Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!
Author: Venus725
Summary: I wonder what would happen if an obsessed fanfic author by the name of Venus725 locked some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters in her basement? Let's see!
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13 (for now…hehehe)
Disclaimer: No, I own nothing.
Note: I would like to thank all the reviewers personally! It will be at the end of the chapter, and please keep reviewing!
Chapter 2-
An Obsessed Mary-Sue
Venus: Hey guys? How ya hanging???????
Alex: Don't try to act ghetto, it's really annoying!
Venus: I am NOT acting ghetto!!!!!
Draco: What is ghetto???
Venus: well, its…well, never mind! Anyways, we have reviewers!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Does the electric slide*
Alex: *Eye roll* God…the electric slide, again!!!!!!!
Venus: *Stops dancing* your just pissed because King (my school) beat your school in the contest!!!!
Alex: *Huffy* whatever…*Pouts* my school should have won…
Draco and Harry: can we just get on with the show? *Eye each other and glare*
Venus: Yeah, sure…anyways, our first guest is…drum roll please…*drum roll* Sasami Jurai!!!!! *Sasami Jurai appears out of nowhere*
Ron: Muggles apparate!!!!
Alex: Puh-lease…*whacks him on the head with a pop bottle*
Ron: Owww! *Rubs head* oh…wait, it's you…*dreamy grin*
Venus: Give me a break…
Hermione: Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that-
Alex: Kit-kat bar!!!!!! *Giggles*
Hermione: *giggles*
Everyone else: o-kay…
Venus: *cough* that was…very…er…interesting…*cough* anyways, go ahead and ask your questions, Sasami!
Sasami: Venus/Alex, how can you guys think Draco is sexy? *Blink*
Draco: Hey!!!
Sasami: I think he's kind of…well…not sexy. *Hides in corner, prepared to be attacked by rabid fangirls*
Alex: *Eyes go wide*
Venus: Oh no…well, your right, in the books, Draco generally doesn't sound very sexy, anyways, but we mean in the movies, or in other words, Tom Felton is very sexy. And as for fangirl…well, I still like Harry and Ron better, as in their character. Actually, I'm starting to think that Daniel Radcliffe is getting quite as hot as Tom Felton, and I have always thought Rupert Grint was cute in his own way.
Alex: *Face turns purple*
Venus: And you all might want to duck like…right now.
Alex: *Explodes*
Everyone else: *Ducking*
Alex: *Goes back to normal* Okay, sorry about that…
Everyone else: *Wide eyes*
Sasami: Yeah, so, my next question…Hermione, could I borrow your copy of Hogwarts, A History? I hear it's a fascinating book!
Hermione: *Pulls out book* *hands* sure. *Smiles*
Sasami: Nobody loves poor Harry! *Gives Harry a hug* FEEL LOVED, HARRY, FEEL FREAKIN' LOVED!!!!!!
Harry: *Sobs* finally!!!! *Hugs back*
Venus: I like Harry…well; kind of…I want a hug too! *Hugs Harry*
Alex: I want a hug…from Draco!!!!!
Ron: I want a hug…from Alex!!!!!
Draco: No way, no way, no way!
Alex: Ditto for you Ron…*Realizes what Draco means* hey!!!!
Venus: Okay, so maybe we could get back to the questions now guys?
All: *nod*
Sasami: Obi-Wan: Hi.
Obi-Wan: *Smiles* Hello.
Sasami: Sorry I can't contribute to the Star Wars voting thingy. Not a Star Wars fan. : D
Venus: *choke*
Alex: Oh no…um, you guys probably don't need to duck but I suggest plugging your ears or even better, earplugs! *Puts in her handy earplugs*
Everyone else: Um…kay…*Plug ears*
Venus: IS THERE SUCH A THING??????????? OH MY GOD!!!!!! *Deep breath* I'm over it…
Sasami: Whew, good…anyway, here's my last question: would you terribly hate me if I were to be a rabid fan-host person? *Points to chapter* You said you were looking for some, so…*cough*
Venus: Yeah, of course!!!! Email me at the email shown in my account, ok? We'll talk about it…possibly next chapter, too. Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I'd love for you to keep reviewing if you can! Ciao!
