I know. Bad me. Haven't updated for a few weeks. And I really don't have much of an excuse except writers' block. I'm gonna wrap this story up in the next chapter I think ;) Start a new one. Thanks loads to all my reviewers!

Jack strode into the infirmary, feeling alot less confidant than he looked. The euphoria at finding his team alive and…nearly well had faded in the memory of why they didn't come back with him in the first place.

He had left them behind.

He should have known that blasted alien wouldn't really have let them die. Let him kill them. Hadn't they all died in Teal'c's task? She'd brought them back then. He should have waited, not left without them. Heck, he shouldn't have got them into this mess in the first place. He should have known something was wrong from the start, found a way out.

Not killed his team.

Why had he been so quick to let Daniel go? To offer Teal'c the easy way out? To kill Carter before she even felt anything? He was a coward, he should have helped them endure the damn pain, not encouraged them to run away from it.

Part of him knew this was irrational. His team weren't cowards, it was wrong of him to pretend they were. They had done what they thought best, all they could do.

And they had done it for him.

If it wasn't for him, Daniel wouldn't have given in so fast, Teal'c wouldn't have suffered so much, and Carter…maybe she'd have tried to get through it, rather than sparing him the sight of her writhing in agony.

Oh for the days when he didn't know what 'writhing' meant.

Seeing Fraiser working in her office he walked straight over to the main ward, Daniel and Carter were the only occupants so he didn't have to worry about disturbing anyone. Sure enough, they were sitting up, chatting animatedly, looking a little less tired that the night before. Their cardiac monitors had been disconnected, leaving them with IV's and a heck of a lot of bandages. Sweet.

"Carter, Daniel." He hailed them lazily, and a lot more heartily than he felt. "What have you been doing then?"

About ten minutes into the conversation, Daniel had had enough. Sam had gone from slightly subdued to almost completely withdrawn. Teal'c was hovering near the door as though they were planning to attack him, and Jack? Well he was speaking in that overly-cheerful tone he tended to use when they were about to die. Never a good sign.

Daniel wasn't an idiot. He knew what was wrong with his team-mates. He'd seen it before, and probably would again. He'd gone through it a few times himself. They were feeling guilty. Irrationally, pointlessly, but compulsively guilty.

Though he hadn't thought so at the time, he had probably had the easiest time of it. His task, while horrific, was simple. He had had no choice whatsoever. To kill an innocent child, even to save his team-mates, was so far beyond him he had not even considered it, and he had known instantly his friends would never want him too. They hadn't been so lucky.

Teal'c had had no way of knowing if he was truly killing his friends. He couldn't even explain to them what he had been told, unable to even say good-bye. Sam wasn't able to do anything for them all. Instead of looking after the team, as she was prone to doing, she had been made into the dependent one. Her inability to accept that could have got them killed. She wasn't going to forgive herself for that anytime soon.

And Jack? Well he'd lived through his worst nightmare. He'd watched his team suffer, killed them, and been forced to leave them behind. If their situations had been reversed… Well, Daniel wasn't sure he could live through something like that.

After Sharé had died, and then after Shifu, he had been through this. So many times they'd been there for him, Jack, Sam, Teal'c. They'd alternately bullied, coaxed, and reasoned him out of it. Now they needed some help and it was time to repay the favour.

"Guys, shut up."

Sam looked sharply to Daniel and instantly regretted it. Concussions were a pain. The Colonel didn't look happy. Telling them to shut up was usually his job.

"Daniel." That calm but warning tone.

"I can almost hear you blaming yourselves!" Daniel turned to look at her, then at the Colonel and Teal'c. "Want to tell me I'm wrong?"

The guys were silent. From surprise or contemplation she wasn't sure. Uncertain, she was considering how to reply when Teal'c spoke quietly, "I am feeling guilt about the events that occurred on our recent mission."

He was? "You are?" At least she wasn't the only one surprised.

"Teal'c, what the heck have you got to feel guilty about?" The Colonel sounded as confused as she felt.

"Due to my actions, yourself, Major Carter, and Daniel Jackson could have been killed upon that planet. I was also unable to defend you from the Unas. Nor was my courage sufficient to endure the pain inflicted by the alien." Teal'c had bowed his head. "I have failed SG1 O'Neill." He really thought that?

"That is without a doubt the dumbest thing I have ever heard!" The Colonel exclaimed, slightly indignantly.

"Yeah Teal'c, how could you ever think that?" She put in, anxious to relieve his guilt. "You saved my life on that beam thing remember? If anything, it's me who should be apologizing for putting you all in danger back there." For getting you all nearly killed in fact.

"Carter, is stupidity a disease going round today?" She looked up surprised, the Colonel was staring at her in disbelief. ""You tried to defend us, didn't want us to risk our lives. While it might not have been the smartest thing to do at the time, I would never have expected anything less than heroism from you Major."

"So why do you hold yourself responsible for what happened back there Sir?" she countered, refusing to accept it. He opened his mouth, was going to deny it. "Sir, I was there. I saw what happened remember?" she carried on regardless. "You blamed yourself for what that alien did." He looked pretty shocked. She was shocking herself. "And you still do."

Silence.

In a voice so low, she could scarcely hear it. "I was responsible Carter." His face was stern, his voice grim, "I injected you all with the poison she gave us. I didn't have to but I did. I killed you all." She hated being right. He was cold; "I murdered you all and left you to rot on that planet." Oh god.

"No Jack, you didn't." Daniel's voice was mild, but firm. "You did what we asked you to." He looked at Teal'c, at her. "I don't know about you guys, but what I went through back there was something a lot worse than what that syringe did to me." The Colonel was staring at Daniel; "you showed mercy Jack."

"And courage." From Teal'c, "You were willing to allievate our pain, though causing your own O'Neill." Teal'c voice was gentle, but resolute. "For that I shall always be grateful to you." The Jaffa bowed his head slowly. The Colonel looked confused, almost afraid, as he looked to her. He was asking for the truth. She could give that to him.

"You never hurt me in your life Sir." She said softly, willing him to believe her. "You had terrible choices. And you made the right one, for all our sakes." On an impulse, she reached for his hand, he didn't pull away. Squeezing it, she added, "Are we going to let white-eyes beat us?"

He looked down at her hand for a minute; his face blank, then a dry chuckle, and he lifted his head to look right at her.

"Hell no." That grin, almost childlike. He stood up, squeezing her hand once before releasing it. She exchanged a smile with Daniel, who looked pleased.

"When do you two get out of here?"

Uh oh. She threw Daniel a frantic glance. He was plotting something. Daniel looked wary.
"Tomorrow afternoon I think…why?"

The Colonel was smiling again. "You'll see."

Uh oh?