Author's Note: I still don't own Gilmore Girls…

Lorelai watched Luke's silhouette fade into the distance and she began to cry. The tears, which she swore she'd fight, overpowered her and she collapsed into a heap in the center of yard. She silently wept as she struggled to understand what happened.

She knew she'd said things to hurt Luke. She knew he said things to hurt her in retaliation. 'He couldn't be telling the truth about Nicole, could he?' she wondered. Lorelai knew Luke didn't really love her. Or was that just what she told herself all those months she pictured him married? Luke married to Nicole? It didn't make sense. It never did. 'He was lying,' she told herself over and over again.

Lorelai sat hunched over on the lawn, not unlike Rory had a few weeks ago. She just sat there staring into the night until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head hopefully thinking it might be Luke coming back to make up, to explain. But it wasn't Luke who offered a supportive hand. It was Christopher.

"Lore," Christopher said quietly.

"Hey," Lorelai tried to smile and put on a brave face as she wiped her face of the salty tears.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lorelai lied. "I'm good. I didn't mean to run out on you like that. You deserved an explanation and I just left."

"I think the fact that you ran after Luke and left me was all the explanation I needed," Christopher said.

"I shouldn't have done that," she offered standing up. "I didn't mean for things to get so complicated." Lorelai walked a quick circle while she scratched her forehead thinking.

"I didn't notice your feelings for me," she said. "I didn't realize the effect you being here would have on me, Rory or Luke. Apparently everyone saw what was happening except me. I'm the Clueless Wonder in all this! And now, not only have I hurt you, I've hurt myself, Rory won't be too pleased and Luke…man I messed up with Luke."

"Yeah you two were pretty loud out here," Christopher said.

"How loud?" Lorelai asked distressed that other people might have heard them fighting.

"Remember when we snuck off to Boston to see Bon Jovi and our seats were right next to the speakers?" he asked.

"That bad?" Lorelai asked.

"Louder," he replied. "Give or take five decibels."

"Great," she said glumly.

"I'm sorry if I messed things up for you Lore," Christopher offered. "I just wanted to take a chance so that when I look back years from now I'll know I did everything I could and I won't regret anything."

Lorelai looked up at Christopher. 'When did he turn into an adult?' she wondered. He was being so mature. She kissed him and turned him down and he was trying to help her feel better.

"I know," Lorelai said. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm sorry I kissed you like that, but I had to know."

"And you got your answer," Christopher said.

"Yeah, I guess," she replied walking over to the front steps and taking a seat.

Christopher followed her and sat down next to her. "So why did you take it back--what you said to Luke?"

"God we were that loud?" she asked. Christopher simply nodded.

"I don't know. I didn't mean to tell him I loved him, it just slipped out. And there he was looking puzzled, like it was way too fast to be saying 'I love you' and I panicked. I was screaming at him for not trusting me and then I was telling him I loved him and he was looking at me like I was insane."

"You didn't really give him a chance to say anything," Christopher told her.

"Excuse me?" she said.

"I'm just saying, from my point of view you gave the guy about 15 seconds to process what you told him and then you took it back."

"Thanks for seeing it my way," she replied.

"I'm just saying, you might have given him a little more time to respond," Christopher said.

"Oh he responded alright," Lorelai said. "You heard him. He's still married," she supplied air quotes with her fingers as she said 'married.' "He's going away to work on his marriage. I was there when he got his divorce papers notarized and now he thinks he can lie about it?" she continued.

"It doesn't make sense, but I think you were both pretty spiteful," Christopher said. "He said things to piss you off and you did the same thing. You know how to push each other's buttons."

"Yeah, well we've always been good at that," Lorelai said glumly.

"Look, I'm think I'm gonna go," Christopher said standing. "You didn't want me here tonight and I think I've already caused you enough trouble."

"Chris," Lorelai said standing. "I'm sorry, you don't have to go. It's late. I should at least offer you a place to stay after what happened in the kitchen tonight."

"No, I think it would be better for both of us if I left," he replied. "I can pretend that I'm fine for a little while longer, but a whole night? It just wouldn't work."

Lorelai stood up and walked into the house with Christopher. "I'm really sorry about how everything worked out. I never meant to hurt you," Lorelai offered as she helped him pack his bag.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry too," Christopher replied softly. "If it wouldn't be too weird I'd kind of like to be here when Rory gets back from Europe. Would that be okay?"

"I think that would be great," Lorelai said. "Rory would really like that."

"Okay," he said. "Well then I'll come back. The 28th?"

"Yeah, the 28th at 4 o'clock," Lorelai replied.

"Okay, well then I'll be here," Christopher forced a smile as he zipped his bag. He looked at Lorelai as he slung it over his shoulder. "I waited too long huh?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said sadly looking down.

"When did you know? I mean I don't believe you even needed to kiss me to figure it out," he said.

