Disclaimer: I don't own RK

Author's note: that email address is real …as are the questions! I had asked some friends to submit some "problems" to me. If you wish you submit a question for Mr. Hiko, feel free. I will actually answer them all in the manner that I feel he would answer them if he were truly alive. Feel free to flame this piece, if you feel you can withstand my retorts. Don't scratch if you don't wish to be mauled… Stuck in Historic Japan issue #3

Draft submitted to editor in chief Aoshi Shinamori.
Editor: Goro Fujita
August, 2004

 Hello, last edition of the summer. Hiko's got some more questions to answer, and there will be a guest columnmist in our September issue. If he chooses that weasel-girl, I swear I'll play human jumprope with her braid.

Dear Hiko-san,
I'm a naturally suspicious person. I find that it's very lonely to never fully be able to trust anyone, not even my long-term boyfriend. Every few days I get paranoid and suspect him of doing something behind my back. Sometimes I feel like my own family could be plotting against me or something. I can't think of anything that's ever happened to me that would explain why I'm so distrustful.
-Paranoid Android

Dear Paranoid, Nobody ever realizes how badly they've been traumatized by an event. Now, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and guess that you were very young when said traumatic event took place. In that case, here are the closest pieces of advice i could give you:
a) Doctor. Prozac. Now.
b) YOur boyfriend is either hiding something from you, or purposely playing with your mind by pretending to be hiding something from you. I hardly think I need to point out which one is more likely.
c) YOu don't trust yourself. Sounds absurd, doesn't it? Maybe. But it is human nature to be hypocritical and subconciously project our own desires or actions into accusatory thoughts. Think about it.
Either way, a talk with your boyfriend is in order. As for the part about not trusting your family...unless they all wear white trenchcoats and and spew Zen drivel for hours on end, you should have a long talk with them also. Maybe your pharmacy will give a package discount for that Prozac...

Dear Hiko sir,
I heard you know Himura-san personally and I was wondering if-

Ergh, next.

Dear Hiko-san,
What do you think about the war in Iraq?
-Dove-eater

Dear Dove-eater
War in Iraq? Kami-sama, I need to browse the news sites more often. Have the U.S taken any slaves to work in their sweatshops yet? You know, I never understood the concept of sweatshops. To think that a human being can be so deficient in self-esteem that they would agree to work for pennies per hour, really boggles my mind. It's a sad state of affairs when the whole world knows what goes on behind the scenes and they accept i they can keep low prices. As if an assembly line could possibly produce something as beautiful as I would be able to single-handedly. Sigh...oh...uhm, the war eh? Well, I don't fight in wars. Wait, what country were we talking about again?

Editor Fujita's note: Our guest columnist in September will feature person who does not drink more than five jugs of sake every day.

--- AN: The opinion expressed in the "War" question is purely my own creation, and not that of Hiko-sama nor his creator :) Till next time!