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Far Behind

Chapter 5: Who Am I?

Dustin stood in front of the mirror the next day, starring at the clean black suite he was wearing. He had a black jacket over a white button dress shirt and topped it off with a black tie. He had long black pants on and dark-brown dress shoes. The kinds that were uncomfortable and make your feet sore. The funeral was in a few hours, and he was in no mood to go. He knew he had no choice though, half his family was going to be there and he didn't want to let him down. He adjusted his tie and started to comb his hair neatly. Running the comb through his soft curly hair, he flattened it down. For once in his life, it actually looked nice. He still felt tired, the lack of sleep he had been getting was depriving him from thinking clearly. The heroine wasn't exactly helping either, though Dustin believed it did. The up boost of the drug made him feel good about himself, but after it wore off, he was burnt out and depressed even more. It was a hard battle, a battle he didn't want to think about nor care. He heard the knock on the door and turned to stare at the wooden object that stood between him and his roommate.

"You almost done in there?" Shane's voice echoed.

Dustin pulled out a needle from his pocket, feeling the sharp, thin tip, "Almost." He responded.

He placed the needle on the bathroom sink and pulled out a few rubber bands. He wrapped it around his upper arm, slowing down the flow of the blood. His veins begin to stick out and he grabbed the needle and inserted. After a few seconds, he pulled it out and tossed the needle in the garbage. He looked at his arm, there were so many small puncture holes all around. It looked like he had chicken pox or something. All he knew was, people would notice the marks on his arms if he gave them a chance. Not something he was planning on doing, so he rolled the sleeves back down and adjusted his jacket. He took a deep breath, as he felt the drug taking effect. The good sensation that he has enjoyed and become addicted too. He giggled a bit, shaking his head, and looking at himself in the mirror for once last time. He opened the door and noticed Shane standing there all dressed up. Dustin closed the bathroom door and smiled at him.

"What were you doing in there?" He asked.

The brunette tried not to burst into laughing mode, "Um, yeah. Nothing. Just getting ready ya know?" He said in his most mellowed tone.

"Right. The others are waiting downstairs. Were taking Tori's van." He informed him.

Dustin gave him the thumbs up and followed him out of the room. He felt the temperature in his body rise, and his head begin to sweat. The usual sauna feeling started to kick in, and his eyes began to glaze over. He walked down the steps and met the others, they too were in formal clothing. Dustin could recall the reaction on their faces when they yelled at him for not informing them of his father's death. Maybe that's why everyone had been acting nicer to him, and he hated that. It got on his nerves quickly, because they probably though that everything will be all right in the world as soon as the funeral is over. But the thing is, it wasn't going to be. It was just the start of more complicated matters. The brunette could tell, as he felt his own mind ready to snap. He pushed all the problems to the back of his mind, storing them in a little box to release later. The others all smiled and looked at him.

"You ready Dustin?" Tori asked as she pulled out her keys.

Dustin blinked for a few seconds, "More then ever. Let's get this over with."

Everyone climbed in and Tori began to drive towards her destination. All but Dustin was chatting about random things. The once happy brunette didn't feel like talking. He just wanted to enjoy the mellow feeling he was experiencing while watching the scenery. The trees and the bushes all zipped past his eyes in one big blur. An hour had past and Tori had finally arrived to the church. Dustin starred at the small white building as she pulled into the parking lot. The church looked rather old but it seamed to have that kind of goodness feeling to it. The yellow ranger took a step out of the van and walked a bit, looking at his surroundings. The smell of the tulips and other flower variety's caught his nose. He walked past the rows of cars and inside the church. The nice smell of flowers was replaced by the musty funky smell of the old church structure. People were everywhere, standing around and talking. The casket was portioned towards the side and on a table. White roses were surrounding it, as pictures of him and other family members were all around it. The whole environment felt so depressing to Dustin. Everyone talking about how great his father was, wearing dark and bland clothing. He took a step forward and made his way through the crowed. His friends had split away and gone to talk to some of his relatives, which he didn't care. To be honest to him, he wished they weren't here. A young slender woman came up and tapped Dustin on the shoulder. He spun around and looked at her, her brown wavy hair went down to her shoulder. It was his mother.

"Waldo. I'm glad you make it." She smiled.

Dustin rolled his eyes, "This isn't something to be glad about."

"I know." She whispered, "I'm sorry. You look tired sweetie."

"I been hearing that a lot."

She forced a smile and put her hands on his cheek. She felt his cold skin embrace her own warm one. Her smile faded away a bit as Dustin starred at her.

"You're so cold. Are you sick?" She asked with concern

He moved away from her hands and sighed, "No. It's what happens when the drugs start wearing off."

"What?"

Dustin forced a laugh, "I'm kidding."

"How is college going? Keeping your grades up I presume?"

The tired brunette groaned as she started to nag about education again. He knew that coming here was the worst mistake he could have done. All he wanted to do was get baked and sit around and relax. But no, he has to deal with people. With the world's problem and he didn't want to. The little string that kept him sane was stretching to the point where it was going to snap. Feeling his body about to break down. Like butter scrapped to thin on bread. Or a machine without oil.

"Mom. Please don't start." He begged.

She got into her motherly tone and looked at him, "I paid a lot of money. I can't have you get kicked out."

"Does Dad's death mean anything to you?" He changed the topic.

She nodded, "Of course it does."

"Then why do you have to bring college up now? Stop thinking about my well being because you obviously don't understand it!" He grew angry.

"Don't raise your voice Dustin." She scolded him.

"I'm not raising my voice!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

The crowed stopped, feeling the tension in the room as they looked at him and his mother feuding. Dustin spun around and looked at everyone in the eyes. He saw his friends give such distraught looks towards him.