Sasami: Bye guys! *Loud pop and she's gone*
Venus: Ok, next reviewer is…MichealJacksonClayAikenluver!!!!
MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: Hey guys! All I'd like to say is I recommend Yoda, Jar Jar, Luke, Leia, and…Fred and George Weasley! And give Draco more lines or something, cuz he's my fave *innocent smile*
Alex: And he should be too!!!! I like you!
MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: O-kay…
Venus: Okay, that'll be fun! Next time, guys, Fred and George, and I think we'll only have one Star Wars character an episode, so I'll make sure to put all ones you suggested. Thanks!
MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: Bye! *Loud pop and she is gone too*
Alex: Why can't we just have Fred and George now?
Venus: You know, you're absolutely right! We should not make the reviewers wait that long! *Puts fingers to her head while all stare* *Closes eyes*
Ron: What the bloody hell is she doing?
Obi-Wan: Concentrating on getting Fred and George, whoever they are anyways, here, most likely…wait, I'll get it, hold on…*Does the exact same thing with eyes open, staring at Venus* *Stops* Yep, I was right!
All: Oh.
Venus: *Stops* Get ready…and someone move the coffee table.
Alex: *Pushes coffee table out of the way*
All except for Venus: What's happen-
(A loud pop is sounded and two red haired Weasleys are standing where the coffee table was)
Fred: George?
George: Blimey, that hurt, yes Fred?
Fred: Where the bloody hell are we, mate?
George: No idea.
Venus: Hello guys…
Both: *Confused* Um…hello…
Venus: Um, do you know where you are?
Both: Easy…no.
Venus: Well, I'm going to explain this so you won't hurt me-
Alex: She's locked you in her basement so people like her, me, and fanfic authors can torture you! And so far, I haven't gotten one SINGLE cookie, Draco is scared of me, Ron loves me, Harry isn't loved by anyone, Ginny is horny, Hermione is just Hermione, Neville is gay and Obi-Wan from Star Wars isn't! And this is all really crazy!!!! And Ron was being a jerk by saying blondes is easy.
Both: Oh.
Fred: You talk fast.
George: Uh huh…wait, Ron, blondes aren't easy! That's not very nice! *Smacks the top of Ron's head*
Alex: Yeah!
Ron: Owww…*Rubs his head*
Venus: Okay, we have more reviewers, people! Next up is…Ronsgf4ever!
(There is a loud pop and Ronsgf4ever has appeared)
Ronsgf4ever: Hey! I just want to suggest putting an obsessed Mary-Sue in the show!!!!
Venus: Ooohhh…GREAT IDEA!!!!! Thanks!
(There is another loud pop, and Ronsgf4ever is gone)
Venus: I know just the obsessed person! *Grabs telephone* *Dials number* Hey, Danny! Yeah, wanna come over, I have this great Emma Watson picture you can have…kay, see you- Danny? Danny? DANNY? Okay, he's coming in…5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
(Basement door bursts open revealing a lanky, dirty-blonde haired boy with a lot of zits)
Danny: I'm here, where's the picture, I- *Sees Hermione* Oh-my-GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Faints*
Hermione: Your not telling me that he's…he's…he's obsessed…with ME?
Alex: Yup, that's right. *Smiles* but better you than me!!!!
Hermione: OH-MY-GOD…THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S POSSIBLE!!!
Draco: That's very true, Mudblood…no one could EVER think your pretty…*Gags*
Alex: Well, actually that's not entirely true, Darling…*smiles at him* because on fanfic, there are a lot of Draco/Hermione stories…
Draco: WHAT…THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE…ME FALL IN LOVE WITH A MUDBLOOD…THAT IS JUST FUCKING…NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: Sorry honey, that's just the way some people think…but I think that you would be better off with me…
Venus: Please…actually Draco, some of those stories are pretty good…I'm actually writing my own, but it's one of those funny I hate you but I like you ones…
Draco: I DON'T CARE…IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN…YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO GO WITH THAT STUPID MUTT…
Hermione: SHUT UP MALFERRET…YOU STUPID-
Alex: NOW YOU WAIT RIGHT THERE…DRACO IS NOT STUPID…YOU ARE…BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY GAY OR SOMETHING…I MEAN ANY GIRL WITH A RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK THAT DRACO WAS THE HOTTEST GUY EVER!!!!!!
