Cho: Here's Chapter 4 and don't worry I should be able to update every couple of days as I have every chapter written and typed up except for the last one :D – as always I'd love to hear what you think :D

Chapter 4: A Rude Awakening

Ginny awoke a couple of weeks later the dream fresh as ever in her tired mind. The last couple of weeks had seemed to go by in a daze with not much going on to block out the terrible memories of the dream that had been floating in and out of her head constantly. She noted, with some dismay, that she couldn't even remember the way Harry smiled anymore, only the look of detestation and disgust he had given her when he'd seen her now, for what she really was. Ginny closed her eyes tightly stop the flood of tears that her eyes threatened to release. It had felt so real. She shook her head and got to her feet and dress carefully in her usual attire – a baggy sweatshirt and trousers. She gazed sorrowfully at her refection and then sneered as she took in her blood shot eyes and scraggy mane of hair. She scowled even deeper as she attempted to drag a brush through it without much success – in the end she settled for plonking a hat unceremoniously on her head. She took a deep breath, headed out the door and tried desperately to shut out the constant nagging voice in her head.

That's what he always thought of you, you know... he never did love you, he pitied you Ginny – pitied.

"Shut up" Ginny told the voice quietly as she descended quietly down the stairs

You disgusted him

"Its not true!" Ginny said a little louder, tears springing to her eyes in spite of herself. She sank down against the banister and put her head in her hand, closing her eyes again concentrating on getting rid of the picture of Harry appalled expression. In fact she was concentrating so hard that she didn't hear a door creak open on the landing and the footsteps walking towards her. A hand touched her lightly on the shoulder. Ginny leapt a mile in the air and whipped round. She relaxed - it was Hermione. She turned back round and faced the stair well.

"Hermione! You scared the life out of me!" she said a little annoyed

"Sorry" said Hermione quietly "Look, Gin, are you sure your ok? You can tell me you know."

Ginny looked up at her, Hermione's eyes filled with concern as she took in Ginny's drawn, drained appearance. Ginny faltered, for a moment she almost felt like telling her everything, about how much she missed Harry, how she felt she couldn't cope, how much she needed her and about the dream...almost, but not quite. She looked away again

"Everything's perfectly fine Hermione, fabulous in fact, actually I was just going out so if you'll excuse me" She said all this rather quickly and made to go down the rest of the staircase but Hermione's hand snatched her wrist. Ginny turned

"I'll come with you, you know for company...' she started, she stopped abruptly and peered at Ginny's wrist, studying it carefully, noting with no small decree of concern how small and brittle it looked in her hand. Her eyes widened in horror and she looked up slowly into Ginny's face

"Ginny?" She said in disbelief "Ginny, have you been eating properly?"

Ginny snatched her hand back

"What's it to you" she spat, and with that she ran downstairs and out the door, leaving Hermione standing on the landing staring at the spot where Ginny's hand had been in her own, her eyes still wide with alarm.

Ginny walked out and apparated into the noisy streets Diagon Alley, a sullen expression clouded her face – what did Hermione know anyway, she asked herself.

She was only trying to help you

Ginny groaned loudly as she realized the nagging voice had made a comeback.

And you...

Ginny could almost imagine the voice pointing its finger at her, if a voice could have a finger...

You drove her away; can't you see what's happening Ginny? All your friends are turning away from you, just like Harry, remember, remember??

Ginny remembered.

And its because of you, Ginny – YOU! You repulse them, just like you repulse yourself –

That was enough

"Shut up!" screamed Ginny "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

An old woman carrying a large basket of potions jumped back from her in alarm, clearly frightened by this obviously somewhat unhinged teenager. Upon seeing this, Ginny frowned at her and perhaps more menacingly than she intended she snapped

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing, nothing!" squeaked the woman, hurriedly trying to shuffle away, spilling potion ingredients everywhere. Quickly, keeping one nervous eye on Ginny, she tried to scrabble all her shopping back into the basket without much success.

"Here, I'll help you" Ginny said suddenly feeling ashamed, she started towards the woman smiling as warmly as she could - perhaps it didn't quite have the effect she was going for as the woman looked positively horrified

"No! No thank you I'm fine," she said quickly scooping up what she could into the shopping basket, before half walking, half running away as fast as she could, leaving Ginny staring helplessly after her.

Ginny shook her head in incredulity and right on cue a familiar voice entered her head

See what your doing now? Terrorizing innocent bystanders – your going mad Gin...

Ginny looked round and saw a gaggle of scared and curious faces peering at her excitedly. Mortified, Ginny broke into a run and kept running until she was red in the face and out of breath. As she slowed down into a steady jog, her eyes scanned her surroundings; to her despair she realized she didn't recognize anything, suddenly she felt alone and nervous.

Clearly she wasn't in Diagon Alley any more; in fact she didn't have a clue where she was. She sank down on the least grimy bench she could find and let out a deep sigh.

Her thought wandered back to the woman with the shopping basket, she groaned – right now that woman was probably warning everyone she could that there was mad, dangerous, red headed delinquent on the loose. Ginny was seriously being to wonder if she was mad, had she truly been talking to her own head?! What's more she had let her head win, she had let herself believe that what it was saying was true...maybe it was – Ginny wasn't sure of anything anymore.

What if it had always been like that, and she just couldn't remember? Had everyone always hated her? Had Harry ever loved her? Or was it all a figment of her over reactive imagination as a result of years of stalking him in the Griffindor Common Room? She just didn't know anymore. She clenched her fists angrily; she could almost hear the voice in her head laughing at her...

Ha Ha Ha!

In fact she could...

She screwed up her face and tried to stop the demonic laughter vibrating around her head. Suddenly, from somewhere behind her, she heard a smooth voice that caught her completely by surprise

"You know, your face will stay like that if the wind changes"