Darkfire
By Adamant Eve
Part II – Gray Dawn
Raven had to shield her mind's eye from a blinding flare. There was a tug, and there was pain, but the pain ebbed and she breathed in relief.
"Raven?" It was a voice she knew, but it didn't belong. It wasn't supposed to be there and she felt an overwhelming sense of panic.
"No, Beast Boy!"
She recoiled and struggled to get away. His presence was invading the circle and she pushed him away forcefully, yelling at him to keep off. The cauldron in the corner of her room jumped and clanged, like it had been hit by a club.
Beast Boy's aura was surprisingly strong, or else hers was weakened considerably. It insisted on being accepted and it felt like jaws clamping down on her head. Pain flared inside her, but she couldn't let Beast Boy see it. If he did, he would only further insist on helping her, and the aura would just get in deeper.
Beast Boy, clueless about the turmoil he was causing, looked astonished and then slightly offended. "Well, no need to fall all over yourselfin your excitement to see me."
Raven recognized the sharp irony, of course. She knew she should apologize. In her former state, she would have, but she had lost all that when she used it to seal the Seed. The mellowed Raven they knew was now officially un-mellowed. It didn't help either that his presence was being invasive. He was not the best thing for her now.
Concentrating through the pain, she sought the remnant that was her fondness for Beast Boy and used it to the best of her humanity. "You have to stay out of the circle. See the line? It's for your own good, too. I'm decompressing. I don't need your unstable mind unbalancing me and you don't want me messing with your mind either."
Beast Boy blinked. "I had no idea I was unstable in the mind. You, on the other hand, are looking pretty crazy to me at the moment."
Raven frowned before she realized what Beast Boy was talking about. He was in her room, and he was staring at her while she sat inside a pentagram. There was a knife, a crystal ball, a chalice, firewood and dried leaves surrounding her. Of course he would think this abnormal; hehad no understanding of feminine mystique in the slightest. But her mind was weakened right now, and it was staying on a single track. She didn't have time to explain, especially if she wanted him to go away. "What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear that I want no one entering this room."
She knew she was being abrasive, but if it would cause him to leave, then it was what she was going to be. What was left of the Beast Boy inside her was very little, and she intended to rebuild the bindings on the basis of priority. She hadn't worked out the entire waiting list yet, but Starfire was definitely going to benumber one.
"Gee, you're more accommodating than usual." More irony. "Is it that time of the month already?"
She glared at him, her eye-sockets thrumming with suppressed pain. "Just answer the question."
He sighed, eyeing the set-up warily before he went on. "I tried to call you on your T-Comm but you wouldn't answer, and then when I tried knocking on your door I saw the flash. I just had to go in."
"You didn't have to." She massaged her temples, growing more annoyed with herself than with Beast Boy. He shouldn't be this hard to push back. She should have isolated her aura by now.
"Yes, I had to. And I gotta tell you, Raven, when I walked in, saw all this with you lying in the middle of it like you were dying—you freaked me out big time."
"I wasn't dying."
"Maybe you weren't, but you sure looked like it."
Raven gave a grunt. She took deep breaths and tried to center herself. Beast Boy's aura was persistent and she was in dire danger of using extreme measures to keep it away.
"Beast Boy, you're going to have to settle down if you want to stick around and help me."
Beast Boy stared at her questioningly and scratched behind his green ears.
"Your mind. You have to settle it down. There are faces and images from the past that push and shove to be recognized; faces and images you should've already laid to rest."
Beast Boy's aura flared, and Raven caught a glimpse of its core. It suddenly became clear why it was being so stubborn. It needed relief. It had found an avenue for it to find balance from another more composed, more controlled aura, so it was trying to get as much from her aura as possible. His aura; Beast Boy's soul; was in pain. His pain was bleeding on to her, which was why she was getting hurt. What he didn't know was that if he continued with this racket, she wouldn't be able to close the circle, and they were in dire danger of having their auras melded. While this might have been relatively harmless in ordinary human beings, Raven simply could not have a co-dependent aura clinging to her right now.
Not now, dammit!
She had no choice. She grabbed Beast Boy by the wrist, yanked him into the circle and clamped her hands over his temples.
"Wha—"
"Shut up," she hissed, closing her eyes. "Azarath…"
"R-Raven?"
"…metrion…"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"…zinthos!"
The entire room flashed with a black light, and Beast Boy's shriek was drowned out in the darkness that engulfed them.
Raven opened her eyes and found herself floating on a strange, elongated reed boat being maneuvered by a young boy who looked no older than ten. He seemed frail, though there was promise of developing muscles in his arms. The only clothing he had was a thick cluster of beaded ornaments draped over his neck and shoulders and a skirt-like wrap around his lower body. The garment was long, woven, and colorful. The earthen shades of brown, red, auburn and yellow were a contrast to this person's strangely fair skin. His hair was partially long, styled in an odd mess of clumps and ornamented by colorful, stone-like baubles. They looked like dyed animal bones. They probably were.
He turned to her, and she saw that his face was painted with strange symbols and runes, but she knew the person behind the mask, though his skin wasn't green.
"B-Beast Boy?"