(All of a sudden Danny wakes up because of Alex and Hermione screaming at each other)
Danny: What…where am I…*starts to look around*
Hermione: Oh God…not again…
Alex: Hi Danny…you're in Lindsay's a.k.a Venus's basement…
Danny: Oh yeah…Venus was about to give me a picture of Emma Watson when…*looks around room and spots Hermione* *runs over to Hermione and does the same thing Alex did to Draco in the beginning* Can I be your love slave…
Venus: Danny…the answer is no, Draco…she's not ugly, get over it, Hermione…we all know that Draco is not stupid-
Alex: DAMN RIGHT…
Venus: Alex…Hermione is not gay or stupid…she is nice-
Hermione: Thank you…
Venus: and we both know that Draco is not exactly nice to the trio…so he has a right to be mean to them…and they have a right to be mean to him-
Alex: Whatever…
Venus: And we're going to get back to the reviewers…any questions…
Danny: What the hell is GOING ON?????
Venus: Alex, do you want to explain this one???
Alex: Sure…Danny…one of our reviewers said that we need an obsessed Mary-Sue type character-
Danny: But I'm not a girl…
Alex: That's not the point…you see…we needed someone obsessed with someone other than Draco for our fic…and you were the first to come to mind…
Danny: You mean these are actually real HP and Star Wars characters???
Hermione: Oh Gee…you're just an Einstein…aren't you?
Ron: Wait…who's Einstein?
Alex: Would every one stop with the damn interruptions?
All except Alex: Sorry.
Alex: Anyways…yes Danny…these are the real characters…and yes Hermione…he is just little Einstein, isn't he…and as for you Ron…shut the hell up…
(All this time Ginny has been staring at Danny's pants dreamily)
Ginny: Ooo…he's kinda cute…
Fred and George: Who?
Ginny: Duh…Danny is!
Alex and Venus: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING…YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND…HE'S NOT CUTE AT ALL!!!!
Danny: Hey…well considering I've known Alex since forever and Lindsay…well I've known her since 3rd grade I guess they are allowed to say that…
Alex: Anyways…Ginny I still think that you're out of your mind…
Ginny: I think that the only reason that you're saying this is because you like him…that's it you think that I might take your man…
Alex: Hold on, are you actually making the suggestion that I like Danny…I mean come on…he's more like a brother to me than a friend…I mean that would be just gross…
Ginny: Well it couldn't be as nasty as when I asked my brother to make-out with me…
Ron: Must we be reminded of that?
Alex and Ginny: Shut-up!!
Venus: Okay…lets just settle this already…
Alex: Why?
Venus: Because…okay…Ginny, Alex doesn't like Danny…Danny, Ginny really likes you…and Hermione, would you please give Danny a hug so he might possible stop complaining???
Hermione: *Hugs Danny*
Danny: Yeah…SHE HUGGED ME…SHE ACTUALLY HUGGED ME!!!!!
Alex and Venus: Danny…CALM DOWN…
Danny: Sorry…
Venus: Okay…now we seriously need to get back to the reviewers…
All: Okay…
Alex: Venus…can I introduce the next one…I mean you've introduced all of them so far…
Venus: Of course you can buddy…
Alex: Okay…and our next reviewer is…*drum roll*…PhoenixGirl1234567!
PhoenixGirl1234567: DRACO BELONGS TO ME! NO ONE ELSE SHALL HAVE HIM! *Evil laugh echoes through deserted castle*
Alex: *Face turns purple*
Venus: Here we go again…
Alex: *explodes again*
Venus: *whispers to Hermione*I wish people wouldn't do that sometimes…
Hermione: *giggles*
Alex: I'm back…anyways…
Danny: I didn't know you could do that…
Alex: That's because it's a hidden talent of mine…
Venus: Well I guess it isn't hidden anymore…you just put it all over the Internet twice…
Alex: Well…I could get all the people to forget…
Venus: How…you're not a Jedi…
Alex: Easy…Watch…*walks over to Ron*Hey, I have a favor to ask of you…
Ron: Who me?
