Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!
Author: Venus725
Summary: I wonder what would happen if an obsessed fanfic author by the name of Venus725 locked some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters in her basement? Let's see!
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13 (for now…hehehe)
Disclaimer: Though I wouldn't put it past Alex or me on trying to make HP ours, alas, it is not. God Bless J.K. Rowling!
Note: Yes, IT'S BEEN A LOOOOOONG TIME. WE ARE SORRY. NOW READ AND REVIEW!
Chapter 4- Strip Poker and a Special Guest
Venus: Welcome to…
All except for Harry: Yes, Were Keeping Them Hostage!
Harry: Sarcastically and unenthusiastically Whoo hoo…
Venus: Shut up, Scarhead…Rolls eyes Hey all! Today we will be playing strip poker, and we will also have a special guest…guesting as a temporary co-host, please welcome…MauraSlytherinBitch!
(MauraSlytherinBitch appears with a pop. She has reddish-brown hair, tan skin, and is about 5 '8".)
MauraSlytherinBitch: Hey all!
Harry: Unenthusiastically Hey…
Everyone else: Applaud
Venus (To Harry): What's with you?
Harry: Well…let's think…um, well, my Godfather just died, a major murderer is out to get me, I'm stuck in this horrible talkshow with a host that picks on me for no reason, even though she's nice at times TO EVERYBODY BESIDES ME, and my life is wonderful as it is with nearly everyone in the wizarding world thinking I'm a delusional, attention-seeking prat. Does that explain it?
Venus: Yeah…Ooo…Um…sorry…Okay, I'll make you a deal Harry…I won't be mean to you anymore. But that doesn't mean Alex won't…
Harry: Happier All right.
Venus: Yeah, 'cause I can't do anything about all the other stuff…
Harry: I know.
Venus: Yeah, so anyways, welcome to the fourth chapter. First off we're going to wake up Alex so she can help MauraSlytherinBitch and me. What are we doing again?
Ron: Excitedly DRENCHING HER IN WATER!
Venus: Uh…not. Um…
Danny: We could kick her in the head!
All: Stare
Venus: Danny…#1, NO, #2, get help, #3, GET HELP!
MauraSlytherinBitch: I'm not feeling very safe here.
Venus: Um…you read the story right? You're not supposed to.
MauraSlytherinBitch: I know, just thought that would be funny.
Venus: 'Twas. Also, before we wake her up again, I would like to introduce Anakin Skywalker (VAINER THAN DRACO!), Padme Amidala (COW!), and the hobbit from the shire with REALLY, REALLY blue pretty eyes, Frodo Baggins!
Anakin: How come you didn't mention how HOT I am, Venus?
Venus: Because all of your fangirls DON'T need to be reminded again.
Fangirls reading this: Swoon
Venus: Give me a break…
Hermione: GIVE ME A BREAK, GIVE ME A BREAK, BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT-KAT BAR! Pouts Its just not the same without Alex…
Venus: She'll be back in a minute, calm down…Mutters I don't know why they like her so much, I created this darn thing, she's only in it cause she forced me by grabbing my bra strap…
Draco: Do we absolutely HAVE to wake her up?
Ron: YES!
Venus: Hmmm…the possibilities…
To go inside Venus's odd and disturbing mind (I've warned you)…Hmmm…to wake her up or not to wake her up?
Old guy: YOU WITH THAT CATFISH! IT'S MINE!!!! MWAHAHAAAAA!
Catfish? What the HELL is George talking about?
Cow: Singing I AM PADME, I AM PADME, YES I AM, YES I AM! ANAKIN IS SUCKY LOVER, AND A BIG FAT LOSER, YES HE IS, YES HE IS!
Does he have a small…erm…lightsaber…erm…too? Wait, why am I asking this? Damn Draco is fine…YUMMY…
Alex: DRACO IS MINE BITCH!
Get over it…you KNOW he loves me…
Cow: Yes, he has VERY small…um…equipment. I kinda used to wish to see Obi-Wan's when Anakin was younger.
No, Obi-Wan isn't that easy…Obi-Wan is COOL! And YUMMY…I want to see Orlando Bloom too…and Ryan Gosling…right NOW would be good…
Alex: TOO FUCKING BAD, THEY'RE MINE TOO, BITCH! AND YES, YOU ARE WAKING ME UP, SO NO MORE THINKING! AND YOU, OLD GUY, OR GEORGE, THAT'S MY CATFISH!
