Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. What would I do without J.K. Rowling, who so graciously lets me play with her world of extraordinary characters? I probably wouldn't be writing this story. So hurrah for J.K. Rowling—without her, we'd all be much sadder fanfic fanatics.
Author's Note: As usual, thank you all very much for your comments and reviews. I'm plugging along, and when I'm not working on this I've been quilting together some pieces for the next story. Anyway, this chapter is riddled with tension and danger… just the way I like it. And for all you Ani/Sirius shippers out there… let's just say I hope I haven't let you down. In other news, I've been sitting here pondering HP6, entitled (as I stated in last chapter) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I got to wondering if the prince in question might be none other than one of the Hogwarts professors. My money goes out to either Snape or Dumbledore, as Rowling has already stated that it's neither Harry nor Voldemort. Just a little food-for-thought for you. And now, onward…
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"No."
Sirius felt himself flare as he shot his eyes across the room. The room had been a tomb while he'd quietly and painstakingly detailed the plan that had flowed unbidden into his head. No one had dared interrupt: they had sat silently, faces impassive and stony, measuring and weighing every word. When his voice had finally quieted, still no one spoke. He couldn't read most of their expressions—Dearborn had buried his face in his hands and Dumbledore's keen eyes had drifted closed—but that mattered little. Sirius kept his attention focused on two sets of eyes: one flashing gold and one ghostly blue. He knew, instinctively, that it was their reactions that would tell him the most.
Aeryn Solmere had nodded, slowly and speculatively. She glanced at the headmaster, and lifted one brow, clearly saying, "The plan has merit, and we have no others." That had given him a surge of hope—if this strange, strong woman could find value in his plan, maybe it would work.
And if it works, maybe Ani will come out of this safe, Sirius thought, his heart lightened with optimism.
The lack of other responses weakened the meager hope inside of him, and it was with little patience and even less grace that Sirius glared at Remus, the only person who had vocally—and vehemently—objected. It was one of his better glares, he thought, for even James flinched slightly as he caught sight of it…that was saying something. But Remus glared right back at him, eyes like pools of acid and every line in his face screaming anger.
A dangerous and hauntingly familiar tone had crept into his voice as Sirius asked slowly, "And why not, Remus?"
Remus was ablaze, and if his own resentment hadn't been clawing its way to the surface, Sirius might have been somewhat nervous at the werewolf's rare display of temper. Remus shifted tensely in his seat, as though his disapproval for Sirius' plan prevented him from sitting still.
"Considering that we don't even know if this plan will work," he began, his voice tense, "I just think that there's a little too much risk involved, Sirius."
"I never claimed that there wasn't any risk," Sirius countered angrily. "This is a dangerous situation in general, Remus; none of us can claim that we could rescue Ani's father without risk. But no one else—" He gave Remus a pointed look "—has made any suggestions. If you think it's so damn dangerous, think of another way."
"Someone else can be led to Mr. Hellsing," Remus immediately responded. "Someone older, someone who can defend himself. Sending Ani in there alone is like throwing a lamb to the wolves. We can't do it."
"Just because you're too scared to do it doesn't mean that Ani is," Sirius shot, unable to keep the taunt out of his words.
By this point, James had gotten to his feet between them and had actually put out a hand as though to keep the two apart. With a remarkably werewolf-like snarl, Remus surged to his feet and forcibly pushed James back into his chair. "How can you be so reckless?" he shouted at Sirius, his reserve snapped. "This whole plan is insane! You would risk Ani's life just to see your stupid scheme come to life!"
"And you would keep her in the dark when she's desperate to help her father!" Sirius roared back, rising as well, ready for a fight. "She's got a mind of her own! She can make her own damn decisions, and she wants to rescue her father!"
Remus surged forward, and if Dumbledore hadn't pushed to his feet, Sirius had no doubt that he'd have gone down in an instant with Remus' hands at his throat. The headmaster's eyes penetrated the two of them so deeply that it was like a valve, releasing the tension. Sirius and, a moment later, Remus sank back into their chairs.
