What's it Like to Live: Chapter 10: torn between the two
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It had been several hours since any one of the five of them had seen Chandler. After disappearing to his room, he never came back out and they had yet to hear a noise from the other side of the wall that divided them. Monica excused herself from the living room where they were all watching a movie and headed down the hallway towards his room.
She knocked three times and after getting no reply, let herself in. He was lying face up on his bed in a pair of grey cotton shorts and the same t-shirt as before. Although his eyes were closed, she knew he was awake. He used to lay in bed for hours before they went to sleep when they were dating. "Chandler?" Monica asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him from the concentrated trance he seemed to be in.
He slowly turned his head away from the ceiling, finally noticing that he was not alone in the room. "What do you want?" He asked, not in an angry or annoyed voice, but a calm and peaceful one, like he was talking to a child.
"Are you ok?" She asked, taking a seat on the side of his bed. He took a deep sigh and sat up, crossing his legs Indian style.
"Why do I always have to be ok? Why do people always ask, are you ok? Are you feeling ok? It's like a when a guy gets hit by a bus and the first thing his wife asks the doctor is 'Is he going to be ok?' or 'Is he going to be alright?'. Just because the guy is alive doesn't necessarily mean he is or is going to be ok." He stopped and gave Monica a meaningful look.
"I really don't know. I guess It's all a person can think to ask. They want you to be ok, not on the verge of death." She leaned back against the headboard and also crossed her legs, sitting a few feet behind him.
"I missed you so much Monica, I actually still think I do. I never should have left. I hate this life, it's too unpredictable. When I lived with Joey and had all of you guys to lean on, I was safe, protected...happy. Now I'm miserable, and the few friends I have don't do justice to you guys." He laid back down, his head resting in Monica's lap, but he still didn't look into her eyes.
"You can always come back you know. Sure things can't be the same, but we'd still have each other." She said, running her left hand over his hair.
"When Lynn, my assistant, was talking me out of committing suicide, she said something that really made me think."
"What was that?"
"Well, one of the reasons that she said not to do it was because I would be hurting so many other people around me. But it made me wonder, is their happiness worth more than mine? Do I really have to sacrifice my satisfaction with myself for someone else's? By staying alive I'm keeping them happy, but in return, trapping myself in an invisible hell from which I cannot escape." He finally looked up into her deep blue eyes, and the look that she gave him, told him that she actually did care about him. He sat up and scooted back against the headboard, sitting shoulder to shoulder with her. "Since I was 16, I've only been trying to accomplish one thing." He stopped, staring into her eyes.
"I'm guessing you haven't accomplished it yet."
"No. I've been trying to find the perfect girl." He smiled.
"What's your idea of the perfect girl?" She said, matching his smile.
"A girl that doesn't mind using one of her sick days just to get away from it all. A girl that just likes to drive around the city for hours, just for the heck of it. A girl that doesn't mind getting caught in a water fight with her friends and family. A girl that will borrow my car and return with an empty tank of gas and doesn't feel guilty about it. A girl that can't stay mad at a dog that just chewed up her entire apartment because he's just so dang cute. A girl that likes to sit around with the guys, drink beer, and play video games. A girl that cheers for my team when we go to a basketball game even though she doesn't like the sport. A girl that likes to sleep in on weekends instead of getting up at seven so she can make it to the Macy's sale right when it starts. A girl that doesn't always have to be the center of attention. A girl that doesn't mind silence every once and a while." He paused and looked at Monica. "A girl that has the greatest time in the world, just being herself, hanging out with the same friends that she's had for years.
Monica smiled at inched her way closer to Chandler. "I think I know a girl like that."
That was the last coherent sentence spoken before they found themselves locked in a passionate kiss, both never wanting it to end for fear of what the other would do.
T B C
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I'm SO sorry that this is so short, but that's what you get for only giving me 5 reviews. That and I don't have time to write more because I've gotta leave. I do have to say that four reviews is better than the usual one or two, but that's not enough! PLEASE REVIEW!!! The more reviews, the faster I will update!
