Natalie walked into Rodi's and noticed first that all the chairs were stacked up on the tables and it looked like the bar had been cleaned off. The pool table though was set up for a game, and a pool stick was laying on the top. She went to reach for it but someone else grabbed it before her and she looked up to see John chalking the tip before breaking. She went and grabbed a cue, "Can I join in? John?" she said but he didn't respond to her—didn't even acknowledge her in the room. "John? Is everything ok?" she said as she walked over next to him and as she touched his shoulder, "John?"

But before he responded she began hearing a beeping noise and she reached over to hit the alarm clock, "McBain, you are still haunting my dreams," she sighed as she opened her eyes and looked to see the sun was just rising outside. She'd been at the retreat for three and a half weeks, but he hadn't escaped her memories in the least.

Now Paul—he was another story. The second week of Natalie's retreat there was a new girl that came in for relaxation from life—her last name was Cramer, but it had taken days for Natalie to realize it, and after that she never thought of Paul.

She slipped out of the bed and stretched and taking a survey of the room—it was lightly furnished with a twin bed, nightstand a dresser and a small bathroom to the side—in all, about the same size as John's. She sighed and shook her head—awake or asleep, he was still close in her thoughts.

Natalie noticed the mail had arrived and she picked up an envelope and smiled at Jessica's handwriting. She sat on the edge of the bed while she read about life in Llanview, how big Jamie was getting, Kevin's latest charade against Todd, but she never mentioned him—didn't say if he was thinking about her or if he and Evangeline had grown into more than just friends. It was for the best though that she didn't know until she got home. Natalie took one last look at the clock before getting up and getting ready for the day.

"Here is the information I told you I'd give you," said Kara as she passed along pamphlets and print outs across her desk to Natalie. Kara was a social worker, and the daughter of Natalie's counselor at the retreat. Her counselor had listened to Natalie tell her past history—her life before Llanview, the Buchannan's, and a trust fund with more money than she could have ever imagined. It hadn't taken her long to suggest talking to her daughter, and see if giving back to the children that were once like her be something that would interested her.

"Thank you—these past few weeks have really given me some insight on doing this as a career. I mean I know what it was like to grow up in a lifestyle most of these children are growing up now, and I guess if I can help them in some way then that's the best," said Natalie as she looked through the information on taking the steps to being a social worker, and other ways to work with Children Services in Pennsylvania.

"It's a good job Natalie, and rewarding—but nothing is perfect. There are times that I see children slip through the system, or have to be returned to harsh living conditions and your hands are tied with red tape."

Natalie stood up and slipped the papers into her purse, "I'm just glad that I found something that seems to have meaning for me—not much has had meaning for me since my husband died," she said as she was surprised at the words that came out of her mouth.

"Something always has meaning to us—usually it's something that is similar to our own experiences growing up."

"You seem happier than when you first came," said Martha, Natalie's counselor and Kara's mother.

"I am—I came here to find peace and figure out where to go next in my life, and I think I've found both. Not just peace in Cristian's death, but also a peace that it's ok if I don't have someone in my life at the moment."

"But you are still thinking about John McBain?"

Natalie gave an embarrassing laugh, "Yes, I had another dream about him last night. He didn't say anything to me—we were at my work, and everything was put up and it seemed closed, but he was playing a game of pool, and when I tried to join in he didn't respond, and when I went to touch him to get his attention my alarm clock went off."

"Well, it seems to me that your subconscious is worried he has been not thinking about you since you were gone—that's why you can't get his attention in the dreams, because you aren't sure if he'll still want your attention. Just keep reminding yourself that if it doesn't work out when you get back home that you are a strong woman and that it's ok to be single at the moment. Get your career on track, and everything else will fall in place."

"I hope so. Is there anything else?"

"Well, usually I give out the letters from people not on the list that have come in, but I don't seem to have any for you."

"Really? Oh," said Natalie as she tried to hide the disappointment in her voice that John hadn't somehow gotten a hold of the address here and written her. "Thank you anyways," she smiled and left.

She was having another dream again—and she knew it this time. She walked into Rodi's, deserted as before, but this time she took a chair down off one of the tables and sat it facing the pool table. She watched as John played one game and second and then a third—the entire time he never looked up, just kept a steady eye on the game at hand.

Her thoughts began to wonder why he hadn't written her, and if she was somehow haunting his dreams like he was doing at the moment. She laughed when the thought crossed her mind that she had to be dreaming because John never played this good the entire time she'd known him. Whatever happened once she returned to Llanview she knew one thing—it was going to take more than just time to get him to stop haunting her dreams if their friendship, and anything beyond it was over.