Mimi woke up the next morning and winced, as her head began to pound. Her chest felt heavy, like she couldn't breath. Then she realized it was because Roger's arm was wrapped around her.
Gently, being careful not to wake him, she slid away from his arm and slid out of bed.
She winced slightly as she put weight on her ankle, and then proceeded to limp into the bathroom to take a shower.
When she came back out, a towel wrapped around her damp curls, Roger was already pulling on a ripped pair of jeans and an old Jimi Hendrix T-shirt.
"Morning," he greeted her.
Mimi grunted in response.
"How're you feeling?"
Mimi shrugged. "Like shit."
"Hangover?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"I'm sorry," he said, with a sympathetic look on his face, as he walked over to her to give her a hug.
"It's not your fault. I should have controlled my alcohol intake," she said, grinning weakly. "I'm sorry I sort of fucked up your birthday."
"You didn't fuck up my birthday," Roger said, firmly. He realized then that she was holding onto his arm so she wouldn't have to put weight on her foot.
"Do you think you should go to the hospital?"
Mimi made a face. "No way. It's just a little sprain. Besides, I don't want to go to the hospital unless I'm having a check-up for the babies, or in labor."
"Alright," Roger shrugged. "Do you want some ice to put on it?"
Mimi nodded as she began to dry her air with the towel.
"Alright. One sec," he said, kissing her on the cheek before making a detour into the kitchen.
"Morning," Mark greeted him from the kitchen table.
Roger jumped. "Jesus Christ, Mark, couldn't you make some noise and warn me you were in here first?"
Mark gave him a strange look. "The last time I checked, I lived here."
"The last time I checked, you were practically making Jan's apartment a second home for yourself," Roger teased.
Mark shrugged. He lifted up his bowl of cornflakes and held it out to Roger. "Cornflakes?"
Roger rolled his eyes. "No thanks," he said, opening the freezer.
"What are you looking for?" Mark asked.
"Ice. For Mimi's ankle," Roger replied, as he pushed aside a carton of ice cream and a package of frozen pizza's.
"We're out of ice," Mark informed him. "Me and Jan used it up."
"You did? For what?"
"I think a few weeks ago. We made smoothies."
"Smoothies? In the middle of winter?"
Mark shrugged. "It was Jan's idea. Besides, they turned out not that bad. We would have saved you one, but Pheobe, the little girl Jan sometimes baby-sits had to stay over and ate the rest."
"Oh well. I'm going downstairs to see if I can borrow ice from Collins and Frankie."
"Okay. I'll tell Mimi."
"Alright. I'll be back in a few minutes."
***
As Roger approached the door to Collins and Frankie's apartment, he could hear a huge commotion going on inside.
Roger knocked on the door.
"One sec!" he heard Collins yell.
"Hey, Collins. What's going on?" Roger asked, as he stepped inside the apartment. "You guys are making a lot of noise."
"You could hear us from upstairs?" Collins asked, confused.
"What? Oh, no. I wanted to borrow some ice for Mimi's foot. What're you guys doing in here, anyway?"
Collins grinned. "Well, I got up this morning to hear Pepper making these weird noise, so I got up and walked into the kitchen, and- oh, hell, come in and see!" he said, excitedly, leading Roger into the kitchen.
Frankie was hovering over Pepper's bed, and Roger peered over her shoulder. Nestled against Pepper were two small baby puppies, both of them with their eyes shut and their ears flat against the sides of their heads.
"Holy shit," Roger exclaimed.
"Aren't they adorable?" Frankie asked, beaming.
"They are," Roger admitted.
"We think that one of the times Pepper got loose, she met up with some other dog and she uh, you know, conceived them," Collins told him.
"I just hope she was willing," Frankie said, watching the puppies begin to nurse.
Collins laughed. "Knowing this dog, she was probably willing.
Roger said nothing, as he had flashbacks of Pepper clinging to his leg when he and Mimi babysat her.
"You should have seen the mess in here earlier," Collins said, shaking his head.
Roger made a face. "I can imagine."
"I can't believe I'm a Daddy," Collins grinned at Frankie.
Frankie laughed. "Maybe Collins could give you some pointers, Roger."
"Yeah, like give the babies squeaky chew toys and Frisbees?" Roger guessed.
Collins shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat. So you wanted an icepack?" he asked, grabbing a pack from the freezer.
"Thanks," Roger said, as Collins handed it to him.
"No problem," Collins said.
"I'd better get going upstairs before Mimi sends out a search party for me," Roger laughed.
Collins gave him a sympathetic look. "Does she have a hangover?"
Roger nodded.