"We cannot afford this kind of nonsense," Dumbledore ordered sharply, and any pretense that they were adults and equals in this conversation evaporated. With Dumbledore's chastisement they had turned back into children, and Sirius sensed for the first time the helplessness that Dumbledore must have felt, knowing that the safety of one of his Order lay in the hands of a mere girl and her friends. "While you two squabble there is a real enemy out there, and a real man in danger. You cannot afford this kind of behavior when there are lives at risk."
Like a slap to the face Sirius remembered Dumbledore's end-of-the-term speech. He looked right at us, he remembered now. How on earth could he have known? The look on Remus' face showed his realization as well.
Seeing that he'd reached them, Dumbledore spoke again with less thunder in his tone. "Arguing over who has come up with the better plan is a waste of your valuable energies," he reminded them. "Already, thanks to you, we have more of a plan than we have been able to make since Cephas disappeared. Focus yourselves on the task at hand. You are on the same side."
"Yes, sir," Sirius and Remus replied in one low voice, and Sirius felt his anger wash away.
"Professor."
A new voice, Lily's, broke the silence. Sirius' sideways glance showed Lily to be depleted with worry, the fight but not the fear having left her body. Dumbledore looked at her and his eyes softened. "Yes, Miss Evans?" he asked.
"Isn't there any other way?" she questioned, her voice dull with worry. "Remus is right—it's so dangerous." Lily glanced at Ani apologetically and said, "Ani's my best friend, sir, and I can't stand to think of anything happening to her."
"Lily," Aeryn Solmere began, her voice gentle as a mother's. "No one doubts your concern for Ani's well-being. Nor yours, Remus," she added, inclining her head towards him graciously. "Such concerns must be considered carefully, and I would not have you think that because we are considering Sirius' plan that we do not value your concern. Remus, you think that because the plan involves risk that Sirius disregards Ani's well-being… it is your worry that keeps you from seeing that his plan is designed to keep her as safe as possible." Her keen eyes swiftly moved to Sirius. "Else why would he have a part for all of you involved? What better way to protect someone than to help her in her greatest hour of need?"
They were all quiet again for a moment, and Sirius felt the weight of the decision press into his shoulders. Whatever happens, he vowed, Ani can't do this by herself. She needs our help.
Finally James, looking tired, spoke up. He'd been quiet for most of the arguments, his eyes sharp on each of the individual faces. His voice was low and solemn as he said to the group, "I think this plan is the best we have… but I also think we need to let Ani decide what we should do." He glanced at Sirius and added, "It's her father who's in danger, and if we follow through with this, she'll be the one at the most risk. In the end, I think it ought to be her decision."
Sirius felt instantly and embarrassingly mollified as he realized that none of them—not even he—had bothered to ask Ani what she thought. She must have been furious. It would piss me right the hell off, he admitted inwardly. But when he looked abashedly over at Ani, there was no trace of anger on her face.
Something stirred in his chest. With her mouth soft and her eyes deep in thought, her curly hair spilling down her back and half obscuring her face, and her hands folded as though in prayer under her chin, she looked… she looked… She looks beautiful, Sirius thought, and as he thought of the danger she might soon be in, nausea coursed through him.
She sensed his eyes on her and looked up. A determination that reminded him of James flickered in her eyes. She gifted him with a small half-smile and when she spoke, her voice was calm.
"I want to do it." She looked up at Dumbledore and Aeryn Solmere and nodded firmly. "I do." She turned to Remus and said, her voice unspeakably gentle, "There's no other way, Remus."
"You know best," Remus said through clenched teeth, with an effort that must have been monumental. He burst out, as an afterthought, "But if you're going to do it, I'm going to come with you!" He looked around the room fiercely, ending with Sirius, defying him to disagree.
