The Counter-Invasion
By: Jay Winger
Timeline Note: This chapter picks immediately after the last one.
Teaser: The Royal Rumble match is underway with a lot on the line for every side.
Rating: R - for violence and profanity
Disclaimer: All things WWF and WCW are property of WWFE, Inc. All things ECW are property of whomever the frell owns ECW. All things CIW are property of me. The characters of "The Storm" Matthew Skinner, Claire "Rain" Whittaker, Billy Rose, Brad "Brick" Dickerson, the band Cold Steel, et al. are also my property. Please ask before you use them. Viper, Rattler, Soul, Cobra, Python, and all other creations of Boulder are his property and are used with his permission. Lyrics from "Defy You" by Offspring are used without permission.
Previously: As Rose explained Matthew Skinner's CIW history to Rain, The Storm defended his WCW Championship against Booker T. The Storm was highly aggressive and put most of his focus on Booker's shoulder and neck during the course of the match. Rose told Rain that after evolving from jobber "Metalhead Matt" to "The Survivor," Skinner got on Rose's bad side enough that the CIW owner had an evil group called the Hellions -- lead by the Hell's Belles Allura and Desire -- kidnap Skinner and bend him into an obedient monster. The Hellions succeeded in turning Matthew Skinner into the dangerously sadistic and psychotic Agony, who had run roughshod over CIW until his "deal" with the Belles expired, whereupon he came to his senses and returned to himself. In the match, a bloodied Skinner eventually got his momentum back after Booker controlled the match, hitting the Downdraft and then locking on the Necksnapper to secure the win.
Chapter 13: The Rumble
Royal Rumble: January 26
After the WWF Title match (which Triple H won after a bloody confrontation with Kurt Angle -- and which ended thanks to the interference of Stephanie and a cheap lowblow followed by a Pedigree), the ring was cleared and cleaned somewhat.
Howard Finkel stood in the ring, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Royal Rumble match! Here are the rules: in just a few moments, the participants who drew numbers one and two will come down to the ring and the match will begin. Approximately every two minutes thereafter, another contestant will come down and enter the ring. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. The winner of this match wins a guaranteed title-shot at the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania!"
Finkel stepped out of the ring as the lights dimmed. A hiss played on the TitanTron and out walked the bulky form of Python. "The participant who drew #1, representing the Federation, from the London, England, weighing in at 235 pounds... PYTHON!" The fans booed slightly, given Python's heelish track record. The ski-masked wrestler stepped into the ring and ran off the ropes as he waited for his opponent.
Not too long after, his music stopped and was replaced by a sort of techno number. Hugh Morrus walked out, wearing a WCW shirt. "And his opponent, representing the Alliance, weighing 280 pounds... HUGH MORRUS!" Morrus hit the ring and the bell rang to officially start the match and the two minute time-clock.
The two grapplers circled each other before locking up. The larger Morrus pushed Python back toward the ropes, but before he could get to them and push the Venom member out of the ring, Python retaliated by breaking the lockup and raking Hugh across the face. He then pushed Morrus into the corner and tried to get him over the top, but Morrus hooked his arms under the top rope and held on, stretching his body across the ropes in the corner to make it as difficult as possible for Python to eliminate him.
Morrus snapped his thumb into Python's eye, causing him to back off. The former General Rection backed him iinto the opposite corner and now the positions were reversed from just moments before. It soon became clear this was a major stalemate, and that neither man was going to get the true upper hand.
That was solved when, not too long after, music hit and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. came running out. Chavo immediately joined Morrus in trying to get Python out of the ring. The Londoner fought back and managed to get out of the corner, knocking Chavo down with a big right hand, then doing the same to Morrus. The cruiserweight was up first and Python dragged him toward the ropes. Before he could get there, Morrus nailed him in the back with a double axe-handle, then tried to push him up and over. Python leaned back and hooked his arms under the top rope and made himself deadweight as both WCWers tried to eliminate him.