Lorelai sighed. "I guess I knew when I watched you and Sherry at the hospital. Everything was real then. You were experiencing something with her that we never got and it hurt. I guess I knew then," she explained.

"Then why the kiss?" he asked.

"I had to be sure," she said simply. "I didn't want to screw things up again and I had to be positive there was nothing there."

Christopher listened to her explanation and nodded. "Well I can't say I'm not disappointed," he said walking to the door.

"You take care of yourself Christopher," Lorelai said.

"You too," he said opening the door. "And do yourself a favor--don't be stubborn," he said giving her advice.

"I'm not stubb--," Christopher cut her off by placing his hand over her mouth.

"You are," he said forcefully. "And from what I've seen Luke is too. Don't let whatever you have going on pass you by." He removed his hand from her mouth.

"Thanks," she said wryly.

"You're welcome. I'll see you in a few weeks," he said.

Lorelai watched Christopher walk through the door and to his car and she was alone. Undeniably alone. The silence was deafening. The problem with the silence was that it left her with thoughts--horrible ruminations on Luke, Rory, Christopher and everything else that had gone wrong. The only way to shut out the thoughts was to silence them, turn off her brain. And so Lorelai slowly climbed the stairs and threw herself on her bed where she turned off the thoughts running through her brain until morning.

She didn't want to go to the diner. Christopher was right. Lorelai was stubborn and he had told Luke she wasn't planning on returning to his diner again. But the rational part of her took over and Christopher's advice rang through her ears. 'Don't be stubborn.' She heard it over and over again as she struggled to avoid going to Luke's. Finally she relented and decided he was right. Lorelai wanted to make this relationship work and if it meant an apology then that's what she would do.

She opened the door to the diner and scanned the crowd. She didn't see any sign of Luke. He was probably in the back. She felt a smug sense of power when she realized he would be shocked to see her. It definitely gave her the upper hand. He would be more likely to accept her apology if he weren't expecting it.

Lorelai took a seat at an empty table and waited. She scanned the crowd again and noticed Lane. She smiled at her as she walked over the table.

"Hey Lorelai," Lane said with a smile. "Coffee?"

"Yeah that would be great," Lorelai replied. "Actually no," she changed her mind.

"No?" Lane asked puzzled.

"No," Lorelai repeated. 'I'm actually looking for Luke. Is he in the back?"

"Oh, no he's not," Lane replied. "He went out of town for a few days."

An unsettling feeling washed over Lorelai as she processed this news. "Oh," she replied dejected. "Did he go on one of his fishing expeditions?" Lorelai tried to mock without much luck.

"No," Lane said. "He said something about a retreat. I thought it sounded kind of weird. Luke doesn't strike me as a communal living/team building kind of guy. I thought maybe you talked him into it."

"No, no I sure didn't," Lorelai replied in disbelief. The unsettling feeling in her stomach quickly turned to sickness. Lorelai had the overwhelming urge to heave, but instead she painted on a fake plastic smile. "Uh you know what Lane? Coffee would be great."

"Okay coming right up," Lane said congenially as she walked into the kitchen.

Lorelai sat at the table studying the pattern on the Formica. She felt ill. 'Could he have been telling the truth about Nicole?' Lorelai wondered. Suddenly she heard the bells above the door jingle and Babette walked in. Against her better judgement Lorelai waved her over to the table.

"Hi Babette," Lorelai tried to say brightly.

"Hey sugar," Babette said sitting down. "I've been meaning to talk to you."

"Oh good," Lorelai said. "I've been meaning to talk to you too."

"Oh that's great honey," Babette smiled and lightly slapped Lorelai's hand. "Look I hope you don't mind me asking, but Patty saw me this morning and she asked me something and I said I had to check with you on it. Patty said she heard that Luke was getting back together with that hoity-toity lawyer wife of his. I told her that couldn't be true because she cheated on him, not to mention we all thought you and Luke had a little something going on," Babette said giving her a nudge.

Lorelai had thought she new what sick felt like, but after hearing Babette mention Luke and Nicole getting back to together she realized she didn't have a clue what sick felt like until now. Lorelai struggled to keep her emotions in check while she gathered more information.

"Um, huh. Really? Where did Patty hear this from Babette?" Lorelai asked.

"Well she saw Luke loading up the truck late last night. She thought maybe you two were going on a romantic get-away, but when she asked he said he was going to some sort of couples retreat with that Nicole," Babette explained.

The color from Lorelai's face drained as she suddenly realized that Luke hadn't been lying. He was getting back together with Nicole. Lorelai felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt as if her chest had caved in and punctured her lungs. No amount of self-control allowed her to act calmly. Instead she quickly stood and dashed out of the diner.

"Lorelai?" Babette said. "Sweetie, are you okay?" Babette called after her.

Lorelai paid no attention to Babette's calls. Instead she walked as fast as her legs would carry her to her Jeep. She opened the door and drove off struggling to see the road through the tears in her eyes.