"Tell her to take a couple of aspirin," Collins instructed. "Back when I was in college I had a list I had taped to my refrigerator on how to cure a hangover…I should have saved it."
Roger laughed. "Did you need to use it often?"
Collins nodded. "Oh, yes. Like you wouldn't believe."
"I have yet to learn Collins's many secrets," Frankie grinned, still crouching on the kitchen floor.
"Alright. I'm gonna bring this up to Mimi. Uh, congratulations," he said, referring to the puppies.
"Thanks, Rog," Collins said, happily, as he watched the puppies squirming around Pepper.
***
"What took you?" Mimi asked, as Roger came to find her lying down on the couch, her ankle propped up by a pillow.
"Sorry. Pepper had puppies," Roger said, as he wrapped the icepack in a dishtowel and placed it on Mimi's foot.
Mimi rose her eyebrows. "She did?"
"Yup. Two of them."
Mimi laughed, wearily. "Sounds like me."
"Except you're not having our kids on the kitchen floor," Roger warned, sitting on the couch beside her.
Mimi smiled. "Hey, you never know."
"And take these," Roger said, handing her three aspirin, ad a glass of water."
Mimi swallowed the pills. "Thanks," she said.
"How're you feeling?"
"Well it seems this morning that instead of having morning sickness, I get to have my head hurt like a bitch instead."
"I don't want you to drink anything more until the babies are born."
"Roger, I just had a little too much to drink!" Mimi protested.
"A little? You could barely stand up by yourself, and you did in fact fall over and hurt yourself. I don't want that to happen again. You're lucky you had such a small fall. What if you tripped down the stairs or something? What if something happened to the babies?"
"Roger, you're completely overreacting!" Mimi exclaimed.
Roger sighed. "I'm sorry. I just don't want anything to happen to you. Or to the babies."
Mimi reached for his hand and pulled it toward her and kissed the back of it. "Nothing will happen, Rog. I'm fine. The babies are fine."
"Not completely," Roger mumbled.
"What?"
"Mimi, hasn't the fact that the babies might be positive been bothering you?"
Mimi frowned. "Yes…but Rog, there's a good chance they might not be."
"But there's an equivalent chance that they are, also," Roger said, running his hand through his spiked hair, frustrated. "If they were, I'd feel terrible. Knowing that I'd be responsible for it, especially."
"It wouldn't be entirely your fault," Mimi said, softly. "I have it too, remember?"
Roger was silent for a moment. "I just don't know how I'd live with the guilt."
Mimi said nothing.
Roger sighed. "I think I'm going to go take a walk. Maybe go up to the roof and play my fender."
"Okay," Mimi said, quietly.
Roger got up to leave.
"Rog?"
He turned around. "Yeah, Meems?"
"I love you," she said, weakly.
Roger walked back over to the couch to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you too. I'll be back in an hour or two. Okay?"
"Okay."
***
At two pm, Maureen was still asleep. She didn't feel that she had a reason to get up. Until she heard someone knocking at the door.
"Shit," she grumbled, grabbing her robe from the floor of her bedroom. "Coming!" she called, rushing to the door.
She quickly opened it. She felt her heart burst.
"Joanne," she said quietly, trying not to make the fact that she was overjoyed too blatant.
"Hi, Mo," Joanne said, with a small smile on her face.
"Come in," Maureen said, stepping back from the doorway. "Do you need any help with your bags?"
"No thanks, I've got 'em," Joanne said, lugging them inside.
"I didn't think you'd be coming back here," Maureen said.
Joanne shrugged. "Well, I rented a place in Chelsea. I couldn't find a job…and I felt like something was missing."
"The fact that you couldn't find a job?"
"No, Mo, I missed you."
Maureen smiled. "I missed you too."
"I know we fight a lot," Joanne said, slowly. "But I feel like every time we make up, it makes the two of us stronger."
"I agree," Maureen said, softly.
"So…do you want to give us another chance?"
"Yes!... I mean, if you want to."
"I do," Joanne said, smiling.
Maureen grinned. "I missed you, Pookie."
Joanne laughed.
Maureen beamed. Finally, things were back to normal.
***
Roger rested his guitar on his knees, as he lit a cigarette, something he rarely did, unless he was extremely frustrated.
He held it loosely between his thumb and forefinger, and in the other he strummed some random chords on his fender, looking out at the horizon in front of him.
It was starting to get dark. He'd been up here longer than he'd said he would be.
Roger sighed, and stuck his pick into his back pocket, and rested his chin against the neck of the guitar.
He closed his eyes.
"Roger?"