"What the hell are you all looking at?" He sneered.

"Waldo! Don't speak like that. Your being rude!" His mother spun him around.

Dustin just laughed, giving her an annoyed look, "What do you know? Seriously mom. You obviously don't understand." His voice began roar as he looked at everyone, "No one does. Screw you all!" He stormed outside.

Tori ran her hands through her hair and handed Hunter her drink, "I'm going to talk to him."

"You want me to come?" He asked.

She shook her head, "I'll take care of it."

Tori quickly exited the building after Dustin. She took a step outside and felt the warm air against her skin. She looked and saw Dustin sitting on the curb, by a bush. She made her way over to him and sat down next to him. His head was buried in his arms, blocking his face from her. She could hear the faint sound of sniffling as she placed her hands on his back. He looked up and wiped his eyes as he witness Tori's beautiful smile.

"Do you wanna talk?" She asked.

"No." He breathed deeply, "I'm just tired. I want to go to bed." He whispered.

"Dustin. Why wont you let me in? I miss the old Dustin. You barley say dude or sweet anymore. Say something funny. What's happen to you?"

He turned to her, "You assume that I'm always the carefree teenager. I hate the fact that I have to work so hard to be a freaking idiot because no one thinks its normal for me being serious."

"That's not what I mean."

"That's exactly what you mean. I spend my whole High School life forcing a smile on my face. Letting things roll off my back when something bad happens. I can't do it anymore. My face hurts from the smile. I hate how everyone assumes, and that no one knows me. That's the problem. My mom obsessing over my stupid education, saying it cost a lot. And then my father dies, the only one who I thought, could understand me at my level. Im at the point where I am going to snap."

"Dustin.." She tried to interrupt him.

"I'm tired and I want to go home. At this point, a fucking bus can come and hit me and I wouldn't care."

"Calm down."

Dustin grabbed Tori's arm and looked right in her baby blue eyes. The blonde was startled, as she looked back at his eyes. The pain and fear in them scared her, but she didn't want him to do anything drastic so she endured the pain.

"Look at me Tori. I'm a ghost. I'm a wreck. The only thing that makes me feels good, is going to eventually kill me." He was on the verge of tears.

He let go and stood up and wiped them away. She looked up at him, as she rubbed her arm to ease the pain.

"I miss the ranger days where life was so easy. I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. I just give up." He turned and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" She brought up the courage to ask.

"Back to the dorm." He responded and ninja streaked away.

Night had finally fallen on the city and the rangers had arrived back onto the college campus. Even though Dustin didn't stick around, the others stayed and payed their respects at the funeral. Tori felt as if leaving Dustin alone was the best thing to do. To let him think, to let him sort everything out. She explained to them, their interesting conversation she had and everyone grew more and more worried. They all gathered around the campus parking lot, getting ready to depart. The silver moon's glow emulated the night as the animals of darkness awake to explore the world. Shane sighed, looking at everyone.

"Well, been one interesting day. Guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Hunter snapped his fingers, "Oh, I need that book you were telling me about during the car ride." He reminded him.

"All right, come on. We can go get it now."

"Night guys." Tori spoke.

Cam put his arms around Tori and forced a small smile, "Will you be all right?"

She nodded, "I'll be fine."

"See ya." Blake spoke up.

Everyone departed from the parking lot to their respected places. Hunter and Shane quickly walked towards Shane's dorm building and entered inside. The warm air was a nice change from the cool outside one. They walked up the steps and down the hall towards the dorm room. Shane turned the nob and noticed the wooden door was lock. Keeping him from entering. The former red ranger pulled out his key and unlocked the door. He entered the dark room and flicked the lights on. His eyes widen at what he saw in front of him. The whole dorm room was trashed. It was even messier then ususal. A lamp had fallen over and shattered, sheets were all over the floor. Magazines were ripped to shreds and the whole place looked like a twister ripped through it.

"What the hell happened?" Shane roared.

Hunter stepped inside and looked all around, "Did you get robbed?"

"The door was lock. No one could get in. Goddamn it, Dustin." Shane grew irritated

Hunter searched the room, through the mess for any clues. He refused to believe that Dustin would do this to his own room. He bent down and lifted up all the shredded motocross magazines. Shane sighed and picked up some of his stuff and threw it on his bed. He slowly walked over to his dresser and noticed some of the drawers were opened. He opened the top one and began frantically searching around. Hunter stood back up and turned to watch him. Curious of what he was doing.

"Something the matter?"

"I had a stash of money in here." Shane responded, "It's gone. He fucking took it."

A huge crash came from the bathroom, startling the two of them. Shane closed the dresser drawer and jumped over the crap that was on the floor. He made his way towards the bathroom and opened the door quickly. Turning on the light, he found Dustin laying on the floor passed out.

"Hunter!" Shane screamed for him.

Hunter quickly ran over and looked over his friend's shoulder. The two of them quickly dashed over to Dustin and bent down. Shane turned him over and lifted his head up.

"Dustin. Wake up. Dustin. Dustin, please." His best friend shouted in his ear.

Shane shook him a little and slapped him in the face a bit. Nothing was working, he wouldn't wake up. Hunter looked around the bathroom. The whole place was a mess. Pain killers were all sprawled out all over the floor. The crimson blonde continued to search, and found 4 or 5 used needles. Dustin must had over dosed himself on not only pain killers, but heroine as well.

"Hunter. Call the Hospital. Call 911!!." He whispered, "Call someone!" He finally shouted.

Hunter nodded and dashed out of the bathroom. Shane held his friend, trying to wake him up. Dustin's face was cold, his body was lifeless. The skateboarder mumbled to himself, as he kept on trying to wake up.

"Please don't. Come on Dustin. Don't do this."

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