Big metal wall

There's something in my head

It's a big metal wall

It blocks my past

It blocks my happiness

It's cold

I push it

But it doesn't budge

It's solid

There's something in my heart

It's a big metal wall

It blocks my emotions

It makes me cold

Makes me unfeeling

I push it

But it doesn't budge

It's solid

There's someone else

In my body

This person isn't me

I'm not cold

That isn't my voice

You hear

Putting you down

Making you feel small

I didn't used to be like this

Even through

I don't remember anyone loving me

Holding me

Taking care of me

All I remember is

The pain

The lies

I cared about people

But they never cared about me

I remember…

People using me

People hurting me

I am a weapon

I am a cheap sex toy

I've been used

To bring both pleasure

And pain

But I always had the pain

So I built the walls

There's one around me now

You'll never know me

You'll never see past

If you see past

I'll hurt

There's something around me

It's a big metal wall

You can't break it

So don't try

The wall will hold

There's no more tears to cry

The wall will keep you away

I will be alone forever

But that's ok

I don't need anyone

So today I'm save

Behind my

Big metal wall.