Well that settles it…and I think Alex has officially cracked…or is it my dream Alex or the bitchy Alex in my head? Oh well…
Let's uh…leave this scary place, called my mind, now…
Venus: Yes, Draco, we are going to have to wake her up.
Draco: Damn it! Fuck those stupid Mudbloods!
Hermione: HEY YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
Harry: Hermione?
Ron: Um…wow…and you yelled at me for calling Snape a git…Hahaha, I've got blackmail now…
Hermione: Shut up Ron…
Draco: I curse Mudbloods when I'm angry. Get over it.
Venus: Yeah, okay, so we're going to wake up Alex now. How?
Ron: Drench her in cold, cold, cold, COLD water!
Danny: We could always just kick her…or throw something at her…
Venus: For the last FUCKING time, HELL NO! Younglings, younglings…Haha, I sound like Yoda…Applauds self Anyways…
Ginny: How 'bout we make Draco kiss her?
Draco: HELL FUCKING NO!
Venus: Well since that little remark slipped out…Grins evilly ITS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!
Draco: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-Pauses to take a deep breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Venus: Geez…didn't know you cared about it that much…in that case-
Draco: PLEASE VENUS, I WILL DO ANYTHING!
Venus: Before I was so RUDELY interrupted…I was going to say…well…I'LL ENJOY YOUR PAIN EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Draco: NOOOOOOOO!
Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOO FAIR!!!!! THE RICH GOODLOOKING PRAT GETS FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!
Draco: You wanna kiss her…you go right on ahead…I'll stand here and watch…while looking as handsome as ever, of course.
Venus: Yup. That's the way the cookie crumbles. (A/N Venus: LOL, I LOVE THAT MOVIE!) And even if you ARE pretty, Draco, you're still kissing her. And get over it, I mean, its not like her lips are moldy or anything…
Draco: Skeptical look Can we verify that first?
Danny: Well…you can trust me…I've kissed her before and her lips are definitely NOT moldy.
Venus: Eww…did NOT need to know that…eww…bad picture in MY HEAD!
Ron: That's not fair…every guy except me gets to kiss her!
Anakin: That's not true. I haven't.
Frodo: I haven't either.
Twins: Neither have we.
Harry: And what am I? A girl? NOT. I haven't kissed her either Ron, get a grip on yourself…
Ron: In huffy tone of voice Fine.
Venus: And you got a kiss on the cheek from her…anyways, kiss her Draco! But first…Smiles slyly Puts on same cool DJ outfit and conjures up a huge sound system and everything a DJ doing karaoke would need AGAIN
All: Stare
Venus: Trust me, its gonna be good. Turns on music and grabs microphone Singing You know you wanna…kiss the girl…Don't be shy…wow woo! You know you wanna…kiss the girl…
(A/N Venus: So I don't exactly know the words…don't pick on me)
Draco: On perfect tune I know I wanna…kill the girl…
Venus: JUST FUCKING KISS HER OR I'LL MAKE YOU MAKE OUT WITH HER!
Draco: I thought you LIKED me…Pouts
Venus: Can feel herself beginning to go soft Think mode again I…must…resist…his…sexual…powers…lord knows…think…of…suffering…torture…evil…EVIL…EVIL! Turns back into normal, evil Venus I do…but torturing others is fun too.
Draco: Knows he's gonna have to Okay, okay…fine. Conjures a glass of salt water and a small bottle of breath freshener
Venus: I thought you DIDN'T want to kiss her…
Draco: No matter WHO the girl is, I can't let her be disappointed…Smirks (Gargles salt water and spits it back into cup and then sprays some breath freshener in his mouth) K…I'm ready…
Venus: Mutters Fucking finally god damn it…
Draco: Leans down by Alex's face and softly presses his lips on hers quickly
Alex: Waking up What happened? It was so weird…the last thing I remember was Draco singing…then I was in Venus's head…then I had the weirdest dream…it was so odd because Draco ACTUALLY kissed me…
All: Smile weirdly
Alex: What?
Venus: Nothing…
Ron: IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!