Alex: I was wondering if you could get everyone to forget about my hidden talent…
Ron: I'm not that smart…
Alex: I'll give you a hug…
Ron: No, that's not a good enough bribe…
Alex: Fine a kiss on the cheek…and that's my final offer…
Ron: Yeah…I get a kiss from Alex, I get a kiss from Alex…*Alex gives Ron a very quick kiss on the cheek* (Ron tries to cast spell but it doesn't work)
Alex: You numbskull…I kissed you and you couldn't even cast a little spell-
Venus: *whispers to Alex*I know…why don't you just make Danny make-out with Hermione…I mean than they would all forget…
PhoenixGirl1234567: You know I'm still here right…
Venus: Oh yeah…be with you in a minute…
Alex: Hey Hermione…since Ron couldn't do that one little spell I have a favor to ask of you
Hermione: And when did I start doing you favors?
Alex: Please, Please, Please, PLEASE…
Hermione: No, No, No, NO…
Venus: Just do the damn favor…
Hermione: Fine…what is it?
Alex: I need you to make-out with Danny…
Hermione: Only if you do something for me…
Alex: What??
Hermione: Let me get back to you on that one…
Danny: Yeah…I get to make-out with Hermione…am I lucky or what?
Hermione: Okay…let's get this over with…*Danny and Hermione start to make-out*
Harry: Why did Hermione do this again?
Ron: I don't know…I guess I forgot…
Ten Minutes Later…Venus: Okay…you guys can stop making–out anytime now…
(Danny and Hermione pull away)
Hermione: You know what…I didn't hate it…
Alex: That is so off "So Little Time"…
PhoenixGirl1234567: I'm still here…
Venus and Alex: Oh crap…we totally forgot about you…we're sorry…
PhoenixGirl1234567: Moving on…this line had me cracking up: Venus: *Rolls eyes* yeah well, I know I don't own you, but
since I'm strong in the force, have the same IQ as Hermione, and am being
mentored by Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Morpheus, then I could make you love
me in a million different ways!
Venus: That was a funny line wasn't it?
Draco: And to think they said I was vain…
Venus: Hey one of our rules is: No making fun of the host/co-host…now I'm gonna have to do something to you to make up for it…
Draco: Like what…
Venus: I think that should be up to the reviewers…I think I'll let them make your life hell…
Draco: Please…don't make me kiss Alex…
Venus: Well, since you put the idea in my head
Draco: Please, please, please don't make me…
Venus: Hhhhhhmmmmmm…
Draco: I'll do anything…
Alex: Anything…
Draco: Not for you…
Alex: Don't forget…I can make Venus do just about anything…
(Alex and Draco keep arguing over the topic while Venus starts talking to the other reviewers)
Venus: Anyways…back to PhoenixGirl1234567…what was your next question?
PhoenixGirl1234567: I think you should have Jabba the Hut on the show...and the Ewoks! They are so cute!
Venus: Okay…thank you for revie-
PhoenixGirl1234567: Wait…I just have one more thing to
add...Sasami Jurai, how can you NOT think that Draco is sexy?
Venus: Okay…thanks…*another loud pop and PhoenixGirl1234567 disappears*
(Meanwhile, Alex and Draco are still arguing)
Harry: Are we almost done for today?
Venus: We only have one more reviewer…my good friend da-cool-princess1…*girl appears*
Da-cool-princess1: Hey, I have some things to ask…
Venus: Okay…
Da-cool-princess1: here's my questions: Harry, your hot…*swoons*
Harry: Thanks…
Da-cool-princess1: Ron, I'm a blonde, and I resent that…*smacks Ron*
Ron: Damn it…why do people keep hitting me…
Ginny: Maybe it was the comment you made in the first episode…
Ron: *looks at Alex* Oh…yeah…that…
Da-cool-princess1: Ginny…um…why are you so easy?
Ginny: Blame Harry…he's the one that gave me my first orgasm…even if I was only eleven…
Harry: I did what???????????