"That's now two Alliance members in the ring, and they're trying to keep the numbers in their favor by eliminating the first man in the ring, Python, who is representing the WWF," Jim Ross reminded the viewers at home.
"The Alliance is playing this smart, J.R.," Paul Heyman said from ringside. "Our wrestlers are working as a unit to try and win this for the Alliance, not for the individual."
"We'll just see if all your guys agree with that philosophy there, Paul," J.R. replied.
Two minutes after Chavo's arrival, the TitanTron lit up. "We... are... ALIVE!" came the standard CIW bumper, and then there was the click of a lighter as a flame lit up the screen slowly. A man slowly walked out on the dimly-lit stage, but the fans could see him taking a long drag on a cigarette. The music of a guitar slowly built to a crescendo, just as the man threw down his cig, causing pyros to explode at the top of the stage. "Now you're playing with FI-I-IRE!" screamed a vocalist as Smoker snarled, posing, smoke issuing forth from between his teeth and from his nostrils.
The fans cheered as Smoker charged down the ramp and into the ring. They still remembered his evening the score earlier that night in Viper's match against Tazz, removing the random element of Tommy Dreamer's involvement. The CIWer immediately pulled Hugh Morrus off of Python and leveled him with a big right hand. Python took over with Chavo and got a running start to try and throw him over the top. He succeeded that much, but the cruiserweight landed on his feet on the apron and stepped back through the ropes, blindsiding the Londoner as he went to help Smoker.
The situation remained in a stalemate until the next wrestler came out. The standard CIW bumper played (the bit from the Offspring), then the opening chords of "Fat Lip" by Sum 41 started playing. The smallish, cruiserweight Nate Starr came out, wearing a CIW T-Shirt and short trunks with yellow trim on the sides. He had brown hair, trimmed short on the left side of his head, and cut long on the right side. He ran down the ramp and into the ring.
Starr ran down and slid into the ring, going over to grab Chavo and give him a back suplex. Smoker went back to work with Hugh Morrus, working in tandem with Python, but neither could seem to get the Laughing Man out of the ring. The two cruiserweights, meanwhile, continued to go at it. They seemed evenly matched, but unable to get the upper-hand on each other.
"We are now almost ten minutes into the Rumble, Paul, and we have yet to see anyone get eliminated," J.R. commented.
"Don't worry, J.R., I'm sure we'll start seeing eliminations any minute now!" Heyman said confidently.
Sure enough, soon the buzzer hit to announce the arrival of the next entrant. Harsh, percussive music hit and Mike Awesome came running out on the ramp. Finkel didn't even have time to announce him before Awesome hit the ring and started going after Smoker and Python. Hugh Morrus and Awesome worked together to try and get Smoker over the top rope, with Python holding his back in pain from a nasty suplex delivered by the Awesome One.
The CIWer fought back by punching Morrus in the face, then raking his fingers across Awesome's eyes. This bought him some breathing room. Meanwhile, Starr and Chavo were still going at it, each one trying to force the other over the top in the corner before reversing positions and starting over. Smoker hit Awesome in the back with a double axe-handle, then took him to the ropes to try and eliminate him. Awesome tried to render himself dead-weight, but the North Carolinian seemed to have the advantage.
Python got back up to be set upon by Morrus again, but the situation was still stagnant. The WWF/CIW Coalition and the Alliance were each tied with three men in the ring. The situation was therefore unbalanced yet again when the buzzer hit and some rock music hit. Justin Credible came running out, divesting himself of ECW T-Shirt on the way. Justin immediately went to help Chavo try to eliminate Nate Starr, who responded to the two-on-one by hunkering down in the corner and covering his head to absorb the blows being rained down on him.
There was still no change in eliminations. Smoker decided to soften Mike Awesome up a little before eliminating him, and gave him a snap suplex to the mat. He started stomping him, then briefly walloped Hugh Morrus when he tried to help his comrade, allowing Python a breather. The buzzer hit again, and music not unlike Mr. Perfect's began to play. Shawn Stasiak came out, yelling and pumping himself up, trying to appear impressive and intimidating. He came running down to the ring, slid under the bottom rope and charged at Smoker. The CIWer, for his part, just sidestepped, grabbed Stasiak's head and shoved, letting the former Meat's momentum carry him straight over the top. The fans laughed and cheered.
