What's it Like to Live: Chapter 8: The End's Will Never Meet
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He paced around his room, a million thoughts floating through his mind. He needed something to calm him down, but everything he had was either in his coffee table drawer or in one of his kitchen cupboards. He'd moved everything out of his room with the intention of putting it back, but never got to it. The Advil bottle! He had put some of his pills in the Advil bottle as a decoy so nobody look in there for anything.
He dug through his drawers but all he could find to wear were the clothes that Lynn had bought him. They were all shorts and bright t-shirts with cheesy sayings and pictures printed on them. He gave up trying to find something normal and put on a pair of tan shorts and a baby blue t-shirt.
He exited his room and walked as calmly as he could to the kitchen. He opened a cupboard and smiled triumphantly when he spotted the Advil bottle.
"What's the matter? Got a headache or something?" Joey's voice startled him and he almost dropped the two pills in his hand down the drain. He spun around, coming face to face with him. "Ah yea, I had a rough day at work."
"We're all waiting for you." Joey pointed a finger down the hallway towards the area where everybody else was sitting.
"Yea." Chandler said quietly, looking down at the floor. Joey sensed Chandler's tension and struggled to find something to say that would make the moment less uncomfortable. Nothing came to mind.
"Chandler, you have to do this, you have to talk to them-us. You can't keep running away from this, we're just going to keep following you, everywhere you go. Things need to be explained-"
"Why?!" Chandler yelled, cutting Joey off. "Why do I have to explain everything. Why can't you just leave me alone? Maybe I like my new life! Maybe I actually CAN live without you guys."
Joey stepped back, startled by his outburst. He had never seen Chandler like this before. A sudden anger coursed through him. Chandler should be grateful for what they were doing.
"Live?! You call this living?! Look at what you're doing to yourself. We're doing this because we care about you!" He yelled back. "We are NOT going to just stand on the sidelines and watch one of our best friends kill himself." Tears were now streaming down both of their faces, pent up emotions from the past years all coming out. Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross all came running down the hallway and into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about.
"What's going on?" Phoebe asked, although it was clear what was happening. Joey and Chandler stood facing each other, their faces streaked with tears and red from yelling.
"Why did you have to leave in the first place?! None of this would have happened if you had just stayed!" Joey yelled, inching his way closer to Chandler.
"Oh, so now all of this is my fault?! I think Monica had a great deal to do with my leaving." He calmed down. Just the mention of her name weakened him. Everybody looked over at Monica who was quietly standing in the corner of the kitchen. "Yea, why don't you ask her why we broke up. It sure as hell wasn't my fault." He spat.
"Monica? What happened." Rachel asked, not sure if she wanted to know.
Monica looked down at her shoes and said something but nobody could hear her. "What?" Phoebe asked, walking over to her.
"I cheated on him." She said it so quietly that nobody was sure if they had heard her right.
"You what?" Rachel's eyes widened.
"I cheated on him...with some guy from my work. I never meant for it to happen, and I certainly didn't mean for you to find out." Monica looked up into Chandler's eyes, still red from crying. "I'm so sorry Chandler." She cried, running over to him. She attempted to give him a hug but he pushed her away.
"I don't care about that anymore. The damage is done, I loved you once, but I'll never make that mistake again." The only look on his face was pure anger. Monica quietly backed away and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. "I don't see why I matter so much to you guys. I just want to be left alone." He cried, fresh tears starting to fall.
"Why didn't you come back Chandler? When you started to fall, you could have came back. We would have been ready to catch you." Ross said quietly, not looking up at him.
"You want to know why I didn't come back? Because I was scared. I had no idea what was happening to me. I changed, I was afraid you wouldn't like the person I had turned in to, you wouldn't think of me as the same person because I wasn't, and I'm still not, and I never will be. This is too hard, I can't take it anymore! I hate the person that I've become, and if I can't stand myself, I can only imagine what it must be like for everybody else around me." He dropped down to his knees, his body racking with heavy sobs. Phoebe got down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. His arms wrapped around her tightly, his head buried between her shoulder and her neck.
T B C
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Sorry for the short chapter, like I always say, I should have the next one up soon. I beg of you, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to know what you guys think and I really need suggestions and where to go with this!