"Yes," Ani agreed. "I want you all with me." She set her shoulders and gave one last, affirmative nod as she turned back to their headmaster. Dumbledore looked as ancient as the earth. Sirius pitied him. "Just tell me when."
---
Ani felt like half of her was being ripped away as she watched Remus, his back full of smoldering anger, walk down the street back towards Diagon Alley. His anger and hurt made her ache horribly, so much so that she thought she might collapse.
Her friend had been notably quiet throughout the rest of the meeting, and she kept glancing at him nervously, expecting him to burst out again. To his credit, however, Remus stayed composed, his jaw set and his lips sealed, until Dearborn had escorted them out of the flat with the admonition that they were not to be out alone as it got late. But the moment they were outside, he'd given them a stiff farewell and spun on his heel to stalk down the street.
Ani, tired to the very marrow of her bones, had poised to run after him. If today were to be the last time she would see him before their plan unfolded, she couldn't bear for him to leave in anger. Remus had started out this summer as a mere acquaintance and had bloomed into a wonderful friend, and Ani could not bear to see him this way. At the last minute before she could rush after him, Lily had put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should let me go after him, love," she said softly.
It was her impulse to refuse—it was not Ani Hellsing's way to ignore a friend who was obviously troubled—but as Ani looked at Lily, she felt the air rush out of her lungs and agreed sadly, "Maybe you should."
Lily nodded and headed off down the street. James and Sirius exchanged a mutual look that sent James trotting off after Lily. Sirius shifted and stood by Ani's side and together they watched as the three figures met and disappeared down the road.
"He's scared for you," Sirius said. It pleased Ani for some inexplicable reason to know that even though Remus had disapproved of his idea, Sirius was trying to explain his actions to her.
"I know he is," she replied softly, "and I appreciate it." She sighed. "I guess I'd better head back."
Sirius nodded. "I'll walk you."
They started to walk down the street in the direction of St. Mungo's. He put his hand under her elbow as they hurried across a busy street, and let it linger there after they'd made it safely across. The warmth of him spread all through Ani's body. Sirius is another friend I was fortunate to make, she thought to herself as they walked along silently. I can't bear to think what I'd have done if he and James and Lily and Remus and Peter hadn't been there for me. And if this plan works, I'll owe them all more than I can say.
Filled with these bittersweet thoughts, Ani impulsively pulled back and then slipped her hand inside of Sirius'. He hesitated for a moment, then relaxed and laced his fingers tightly through hers. She thought of Bath, of walking hand in hand—Hands cupped, though: like friends, not like this, Ani thought—with Remus. She was instantly filled with an intense longing. Who knew when they would all be together and out of danger again?
"Maybe Remus is right," Sirius said, his tight voice breaking through her thoughts. He tightened his grip on her hand. "Maybe there is someone else who we can send… someone besides you."
She shook her head vehemently. "You know there isn't," she argued. "Your plan is a good one, Sirius, but I'm the only person who can make it work. You know that."
He sighed. "I do know," he said wryly, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it."
Ani smiled at him and squeezed his hand briefly. "Should've thought of that before you mentioned it, then," she teased him.
He laughed, albeit briefly. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he suggested, "Well, what about Rion?"
She stopped so suddenly that it was like stepping into a brick wall. Sirius, still keeping his pace, jerked around when she stopped and looked at her questioningly. Ani removed her hand from his. "No," she growled, harsher than intended. "I've got one brother in St. Mungo's and I don't need to send the other to join him."
"Hey." Sirius stepped back to her and put a hand on her shoulder, which had grown tense and taut. "You're right," he surrendered. "You're right." He placed his other hand on her shoulder and rubbed gently for a moment. A bit of the tension ebbed away. Ani sighed. "I'm sorry," Sirius apologized, taking her hand again. They resumed walking. "I am. That was stupid; I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay." She leaned into him for a moment. "You all just want to protect me. I understand that. But I'm also glad you know that this is something I have to do. If anything else happens to my dad…" Her voice trembled and Sirius rubbed the pad of his thumb over her hand. She cleared her throat and continued, "The way Dumbledore talked about that activity on the moors… I'm sure he thinks my dad is still… well, you know…"
Sirius nodded sharply. "He is," he said. "And that's a good sign." He thought for a moment, then added, "And besides, Dumbledore wouldn't give us all this information if he didn't think we could help your dad."