"And there's our first elimination!" J.R. crowed. "Shawn Stasiak lasted all of two seconds!"
"A minor setback," Heyman muttered. "That's all, a minor setback."
As the referees converged to tell Stasiak to head to the back, Hugh Morrus managed to slam Python and then began to climb the ropes, apparently looking for the No Laughing Matter moonsault. That's when Python got back up and gave Morrus a shove off the top, sending him crashing to the floor. The fans cheered again; the numbers were equal again.
Python then went over to help Nate Starr, pulling Justin off of him and attempting to pitch him over the top. Mike Awesome tripped up Smoker and tried to eliminate him next. The two continued to fight as Credible gave his trademark superkick to Python's jaw, driving the Londoner over the top and out of the ring.
Now the CIWers were outnumbered three-to-two, and the beating began. Nate Starr was thrown out of the ring by Chavo, leaving Smoker alone against the three Alliance members. He soon got assistance, however, as a familiar tone hit, followed by a female voice: "You think you know me..." Images of the posing Edge & Christian played on the screen as Christian emerged and came running out. He went to help Smoker by pulling Justin off of the pile and hitting his reverse DDT.
Mike Awesome and Chavo continued to work on Smoker, who resisted all attempts to push him over the top rope. Christian worked on Justin and then went to throw him out. Justin grabbed onto the top rope on the way over and tried to use his body weight and Christian's momentum to eliminate the young Canadian. Christian, however, grabbed the top rope as well, so the two dangled right next to each other, neither man touching the floor. Christian kicked at Justin and managed to dislodge him, eliminating him, then climbed back in to help Smoker again.
It was two-on-two again now, but that came to an end shortly after Justin left backstage. "Stand back! There's a Hurricane comin' through!" preceded heroic-sounding music, as The Hurricane, the Alliance's self-proclaimed superhero, appeared at the top of the ramp. Helms spun in place, his arms extended to the sides, then dropped into a crouch, hitting his "hurri-pose" before running down to the ring, pulling off his cape on the way. He pulled Christian off of Chavo and prepared to deliver the Eye of the Hurricane, but as he prepared to swing around, Smoker barreled into him and threw him out of the ring -- but not over the top rope.
With The Hurricane thus dealt with (at least for the moment), Smoker went back to Mike Awesome, who met him with a stiff kick to the midsection. The Rumble was now about twenty minutes old, with a third of the entrants having already come out, and five eliminated. The WWF/CIW Combine was outnumbered again, as Awesome again tried to eliminate Smoker, who -- despite having diminshed lung capacity from his namesake habit -- steadfastly refused to go down without a fight.
Chavo tried to hoist Christian for a brainbuster, but the wily Canadian slipped free to the back, then grabbed the Latino wrestler's arms before turning him around and dropping him face-first to the mat in the Unprettier. As he got back up from the move, he turned to see The Hurricane -- with his cape on -- perched on the top rope. The superhero flew off the top rope in a high plancha (which Paul Heyman mockingly called "the real Windfall") at Christian. He landed flat on the mat as Christian stepped aside. Helms got up, holding his ribs. The seven-time WWF Tag Team Champion grabbed him by the cape, pulled him to the ropes and threw him over the top and to the floor.
As The Hurricane left up the ramp, the TitanTron lit up for the next entrant. "Who betta than Kanyon?" The fans jeered as the ever-grinning self-proclaimed "Alliance MVP," Chris Kanyon, came down to the ring, posing and gesturing to his T-Shirt and his U.S. Title on his waist. He removed these and gave them to a stagehand as he approached the ring. The still-outnumbered Smoker and Christian continued to valiantly fight back, as Kanyon joined Mike Awesome in trying to eliminate the stubborn CIWer.
