Author's Note: My story is the perfect cure for your anal retention.

"Mama? It's me, Mimi."

"Mimi, Chica! How did the doctor go? Bien?"

Mimi grinned and cradled the phone closer to her head. "Yes, it went well, Mama. We found out what we're having."

"You sound like you're talking about dinner or something," Roger said with a mouthful of toothpaste as he walked into the bedroom, toothbrush in hand.

Mimi shushed him with her finger, as she struggled to listen. "Si, Mama. A boy, and a girl."

"Both! Oh, mija. I'm so happy for you." Conchita sighed. "I can't believe you're having your own children now. Just yesterday I was first pregnant with Isabella…"

"I know, Mama," Mimi laughed. "It was only yesterday."

"Exactamente. Are you two doing anything special?"

"Well, we were thinking of going up to visit Roger's parents," Mimi said, twirling the phone cord subconsciously.

"That sounds very nice. You be sure to keep in good shape for my grandchildren, ¿Usted oye? You start eating healthier now."

"Thanks, Mama. I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course."

"Okay. Tell Daisha I said hello."

"Alright. Take care, chica."

"Adios."

Mimi hung up the phone and looked up at Roger, who had just come out of the bathroom. "Your turn."

"What?"

"You call your parents now," she said, handing him the phone.

Roger made a face. "Now?"

"It's now or never," Mimi said, waggling the phone in front of his face.

Roger groaned and took the phone from her, flopping down onto the bed. "I'll be damned if I still know the number," he mumbled, as he dialed. The phone began to ring, and to his disappointment, someone picked up rather than letting the answering machine take it.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

"Is this Roger?"

"Yeah, Mom, it's me."

"Oh. Hi! I haven't heard from you in a while. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. How's dad?"

"Well, you know him. He took Rachel to the movies the other day. He just got a new job down at the factory. You know he moved into a different apartment, right?"

"Yeah, you told me."

"So…how are you and your wife to be?" Roger heard a teasing tone in his mother's voice.

"Fine," Roger said, hiding a smile. "Actually, that's part of the reason why I called. I've met Mimi's family and everything…and she's never met you guys, and seeing as she's going to be your daughter in-law in a couple of months…I wanted to know if you'd mind us coming up there for the weekend, maybe?"

"Oh…I suppose so. Your room's still the way you left it. We have that old cot that the nanny used to sleep on in the basement. Your father knows how to set those things up…you're talking about this weekend?"

"Yup. Day after tomorrow," Roger said. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. Rachel's going to be at a friend's on Saturday, but she'll be back Sunday. And dad can stop by too."

"Alright. Sounds good," Roger said.

"So you two thinking of starting a family yet?" Roger's mother teased.

Roger winced. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."

"About what?"

"Well…I haven't told you this…well…Mimi's pregnant."

Mimi stared at Roger and mouthed, You never told them?!

Roger's mother faltered. "That's…great, honey…did you just find out?"

"Well, no…we actually got back from having the ultrasound a little while ago."

"So you're having children before you get married?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah, mom. It wasn't exactly planned out like that…it just happened. But it's all working out."

"Alright," she said, slowly. "I don't know what you're father will think of this…you're still free to come, of course. What time should we expect you?"

"Is two thirty okay?"

"Can you come at three?"

"No problem."

"Right. I'll see you soon, hon."

"Bye, mom," Roger said, hanging up the phone.

"You didn't tell them?" Mimi asked, frowning.

"I…was going to…I didn't really know how to bring it up," Roger said, sheepishly.

"Well, you're a little late to tell them," Mimi said, quietly.

Roger gently pulled her towards him. "I know, baby. My parents just…aren't the best at accepting certain things. It's hard, you know?"

"I guess so," Mimi answered, softly.

"Your mom's understanding. My parents are different. They're uptight."

"I understand. I guess," Mimi said. "Are we still going to meet them?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah. Day after tomorrow."

Mimi smiled. "Okay. Thank you."

"My pleasure," Roger joked.

Mimi made a face.

"What's wrong?"

"They're starting to use me as their personal punching bag," she groaned.

Roger winced. "I'm sorry, baby."

"We don't have anymore Advil, do we?"

"I don't think so. We can get some in the morning," he said, gently rubbing her belly.

Mimi sighed. "Okay."

"You'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Good," Roger said, with forced enthusiasm, "Because we've got some packing to do tomorrow."

"Is this it?" Mimi asked, sticking her head out the window as Roger pulled into a long cul-de-sac. Frankie had allowed them to borrow the car for the weekend.

"Yup, that's it. In all it's glory," Roger said, as they pulled up next to a plain, white, one-story house."

"It's nice," Mimi offered, as Roger pulled the bags from the backseat.

"Please," Roger laughed. "It's nothing."

"Hey, I lived in an apartment growing up. Compared to that, this place is a palace," Mimi declared.

They walked up the front steps, and Roger slowly knocked on the door.

A tall, lanky blonde woman with glasses opened the door almost immediately. Mimi could see a slight resemblance to Roger.

"Hi, honey," she smiled, embracing Roger in a bear hug. "It's good to see you."

"You too, mom," Roger greeted. "This is Mimi."