He spoke in a language she didn't know, but she recognized his voice. It sounded young; innocent. It might have been Beast Boy, but not the one she was totally familiar with.
Raven looked to the bank of the river they were gliding through. She could see huts and animals prancing in the distance over the wide plain. There were trees, standing isolated in their respective places, and amidst the tall grasses, she could see cats skulking for prey. Birds overhead splashed into the water and caught fish, while crocodiles crawled out of the water and snapped at unsuspecting cranes.
The huts changed colors, disappeared and then sprung up again like mushrooms. Sometimes they emitted smoke from their chimneys; sometimes they coughed it out of their doors.
Africa. Or at least something that looked like it. She considered her boatman and decided to use another tact. "Garfield? Gar?"
Gar turned to her fully, giving her a strange look. "Raven."
She was glad he recognized her, not that she didn't expect it. But disorientation would have been natural. She wasn't supposed to be in his mind. The fact that she wasn't being chased away by the boy was encouraging.
"Do you know what I'm doing here?"
He didn't answer and she had to rethink her question. Of course he wouldn't know. He probably didn't know this part of his mind existed until now.
Gar raised a finger, pointing to the distant horizon. "That's very strange. How could it be light here and dark there?"
She looked and saw the shimmer of darkness, not quite casting its shadow. She knew her mind when she saw it. Presently it was stressed; in turmoil, but she couldn't afford to be too concerned about that now. She had other things to worry about.
Raven nodded, rising to her feet. "Can you take us ashore?"
Gar grinned. "Of course I can. I could do anything."
His bravado, if anything, was reassuring. This was, at least, a part of Beast Boy that might prove useful. Gar maneuvered with the pole. It glided like skin against silk, complete with a strange, whizzing sound. Raven was a bit surprised at the profundity of the images. She didn't think Beast Boy's mind was anything but typical. Perhaps she had expected that the structure of his mind would be a mall, or maybe a zoo. It never occurred to her that it would look like this.
She levitated out of the boat and set her feet down on the dusty bank. The ground was coarse, loose and somewhat dry beneath her feet. Gar stepped out after her. His feet were bare, though one ankle had a colorful band of beads around it.
Gar, at least a foot smaller than her, looked up at her with decided awe. "Do you have anything to do with that?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the eerie darkness in the distance.
"Yes," was all Raven said. She didn't feel like explaining to Gar what was happening. She wondered how she would approach the environment of Beast Boy's strange psyche.
"Gar, how many… people are living here?"
Gar scratched at his head. "Just me, and the animals…"
Raven arched an eyebrow. That did not sound promising. Of course, mental structures were different for everyone. The kind of entities present in one's mind had little to do with one's personality. A supremely complex mind could have a hundred entities, but so could a simple one. Sometimes, the most complicated mind had only one entity. There were no set rules for this; no telling what to expect. If Gar was the only one around, then it was going to be a long day.
"But beyond this plane there's the chief and the other one."
Raven was relieved. "Take me to this chief."
Gar grinned and took her hand, pulling her along with him towards a skulking lion. Raven hesitated.
The boy looked back at her and rolled his eyes. "Don't be afraid. Jahari won't hurt us."
Raven arched an eyebrow. Jahari?
The lion yawned and dropped to his side, rolling over and scratching his back against the grass.
Raven frowned. "What do we need Jahari for?"
"Jahari will take us to the chief. He lives far from here."
"Looks like Jahari doesn't feel like taking anybody anywhere."
The lion gave a lazy whine, licking his paw with leisurely strokes.
Gar spoke to the lion in his strange language again, sounding slightly admonishing. Jahari gave another whine but stood up, circling around Raven with a low purr before stopping in front of them, as if to offer his back.
Gar hopped on and patted the space behind him. Stifling a roll of her eyes, Raven had no choice but to give in. She wondered if such a lion could have fleas.
Raven also wondered how she was going to keep herself from falling off but little Gar took her hands and tucked them into Jahari's mane. It meant she had to scoot closer to Gar; cradle him so-to-speak. Gar looked up at her with an adoring smile before he happily settled himself against her embrace.
Raven grimaced. "So how do you drive this thing?"
Gar spoke what sounded like a single word in his strange language and the lion set off in a roaring run.
Raven clung for dear life. She didn't know if she was supposed to steer, but nothing she did seemed to avert the lion from whatever path it had chosen. It bounded across the plain with uncanny speed, passing several animals and huts along the way.
Gar laughed and made whooping sounds. He was obviously enjoying himself, bouncing on his seat while he pointed out several oddities they passed.
Raven was not paying attention to his little tour. She grit her teeth as she tried to keep them both seated, trying her best not to lose her temper, because if she did, it just might make the separation of their auras harder. She did, however, try to reason with him. "Gar, if you don't stop squirming, I will fall; and you'll fall, and I don't know what will happen if that happens." There was no telling what kind of things Beast Boy's mind was capable of.
"Okay, Raven."
He said it with such perfect, childlike trust that Raven began to suspect that she knew what aspect of Beast Boy this was. It should have been obvious, anyway, what with the child-form. It may have been somewhat a representation of Beast Boy's childhood, but it was more that that. This was the past of Beast Boy they didn't know about. It was the world he lived before he met the Titans and it probably kept the child in Beast Boy alive.