))))))((((((
He paced around his room, a million thoughts floating through his mind. He needed something to calm him down, but everything he had was either in his coffee table drawer or in one of his kitchen cupboards. He'd moved everything out of his room with the intention of putting it back, but never got to it. The Advil bottle! He had put some of his pills in the Advil bottle as a decoy so nobody look in there for anything.
He dug through his drawers but all he could find to wear were the clothes that Lynn had bought him. They were all shorts and bright t-shirts with cheesy sayings and pictures printed on them. He gave up trying to find something normal and put on a pair of tan shorts and a baby blue t-shirt.
He exited his room and walked as calmly as he could to the kitchen. He opened a cupboard and smiled triumphantly when he spotted the Advil bottle.
"What's the matter? Got a headache or something?" Joey's voice startled him and he almost dropped the two pills in his hand down the drain. He spun around, coming face to face with him. "Ah yea, I had a rough day at work."
"We're all waiting for you." Joey pointed a finger down the hallway towards the area where everybody else was sitting.
"Yea." Chandler said quietly, looking down at the floor. Joey sensed Chandler's tension and struggled to find something to say that would make the moment less uncomfortable. Nothing came to mind.
"Chandler, you have to do this, you have to talk to them-us. You can't keep running away from this, we're just going to keep following you, everywhere you go. Things need to be explained-"
"Why?!" Chandler yelled, cutting Joey off. "Why do I have to explain everything. Why can't you just leave me alone? Maybe I like my new life! Maybe I actually CAN live without you guys."
Joey stepped back, startled by his outburst. He had never seen Chandler like this before. A sudden anger coursed through him. Chandler should be grateful for what they were doing.
"Live?! You call this living?! Look at what you're doing to yourself. We're doing this because we care about you!" He yelled back. "We are NOT going to just stand on the sidelines and watch one of our best friends kill himself." Tears were now streaming down both of their faces, pent up emotions from the past years all coming out. Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross all came running down the hallway and into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about.
"What's going on?" Phoebe asked, although it was clear what was happening. Joey and Chandler stood facing each other, their faces streaked with tears and red from yelling.
"Why did you have to leave in the first place?! None of this would have happened if you had just stayed!" Joey yelled, inching his way closer to Chandler.
"Oh, so now all of this is my fault?! I think Monica had a great deal to do with my leaving." He calmed down. Just the mention of her name weakened him. Everybody looked over at Monica who was quietly standing in the corner of the kitchen. "Yea, why don't you ask her why we broke up. It sure as hell wasn't my fault." He spat.
"Monica? What happened." Rachel asked, not sure if she wanted to know.
Monica looked down at her shoes and said something but nobody could hear her. "What?" Phoebe asked, walking over to her.
"I cheated on him." She said it so quietly that nobody was sure if they had heard her right.
"You what?" Rachel's eyes widened.
"I cheated on him...with some guy from my work. I never meant for it to happen, and I certainly didn't mean for you to find out." Monica looked up into Chandler's eyes, still red from crying. "I'm so sorry Chandler." She cried, running over to him. She attempted to give him a hug but he pushed her away.
"I don't care about that anymore. The damage is done, I loved you once, but I'll never make that mistake again." The only look on his face was pure anger. Monica quietly backed away and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. "I don't see why I matter so much to you guys. I just want to be left alone." He cried, fresh tears starting to fall.
"Why didn't you come back Chandler? When you started to fall, you could have came back. We would have been ready to catch you." Ross said quietly, not looking up at him.
"You want to know why I didn't come back? Because I was scared. I had no idea what was happening to me. I changed, I was afraid you wouldn't like the person I had turned in to, you wouldn't think of me as the same person because I wasn't, and I'm still not, and I never will be. This is too hard, I can't take it anymore! I hate the person that I've become, and if I can't stand myself, I can only imagine what it must be like for everybody else around me." He dropped down to his knees, his body racking with heavy sobs. Phoebe got down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. His arms wrapped around her tightly, his head buried between her shoulder and her neck.
T B C
))))))((((((
Sorry for the short chapter, like I always say, I should have the next one up soon. I beg of you, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to know what you guys think and I really need suggestions and where to go with this!