just a guy thing. No guy likes Victoria's Secret, well except Bright. She was right about the perfume though, and I quickly found one that I thought Amy would like. I went to pay for it, but I had to wait in line for a couple of minutes. While I was standing there I saw Madison crouched down by the stroller, pulling faces at Mac.

I paid for the gift on my dad's credit card, which I'd been allowed to keep for emergencies. I just wanted him to stroke out when he saw 'Victoria's Secret' on the bill. The assistant tried to make conversation with me while I paid.

"I guess you two have to find a babysitter for Valentine's, huh? I mean if you want to go out."

"Huh, oh, right. We're not..."

"Oh, sorry. I just assumed, I mean with the baby and everything."

"Right, the baby's ours. It's just we're not... anymore I mean." Why did I even answer the questions? I should have just smiled, nodded, and then left as soon as I could.

Madison was waiting for me outside.

"Don't you think that store has a dumb name? I mean, what is Victoria's Secret anyway?" Don't ask me why I said it. I just did.

Madison looked at me and laughed. "Masturbation."

I just stopped and looked at her. "Huh?"

"I don't know where the name comes from, but that's Victoria's Secret of success."

"Uh-huh?"

"Sure. I mean, I guess, maybe 70% of men have their first, uh, experience with the Victoria's Secret catalogue. That makes them loyal. Then every Valentine's, birthday, anniversary, whatever, they run down and buy their girlfriend something from there."

I could feel myself getting red, again.

"You though, I think you were more a 'dad's Playboy' kind of guy."

Now I was certain I was red as a beet.

"Madison, please, for the love of God, can we not talk about this here. Or, you know, ever."

Madison laughed at me. "I thought you got over that whole teenage I'm way to embarrassed to talk about it phase after we...you know."

"I did." Suddenly something clicked in my mind. "A year ago today, in fact."

"You've got to be kidding me." Madison checked the date on her watch. "You're right. Oh God, Ephram!" She sounded kind of shocked.

I laughed. "That's what you said then too!"

Madison blushed and tried to hit me, but I dodged out of the way.