"Hi," Roger's mom said, awkwardly. "My, you are far along," she laughed, and Mimi blushed.

"Meems, this is Elaine, my mom," Roger said, helping her along.

"Nice to meet you," Mimi smiled, shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you too, dear," Elaine returned the gesture. "You two want to come inside?"

"Sure," Roger said, picking up their bags.

"Oh, let me," Elaine said, retrieving the bags from Roger. "You want me to stick these in your room?"

"Sure…thanks," Roger said.

"Your father's in the living room. Make sure to say hello to him too," Elaine said, before disappearing into the other room.

Roger smiled at Mimi and took her hand, and they slowly retreated into the living room.

"Hi, Dad," Roger said.

Roger was a carbon copy of his father, minus the pot-belly and the graying hair. "Well. Long time, no see," his father said, rising up to hug him, briefly.

"This is Mimi, dad," Roger said, placing his arm around her.

He looked at her. "Your mother told me you two had been a little busy. You're a bit late to tell us."

"Sorry," Roger mumbled, blushing.

"I'm Raymond," Roger's dad said, holding his hand out to Mimi.

"Mimi," Mimi said, taking his hand.

Raymond looked at her quizzically. "Well…you two have a seat. I'll go get your mother," he said, going into the other room after Elaine.

Roger sat down next to Mimi on the couch. "Sorry. They're kind of weird," he apologized.

Mimi laughed and tousled his hair. "That explains where you get it from."

"Back," Raymond announced, as Roger struggled to fix his hair. He and Elaine sat on the couch opposite from the one Mimi and Roger were seated on.

"Anyone want lemonade?" Elaine asked.

Roger shook his head. "No thanks. We already ate."

"So…," Raymond said, slowly. "We've got a lot of catching up to do, Rog."

"Yep," Roger said, looking at the floor, uneasily.

"So Mimi, are you employed?"

"Well, no…I quit my job about a year ago."

"Oh? What job was that?" Elaine asked.

"It was…at this club."

"Were you a waitress?" Raymond asked.

"I…was a dancer."

Raymond gave her a weird look. "I see. Are you working, Rog?"

"No. The guys and I play often, though, and that pays a lot."

"You should get a stable job," Raymond said.

"I know," Roger mumbled.

"What kind of dancing job was this?" Elaine asked Mimi, confused.

"I…"

"Not one of those stripper clubs?" Raymond laughed.

Mimi looked at Roger, uncomfortably.

Elaine cleared her throat. "Well," she said. "How far along are you?"

"About six months," Mimi answered.

"We're having a boy and a girl," Roger added, eager to change the subject.

Elaine smiled at Raymond. "You hear that, Ray? We're going to be grandparents."

"I know. Roger…is she…are you…," he paused. "Are you positive as well?"

"Yeah," Mimi said, quietly.

Raymond sighed. "You girls mind if I talk to Roger here, man to man?"

Elaine gave him a puzzled look. "Sure…I'll set some linens up in your room, Roger. Mimi, dear, you can go wait in the kitchen if you want. Help yourself to anything."

"Okay," Mimi said, uneasily, walking into the kitchen, and closing the door softly behind her. Raymond was making no effort to keep his voice down, and Mimi could easily hear his and Roger's conversation.

"I expected better from you, Roger."

"What?!"

"Honestly, son, she was a dancer at a strip club?"

"No, dad…it wasn't like that. She's past all that now."

"And what are you thinking having kids with another person who's HIV positive? You want your kids to suffer?"

"No, Dad," Roger exclaimed, angrily.

"Roger, you can't just bring in some whore you find at a club and spring up out of nowhere saying you're going to marry her and spend your life with her! Girls like that, Rog…do you even know if you're the only man in her life?"

Hot tears stung the corner of Mimi's eyes, and she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"Don't you call her that," Roger growled. "You don't know her. She's not like that at all. You can't just fucking judge her like that."

Raymond sighed. "I'm just saying, Roger…"

"Well, don't 'just say.' I'm telling you she's not that kind of person. And that should be enough for you," Roger said, disgusted. "I'm going to go unpack our stuff."

He wandered over to the kitchen and opened the door. "Meems?" The kitchen was empty. "Mimi?" he called, knocking on the door of the bathroom. No one in there. Confused, he stuck his head out the door, and saw Mimi leaning against the side of the car, with her arms folded and her shoulders hunched over.

"Hey," Roger said gently, placing his arm around her shoulders. "What're you doing out here?"

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Rog," Mimi said, softly.

"What?"

"Your parents hate me, Roger. I heard your dad talking about me in the other room."

Roger sighed. "Meems, my dad's a jackass. That's why he and my mom are divorced. Don't let him get to you. He's just a lot of talk."

"Maybe so…I just feel…unwanted, though," she sniffed.

Roger cupped her chin in his hands. "Hey, stop that. Don't let my dad upset you. He can be a real ass…the guy has a heart though, I've gotta admit. Sometimes." He handed her a tissue from his pocket. Mimi sighed and wiped her eyes.

"You wanna go back in there? We can unpack and crash for the night if you want."

Mimi nodded. "Okay."

"Kay," Roger said softly, and the two of them slowly went back into the house.