Venus: It kinda isn't for you…and for me. Tsk, Alex always gets the bad boys. I should have just made Draco tell people his innermost, darkest secrets…like the one about his Father forcing him to be a Death Eater, and how his father is a rich, cold-hearted, loveless bastard, and how he sleeps with nearly every girl in Hogwarts…Stops to think Oh, wait, those aren't secrets.
Draco: I DO NOT SLEEP WITH EVERY GIRL IN HOGWARTS!
All: Stare
Draco: Honestly, it is JUST a reputation. I've only ever slept with Pansy, and a few other Slytherins.
Venus: Oh, and that is just SO much better. Winks playfully
Draco: Hey, I can't help it that I'm sexy. Is relieved Venus understands his teenage turmoil and smiles (A/N Venus: Don't you love how I make Draco all angsty and hormonal? Don't worry, he's NEVER going to go good on you…he'll be evil for…EVER!)
Venus: Looks him up and down wistfully You speak the truth.
Alex: Still confused WHAT?
Venus: I'll explain later…right now we've got LOTS of reviewers…
Alex: Really? AWESOME!
Venus: And a new temporary co-host…Alex, meet MauraSlytherinBitch…and Maura, I hope it's okay that I call you Maura by the way (its shorter), this is Alex…the girl we've been discussing for over an hour…Glares at Draco, finally rid of her sympathetic streak
Draco: Grimaces, remembering Let's not talk about it…
Alex: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?
Ron: Do you really wanna know?
Alex: YES!!!!!!!
Venus: Slaps Ron before he is able to say anything Too bad. Mesa is havin' fun keeping YOU in agony for once…Hahaha…
Alex: Looks at Lindsay Don't make me grab your bra strap again…
Venus: Sticks out tongue Well, you can't, because I'm not wearing one!
Ron: Really?
Venus: OF COURSE I'M WEARING ONE DUMBASS! Geez, I'm now like the sanest one here…me and Harry, anyway…
Harry: Wow. You really are being nice.
Venus: Well, a promise is a promise…I'm really a good girl at heart, even though I'm evil and cunning in what I do. Plus, you've grown. You're pretty damn hot in your fake Adidas in 'Azkaban'.
Harry: Smiles and blushes Thanks. (A/N Venus: Hey, the poor boy ain't used to compliments!)
Alex: Pouts Fine, whatever, I know you, you can't keep a secret, you'll tell me in a matter of minutes… Looks at Maura Your name is long…and funny.
Maura: Thanks…I guess.
Alex: Hey…Anakin, Padme, and Frodo are here…hey guys.
Anakin: So you're the one who-
Venus: Nuh uh. Nope. No giving away ANYTHING Ani-poo.
Anakin: O-kay. It's nice to be out of that hot studio room with fangirls trying to kill me and Angel trying to seduce me…
Venus: Hey, no no's! 'Let's Chat Again', MY other talkshow, people, if you don't understand…I uh…kind of transported Padme and Anakin here from there on their break time…hehehe, fun, right?
Alex: Sure. Padme, Venus says you're a mooing cow. Is it true?
Padme: No.
Alex: I don't believe you.
Venus: Good. Review time.
Alex: First up is…Animegirl123!!!!
(Animegirl123 pops in)
Animegirl123: I just want to say that I love Harry!
Alex: Well good for you!
Harry: YAY…SOMEONE LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Venus: You know, you seriously underestimate your fangirl power, Mr. Potter. I love you too, in fact, I'm pretty sure a whole bunch of Potterheads like myself do, considering the fact that every book is called "Harry Potter and the…". You are the 'hero-in-training', or in other words, the main character.
Harry: You love me? Cool! Yeah, that's a pretty valid point.
Animegirl123: To Harry: Will you marry me? Puppy dog look
Harry: Turns back to reviewer Um…I'm only fifteen, yeah so…I'm British! I don't live in Kentucky!
Venus: Hey, that's not nice…but funny. Giggles
Animegirl123: To everyone except Harry: If anyone of you hurt Harry I will personally dispose of you. Cracks knuckles violently
All: All righty then…
Animegirl123: To Venus: I want my cookie I need my cookie to get sugar high!
Venus: I don't think you need any more sugar…but here ya go! Hands cookie, smiling
Animegirl123: To Draco: actually I don't think you're hot at all. In fact I think you're an ugly bastard-
Alex: turns purple about to explode
Venus: Oh shit…not again…
Alex: explodes
Venus: When will people learn NOT to do that anymore? I mean, THEY MAKE ME SUFFER, DAMNIT!