))))))((((((
It had been several hours since any one of the five of them had seen Chandler. After disappearing to his room, he never came back out and they had yet to hear a noise from the other side of the wall that divided them. Monica excused herself from the living room where they were all watching a movie and headed down the hallway towards his room.
She knocked three times and after getting no reply, let herself in. He was lying face up on his bed in a pair of grey cotton shorts and the same t-shirt as before. Although his eyes were closed, she knew he was awake. He used to lay in bed for hours before they went to sleep when they were dating. "Chandler?" Monica asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him from the concentrated trance he seemed to be in.
He slowly turned his head away from the ceiling, finally noticing that he was not alone in the room. "What do you want?" He asked, not in an angry or annoyed voice, but a calm and peaceful one, like he was talking to a child.
"Are you ok?" She asked, taking a seat on the side of his bed. He took a deep sigh and sat up, crossing his legs Indian style.
"Why do I always have to be ok? Why do people always ask, are you ok? Are you feeling ok? It's like a when a guy gets hit by a bus and the first thing his wife asks the doctor is 'Is he going to be ok?' or 'Is he going to be alright?'. Just because the guy is alive doesn't necessarily mean he is or is going to be ok." He stopped and gave Monica a meaningful look.
"I really don't know. I guess It's all a person can think to ask. They want you to be ok, not on the verge of death." She leaned back against the headboard and also crossed her legs, sitting a few feet behind him.
"I missed you so much Monica, I actually still think I do. I never should have left. I hate this life, it's too unpredictable. When I lived with Joey and had all of you guys to lean on, I was safe, protected...happy. Now I'm miserable, and the few friends I have don't do justice to you guys." He laid back down, his head resting in Monica's lap, but he still didn't look into her eyes.
"You can always come back you know. Sure things can't be the same, but we'd still have each other." She said, running her left hand over his hair.
"When Lynn, my assistant, was talking me out of committing suicide, she said something that really made me think."
"What was that?"
"Well, one of the reasons that she said not to do it was because I would be hurting so many other people around me. But it made me wonder, is their happiness worth more than mine? Do I really have to sacrifice my satisfaction with myself for someone else's? By staying alive I'm keeping them happy, but in return, trapping myself in an invisible hell from which I cannot escape." He finally looked up into her deep blue eyes, and the look that she gave him, told him that she actually did care about him. He sat up and scooted back against the headboard, sitting shoulder to shoulder with her. "Since I was 16, I've only been trying to accomplish one thing." He stopped, staring into her eyes.
"I'm guessing you haven't accomplished it yet."
"No. I've been trying to find the perfect girl." He smiled.
"What's your idea of the perfect girl?" She said, matching his smile.
"A girl that doesn't mind using one of her sick days just to get away from it all. A girl that just likes to drive around the city for hours, just for the heck of it. A girl that doesn't mind getting caught in a water fight with her friends and family. A girl that will borrow my car and return with an empty tank of gas and doesn't feel guilty about it. A girl that can't stay mad at a dog that just chewed up her entire apartment because he's just so dang cute. A girl that likes to sit around with the guys, drink beer, and play video games. A girl that cheers for my team when we go to a basketball game even though she doesn't like the sport. A girl that likes to sleep in on weekends instead of getting up at seven so she can make it to the Macy's sale right when it starts. A girl that doesn't always have to be the center of attention. A girl that doesn't mind silence every once and a while." He paused and looked at Monica. "A girl that has the greatest time in the world, just being herself, hanging out with the same friends that she's had for years.
Monica smiled at inched her way closer to Chandler. "I think I know a girl like that."
That was the last coherent sentence spoken before they found themselves locked in a passionate kiss, both never wanting it to end for fear of what the other would do.
T B C
))))))((((((
I'm SO sorry that this is so short, but that's what you get for only giving me 5 reviews. That and I don't have time to write more because I've gotta leave. I do have to say that four reviews is better than the usual one or two, but that's not enough! PLEASE REVIEW!!! The more reviews, the faster I will update!