Jahari leapt, startling Raven out of her reverie and she was horrified to find that they were heading straight into a tree.
Raven summoned her powers, her fingers crackling. "Azara—"
She was cut short when Gar put his hand on her wrist. It was somewhat shocking, not because of the physical contact, but because of what the contact did. It dampened her powers.
How the hell--?
It took her another second to realize the simple truth: This was Beast Boy's world. She had some power, but only insofar as Beast Boy allowed.
He smiled up at her. "You don't have to do that."
And he said nothing more. Not exactly settling. The tree loomed and Raven shut her eyes to brace for impact. When several seconds later the collision still hadn't come, Raven cracked an eye open.
The plains were gone. Now Jahari was bounding through a jungle filled with gigantic, ancient trees, clinging vines and dewy brush. The light overhead could barely get past the canopy of leaves, but it was not a place of darkness. Gar told her to stay low because of the low hanging branches and Raven had to suppress her sigh of reluctance. Crouching down only made her press against Gar even more, and while she might consider the possibility that this representation of Beast Boy was too young to enjoy such close contact with a woman, she was also acknowledging the possibility that Gar knew more than he was letting on.
Moments later, they came upon a clearing. There was a hut sitting beside a pool of clear, running water.
Jahari came to a gradual stop and he opened his maw to half-yawn, half-roar.
Gar slid off Jahari's back and patted his mane. Raven dismounted, leaving the petting to Gar. She set her sights on the hut and pondered what she might expect. After what she had seen, she realized that she had no idea.
Young Gar hurried up the steps of the hut and disappeared through its opaque opening. Raven levitated and crossed the threshold.
She experienced vertigo and she had to momentarily close her eyes to steady her vision. She was therefore astonished to find herself seated in front of another representation of Beast Boy.
He was about the same age she was, which meant he looked slightly older than his real time self. His hair was dark brown and his skin wasn't the slightest bit green. He was tanned, and frail of build. He wore a wrap, similar to that of Gar, the ornaments the same, but he had on a tunic of deep orange and a woven wool cap. He didn't look pleased.
"Raven, you're not supposed to be here." He frowned, sitting still. His composure was most becoming.
Raven was mildly surprised by the coherence that marked his tone. It never occurred to her that Beast Boy could have such a serious representation. Of course, she had seen him serious, but only in the direst of situations.
She gave him a ponderous look before letting her eyes rove to the rest of the room. It still looked like a hut, except that there were rows and rows of shelves filled with books and scrolls, extending farther than the hut could've possibly looked from the outside.
She could read the markers on the foremost shelves. One said, "Animals: Prehistoric, Pre-modern, modern, underwater and land." Another said, "Fighting Techniques" while yet another said "Videogames and Music". There were more, but Raven was beginning to the get the general idea about this Chief.
It was seemed that this was Beast Boy's intellect, though for all these indicators, she still couldn't be sure about that. The mind was a tricky thing.
"Chief Logan is displeased." It was Gar. Raven hadn't even realized he was there, sitting right beside her.
She arched an eyebrow at the chief. "If there's anyone that should be displeased, it's me. Your aura is trying to mooch off mine."
Chief Logan turned away, bored. A scroll zipped into his hand from one of the back-shelves and he unrolled it, letting it flap to Raven's lap. Raven was overwhelmed with an image of questioning eyes and a distant voice saying, "Dude, I so don't know what you're talking about."
Blinking, Raven stared as the images and sounds faded. Chief Logan retracted the scroll and threw it back to the shelves. It turned a curve, like a heat seeking missile and disappeared.
"I have no explanation for that," said Chief Logan in mild disgust. "You, of all people, should know that such things as those don't fall in my scope of knowledge. We may eat a lot of tofu, but it doesn't mean we know anything about this New Age mumbo jumbo."
Raven tried her hardest to pretend that she didn't hear him say "New Age mumbo jumbo" to refer to her beliefs. "You must know something. Your aura knew enough to try and tap on my reserves. It wouldn't do. I don't need a co-dependent aura right now."
Chief Logan's frown deepened. He raised a hand and this time, a book plopped into it. The book's title was "Beast Boy Never Intends Harm, Though He Likes to Play Practical Jokes" Raven instantly knew where the conversation was going.
Her eyes narrowed to slits as Chief Logan tossed the book in front of her, but she pushed it aside with a wave of her hand. It glowed black, and moved only a fraction of what she had intended, but it was enough to convey her feelings on the matter. "Fine, I understand. But maybe you don't know that you're doing harm. You said so yourself; that you don't know much about manipulating auras. In ordinary circumstances, I probably wouldn't have minded. It's mostly harmless, like asking for a cup of sugar from your neighbor. But I can't have that kind of drain right now. I need as much of my aura as I can spare."
Chief Logan arched an eyebrow and the book jerked in response.
Raven wanted to Azarath-metrio-zinthos it to the next dimension, but of course, doing such a thing could be catastrophic.