Roger opened his eyes. Mimi was standing in front of him, wearing a large sweatshirt and an old gray pair of sweatpants. She'd let her now-dry hair down, and it hung down past her shoulders in a tangled mass.
"Hey," Roger said softly, smiling.
Mimi smiled and knelt down beside him, wrapping her arms around herself. She shivered, lightly. "It's getting dark."
"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'd be up here longer."
"It's okay."
They were both silent for a moment. The only sound was the muffled sound of cars below them, and Mimi's teeth chattering together.
"You cold?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
"A little," she said. "Thanks."
"Is your head feeling any better?"
"Sort of. I took a few more aspirin. So I'm all drugged up now," she said, and then laughed weakly at the irony of her statement.
Roger smiled and pulled her closer towards him, and the two of them stared out at the horizon, which was starting to resemble an orangey-purple bruise.
"It's beautiful," Mimi said, softly, leaning against Roger's shoulder.
"It is," Roger breathed, nuzzling his nose against his curly hair. Suddenly, he felt her body start to shake. He thought at first it was because she was cold, but then he realized she was crying.
"What's the matter?" he asked, alarmed.
"I was thinking about what you said earlier," Mimi whispered, blinking rapidly as tears escaped her eyes. "About how our kids might have HIV. I can live knowing that I have it, and that I'm at risk. But I don't know how I'd be able to live knowing I gave it to my children," she sobbed. "I don't think I would be able to live with myself, knowing that because of my stupid fucked up mistakes, my kids would have to suffer." She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Roger said, softly.
"It's not your fault. It'd been on my mind too," she whispered. "Roger, I don't want to die. I want to be there for my kids as they go through school, I want to be there when they get married. When they have kids of their own. And I don't want you to die." She was sobbing now. "I don't want to be left alone. But I don't want to leave you alone either. You, or our children. I don't want them to grow up thinking that their mother is some irresponsible crack-whore. But I know anyway, that it's the truth," she choked.
"You're not," Roger said, firmly. "Your kids are not going to think that. They're going to think of their mother as a beautiful, loving and caring person, just like I do."
Mimi sniffed. "But I can't help but hate myself…I keep thinking back to that one night…if only if I hadn't of come home drunk. If only I'd been more responsible. If only I had any sense in me, like Isabella and Daisha."
"You didn't give yourself AIDS, Mimi. That boy did."
"But it was my fucking fault! I was drunk!" Mimi yelled. "I fucked everything up for myself. For you, and for our babies. Joel was right. All I am is some druggie-slut. I'm almost glad my father's dead. I wouldn't want him to see me like this," she hiccupped.
Roger felt sick to his stomach. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Mimi this upset. He lifted his hands in attempt to brush away the tears streaming down her face. "Don't ever say that about yourself," he said, softly. "No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says. I love you. And nothing is ever going to make me think otherwise. And our kids will love you too. Both of us. They're going to be proud of you."
Mimi still looked unconvinced.
"You can't change the past, Mimi," Roger whispered. "What happened to you was terrible. It wasn't your fault. And you can't let one mistake steer the rest of your life out of control. I love you. Mark, Collins, Maureen, Joanne- they all love you too. And Angel sure as hell loves you. She's probably looking down at you right now, thinking you're being foolish for feeling so sorry for yourself. Remember what you used to tell me? There's only now? You can't live your life in fear just because of something that happened in the past, especially when you can't change your past. You need to focus on now. Now you have me, you have Mark, Collins, Maureen, everyone- you're having twins in August!"
Roger saw Mimi smile, softly.
"And you have this," Roger said, softly, reaching for something out of his back pocket.
"What is it?" Mimi whispered.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time. At first we said we'd decide this after the babies are born. But you're right- we have to live in the moment. We have to live life while we can." He revealed to her a small, black velvet box.
"Roger," Mimi said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Mimi Marquez," Roger said softly, opening the small box to reveal a gold ring with a tiny diamond set in it. "Will you marry me?"
Mimi's tears suddenly turned to tears of happiness, as she began to cry out of utter joy.
"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I will marry you."
Roger took her hand, which was shaking, and slid the ring gently onto her ring finger. He brushed the tears out of her face with his fingers, and pushed her tangled hair out of her eyes and kissed her, softly.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," she whispered through her tears.
Roger pulled her towards him, and slid his jacket off and draped it around her shoulders.
Mimi pulled her knees in towards her chest, and leaned against Roger, and closed her eyes.
Roger ran his fingers through her hair, and looked out again at he view in front of him. The sun was now almost hidden, as it began to began to set.
Roger looked down at Mimi, and wondered if he should tell her to open her eyes so she could see. But by the small smile on her face, Roger could tell that she already sensed it.
Review!!!