Chavo came to and went after Christian again, who had been trying to help Smoker. The former Lt. Loco gave him a back suplex, then took him into the corner, where he tried to lift him over the top rope. A thumb to the eye reversed the situation and now Chavo was trying to avoid being eliminated again. On the other side of the ring, Smoker knocked down Kanyon with a right hand, then walloped Awesome in the face with another. The angered Awesome One charged, and Smoker dropped to the mat, pulling down on the top rope as he did so, his foot catching Awesome's ankle and tripping him up and over the top rope.
The countdown timer hit zero again, and the TitanTron lit up green. "BANG!! Yo, it's me, it's me, it's D.D.P." The fans booed heavily as the Jersey native Diamond Dallas Page ran out, dropping his vest and rushing at Smoker. The two stared each other down, each remembering their singles match a few weeks earlier, when the North Carolinian pinned Page, and looked eager to pick it up again. Kanyon recovered from Smoker's sucker punch and grabbed his arms from behind so Page could strike.
Page yelled and charged with a clothesline, but Smoker ducked out of the way, so Kanyon ended up taking the clothesline, which ended up knocking him over the top and to the floor. DDP didn't pause to agonize over eliminating a teammate or apologize to him, but instead promptly spun around to catch Smoker with his discus lariat before the CIWer could strike.
The Chavo-Christian stalemate had continued up until this point, whereupon Page took advantage of Smoker's temporary incapacity to help out young Guerrero. As Christian pummeled Chavo in the corner to try and eliminate him, DDP came up from behind and spun the Canadian around, straight into the Diamond Cutter. The two WCWers took a brief moment to celebrate, then quickly tried to throw Christian out. To prevent that, Smoker got back up and attacked Page with a double axe-handle to the back, which got Page half-way over the top rope. The fans started screaming as it appeared close to DDP's elimination, but Chavo came to the rescue now, grabbing Smoker's face from behind and raking it. The North Carolinian staggered around, and Chavo quickly grabbed him to deliver a DDT.
Soon enough, the countdown timer ended again. The moment the words APA Protection came up on the screen, the fans popped. Soon enough, Bradshaw came running out to the ring and started dishing out right hands, clotheslines, and shoulder blocks like they were going out of style. He wasn't discriminating, either. WWF, CIW, or Alliance, everyone got the same treatment, because after all, the APA were equal opportunity ass-kickers. The fans seemed a bit surprised when Bradshaw attacked Smoker and Christian, until the burly Texan made the traditional "I want the belt" motion at his waist.
Chavo made the always-painful mistake of trying to crossbody Bradshaw, who simply caught him, booted down DDP when he tried to intervene, then flipped Chavo over his head as he fell over backwards in a Fallaway Slam. Smoker pounced on Page as he tried to get back up, while Bradshaw mercifully eliminated the semi-conscious Chavo.
Page was now badly outnumbered, a fact not lost on Jim Ross, who rubbed it in at Heyman, who promised retribution. Soon enough, however, reinforcements arrived for the besieged DDP in the form of Tommy Dreamer. The fans booed as they remembered him from his interference in Viper's match earlier, and apparently Dreamer hadn't forgotten Smoker's involvement either. The ECW mainstay ran to the ring and promptly charged at the North Carolinian, his sheer momentum pushing him into the corner.
The Alliance members were still outnumbered three-to-two (or four-to-two if you count the aggressive Bradshaw as two), and soon the numbers started ganging up on them. Dreamer remained focused on getting revenge on Smoker, while Christian and Bradshaw continued to pound on Dallas Page, who had been in the ring longest for the Alliance.
The next entrant was Lance Storm, who promptly came to the rescue of fellow ECWer Tommy Dreamer by climbing to the top rope on his way into the ring, then springing off in a diving clothesline to Smoker, taking him down. By now, the fact that Smoker had been in the ring longest out of anyone, and it was starting to show. With the numbers for each side even again, the pairing off began again. A stiff dropkick by Lance softened Smoker up even more for the rabid Dreamer, who was unleashing his frustrations on the CIWer.