Perhaps noting her frustration, Chief Logan took away the book with a wave of his own hand. "There have, however—"
Raven's eyebrow arched hopefully.
"—been instances where pure instinct acted in lieu of actual knowledge."
Raven sat still, giving it some more thought. Of course, that made perfect sense. Beast Boy may not have a conscious knowledge of auras and how to use them, but the need may have been so great that his subconscious mind may have found a way. She was gaining a deep respect for this aspect of Beast Boy, and probably later, it would dawn on her that this aspect was Beast Boy, just well-hidden beneath his foolish exterior. "Gar mentioned an 'other'."
Chief Logan gave Gar a displeased look, as if to tell Gar he ought to be ashamed of himself, but Gar stubbornly refused to be humbled. His chin lifted in clear defiance.
Raven didn't like those looks. "What?"
Gar scowled. "He's sick."
"Sick?"
Chief Logan cleared his throat, as if to caution Gar's words. "He's been acting very weird, for the most part. He locks himself in his hut and I have to summon him again and again before he answers my calls. He's hiding something. And there have been—indications that things are unstable."
"What is his—" Raven paused to seek the appropriate word. She settled for the best she could think of. "—function?"
Gar frowned. "He cloaks us. Keeps up hidden. He likes hiding things." He didn't sound very pleased by this "Other".
Chief Logan arched an eyebrow but raised a hand, as if to silence Gar. Gar's cheek twitched, but he said nothing. "Gar does not like him because this aspect he calls 'Other' mostly pretends that Gar is insignificant, therefore Gar does not… name him."
"But he has a name?"
Chief Logan look affronted. "Of course he does. His name is Titan."
Raven blinked in surprise, and then annoyance—at herself. She shouldn't be getting so surprised all the time. Sure, the dimension of the mind was unpredictable, but she should have expected as much. Just because Beast Boy seemed such a simpleton on the outside, it didn't mean his mind had no complexities. "Titan…"
Chief Logan nodded. "Yes. Before, his name was Other. It was when we were largely misplaced, when all this—" he swept his hand in the general direction of the shelves "—was a mess. Gar was keeping things in order—or rather, disorder."
Gar frowned. "Hey! It wasn't so bad!"
"At the beginning, you could handle it, but when Other came, you left him in charge because you wanted to just float around—"
Gar scoffed. "My time was coming to an end. I was semi-retired and I was only needed sometimes. Besides, it's not like I abandoned Other. We were great friends! I stuck around."
"Suffice it to say, neither of you were fit for the job. Good thing I came along and put you both to rights."
"You let Other do what he wanted and that included cloaking me; cloaking us."
Chief Logan scoffed, waving away his complaints. "I let Other do what he does best, even if he didn't know it yet at the time. He summons us when necessary, which is the way things ought to be."
Gar began to look even more defiant. "Easier for you to say! He needs you all the time! If he could erase me, he would have!"
Chief Logan rolled his eyes. "He couldn't and he probably wouldn't. Besides, it is not his problem to know when you come in handy. You have a job of your own, but you only show up when he's playing video games…"
"I'm a kid! What the heck do you expect?"
"Puleez. This kid is merely the form you chose to take. You don't seriously expect any of us to believe you are what you look, do you?"
"Feh! Leave me the hell alone!"
"We leave you alone; you think you're being cloaked. We expect you to step up and you throw tantrums."
Gar uttered more oaths.
Raven had to stifle a pissed-off sniff. So he was pretending to be innocent. Damn little lech. Pushing back visions of maiming him, Raven moved on to other things. "I would like to meet Titan. Is that possible?"
Chief Logan only took a moment to consider. "I suppose, but I must go with you, else he wouldn't talk to you."
Raven had no objections. "Lead the way."
Gar's scowl transformed into his chipped toothed grin. Raven didn't even notice the chipped tooth until now. It wouldn't surprise her to know that he made changes to his appearance in accordance to the situation.
"Can I come?" he asked.
"As if I had a choice in the matter," replied the Chief.
Gar laughed like a naughty six year old.
Chief Logan rose and gestured for Raven to walk through the door leading outside the hut. Hesitantly, Raven crossed the threshold. She did not feel the rush of vertigo again. She descended the stairs, looking around for Jahari. He was gone. She turned and saw Chief Logan raising his palm to the sky.
Raven was about to ask what he was doing when she heard a shriek from above. She looked and saw a pterodactyl swooping in from the sky. It landed gracefully on the clearing and Raven had to protect herself from the flying debris.
"Ndulu should be able to bring us to Titan quick enough," said Chief Logan, gliding down the steps, followed by Gar.
Just as hesitant about climbing Ndulu as she was getting on Jahari's back, she had to watch the two aspects mount first before she even considered getting on behind them.
Ndulu snapped his beak at her and she glared at it. Chief Logan admonished Ndulu and then urged Raven to ride. "He is just edgy. Like I said, you're not even supposed to be here and he's acting on instinct."
"I'm sure he is," muttered Raven, lifting herself behind Gar. She had to keep herself from smacking the grin off Gar's face.
Ndulu took off with a jump.
