A/N: Just want to give an explanation on the lack of chapters lately. Right after the last chapter was posted my computer crashed and I lost all my fan fic work—it's taken me a few weeks to get back into writing. Enjoy! Until next time—PCGirl.

John's head was down and his mind was deep in thought of the current case as he walked through Angel Square. Suddenly he heard a shout and before he had a chance to react Natalie was pressed directly against his body and his arms instantly went around her to keep from falling. "Hey," he smiled taking a look at her and moving her just an inch away from him so he could get a better look at the scenario—roller blades, he thought—that explains a lot, "I was hoping to run into you, but not quiet so literally."

Natalie smiled and looked down at the skates, and realized he was still holding her up, "Ok, I think I've got the hang of it," she said as he slowly released his grip. "See, it's not that hard," she said as she stood on her own too feet for a quick moment before falling towards him again.

"Ok, let's try and get you sitting down," he said taking a look behind him and walking backwards and pulling Natalie with him towards the nearest bench. "There—nothing like nice sturdy concrete to sit on," he grinned at her, his eyes dancing at being able to see her again. She'd been back for three days—Antonio had told him multiple times the day she came back, but they'd been bogged down since then with multiple arrests and murderers for him to take the moment to call and see how she was doing—dinner for the time being was out of the question.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said as she moved a piece of hair behind her ear and kept smiling, "Maybe I should have rented a bike instead," she said finally releasing her gaze at him and motioning over to the rental stand nearby.

"Maybe I should talk Bo into having us require a license to use these things. I miss the old brown skates at the skating rink near where I grew up in AC."

"I know exactly where you are talking about. Oh—what was it called?" she said as she looked up towards the sky, her eyes closing as she began to think of the name, "Skate-."

"O-Rama," he laughed at knowing the answer.

Her eyes popped open and she laughed, "That's it! Skate-O-Rama. I'd save money for weeks during the summer to go there. There was nothing better than spending at day at the rink—between the skating, and did they have that rickety pool table when you were there?"

"Yeah—where do you think I learned?"

"That explains a lot—it was so bumpy and unstable you couldn't make a shot to save your life," she laughed out loud.

"So what is with the sudden urge to revisit your childhood?"

Natalie's eyes stopped sparkling for a moment and she looked at him, "I'm nervous and needed something to do to get my mind off of a phone call I may or may not receive today."

"What phone call?"

"When I was gone I realized I want to help children—those that are in bad family situations and try and help them either get out of them, or show them that there are people out there that will still care for them away from home. I was given the name of place in Philly—they need a new counselor and I sent them a letter of inquiry, along with a few letters of reference."

"And today is D-day?"

Natalie knotted her hands, "Yeah, and believe me I'm scared as anything."

"Don't be—I'm sure you'll get the job," he said, hoping he was wrong—the thought of her being any more than five minutes away made his stomach churn. "But if the kid wants to go roller blading, I strongly suggest you teach them pool instead."

Natalie laughed, "Thanks. Well, you looked like you were in some serious thought before I ran into you."

"Yeah, I better get back before Antonio sends the force after me. Will you be able to get back to the rental place safely on your own?"

"Yeah, I'm should be able to manage that much. Bye John."

John gave her a smile and almost said something else before saying goodbye and turned to leave.

"So wait—you did give John the address to the retreat?" asked Natalie to her sister while they sat in Rodi's.

"Yeah, I guess it was the first or second week you were gone. It was kind of cute how he got it he--."

"I don't care—what I care about was he obviously doesn't care for me enough to write his thoughts. Why should I be surprised though? I mean he never tells anyone what he's thinking—he just stands there like a bit dummy and stares at you," she said as she slapped the table and her water jumped and spilt slightly on the table.

"Nat—it wasn't like that all. He seriously was out of his mind the four weeks you were gone."

"Are you sure it wasn't Evangeline he was thinking of?"

"What? No—why would you think of that?"

"I've been back three days, and the only reason I talked to him earlier was because I ran into him—literally."