Animegirl123: Who has stinking Deatheater parents and is mean to muggles and muggleborns. You do know that Venus is a muggle.
Draco: Scratches his pretty blonde head She is? Then how does she do spells and Jedi tricks and junk? I'm confused…
Hermione: You're so dim you probably always are.
Draco: Stupid Mudblood, I'm the best in our year!
Hermione: Smirks After me.
Draco: Still! Anyways, Venus, ARE you a Muggle?
Venus: Sighs, ashamed Technically I AM Muggleborn…but I think I might be a half-blood…my aunt is a little…let's say…"funky" sometimes…I'm thinking my mother is a Squib and has yet to tell me. Who knows? And, remember this, both of my "Muggle" parents were hippies…ring a bell? Plus, they are so the opposite of anti-magic like the Dursleys. Oh, and I guarantee you that, if I attended Hogwarts, I'd most likely be housed in Slytherin (despite my supposed ancestry), because I'm not normal enough to be in Hufflepuff, I'm not diligent enough to be in Ravenclaw, and though I'm brave enough to be in Gryffindor, I'm more cunning and selfish than most people, so I'd probably be like the nicest Slytherin. I consider myself good-hearted, so who knows? If not Slytherin, then Gryffindor. Anyways, I'm still strong in the force Beams as a Jedi apprentice to Master Serina Cough, Cough, let's just say I know the location of Zyon, have entered the Matrix Cough, know an incredible teacher named Morpheus, and am a fully licensed and trained…er…wizard. Erm.
Draco: Wow, okay then…Slytherin! Good! But…how? How are you a licensed wizard already? You're the same age as us, right?
Venus: Yes, Alex and me are but erm…we have…erm…special abilities Cough and erm…yeah, no more questions, it involves…er…legal issues.
All: Okay then…
Alex: I'd be in Gryffindor or Slytherin, but most likely Gryffindor because I'm near foolishly brave and loyal and good hearted and all that crap! Yet, I may very well be in Slytherin too, because after being brave if someone else were in trouble I would probably never notice and walk off.
Venus: Smiles Yes, dear, I know, and we would still be best buddies and we would have inter-house unity!
All: Stare
Venus: Um…never mind.
Animegirl123: To Alex: I don't care if you're going to explode so nahsticks out tongue
Alex: flips off Animegirl123
Venus: Please excuse her and DON'T stop reviewing…she's a bitch, I'm sorry!
Alex: HEY! mutters under breath fucker…
Animegirl123: To Venus: you should make Draco kiss Alex awake like a Rapunzel thing! I like the story it rocks-
Padme: But she-
Venus: COW, don't even think about it…and I think you mean Sleeping Beauty…Rapunzel had the long hair.
Animegirl123: And remember Harry's mine if anyone tries to take him then Casually takes out a chainsaw
All: stare at her scared
Animegirl123: I love you Harry! With loud pop she disappears
Harry: All right, another fan.
Venus: All right then, next reviewer is…Maura, if you please…
Maura: Ok…our next reviewer is…insane trio!
Insane trio: George, will you go out with me?? PLEASE!!
George: Are you triplets?
Insane trio: Well no…not exactly…
George: DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Insane trio: Draco, what do you have against Harry?? I mean, just because he's nicer than you are and is in a better house isn't any reason to be mean to him.
Alex: looks like she wants to explode at the ignorant comment
Draco: Better house? Puh-lease…and because he's a stupid git…
Harry: At least I'm not vain like you Ferret Boy!
Ron: GO HARRY, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY…WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Alex: Where the hell did you learn that one? And why the hell are you singing it?
Ron: Well my dad just got this muggle invention called a TV…and it's got this thing called cable…
Alex: I'm aware of what a TV and cable are so just continue…
Ron: Well one day while flipping channels I found a channel called MTV… and well, they play a lot of music…so one day I was watching this guy called Fifty Cents…
Alex: screaming It's Fifty Cent…not Cents!!!!!
Venus: You can't talk shit about Fifty Cent…Ja Rule tried it, and it didn't work out so well…DO YOU WANT TO GET SHOT??