While Raven was not afraid of heights, she did have a problem with giving a beast absolute control. She had to keep reminding herself that Ndulu, like Jahari, was not actually an animal but aspects of Beast Boy as well that just happened to look like animals. Flying by herself was highly risky, considering she was in someone else's mind, so she supposed she had to suck in her concerns and go with the entire thing.
Ndulu swept through the clouds with great efficiency and Raven realized that she didn't have to hold on to anything. This particular pterodactyl seemed to be attuned to his passengers and moved with them. A few more minutes in flight, she was actually feeling comfortable.
The ease gave her time to observe where they were headed. They were heading straight for the horizon, where her mind and Beast Boy's met. She wondered what she would do if Ndulu flew into her world but wasn't really worried. In her world, she could control these entities without having to cause them harm.
As they neared the horizon's edge, Ndulu circled, lowering his altitude, and glancing down, Raven saw another hut sitting beside a running river, perhaps part of the same river she had first found herself in.
Standing at the very termination of the horizon on a boat, right where the river met with the darkness that was Raven, she saw a figure, a green one. He had the same wrap as Gar and the Chief did, but he wore less ornamentation, and instead of the marks just being on his face, it was all over his body. He was hammering away at something hard that stood at the barrier of Raven's mind and Beast Boy's.
She frowned. So it was him who was trying to mooch off her aura, and it didn't look like he was clueless about "mumbo jumbo". In fact, he seemed to know quite a few things. He had managed to attach her aura and his with makeshift holds, like large pikes pinning the edges together. He was only working on a small portion of their auras, but he certainly looked like he knew what he was doing. He was tethered to an anchor on shore and in his hand was something that looked like a sledge hammer.
This has to be Titan, thought Raven sullenly.
Ndulu gave a cry and Titan looked up at them. A heartbeat later, he was pulling himself ashore by the rope, and making good time of it. They hadn't descended far when he was hopping to shore and throwing off the rope tied loosely around him. Once unhampered, he made a run for his hut in obvious panic.
"He's going to hide!" said Raven, hoping Chief Logan would hear her.
The Chief spoke to Ndulu in the language Gar had used on Jahari earlier and the pterodactyl swept down with stomach turning speed.
Titan looked over his shoulder as he ran and cursed loudly. "Leave me alone! Go away! And take that intruder with you! You're all—like—trippin' and it's not funny!"
Raven took umbrage at being called an intruder. Beast Boy intruded first. She was merely here to make it stop. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos!"
A tendril of black power snaked around Titan's ankles and he yowled as he tumbled gracelessly to the ground. Chief Logan and Gar darted their gazes at her venomously and she felt her power being pushed back with a certain degree of force. She was miffed, but it didn't matter. It slowed Titan down long enough for Ndulu to catch up and land right in front of Titan's prone form.
"That was so un-cool!" yelled Titan. Out of the three aspects, this one looked and sounded the most like the Beast Boy she knew. "And you two just let her do that? Where's the love?"
"If we had known she would do that, we wouldn't have let it happen," said Chief Logan, sliding off Ndulu's back. He went to Titan and tried to help him up but Titan pulled away from the Chief, scowling at him. Titan scampered to his feet and backed away from them warily, trying to find an opening.
Raven dismounted and watched Titan with growing impatience. "Don't run. We don't want to hurt you."
All three aspects looked at her like she was an idiot and she frowned, realizing that even if she wanted to hurt any of them, she probably couldn't. She was the guest here, and the only reason they didn't kick her out was because Beast Boy himself trusted her enough to let her be there.
Titan pointed an accusing finger at her. "What are you doing here?"
"Look, Titan, you're the one who—"
There was a howl, and it came from behind them. It was a shout of pure agony, like someone was being tortured.
Titan lost his hostility and shot around them to continue his earlier escape. "You have to go now!"
Raven tensed to go after him but found herself restrained. She gritted her teeth when she saw Chief Logan's hand raised, as if to hold her. His attention, however, was not entirely on her. He was exchanging perplexed looks with Gar who was still seated on Ndulu's back.
"That was somewhat weird," said the Chief. "Did you know there was a fourth?"
Gar scowled. "Do I look like Titan's keeper?"
"You could be more concerned, you know."
"He just told us to go away!"
Raven clenched her fist. "Can you argue later? I would like to get my business done with so I could go."
Both aspects did not look pleased by the interruption, but they liked the idea that she would "go" the sooner she did what she had to do.
Chief Logan led the way to the hut, with Raven trailing close behind. Gar, catching up, took her hand. Raven slapped his hand away.
"Don't get fresh with me, little boy."
Gar scowled and stuck his tongue out at her. "You're always mean. It wouldn't hurt you to be nicer!"
Not exactly true. She ignored him and caught up with Chief Logan. At least he didn't waste time with nonsense.
They approached the hut and another wail of pain shot through the walls.
Frowning, Chief Logan rapped a fist on the wooden door angrily. "Let us in immediately!"
"Dude, I told you to go away!" cried Titan from within. "What part did you not understand with 'go' and 'away'?"
"Who is in there with you?" demanded Chief Logan.
"None of your business!"