Lance Storm paired off with Christian as Page continued to get his ass soundly kicked by Bradshaw. After a few moments, however, Bradshaw started to set DDP up for a Clothesline from Hell, but as the Texan came off the ropes, Lance met him with a superkick to the jaw. Dreamer then joined in and helped Lance clothesline him over the top rope. The beer-drinking Texan was understandably ticked off to have been eliminated, but two of the referees patroling the outside converged on him to keep him from re-entering the ring.
As Bradshaw headed up the ramp, the buzzer hit for the next entrant. The lights went dark on the stage and ramp as the masked Soul came out. Bradshaw stopped him on the ramp, then pointed back in the ring. "I don't care what you do, just kick their asses!" Soul just nodded and ran down to the ring, sliding in and coming to aid Christian, whom Lance had started on again.
The serious Canadian turned around straight into Soul's Lights Out spinning heel kick. As this was going on, Tommy Dreamer managed to lift Smoker onto his shoulder and drop him over the top rope to the outside. The fans booed as Smoker was eliminated and as Dreamer celebrated. The referees checked on Smoker, who was slow to get to his feet, but he waved them off and headed up the ramp. As he did so, the fans gave a small cheer as he pulled a (slightly battered) pack of cigarettes (Marlboros) from his pocket and lit up.
Dreamer went over to go after Soul, who ducked under a right hand, went to the back, then promptly nailed the ECWer with the Soulplex. The fans groaned at the move, then cheered as Soul went to eliminate him. The Innovator of Violence, however, was from ECW, and in ECW, it took far more than a simple suplex (albeit one that dropped you on your head) to take someone out. Dreamer fought back, though not as rabidly as he had when fighting Smoker.
The buzzer seemed to almost come too early (though the complete two minutes had indeed gone by). The fans popped as techno-esque music hit and the Whole Fucking Show appeared on the ramp. Rob Van Dam wore his Hardcore Championship on his shoulder, which he pointed to before raising his thumbs in the air and pointing to himself, saying his name in unison with the cheering crowd: "Rob - Van - Dam."
RVD then dropped his belt and ran down to the ring to help out his comrades. Soul broke away from Dreamer to aim a kick at his midsection, but Van Dam caught the kick. He then stepped over Soul's leg with his left, then abruptly spun around to hit the step-over spin kick. Soul went down as the two ECWers laid in the stomps. On the other side of the ring, DDP and Lance Storm beat on Christian a bit more before Lance hit a superkick that sent the other Canadian over the top and out of the Rumble.
Now the numbers were heavily against Soul, who continued to valiantly fight back. All four Alliance members threw him toward the corner and started to move in for the kill. As the enigmatic masked wrestler pulled himself to his feet with the ropes, his eyes fixated on Lance Storm -- the man who had tried to tear his leg off not too long ago. Soul launched himself out of the corner and tackled Lance, brawling with him for a few seconds before Dreamer and Van Dam pulled him off. Dreamer tried to hoist him for a Death Valley Driver, but Soul again escaped and hit a second Soulplex, one that rendered Dreamer nearly unconscious.
As Soul came back to his feet, however, DDP grabbed him and nailed the Diamond Cutter, which served to put him down for a few moments. The foursome continued to stomp on him, enjoying beating him to a pulp.
Then the buzzer hit to signal Soul's salvation. The CIW bumper played before the dirge-like theme of Scion played. The hooded holy man walked out, holding his cross in front of his face, his lips moving in a silent prayer before he dropped it and his robe at the base of the ramp. Scion slid into the ring and promptly grabbed the charging RVD, lifting him up and driving him to the mat in the Fall from Grace.