Alex: Yeah, true…Venus and Alex do secret handshake
Ron: Ok…Fifty CENT…well I was listening to a song called "In the Club"…and he sings that…only he says, "Go Shorty"…
Alex: The song is called "In Da Club"! In my friend Jane's wise words, "GET IT SCRAIT!"
Insane trio: I'M STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!
Venus: Oh yeah…Blushes sorry, continue with your questions…
Insane trio: Ok…Ginny, will you go out with my little brother?
Ginny: UUUMMM…
Insane trio: He's got a HUGE crush on you.
Ginny: I couldn't…I like Danny too much…
Danny: Whoa there buddy…hold on…WHAT????
Insane trio: I think I'm gonna leave now…with a loud pop girl disappears
Alex: DANNY HAS A CRUSH…DANNY HAS A CRUSH…DANNY HAS A-
Danny: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SKINNY LITTLE NO ASS FUCKING WHORE!!
Venus: Besides, the grammatically correct thing to say would be "Ginny has a crush on Danny", not "Danny has a crush", because, Danny did not admit to having feelings for Ginny, Ginny admitted to having feelings for Danny. Smiles
Alex: Didn't hear a word Venus said What did you just call me?
Harry: He called you a skinny little no ass fucking whore…
Alex: I know I heard him…I'm not deaf…
Harry: Then why did you-?
Hermione: Mutters to self Goodness, he's tactless…did the same thing with Cho last year…
Ron: WHY YOU LITTLE- punches Danny in the jaw
Ginny: screaming RON!!!!!!!
Danny: strikes back pathetically I'm ok…
Alex: laughing hysterically So Danny…who hits harder…Ron or me?
Danny: holding jaw Honestly? I don't know…they were about the same…
Ron: punches Danny in the eye Did that help you decide?
Danny: OK…it's official…he hits harder!
Alex: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Venus: AAAHHH…that was so nice of Ron…Alex I think you owe him for that…he stuck up for you!
Alex: So…I didn't make him do it…he did that on his own!
Venus: Oh, come on…he was being so nice…you have to do something for him now.
Alex: With his perverted mind, you couldn't pay me to give him a favor…
Ron: I'M SORRY…I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID BLONDES WERE EASY!!!!
All: OH MY GOD!!!!
Alex: Liar…you're just saying that so I do a favor for you…
Venus: You're so mean…I DECLARE THAT YOU MUST GIVE HIM A SMALL KISS ON THE LIPS OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU LIKED DA-
Alex: WHAT?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Venus: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST!
Alex: YES!!!!!! I MUSN'T!
Venus: YES YOU MUSN'T! Wait…I mean…
Alex: HA…you just said I mustn't…so I won't…HAHAHAHA…got caught in your own game!
Venus: Fine, how about this! I DARE YOU TO GIVE RON A SMALL KISS ON THE LIPS!
Alex: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-small pause for breath- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-another small pause for breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-yet another small pause for breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron: What's a dare? Thinks Oh, right, it's that Muggle game-
Venus: Interrupts him When someone dares another person to do something they either have to do it…or get picked forever because they didn't do a dare…
Alex: YEAH…like the time Dillon dared you to suck his-
Venus: OK…NO MORE STORY TIME…LETS GET BACK TO THE REVIEWERS…
Danny: Raises eyebrows mischievously But I wanna hear about the dare…
Venus: NO…NO MORE DARES…TRUTH OR DARE IS NEXT EPISODE…NOT THIS ONE!!!!!!! AND DILLON IS A HORNY BITCH AND I DIDN'T DO THAT. THAT IS JUST SICK AND WRONG AND NASTY!
Danny: whining Come on Lindsay. No fair Alex knows about it.
Alex: laughing Ha ha…she won't tell you about the perverted dare that Dillon gave her and she DIDN'T accept…
Venus: YOU WOULDN'T EITHER, BITCH, IT WAS WRONG!
Alex: Well, that's certainly true, I'm no whore!
Danny: Are you so sure about that?
Alex: Yes you stupid bastard…punches Danny again
Danny: Ouch…shit that hurt…
Venus: Stop it you guys…Alex, I know you're not a whore…me neither! Calms down Well Alex…when are you gonna do that dare? You know you still have to kiss Ron on the lips…unless you WANT me to tell Danny about-
Alex: Fine…I'll do it…come here Ron…mutters under her breath I'm going to fucking kill you, Venus…
Ron: Alex, I know how much you don't wanna do this…so if you really don't want to you don't have to…
Venus: Yes she does…it was a dare.