Gar shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. "You see what I mean? He thinks he owns the joint! None of our business, he says! As if he could run this place without us!"
There was a clattering sound, like a struggle, and it was alarming enough to make Chief Logan say, "Raven, unbolt this door! Don't break it, just unbolt it."
Raven nodded. "Understood." She stepped up in front of it, concentrated and whispered her mantra. Ever so gently, she slid the bolt aside. As soon as she was done, she gave Chief Logan the honors. Chief Logan wasted no time. He pushed the door open and rushed in.
Against her better judgment, Raven grabbed Gar by the scruff of his ornaments and pulled him in with her. If something was going down—something dangerous, Beast Boy would need all the aspects he could get to aid him.
The vertigo was extreme this time, but she bit it back as she trudged forward. It was beginning to get overwhelming and she thought she was actually going to pass out, but the sensation eased away, and she was standing in a room, Gar protesting his indignity beside her.
The room was warm and strangely—
Comforting. As if I had just come from some really cold place and this room had its heater on.
It was a good place, and it was the Infoand Rec room of the Titan Tower. Well, something like it. There were variations, like an extremely comfortable looking easy chair positioned at the window platform. The kitchen was made of tofu and there were aquariums everywhere, not all of them containing fish. There were miniature monsters she recognized from the various horror flicks they'd watched inside the tanks, and they were oozing around in their little prisons. There was a couch too and a sign near it that said, "Dogs allowed." There were no doors to the sides and apart from the door they had walked through, the room was enclosed.
Titan's head popped out from beneath the platform and he looked angry. "I didn't tell you to come in here! Get out!"
The howl that echoed through the room was deafening and it came from within Titan's proximity.
Chief Logan rushed forward and Raven followed, pulling a reluctant Gar with him. She saw the shocked look on Chief Logan's face first before she looked for herself.
At Titan's feet sat a naked version of Beast Boy. He was curled up, like a fetus, and his most private parts were hidden from view, but Raven felt somewhat disconcerted. She had to look away. There was a garment nearby, and it looked like it had been tossed aside.
Gar, mouth agape, looked at it with mild horror. "Holy guano, Titan. What the heck is that?"
"I think he lost his clothes," muttered Raven, turning in the opposite direction.
Chief Logan was not pleased. "What is the meaning of this, Titan?"
"Hey, I tried to cover him!"
Chief Logan looked even more annoyed. "I don't mean the clothes! Who is this?"
There was another wounded cry, and taking a slight peek, Raven noted that it didn't look like the entity was physically being hurt. Whatever it was suffering, it seemed to be coming from within. The entity rocked back and forth, sobbing and raising a racket.
Titan looked at the naked entity angrily. "Shut up!" Snatching up the discarded garment, he threw it on the entity. The entity gave another caterwaul and tried to shove off the covering, but Titan wouldn't let him, speaking to him in the odd language Chief Logan and Gar had used earlier.
"Well?" asked Chief Logan.
Titan frowned, looking over his shoulder at them. "He doesn't have a name yet—it… it popped out of my head like a—"
"A zit?" supplemented Raven.
Titan shot her a glare. "It was more proactive than that. It jumped out and then just started to make all this racket! I couldn't get through to his senses at first. He just kept screaming and rocking and being a—" the entity began to make another loud fuss. Titan continued to speak in a much louder voice. "—a total nuisance!"
Gar huffed. "It's so typical that he'll keep this to himself!"
Titan stood up and pointed to the door. "You! Yeah, you, the puny pest! Get out!"
Gar was indignant. "I'm not going anywhere!"
Chief Logan clawed a hand on Gar's neck and quieted him. "What Gar is trying to say is… why did you not tell us about this?"
Titan's eyes widened, as if it was the stupidest question in the world. "How would you feel if a zit the size of California popped out of your head and started acting like an idiot? Especially you, Chief. You'd probably kill it and dispose of the body!"
Chief Logan gave pause. "You have a point."
Rave saw that the conversation was going nowhere. "You said you couldn't get through to him at first. Does this mean you were somehow able to have a coherent conversation with him?"
She saw the anger melting away from him and he sighed, looking wearily at the sobbing entity. "It can talk. When he gets that way—" he looked at the entity who was shaking and sobbing in his coverlet "—he'll start speaking a bit later, but then sometimes I feel it's worse that way, because you could ignore the senseless screaming with ear plugs, but words, even whispered ones, stick… you know?"
Raven took Titan by the shoulders, looking him in the eyes. "What does he say?"
Titan frowned. "You'll hear him in a while. He tells it best."
"When did—this happen?" asked the chief, watching the entity warily.
Titan's mouth twitched, as if he was disgusted that he had to explain that to the others. "When do you think? You must have felt something at the time. It sure as hell gave me a colossal headache and scared half the beasts off the area."
Chief Logan and Gar stared at him a moment before a glimmer of realization lit their expressions.
Raven glared at them. "What?"
"I hate her!" came a soft, pitiful voice from the corner. They all turned to look at the entity, rocking back and forth with tear stained cheeks. "How could she do that? How could she betray us? We loved her. I loved her. I miss her. Why did she choose death? Why did she choose Slade? Why did she choose to die for us? I hate her! How could she do that? Why? I couldn't help! I could do nothing! I hate myself!" He began to yowl again.