Page was the next to try an attack, and Scion caught him as he came in, lifting him onto his shoulder, then pivoting and hurling him over the top rope. Lance Storm then attacked with a superkick which staggered the golden-haired warrior, sending him reeling into the corner. By now, Van Dam had somewhat recovered from the Fall from Grace and came to help Lance out, leaving Soul and Dreamer in varying states of consciousness in the middle of the ring. Scion withered for a moment under the combined assault, then blocked a swing from Van Dam to knock him to the mat with a powerful right hand, then do the same to Lance.
Soul came back to his feet and attacked the Canadian from behind. He tripped Lance onto his stomach, then grabbed his leg and twisted it in a half-crab. The fans cheered as the ever-serious ECWer started screaming in pain. In the meantime, Scion and RVD continued to brawl, picking their match from the preceding Smackdown back up.
The buzzer sounded again and generic rock music hit for Mark Jindrak, who ran down to the ring. He lasted only five seconds longer than Shawn Stasiak, managing to land two punches to Scion before the CIWer hit him with a left cross that knocked him over the top rope. Jindrak hung onto the top rope for dear life, trying to pull himself onto the apron, but Scion gave him a quick kick to the head to knock him down to the floor.
Soul eventually released Lance from the half-crab, then stepped around so the Canadian could see him. Without saying anything, Soul started taunting him to get up and attack him. Soon enough, Lance did so, swinging a weak punch which Soul ducked. The masked man went for the Soulplex again, but his victim slipped out and tripped him onto his face. The Canadian went for the Maple Leaf, but Soul scrambled to the ropes and used them to pull himself to his feet. Lance had to step back over Soul's leg to stay on his own feet. He pulled him back out to the middle of the ring, where the WWF loyalist hit an enzuigiri.
Meanwhile, RVD managed to topple Scion with a spinning heel kick, then dashed off the ropes, going into a somersalt before flattening himself on the holy man with a senton in the Rolling Thunder. He got back to his feet and pointed to himself with his thumbs, but as he did so, he exposed his back to Soul, who folded him up with the Soulplex. Scion slowly got to his feet, holding his jaw where RVD's spinning heel kick had caught him. By this point, Dreamer had managed to recover from the two Soulplexes he'd taken, but his first sight upon getting to his feet was Scion's fist.
The buzzer signaled the next arrival, who was Raven. The master of self-pity divested himself of his leather jacket en route to the ring, sliding in to come to Dreamer's aid. A brief double-team commenced (with most of the work being done by the fresher Raven) before Raven signaled for the Raven Effect. He stalled a bit too long, however, as Scion rammed him back into the corner. Dreamer attempted to help out, but Scion deflected his swing, grabbed him by the back of the neck and his belt, then hurled him bodily out of the ring.
Lance Storm came back to his feet and went after Soul, who was continuing to fight with Van Dam. The masked wrestler was thrown at the ropes, his momentum enough to send him over the top, but Soul was ready. He landed on his feet on the apron. Lance saw him and charged, but Soul grabbed the top rope and slingshot his body between Lance's legs. The Canadian's velocity meant he kept going, and since the top rope had been lowered by Soul's manuever, that meant Lance Storm went out to the floor.
Scion brawled with Raven, who was giving as much as he was taking. The two seemed evenly matched, but soon Scion's larger size allowed him to absorb more of the punishment. He trapped Raven in the corner and started blistering his chest with hard knife-edge chops. As the Rumble continued in this fashion, the buzzer hit for the next entrant. "You think you know me..." Edge ran out, removing his jacket and sunglasses en route and went for Van Dam.
The odds were now in the WWF/CIW Combine's favor, as Soul and Edge double-teamed Van Dam, who withered in the corner under their assault. Raven managed to duck a turnbuckle clothesline by Scion, then come off the ropes with his bounce-back lariat to ground the holy man. As Raven got back up from that attack, Edge split off and went after him instead.
All too soon, the next buzzer sounded, followed by the sound of breaking glass. The fans went ballistic as Stone Cold Steve Austin stalked out on the ramp, taking his time as he came to the ring, picking his targets. He threw off his leather vest, came up the steps and between the ropes. Raven was the first person to unfortunately cross his path, and thus he was the first person the Texas Rattlesnake threw over the top rope. Edge turned to thank him, but Austin gave him the same treatment. There was no doubt in anybody's mind that the only thing Stone Cold cared about -- besides his next beer -- was the WWF Championship, and woe to the person who got in his way.