"Even if he didn't have any other choice?" replied Ani cynically.
"Even then," he said, ever loyal to their headmaster. "We'll all be okay. You'll see. I promise." He flashed her the devil-may-care grin that could always make her melt. This time was no exception. "And a Black promise is unbreakable."
"Good to know," Ani smiled.
They walked the rest of the way silent and hand-in-hand. Despite the looming terror of their mission, Ani felt strangely calm and when they reached St. Mungo's hidden entrance, she turned to Sirius and smiled.
She said, her voice low, "I want you to know how much I appreciate what you're all doing for me and my family." She took his other hand and squeezed them both. "It's more than I ever could have asked you to do."
"We're just happy to be there for you," Sirius answered. "You know that."
"I do."
She pushed up onto her toes and wrapped her arms tight around Sirius' neck. He hugged her back, lingeringly, as he had the last time they were outside the hospital. Ani could feel the shudder of his heart within his chest and felt hers leap to meet its pace when he pulled back and looked down into her eyes.
The moment where someone should have moved or spoken came and went. Swallowing around the sudden knot in her throat, Ani said huskily, "I'll see you on Monday, okay? By this time Tuesday this will all be over."
Sirius nodded heavily and moved his hands up her back. "Monday," he repeated softly. "Right."
Ani's breath caught hard in her throat as his hands moved around to her face, his fingers still tangled in her hair, his thumbs tilting her chin. Her senses suddenly besieged her. She could feel every whorl of his fingertips and the warmth of his breath against her cheek. Overwhelmed, she closed her eyes and waited.
The kiss warmed every bone in her body. She felt as though she would drift away on the light, sweet, silky delight of it. It ended far too soon, leaving her dizzy and star struck, her face still in Sirius' hands.
Finally after what seemed like forever, she opened her eyes. He was looking at her closely, his eyes both dreamy and wary. One eyebrow quirked in question. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Perfect," she whispered back, and reached up to pull him down to kiss her again.
---
"Remus! Wait!"
He stopped, screwed his eyes shut and forced himself to count backwards from twenty as two sets of feet pounded towards him. When he opened them again, Lily's pretty, concerned face was in his line of vision and James' hand was on his back. "Talk to me, mate," he urged. "Don't run off like that, okay?"
Remus forced himself to shrug and the three of them started walking again. "Nothing to talk about," he insisted, his chest tight as a drum. "I'm fine."
"Don't lie, Remus," Lily whispered. "You're scared. We're all scared."
Angry tears threatened to choke him but he banished them instantly. "Fine," he snapped. "I'm terrified. Happy?"
James squeezed his shoulder so hard that Remus would have winced any other time. But this time the feeling gave him extra strength—James' strength. "We just have to believe that we can do this and that everything will be okay," James murmured, meeting Lily's eyes. "That's all we can do."
His rage abated, Remus slumped under his friend's hand. "I wish more than anything that we could do this instead of Ani," he admitted quietly. "I'd give anything in the world."
"She wouldn't let you," James replied instantly, and Lily nodded.
"What if it were your father?" Lily asked him. "Or your little brother who was hurt? Could you sit back and let someone else do what it would take to rescue them? Or would you get in there and fight?"
The question made him pause. He disagreed with John Lupin more often than not—but Remus knew without a doubt that if he were in Voldemort's clutches, he would take on Hell itself to save him.
"Ani will be okay," Lily said softly, her voice brimming with hope and fear. "And you'll be there for her… In the end, that's all anyone can do."
"But it's not enough!" Remus whispered back. "It's just not enough."