Author's Note: Meril is based on a composite of Tolkien's fits and starts concerning Gil-galad's parentage - the name comes from that of Finrod's wife when Gil-galad was briefly the Finrod's son. Her background comes from Tolkien's description of her as Orodreth's wife and Gil-galad's mother. [1]
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Tolkien. Translations of Elvish (Sindarin, unless otherwise stated) and additional notes follow the chapter.
Contact: erunyauve at lycos dot com (replace 'at' and 'dot' in the obvious places)
Oh my heart be strong
And guide when eyes grow dim
When ears grow deaf with empty words
When I know there's life within [2]
The air in the drawing room was stale, as if the walls of Nargothrond held their breath with the elves. Finduilas dared not speak, for her father had asked her to be brave and she was not brave. She feared that if she opened her mouth she would never stop the torrent of fears. Túrin would return; of this, she was certain. No foe could strike him down while he wore his Dragon-helm. Yet, her heart whispered of great evils to come.
A journal of the building of Nargothrond lay open in Celebrimbor's hands, but the elf-maid knew he stared at it unseeing, for the pages remained unturned. Her mother stood near the doorway, her hands folded behind her back, her face composed. Only one near to her would know of her distress, betrayed by her very stillness, for Meril was a lady of great energy and little patience.
Finduilas threw down her work. "I cannot sit here and do aught but wait."
"What else can we do?"
"Perhaps tidings have come from the battle."
"Then I shall be the first to hear them, Finduilas."
She shook her head - she could not sit quietly as if waiting for a servant to announce the evening meal! "At the least, I might bring heart to the guard."
Meril stood aside and let her daughter pass; Finduilas was as stubborn as her father and equally unsuited to times of war. Only in her impatience did she resemble her mother.
The lady did not share the confidence Finduilas and Orodreth had placed in Túrin. Both father and daughter fell too easily into the trap of the bold and confident, with pretty promises of great victories. Meril had lived among the Noldor for the greater part of her life, yet their penchant for rushing into doom still bewildered her.
She supposed that she had made an equally poor choice, but love between Elves had neither reason nor wisdom. If she had a weakness, it was for the golden elf to whom she had bound herself and her fate.
Ragged breathing broke the silence of the corridor. In her mind, Meril hurried the steps of the approaching messenger. If ill tidings must come, she would not delay them. She could not tolerate this wait.
"You bring word from my husband, I trust?"
The messenger looked near to hysteria or collapse. "A greater army than we knew awaited us - our host is forced toward Tumhalad. The King orders the bridge struck down." [3]
"You have no more to tell me?" Meril asked sharply.
"He sends this to you."
Meril unwrapped the bundle. Against the bloodstained handkerchief, the emeralds looked dull, the serpents and golden flower lustreless. She blinked away tears. "Find Guilin and tell him that the bridge is to be broken as best as his guard can manage. Make haste!" [4]
Celebrimbor caught her eye questioningly. "If this is done, Orodreth shall have no refuge should he manage a retreat."
She lowered her head. "I must trust that if he thought a retreat possible, he would not have ordered it so." She set her jaw; grief must wait. She had a city to defend. "The passages of the Noegyth Nibin - what do you know of them?"
"Too little, brennillen. I know how to reach them, but I would be a poor guide." [5]
"I fear all chances are fraught with peril." She paused to still the tremble that threatened to overtake her voice. "Gather those you can find and lead them thither."
"What of Finduilas?"
A great thud shook the ground above them and screams echoed in the hollow corridors.
"We have no time left to us." She put the handkerchief with its precious contents into his hand. "Should you reach Balar, see that this comes to my son."
"You do not go with me?"
"I cannot."
"Your husband would want you to take heed for your safety."
"My husband would not fly while his people remained in peril, and in his place, neither shall I."
When Celebrimbor had gone, she took up a sword from its honoured place over the mantle. Once, it had belonged to Finrod, and now, she hoped it would bring her a measure of his courage.
In the depths of Nargothrond, her life would end very suddenly. As her daughter stumbled forward in a string of captives under an orc's lash, Meril slid without a cry to the stone floor, her blood trailing on the wall in grotesque graffiti, the single testament to her life.
For no minstrel would sing of her fall. The Lady of Nargothrond would pass unremarked; the loremasters would not even record her name. But one would return from Tumhalad, and he would soon enough meet his fate, and none would remain to remember those who wait.
May the spirit never die
Though a troubled heart feels pain
When this long winter is over
It will blossom once again
[1] the parentage of Gil-galad
(The War of the Jewels, 'The Later Quenta Silmarillion' p 242 pub Houghton Mifflin; The Peoples of Middle-earth, 'The Shibboleth of Fëanor' pp 350-351 pub Houghton Mifflin)
[2] Oh my heart be strong...
Lyrics: 'Breaking the Silence' by Loreena McKennitt. The song was written in honour of Amnesty International, but parts of it adapt well to the plight of the Elves near the end of the First Age.
[3] 'A greater army than we knew awaited us - our host is forced toward Tumhalad.'
Only Túrin survived the Battle of Tumhalad. This messenger is a fabrication - I'm assuming he would have left Orodreth before the elves were trapped but after Orodreth saw the extent of the Orc host.
[4] the emeralds looked dull, the serpents and golden flower lustreless
Since this was the symbol of Finarfin's House, I've imagined that Orodreth might have had a ring similar to Finrod's. (The Silmarillion, 'Of Beren and Lúthien' p 196 pub Ballantine/Del Rey)
[5] brennillen
my lady. (Constructed from brennil, 'lady' and -n, possessive singular suffix. The l doubles according to Sindarin orthography and the e is inserted as a helping vowel, as attested by guren.)