"So? They've been so busy at the station I'm asleep before Antonio gets in at night. Have you asked him? Did you two even talk about feelings?"

"No--," she said as she stopped her rant and heard her phone ringing. She looked at the caller ID to see Philadelphia across the screen, "I've got to take this," she said grabbing her purse and heading outside where it was quiet.

Jessica knocked on John's office door and stuck her head in to see him and Antonio both look up at him, "Hi—am I interrupting something?"

"No, actually we were just about to call it a night—I was thinking we'd get Natalie to join us for dinner," said Antonio as he came and gave Jessica a kiss. "Do you want to come John?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute," he said looking back down at something.

"You coming?" asked Antonio to Jessica as he began to walk out and saw she was still standing there watching John.

"Give me a minute," said Jessica as she flashed him a smile and looked back to John, "Listen—this is probably none of my business, but why didn't you send Natalie a letter?" she asked as she leaned on his desk and peered at what he was working on.

"Your right, it's none of your business," he said slapping his hand down on the paper at realizing what she was doing.

"Well, I just want you to know if she leaves it's your fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"My sister thinks you have no feelings for her, that you didn't miss her because even though you had the address you didn't care enough to write to tell her so," she said turning and walking away.

"Hey—tell Antonio I can't make it for dinner," he yelled as she slammed the door. He sat there silent for a moment and opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out the envelope and ran his fingers over the name and address. John gave a slight sigh before getting up and grabbing his jacket and heading out.

"Hey—so what is the final word?" said John as he stood there at the entrance to Natalie's room at Llanfair.

She turned to look at him for a moment and then turned back to her business, "They want me to be at Philadelphia in the morning for an interview. I'm kind of busy—can this wait?"

John realized she was hurting and decided to go with Plan B—not that he had much of a Plan A, but he had decided if she didn't want to talk tonight he'd make sure she'd want to talk to him soon enough, "Yeah, that's fine. Just—have a safe trip, ok?"

"Thanks," she said as she turned to see him turn and go down the steps of Llanfair and shortly heard the door shut.

Natalie pulled her car up to the gas pump and grabbed her purse and that's when she noticed them for the first time—two white envelopes on her passenger seat. When she'd left Llanfair she had known her passenger window was down, but hadn't taken any notice of anything left for her. The one with just the world Natalie written on it was the one she picked up first,

Natalie,

What I said in the first letter still holds true, but I don't want you to give up a dream of yours for me. Good luck in the interview tomorrow—and if you get the job, I expect a game of pool when you come back to visit.

John

PS. Remember—avoid roller blades.

Natalie sighed as she realized she couldn't go any further to Philadelphia before reading the second letter, her hands shaking as she opened it,

Natalie,

I swear I've tried to write this letter twenty times since I got your address from Antonio and Jessica. Don't blame them though—I tricked it out of them over a game of pool. You've been in my thoughts a lot lately—and my dreams too. Heck, you've been haunting my dreams so badly it's starting to scare me.

You being in my life has changed me from the life I've been leading for the past five years. You got me to open up more than I was willing to do so—and when I did I realized you are more to me than just a really good friend.

I don't want this to be a popularity act between myself and Paul—if you come back to town and realize he's what you want then that's fine. I know I had my chance with you months ago, and royally screwed it up so it's my loss. About that night—I guess I also want to mention how you seemed to be at such ease with letting Cristian go—I know he was a big part of your life before I came around—another thing I royally screwed up.

I guess I've babbled enough—yeah, me babbling, I bet that's something you never thought you'd see me do. In the end I want to be a big part of your life, Natalie—I think it's easy enough to say that I love you.

John

Natalie looked at the paper before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it in the floorboard of the passenger seat. She froze for a moment before hitting the steering wheel and causing her horn to go off—then realizing everyone at the gas station was now looking at her.

"Ma'am—do you need assistance?" said the fuzzy voice of the attendant over the intercom.

"No, I'm fine," she said as she started her car again and began driving, "Damn it John McBain!"