Alex: Ok…here it goes…kisses Ron quickly on the lips
Danny: Amazed OH MY GOD!
Harry: Surprised OH MY GOD!
Draco: Rejoicing BLOODY HELL SHE'S FINALLY OVER ME!!!!!
Alex: Whoever said that? I'm still totally in love with you…I only did that because of what Venus was going to tell Danny.
Danny: By the way Venus…what was it you were saying?
Venus: Sorry Opera Boy…she did the dare…I'm afraid I can't spill the beans!
Danny: In anger and frustration, he passes gas very, VERY loudly
All: Laugh hysterically
Harry and Ron: Together But Danny sure can cut them-
Hermione: Fanning her nose EEEWWW…that was gross…
Danny: Saddened that Hermione does not approve
Ginny: Don't worry Danny…I still love you…
Venus: Looks at Ginny oddly You have ODD taste in boys!
Alex: Laughing I'll say…I mean, come on…she likes Danny…who in their right mind would ever like him?
Venus: Coughs
Alex: Screaming DON'T YOU FUCKIN' DARE BITCH! YOU DO AND I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL GO SECRET WINDOW ON YOU!! grabs a nearby screwdriver
Venus: Hold on Alex, dear buddy, I was not going to say anything…
Alex: Ok…throws screwdriver at Danny
Danny: What the fuck was that for?
Alex: Just felt like it I guess…
Maura: I'm really starting to get scared now…
Alex: Did you actually think that you wouldn't?
Maura: Well no…I knew what I was getting into but still…
Venus: Why don't we get back to the reviewers…we've only talked to two of them so far…
Harry: You mean all this time we have been talking and only two reviewers have been here…oh my god you guys ARE crazy…
Alex: SHUT THE HELL UP, SCARHEAD!
Harry: Fine…pick on the scrawny little white boy…
Draco: SHUT UP ALREADY!
Venus: Don't you guys dare start another fight!
Alex: Let's just get to the reviewers…
Maura: Ok…our next reviewer is, the lovely, UnCoNtRoLaBlE!
All: Applaud as UnCoNtRoLaBlE pops in
Venus: 'Lo. Questions!
UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Well, I don't have much to say except yay! Another chapter! By the way, I love the story! The only thing that sucks for me is that I've never watched Star Wars so I don't know any of the characters-
Venus: Begins to hyperventilate
Alex: Ah, there are my earplugs…Puts in her handy earplugs once again hey…I highly suggest covering up your ears or suffer from hearing loss…
All except Venus: grabs earplugs off of the coffee table
Venus: WHAT?????? WHAT????? IT ISN'T BLOODY FUCKING POSSIBLE!!!!!! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW OF STAR WARS???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: Screaming over Venus's desperate roars DONE YET?
Venus: Calms self Yes…sorry all, lost it there…Sighs Go on.
All: take out earplugs
UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Ok…anyways, my suggestion for waking up Alex, would be to…throw a rabid chipmunk on her face. He starts to foam at the mouth 'cause he has rabies. Poor Alex (she has to get attacked and stuff to wake up) can I have some puppy chow too? Please??
Venus: Sure. Tosses bag
Alex: But I'm already awake! And hey, that isn't nice!
UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Thankies!! Leaves
Venus: Ciao! Maura, if you would be so kind as to introduce our next reviewer too…
Maura: Of course, Venus! Glad to have a chance to help out! Next reviewer is Opaque2! Opaque2 pops in
Opaque2: Hey! Cool Fic! Ok first things first... walks over to Fred and George May I have a Ton Tongue Toffee and an Extendable Ear?
Fred: Yeah, sure, hold on a tick…
Venus: Giggles Austin says that… Giggles more
George: Here you are. Hands her Ton Tongue Toffee and Extendable Ear
Opaque2: Cool, thanks. Venus, have Bellatrix Lestrange in the fic.
Venus: I'm not sure…she's kinda evil…and yeah, I like, despise her, because, well, she killed my favorite character of all TIME…Sobs
Moment of Silence for Sirius BlackMay you R.I.P. forever
Moment endedVenus: Wiping away tears
Harry: Trying not to cry (A/N Venus: Give him a break, he just lost the closest thing he had to a father!)
