If you like the previous fic, Eyes On Me, then this is something you might adore as well. It's been a while since I've written anything...but let me assure you I'll do my best of the sake of Jenrya fans out there. This time around it's 1000 words sang by Koda Kumi in FFX-2, but this is the international version. Enjoy.
1000 words
By : Psycho-kyugurl
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
That morbid expression that once haunt your gracile features of a fine young lad isn't very common nowadays ever since the return from the summer camp. You would grin sardonically every time you bumped into your acquaintances – returning the greetings from your fellow peers or perhaps exchanging a few nods before proceeding down the pathway. I have tried to smile and say 'Hi' to you but all that was ever said was formal pleasantries and a few smiles. Nothing could ever divert your attention to me.
"Ah, it's quaint to see you around right now. Aren't you having chemistry class now?" You would always ask without fail as you beamed that sardonic smile of yours.
Chemistry...classes...breaks... are that the only limited subject we are able to discuss and talk about?
"Well yes...that is till you jump into my way and ward off the eagerness to rush to the lesson." I replied bleakly, though with hints of thick sarcasm.
"Oh really...I shall be on the way then, see ya'!" Those dreamy words were uttered without any hesitation. You acted as if you didn't care. You acted as if you were a passerby disrupting the life of another. And you passed me by as if I was nothing but a mere spot in your fully-painted canvas.
I could feel the distance, ever so visibly as you sauntered away breezily.
Slowly and excruciatingly, I writhe slowly from the inside.
And that apologetic smile wasn't exactly alleviating the pain.
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
I didn't think I was strong enough to watch your back. I didn't think I was strong enough to watch you walking away from me. I didn't think I was even strong enough to watch you chatting enthusiastically to other girls even if you were only pretending to do so. I guess I was never strong enough when it comes to matters dealing with you.
I am to weak.
A week after that I never did you see you again in the hallway. A month later you seemed to have vanished completely as if by magic. Those senseless rumours about your whereabouts have even died down. Where...where could you be?
It would be only a matter of time before I break out off this shackles that were enforced on my sanity. I... have to find you.
"Hey Rumiko, guess what?! I've just got the latest news from the seniors! They have overheard the conversation between the lecturers in the common room about the missing Chinese guy. It seems that he is going to move to the States in a few days time!!"
"Oh wow, really? No wonder he was nowhere to be seen!"
I cracked. That was a flicker of agony at the sheer mention of your presence. The agony had no physical to it but cut me as deeply as a self-inflicted wound. Emotions gushed out fleetingly.
Here, behind shuttered eyelids, I was afforded with the worst answers of all...
"You know, I heard that he maybe suffering from some brain cancer...I really hope it's not true."
And what hurt me most is the fact that you didn't bid any last goodbyes.
"Save your tears cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore
To hide the pain when I turn back the pages
"I promise I would return home safely. So please, don't give me that fiery look... you look better when you're smiling."
These words echoed for eternity. The last, foreboding words you ever said before the battle to save the world. The last uttered words that soothed my conscience before falling of the edgy cliff.
Through tearful self I vowed not to evince the distress.
And to uphold this vow, I pressed myself not to cry.
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart
I do not remember how I received these bandages. I remembered the voice of your name and the descending darkness, the chaotic atmosphere and the rushing footsteps and right after that...I could remember no more.
And now I ended up hospitalized.
The white ceiling stared back at my disorientated self. I shivered with fear.
Brain cancer...leaving for the States... It all flashed through in one smooth motion. The cancerous tissues in your brain must have developed right after the battle with D-Reaper.
It's my fault...all my fault. I should have insisted of not letting you go. I should have insisted that you are not capable in fighting against the evil, monstrous creature. And it was then when everything hit me...
I know. I finally know.
I know the reason behind these series of suffering and torment...and that's why I am feeling like this. That's why I feel like the most sinful being in the world right now – someone who is unable to love anyone else.
Maybe I really am.
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings
That night I poured my emotions and feelings out – all sprawled across a piece of white parchment.
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever
And I hope these written emotions will – somehow – reached you and released you from the eroding pain that you have been suffering.
And all of these shall be sealed up in this white envelope.
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can't forget
I still relive that day
"You've been there with me all the way"
I still hear you say
I ran all the way, from the hospital to the dark alley streets and through parks and complexes to your house.
You were there by my side when I gone through the worse time in my life. You were there by my side when I needed pieces of advice. You were never thinking of yourself because you felt as if you needed to take care of me.
You were indeed my precious guardian angel. And now I shall be your guardian angel.
"Wait for me I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt
When I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late
I know it's not too late to mend everything. There is still time to confess these hidden feelings of mine. Please god...please, I beg you...please give me another second, just another second and I will mend everything with these very own hands.
Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though we can't see I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
"He's not here. They were supposed to leave for the States today but he had suddenly fainted in front of the house. The ambulance had taken him to the nearest hospital."
My feet carried themselves all the way back to the hospital. I was terrified and scared. I could almost feel my pulse halting for a moment when I heard the news from his neighbours. Crunching the white envelope, I rushed to the counter, shouted for his name and I was shown the way towards his ward.
Seconds were wasted, minutes were gone and the hallway continued on forever. Fear was nailed onto my visage, and it was spreading to my entire body through the blood vessels. I carried on running, clutching onto any last hopes that may bring me to him. I didn't want to lose an important person to me anymore. Never ever again.
And eternity drifted me by when I reached his ward. The envelope fell off from the grip of my hand.
Oh a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
I blinked. Again...
...again...
...and again...
A spasm of nausea broke liked a flood from the dam, sweeping over my worn out self as I stared shakily at the pale figure from the glass window. Alice was by his side and he was sleeping peacefully, freed from his wretched misery.
The outside world was signing the song of requiem. Pelting droplets began to smash into the closed windows of the hospital while the sky performed the epitaph.
I couldn't bring myself to walk into the ward, nor could I bring myself to step away from the window. Instead I fell down with a loud thud, with the envelope and papers randomly scattered all over the floor which were written:
Henry, I love you.
Forever yours... Rika.
Oh a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings ohhh
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
T H E E N D