Raven looked at them all and saw the sadness settling on their faces. She knew who this "her" was. Terra.
She didn't completely understand what these aspects of Beast Boy represented, but each seemed to hold a broad scope of Beast Boy's mind. Gar might have been representative of his childhood, but from what she has heard, he was in charge of Beast Boy's propensity for playing videogames, or perhaps even telling jokes. He was the kid in Beast Boy that wouldn't go away. Chief Logan focused mainly on Beast Boy's intellect and reasoning; but he hadn't been there from the beginning, which could mean that this aspect didn't show up until he started to think logically, or maybe when he started to get educated. Strangely enough, this Other that eventually became Titan came before Chief Logan did. Chief Logan claimed that Other was unfit to keep things in order. Other had functions he was better at. What functions were those? Maybe it was the function he was named for now; a function that earned him the name Titan…
Life stages?
Raven thought it was possible, and with the emergence of this simpering, devastated entity, it only enforced that theory. Terra had been part of Titan, but when she did what she did: Betrayed them, went with Slade, fought Slade, died for them… perhaps it marked a different stage in Beast Boy's life that needed a life of its own.
"Have you tried to get him to stop doing that?" asked Raven.
Titan looked at her with mildly annoyed eyes. "I can't make him stop. It's his function. He has to stop by himself."
"But you've kept him here and you obviously don't know how to help him. You'll drive each other crazy."
"I was hoping he would tire himself out before anyone found out."
Raven was beginning to get a clearer picture of it. "In the meantime, you make jokes and you laugh like crazy."
Titan glared at her. "I didn't want anybody to know!"
"What'll we do now? What'll we do? What'll we do… I don't know what to do… what'll we do?" The entity muttered this over and over again, eyes ablaze with a trauma only he was seeing. The place shook, a rumble emanating from the crumpled figure on the floor.
Chief Logan and Gar looked horrified, but Titan didn't look surprised.
"He's been causing the quakes?" Gar asked in a disbelieving tone.
Raven watched the entity through narrow-eyed slits. "You can't let it keep going like this. You can't keep hiding it. See what it's doing? It's beginning to manifest something more destructive."
Titan looked exasperated. "And what will I do? Let it run free?"
"Maybe."
Titan made a sound of disgust, like she didn't understand at all. "He wasn't doing that before, you know; the earthquakes. So it only means it's gotten worse. And that last bit you just heard, that's new, too. It all started when Starfire took the hit."
It was not a good sign. This was suppression at its worse. Beast Boy didn't know how to suppress. He was doing it all wrong in the first place. Terra created this entity, but it would be things like Starfire in a coma that would feed power to this potentially explosive aspect.
Raven roughly grabbed Titan by his ornaments. "And so you decided you would dump this heap of angst into my aura. That's what you were doing on the river, weren't you? You were breaking through the barrier."
Titan and the others looked impossibly hurt.
Raven felt an invisible force uncurling her hand from Titan and she was pushed back gently.
Chief Logan sighed. "I tried to tell her that we never mean harm."
"It wasn't like that at all," said Titan. "I can't believe you would think that of me."
Raven fidgeted from her spot. The entity gave off a loud cry and sent another ripple of tremors through the hut, but her eyes wouldn't leave Titan's face. It was filled with pain and she almost began to regret her words, but she was here for a purpose, and she knew what she saw.
"I saw what you were doing! Why else would you lever my aura onto yours and then try to get through?"
Titan shook his head. "It's not like that. It may have looked that way, but you're wrong. I would never do anything to hurt anyone intentionally. You should know that."
"Then what were you doing in that river?"
"I was trying to help you."
Raven blinked and took a step back. He was helping her? "Excuse me?"
"I saw it in the horizon. Your aura and mine collided. Your world was in turmoil and the entity… it got away, and when it saw your aura, it tried to get some aura from you because it—needed the power of what little aura you had left. Your aura fought, of course, but I could see that when it got some of my aura, it settled some of your chaos. So I put the entity away and allowed you to harvest. The damage caused by the collision was considerable. I knew that if I didn't let you take from my aura, you'd be in serious trouble. But then you closed it. I don't know why, but you closed it, and that was bad. You needed help, so I tried to puncture a hole; so you could take as much as you need."
Raven stared at them all, stunned. She swallowed the knot that had formed in her throat. "You were… giving me your aura? But—But I thought you didn't know…"
"I told you; instinct in lieu of knowledge," said Chief Logan quietly.
"Yes, but then Titan should have pushed my aura away. The instinct to protect—"
"I did not say that the instinct was egocentric."
Raven frowned, confused.
Chief Logan was patient. "Our instincts encompass the need to preserve others, as well as ourselves. The instinct is not always to take, but to give, as much if not more. Titan, out of the three of us, has the strongest will to help. He was helping you."
Raven's eyes lowered. I didn't realize… Beast Boy, you idiot. I could've crippled your mind. I could've drained you so badly… She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, forcing back her climbing emotions. She looked up at them, steeling herself for what she was about to do. "I misjudged you. It was unfair of me. I'm sorry."