Soul turned around as Austin came toward him and RVD. Austin promptly gave Soul the "Stone Cold salute" before kicking him in the gut and giving him a Stunner. Van Dam got to his feet. Kick and a Stunner for him as well. Scion was up next. Kick and a Stunner. Stone Cold paced in the ring a bit, debating which one to eliminate next. Soul started to stir, so Austin decided on him. He pulled the masked wrestler to his feet, held a middle finger in his face, then tossed him over the top.
The Rumble was now into the last third, with twenty-two of the thirty participants having come out to the ring. Of those twenty-two, only three were in the ring, and only one was from the Alliance. Scion started to get back up, attracting the Rattlesnake's attention. Austin swung at him, but Scion ducked underneath and hit a neckbreaker. This kept the Bionic Redneck down for a little while, buying everyone a little time to breathe.
RVD started to get back up first, necessitating the Act of God's attention. Scion went for him, but Van Dam stopped him in his tracks with a kick to the midsection and a swinging neckbreaker. Mr. Pay-Per-View staggered to the corner, then looked at the prone Scion. The fans cheered as they anticipated what was about to happen. RVD hoisted himself up to the top, turned to face the ring, gauged the distance, looked one way then the other, then sprang out, pumping his arms and stretching out in the Five-Star Frog Splash--
--which missed as Scion rolled out of the way. Van Dam groaned, holding his ribs as he came up, only to get a second Stunner from a recovered Stone Cold. Austin then went after Scion, who managed to hold his own for a few moments. Soon enough, however, Austin whipped Scion off the ropes, swung a clothesline -- which missed -- then caught the holy man on the rebound with a Lou Thesz Press and piston-like right hands.
The buzzer sounded for the next entrant, and the pulse-pounding music of Team Extreme hit. The fans cheered as Matt Hardy came out, running down to the ring before getting knocked onto his back by a Stone Cold lariat. Matt held his nose, only to get a mudhole stomped in him by the angry Texas Rattlesnake. Scion came up behind Austin and gave him a hard back suplex, directing his attentions on him. Scion saw Austin as the biggest wild card in the match -- as well as the biggest obstacle to overcome at the moment -- so his focus went to him.
RVD hadn't moved much after the missed Five-Star and the Stunner, so nobody thought much about him until he hit Austin with a surprise spinning heel kick. He stood over the Bionic Redneck and reminded him of who he was ("Rob - Van - Dam") before Matt Hardy turned him around and kicked him in the midsection for a Twist of Fate. The high-flyer, however, didn't get that far. Van Dam shoved him into the corner, then gave him a shoulder thrust, a second, did a backflip, then delivered a third.
The next entrant was Matt's brother, Jeff Hardy, who threw off his cap on his way to the ring. Jeff went after RVD -- partly because of his brother and partly because of their feud from the previous month -- and managed to stagger him with a front dropkick to the jaw. Scion caught Van Dam and delivered a back suplex to him as well. He faced the two brothers from North Carolina, who stared back at him. Scion bowed his head in respect. The Hardys nodded back to him.
By this point, however, Austin had gotten back to his feet. He attacked Scion from behind and drove him to the mat, then caught Matt's charge and turned it into a throw over the top. Jeff followed suit and was eliminated shortly thereafter. Now it was back to Stone Cold, Scion, and Rob Van Dam again.
Austin went after RVD again, but the Whole F'n Show tripped him up with a sweep kick in the corner. With the Texan down, Van Dam went to the corner, sprang to the middle rope, hopped up enough that his legs were over the top rope, then dropped. His legs bounced off the top, causing him to pivot around into the Split-Legged Moonsault onto Austin's chest.