Days went by and Lorelai focused all her energy on the inn. She hadn't gone to Luke's since the day she found out he had really gone away with Nicole. She couldn't understand how he could be so cold. She thought they were starting something special. It was new and scary, but it was also exciting and the best Lorelai had felt about a relationship.

The previous morning Sookie told Lorelai that Luke had returned to the diner. According to Sookie he looked tan and well rested, but tenser than ever before. The talk of the town was, of course, the fact that the perceived relationship between Luke and Lorelai had ended rather abruptly and that Luke was reported to be back with Nicole. No one had actually seen Nicole, but no one saw much of Nicole when they were married before so it didn't seem like a big deal.

Sookie reported that Luke was unusually hostile to Taylor and virtually ignored all of Kirk's requests. Luke was only back a day before the town agreed that they liked when Luke dated Lorelai much better than when he was married to Nicole. The shift in mood was drastic and dramatic.

Luke noticed how they talked about him, but he didn't much care. He had bigger problems at the moment. The largest being the constant thoughts of Lorelai that ran through his head. He silently hoped that she would walk through the door each and every day, but he knew that was wishful thinking. He thought of going to see her. After all he owed her an explanation, but he couldn't bring himself to go see her.

Lorelai had made sure to go to the market and restaurants when she was sure Luke would be preoccupied at the diner. It had been a week since their fight and neither had seen or spoken to each other. Lorelai worked on providing the best customer service around and Luke threw himself into the diner.

After work Lorelai decided a movie might be the best thing to pass the time so she walked to the video store. She was certain it was the one place in town where she didn't have to bother to check the time to see if Luke might show up. She was wrong.

It was quite befitting that Lorelai and Luke ran into each other in between the drama and horror section of the store. It spoke volumes about the state of their relationship at the given time. Lorelai had just picked up Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet and was turning to approach the register when she literally ran into Luke. He was turning and they bumped into each other at full force. Both dropped their respective videos and stared at each other for moment.

"Sorry," they both said in unison.

"My fault," Luke mumbled.

"Stupid close racks," Lorelai said.

Luke bent down to pick up their videos at the same time Lorelai bent down. They both struggled to conceal the videos they'd chosen with no luck.

"Jerry Maguire?" Lorelai said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's about football," Luke defended himself standing.

"Right," she replied sarcastically. "Since when do you rent movies anyway?"

Luke was taken aback. She was right. He didn't rent movies, but he couldn't very well admit that he missed watching them since he and Lorelai weren't speaking. How could he tell her that he had this overwhelming urge to be close to her and renting a video was the only way to quell that need? Instead he changed the focus of the conversation. "Romeo and Juliet?" Luke shot back at her.

"It's cinematic masterpiece," Lorelai said. "Not to mention Shakespeare perfectly captures the way love drives people to suicide," she said pointedly.

"Nice," he mumbled.

"Well I'm sure Nicole will just love Jerry Maguire," Lorelai said.

Luke stood mute. He wasn't sure what to say. This loss for words seemed to be the problem he faced when he was around Lorelai lately. His inability to reply after her sudden admission of love had been the cause of their fight. Luke had spent the last week thinking about that fight and it had finally dawned on him that Lorelai had said she loved him. He was too angry at the time to realize that she meant it. But now he wasn't angry, he was thinking clearly.

"We need to talk," he said finally.

"We have nothing to say to each other," she replied and quickly turned away to walk to the register.

Luke quickly fell into step and followed behind her. "Lorelai," he said seriously.

She wasn't sure what it was that made her turn. She thought it was the tone of his voice. There was a seriousness, but also a pleading and it made her stop.

"What?" she said exasperated.

"Please talk to me," he said.

"I have nothing to say," Lorelai replied.

"Well I do," Luke said. He looked around and was very aware that the store seemed to be hanging on their every word. "Can we do this somewhere else?" he asked.

"Fine," she said tossing her video on the counter. "Save this for me Pete. I'll be back," she said walking ahead of Luke out of the store.

Luke threw his video on top of hers and followed her out of the store. She was walking quickly and he finally caught up.

"Where are you going?" he asked while they walked.

"You wanted to talk, we're talking. You didn't want to be in the video store and we're not. Do I have to make all the decisions tonight?" she said.

"No," Luke said taking her by the arm. "We're going to my apartment," he said leading her to the back door of the diner and up the stairs.

"Oh, it's still your apartment?" Lorelai questioned. "I thought maybe you were back in Litchfield with Nicole."

Luke looked at her. She was trying to push his buttons. He couldn't deny that she was good at it, but he refused to let her get the best of him this time. He opened the door and ushered her in.

"Sit," he commanded as he walked over to a file cabinet.

Shocking Luke, Lorelai complied with his request without a fight. She pulled out a chair and sat in the chair. Luke walked over with a folder in his hands. He threw it down on the table in front of Lorelai.

"Here," he said.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Just read it," Luke replied.

TBC