Opaque2: And you should have Alex kiss Draco…when she wakes up... Harry... Is being constricted by albino cobra This is Snow. I speak parseltongue...and she said she has...Laughs a crush on you...so just...talk to her or something...yeah...
Anakin: But he already kissed her, didn't he?
Venus: Caught off guard as mesmerized by the snake WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Alex: WHAT? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! DRACO LOVES ME, DRACO LOVES ME, HE KISSED ME, HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Draco: I DO NOT LOVE YOU, and just so you know your lips are hard and dry and you need some Blistex…
Venus: But that's not nice…oh well, I don't really care that much. Plus, I don't think she heard you or cares to hear you, as she's still rejoicing like my sister does when I get grounded, which is hardly EVER…Smiles UNLIKE SOMEBODY HERE…Coughs loudly at Alex who is still singing to herself
Alex: DRACO KISSED ME, DRACO KISSED ME…
Five Minutes LaterAlex: Still singing merrily
Venus: Moving ON…
Alex: DRACO LOVES ME, DRACO KISSED ME…
Opaque2: Right…Ron...My hair was blonde-brown before I died it dark red...And I consider what you said an insult slaps Ron across the face, leaving a nice red hand mark Serves you right...
Ron: OK, WORLD, I'M SOOOOOO SORRY, ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ALL KNOW I'M A BIT OF AN IDIOT AND KIND OF A GIT, THOUGH NOT AS MUCH AS THE BOUNCING FERRET OVER THERE, AND IT SLIPPED OUT!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, ACCEPT MY APOLOGY!!!!!
All: Wowed
Venus: He means business…
Alex: Finally stops screaming/singing to self Huh?
Venus: Even though I'm not blonde but a striking brunette Winks, I accept your apology, Ron…
Alex: Thinking about what Venus just said…even though she has no clue what is going on Maybe I should do what Venus is doing…sounds safe enough, she's a wuss… End thinking mode Me too!
Ron: You do?
Alex: Yep. Sure.
Harry: You do realize you just forgave him for calling blondes easy, right?
Alex: Huh? What? OH SHIT…I TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!
Venus: Oh god…do-overs are so second grade…nope, you said it, you meant it, and you CAN'T TAKE IT BACK! AND I'M NOT A WUSS!
Alex: Flips her off
Venus: Now that was unnecessary.
Alex: No, it was unnessecelery…
Maura: Confused What?
Venus: Just…DON'T ask…
Danny: ASKING!
Alex: Shut up before you get hit.
Danny: Scared Not again!
Maura: Okie dokie then…
Opaque2: Hermione...you're my second fave character.
Hermione: Well thanks for that…I appreciate it…
Danny: Well you're my favorite…end of story…
Alex: Shut up jack butt.
Danny: What?
Alex: Either shut up or go fuck a monkey turd…
Danny: MAKE ME YOU STUPID LITTLE ANOREXIC SKINNY NO ASS WHORE!!!
Alex: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET BACK INTO THAT CONVERSATION YOU STUPID BABOON'S ASS?
Venus: breaks up Alex and Danny fighting Stop being so damn immature…it's annoying. Besides, Danny, Alex may be unnaturally skinny, but you really need to look in the mirror…
Alex: Laughs Yeah, pizza face!
Danny: Hey! My acne isn't that bad, anymore!
Venus: Stop fighting!
Alex and Danny: still screaming loudly FINE DAMNIT!!!
Venus: Anyways…you were saying, Opaque2?
Opaque2: Bellatrix is my fave...Sirius is my third...okies! I'll hush now...shifts into Animagus form, a beige cat with odd silvery-grey eyes and leaps on Ron, clawing at his face, then nods to them all and leaves heh heh!
Ron: Well THAT was odd…
Venus: Ok…we need to get moving on…we still have a bunch of reviewers…
Harry: In a whiny tone You mean we're not done yet?
Alex: Isn't that what she just said…stupid fucker…
Venus: Sigh Yes, Harry, I know, I'm sorry, we really do have to get the reviews moving…in fact, I think I'm gonna have to split this chapter into two chapters when I upload it, but we'll see.
GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER AKA PART 2!