Their eyebrows arched.
She went on. "I'd just gone through an ordeal and I was… unstable. I apologize for jumping to conclusions and… thanks. Thanks for… trying to help. I feel like an absolute heel."
All three of them exchanged looks of surprise. After which, Chief Logan stepped forward. "We accept your apology and we will always try to help."
Raven nodded. "Now, I have to go. I have to seal my circle and you have to remove yourself from me while I'm doing that. Titan, you have to unplug the pikes."
Titan frowned. "But you need aura. You couldn't do it with what you have left."
"I'll manage."
"No. It was my fault in the first place. If you go now and something happens to you, the entity will thrive on the guilt and possibly bring down everything. Do you want us to go insane?"
She saw the grave expression on his face and then she looked at the simpering, pitiful form of the entity. Another quake rocked the hut, this time stronger than ever.
"Alright," she said, nodding. "Come with me; all of you; even the entity."
Chief Logan gave her a dubious stare. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Chief Logan and Titan took the entity by his arms. He resisted a bit but they dragged him out, Gar yelling at him to get a hold of himself. They stepped out of the house and Raven walked towards the edge of the horizon where Titan had spiked their auras together.
She turned to them. "You can't let me take all that I could. If I had free reign, I could kill you all, but if you hold back as hard as you can, I'd be able to moderate my consumption. As for this guy…" She placed a hand on the entity's forehead. The entity squirmed and whimpered, but it didn't create a big fuss. "Titan, I'm going to make up for my unfair conclusions. I'm going to take away some of the pain."
Titan's eyes widened. "What? No! It'll weaken you!"
"It might, but I could process your emotions better than you can and—and in time, it will eventually form a bond; a small one; a painful one; but if it helps you, I'll take it, and this guy just might stop causing quakes."
Titan said something in their language. The chief and Gar responded accordingly. Finally, Titan nodded. "Alright. We'll let you."
"Good. And one more thing, Titan. There's no getting rid of this thing, you know. Terra made a big impression on you; it's why this entity is here. He could help you come to terms with what happened, and actually make you a better person, help you deal with such things as Starfire going into a coma, but you have to help yourself and the entity first. Don't push Gar away. Don't try to do his job for him. Let him do his job, and you could do yours. It's a great thing to be a Titan, but we have to be ourselves first."
Titan stared at her, and then at Gar. Gar stuck his tongue out. Titan scowled and sighed. "Fine, but it's not going to be easy letting this squirt have his way."
Raven cracked a tiny, almost indiscernible smile. "You'll be surprised. Now, let's see what we have here." She closed her eyes and tried to see the entity's true form.
Alright, you puddle of emotion; try to work with me here.
The connection was instantaneous. Maybe it knew that Raven was there to help, so it let her see immediately. It didn't take Raven long; she knew what pain she was going to take away.
Raven curled her fingers around Inadequacy, Helplessness and Guilt. With surgical precision, she yanked, balled as much of it she could get into her fist and put it into a mental satchel.
She opened her eyes and pulled her hand away from the entity. It looked tired, and it was a sure sign that he wasn't going to cause any more trouble for the meantime.
Raven didn't wave goodbye to the entities. That would've been silly. She would be seeing Beast Boy when she got out of this, and while he wouldn't exactly remember that she had been in his mind and interacted with him the way she did, he'd be aware that they'd helped each other in some way. Besides, she wasn't exactly through with him, just yet.
She went to the boat Titan was on earlier and instead of looping the tether around herself like Titan did, she tied it on the boat's prow. She got on the boat and pushed off. The flow of the water was being blocked by her barrier. It was an excellent representation of Beast Boy's aura and she was glad it was visible.
Concentrating, she spoke her mantra and punched a hole through her barrier. The river burst through the mental dam. The boat held, but she jumped right back into her mind, concentrating on keeping the flow minimal. She could feel the aspects of Beast Boy holding back just enough, keeping the exchange controlled.
Raven saw that her aura was improving. The black that was matted began to regain a certain glow and the turmoil was settling. It was gaining the strength she needed to stabilize her.
When she had gathered enough, she pushed Beast Boy's aura back, stopping the flow completely. Gradually, she pulled away just slow enough for the aspects to make a clean break.
She felt the separation. Easy and painless.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Raven took the satchel containing Beast Boy's pain. She opened the satchel and let the emotions out. It throbbed and Raven immediately felt that it wanted to infuse itself into her mind, but it was in her world now. It wasn't going to affect her that badly.
She reached out and manipulated it, muting it so that she didn't have to feel it all at once. It would still become part of her. She would feel inadequate; helpless and guilty, but not in unmanageable doses. Her experiences of these feelings would be gradual, in little amounts. She could control it, and she wouldn't suffer anywhere near as badly as Beast Boy had been suffering. All would be well for her, and Beast Boy wasn't going to suffer any breakdowns.
With Beast Boy's emotions processed, she gathered the aura she had gained and used it to float back into consciousness, closing the circle behind her as she left.
She knew that when she woke, she and Beast Boy were going to have a nice, significant talk.