Chapter Eight

Linda's POV

I wasn't sure exactly how I ended up agreeing to come back. It wasn't what I planned at all. I was supposed to go back to Africa with Doctors Without Borders. That didn't happen. The clinic I was supposed to join burned down and it would take months to rebuild it. Then they asked me to go to Sudan, but I got the flu and it took me a couple of months to recover. So I ended up with a desk job in the US Doctors Without Borders office in Washington.

That wasn't my dream job or anything bit it was all going fine until Andy called me. I guess my mother must have given him my number, because he called me out of the blue one day and said he needed to talk. We spent hours on the phone talking about Ephram, and the baby, and how Andy knew he'd made a huge mistake. Then I made a huge mistake and I called him back a few days later to see how things were going and it all spiraled from there. Before I knew it I was spending hours on the phone every night with Andy, and then somehow I was telling him I loved him and I was moving back to Everwood to be with him.

Delia and Andy came to meet me at the airport in Denver. I'd never seen such a huge smile on anyone's face as I saw then on Andy's face. He didn't say anything, he just kissed me and at that moment, I knew that even though this was not what I had planned, this was right.

"Eww, Dad, Linda, c'mon. Please can you not do that in front of me? It's just gross." Delia interrupted us. I just laughed.

"Delia," Andy warned. "We talked about this. Sorry Linda."

"Daaaaad." I'd never heard the word with eight syllables before, well maybe when Amy was little. "It's not like it's just Linda. It was gross when you did that with Mom too."

Andy tried to look stern, but I could tell he was fighting a smile. It was so good to be home, I realized.

It took a few days to get settled in. It was odd moving in with Andy. I hadn't ever lived with anyone and now I had a ready made family, with a daughter, a son and even a granddaughter. That part was kind of scary. But I didn't meet her for a few days. I don't know if Ephram even knew I was back and had moved in with his father. I didn't want to have that conversation, so I just ignored it.

It was even a few days before I went to see Harold and Rose. I'd called them and they knew I was moving back. Apparently Bright had already known, thanks to Delia. I went to dinner with them a few days later. Amy and Bright were there, and even Mother and Irv managed to come. It was kind of funny to eat Rose's cooking again after months of living on vegetarian take-out from the Greek deli near my apartment in DC. Bright was talking all evening about his new job helping out at the elementary school. I wasn't that surprised to hear what he wanted to do, as I'd always kind of seen him as an overgrown five year old. Amy was quiet though. Andy had told me that she and Ephram had broken up, but I hadn't ever been close to her so I didn't see it as my place to ask her what was wrong.

It was odd though, after dinner Amy asked me to come talk to her. I had no idea why until I got to her room. She closed the door and sat down on the bed.

"Aunt Linda?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Did you ever do something that you thought was right, but turned out to be a total mistake?"

"Of course, honey. Everyone does. It's part of being human."

"So how do you fix it?"

Amy sounded very small. Not like the teenager I had left the previous summer, but more like the little girl I had known.

"I don't know. I guess you just have to realize you were wrong and then try and make things right." It was so odd. It felt more like I was talking to Delia than Amy, who was almost 18. "Are you going to tell me what this is really about?" I could guess, but I though she needed to say it out loud.

"I broke up with Ephram." Amy dissolved into tears. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I don't exactly have maternal instinct, but I just wrapped my arm around my niece, pulled up a box of Kleenex and let her cry for a while.

After a few minutes her tears slowed down a little and she could talk again.

"I just feel so awful. I never wanted to break up with him, I just got so mad with him and I didn't mean it and now I don't know what to do." All her words ran together, and I'm surprised she didn't run out of air. "

"What made you so mad? Was it really that bad?"

"I can't tell you. It's like, I don't know, too personal I guess."

"Amy sweetie. Come on. You know you can tell me anything and I won't tell your Mom and Dad, right?"

"I was jealous, ok? I was jealous of that stupid baby!" Amy burst out and then started to cry again. "It's not fair. It was all perfect between us and then that baby was born," she sobbed. "Then he never had any time for me any more and I never saw him without the kid or without his ex-girlfriend there. I know it's selfish and I know it's mean but I can't help it. I needed him there for me and he never was any more."

I tried to be sympathetic to Amy, but there was something that was stopping me. Maybe it was my long absent maternal instinct.

"Oh sweetie. I know this can't have been easy for you at all. It must have been a weird change, but Ephram's a parent now. That has to come first."

"I didn't want to come first, I just wanted to have him to myself once in a while." Amy grabbed a Kleenex and wiped her eyes. "I know he has responsibilities to Mackenzie." I noticed that this was the first time Amy had used her name. "I just wish that he could forget about them sometimes, even for just a couple of hours."

"Amy honey. That's the point. You can't ever forget about your children. I know I don't have any, but I've talked to Andy about this a lot recently. They're always there, no matter what. Believe me, I know how hard that is to understand. There were times when I wished that Andy didn't have children. It made everything so much more complicated, and in the end it was why we broke up. Andy had to put his responsibility to his children before his responsibility to me."

"But you guys are back together. That means he put you before his kids."

"No sweetie. He didn't. I'm only back because Delia agreed to it. When Andy first asked me, I said no because of the children, but then Andy had a long talk with Delia. He explained to her about HIV and AIDS. He gave her some books to read and he even explained that I was probably going to die from this." The thought of how hard that conversation must have been brought a couple of tears to my eyes, but I wiped them away before Amy could see.

"I could never have come back if Delia said no, and I wouldn't have wanted to. It took me a long time to see how much a part of him his children are, but they are. And his daughter is part of Ephram. I know it's hard, but it gets easier, I promise.

"Is that what the argument was about?"

"Not really." Amy sounded quiet and childlike again.

"What did you fight about?"

"I can't." Tears started to roll down Amy's cheeks again.

"Amy, I can't help you figure this out if you don't tell me."

"He didn't want me anymore." Amy broke down again. I was worried that we were going to run out of Kleenex at this rate. "After Mackenzie was born, he didn't want to..." Amy paused, but I got the picture.

"Sweetie. I know this is a lot more complicated than anything you signed up for. But maybe this is a good thing. Dating someone with children, especially a baby is really complicated. I wouldn't have wanted to do it at your age. You're probably just not ready for it."

Amy didn't answer me, she just sat and cried. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I felt some kind of loyalty to the boy that was going to be my stepson. It felt odd to say that even to myself, because I'd only said yes the night before. I was going to be a wife and a substitute mother. Not what I expected, but it was a good thing.