Da-cool-princess1: Draco, you should pick someone, you know, instead of going back and forth, cause it gets quite annoying…
Draco: I guess you right…
Da-cool-princess1: Alex, I'm friends with friends of Venus! *Shakes Alex's hand* but seriously, that busting Ron out WAS a little creepy...but still, good job!
Alex: Oh, nice to meet you…
Da-cool-princess1: Neville, get a life, you loser…
Neville: I am not a loser…
Alex: Yeah…sure…
Da-cool-princess1: Obi, SING! SING!
Obi: Maybe next episode…
Da-cool-princess1: Hermione, how are you? Feelin good?
So...when ya gonna hook up with Ron, cause we ALL know its GONNA happen...
Hermione: I'm fine…but I don't think Ron and me will ever be together…
Da-cool-princess1: Venus, Yeahh! You made a Harry Potter
talk show! Cool for you...anyways, *whispers* if you really want Draco, tie
Alex to a chair and wa-la! You got him!
Venus: Sorry…it's tempting…but I could never do that to my buddy…
Alex: Do what?
Venus: Oh…nothing…
Alex: Okay…
Venus: Well, this concludes this episode…please review and don't forget to take your cookies…oh and don't forget…we need ways that Hermione can get back at Alex and ways I can get back at Draco…
Alex: Please make me kiss Draco…
Venus: Shut up…now everyone say good-bye…
All: Good Bye!!!
*************************************************************************
Okay, reviewer thank yous, here we go:
MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: From Venus: Thanks!!! I'm glad you liked it, and I'll make sure to put those Star Wars characters you suggested up! Fred and George are already! Thanks! From Alex: Thank you for reviewing. Please continue to do so. Venus again: She's so much more polite when she's half asleep writing this at one fifty three in the morning, huh?
Sasami Jurai: From Venus: No, they aren't ALL dead!!!!! I've wakened them up inside, waken them up inside, called their names and saved them from the dark! Oh my gosh…I'm doing the Evanescence obsessing again…well, thanks for reviewing, and please keep doing it! *Smiles cheesily* I like reviewers who ask a considerable amount of questions! From Alex: Glad you liked it. Please continue to review. Venus again: She is tired…
Rongf4ever: From Venus: Very good idea, it made our friend Danny useful for something…I just hope next episode he doesn't start singing…*Gulp* His nickname in 3rd grade was "Opera-Boy" and still is!!!! Thanks for reviewing, and I'd love for you to continue doing it! From Alex: Finally…a way to get Danny out of my hair…I mean we asked him if he would be the obsessed Mary-Sue…and sure he wasn't to keen on the idea at first but he went along with it any way. Anyways, thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so. Venus again: She's wakened up!!!! Oh, and NOW I remember what boy Mary-Sue's are called! Gary-Sue's, right??? Oh well, too late now…thanks again!
PhoenixGirl1234567: From Venus: Yes, you spelled Jabba right!!!! And, I loved your review a lot because #1: it was hilarious #2: it was good sized with a good amount of questions and #3: it was hilarious! Thanks for reviewing and please continue! From Alex: Sorry, but DRACO IS MINE…no I guess we could share…maybe. Oh well…thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so. I still think Draco is mine. Venus again: I guess she's a little more tired and cranky than I thought…pay her no mind…with a lot of caffeine and me bugging the hell out of her, she's a little grumpy…pay her no mind and thanks again for reviewing!
Da-cool-princess1: From Venus: It is so great to here from you again! You have to email me sometime, and thanks for reviewing!!!! Are you still writing? Email me at my other email address and let me know! Thanks again! From Alex: I'm definitely glad to know that Ron's comment about blondes didn't just piss me off…and I really appreciated the many suggestions for the show. Thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so. Venus again: How many times has she typed "Please continue to do so now"? Plenty…she's too tired to think of anything ORIGINAL!!!! Thanks again…
Thanks all of you guys!!!! Please keep reviewing! We love you!!!! *Cookies for all reviewers*
Alex again: Venus, just shut the hell up…I want to go to SLEEP!!!!!!!!!
Venus: Fine! Bye guys!