Scion then got back up and caught Van Dam, looking for the Fall from Grace again. RVD, however, had it scouted by now. He turned it into a hurricanrana, which caused the Act of God to go flying out of the ring under the bottom rope. Van Dam followed, punching Scion a few times before lifting him for a front suplex onto the barricade. He punched him once to keep him down, then went to the apron, turning to face the crowd. RVD pointed to himself with his thumbs as the fans chanted his initials, then sprang off the apron with the Helicopter Spin Kick.
Austin had recovered by this point, and he came out of the ring to grab Van Dam and roll him back into the ring. He then proceeded to stomp a mudhole in RVD's ass and walk it dry. He was so preoccupied with this that he didn't see Scion slide back into the ring behind him. The Act of God gave him another neckbreaker.
Soon enough, the countdown timer started down from ten again. But when it hit six, the timer changed, so the legend Y2J was over it. It hit zero, and a few moments later, pyros exploded as the male singer screamed, "Break the walls DOWN!" The lights on the ramp came back up to reveal Chris Jericho facing the TitanTron. The charismatic Canadian turned around and jacked up the crowd with a few poses and gestures, then ran down to the ring to get involved.
Five entrants were left by now, and now the number of men in the ring was back up to four, with Rob Van Dam still outnumbered. By this point in the match, however, nobody cared about affiliations. All anybody cared about was surviving till the end to lay claim to that Wrestlemania title shot.
Jericho went after RVD, who was summarily thrown over the top rope after a few cursory hits from Jericho. He then went after Austin, who met him head-on after taking Scion down with a back bodydrop. Austin and Y2J traded blows in the middle of the ring, neither man giving an inch. Austin -- despite having gone full-tilt for the last six minutes -- was able to keep up with the Lionheart, who had the advantage of coming in fresh.
Jericho soon got the upperhand with a snap suplex, but by now Scion was back on his feet. The Act of God caught Y2J with a big boot, then an elbow drop. He stomped him a few times, then turned to face Austin, stopping him with a kick to the midsection and a quick DDT. Then Jericho tripped Scion up and started to turn him over for the Walls of Jericho.
By now, however, the next two minutes were up and the buzzer hit. "We-e-ell... well, it's the Big Show!" The fans cheered as the seven-foot-two, five-hundred-pound giant plodded down the ramp, making the "I want the belt" motion as he went. Jericho dropped Scion and backed up as Big Show stepped over the top rope. The Canadian foolishly tried a direct assault, which Show simply blocked with a palm to the face and a shove. Jericho rolled onto his back, then got to his feet carefully. Austin had gotten back up by this point, as had Scion. The three shared a look, then nodded and charged Big Show as one.
It worked for a moment or two before Show simply roared and threw his arms out, knocking all three down. Big Show went after Austin, grabbing him by the throat and looking to chokeslam him over the top and out of the ring. Scion, however, hit Big Show in the back of the knee with a running forearm. This took the giant down to one knee. Jericho and Scion then started kicking him in the head, trying to wear him down. Show growled as he got back to his feet, knocking Y2J down with a right hand, then lifting Scion in a Gorilla Press. He turned to throw him out of the ring, but Austin came up from behind with a low-blow. Show groaned loudly and dropped Scion, who landed on him.
So it continued for the few minutes. The three would launch a two-on-one or three-on-one assault before Show threw them off, grabbed one of them to eliminate him, only to be stopped by one of the other two. The only break in the action was when entrant #26, Billy Kidman, came out. Big Show grabbed him and gave him the chokeslam out of the ring within Kidman's first ten seconds, only marginally longer than Mark Jindrak.
The Big Show, however, was obviously being worn down by the three-on-one strategy. For all of his size and power, he was no match for three men working as a unit. Before long, however, the temporary truce collapsed as Jericho sucker punched Austin and went for the elimination. Scion put a stop to that, hitting a neckbreaker on Jericho, then upbraiding him for breaking the truce. He quickly remembered the reason for that truce as Big Show grabbed him by the throat. Austin stopped that with a shot to the gut, followed by some right hands.
The buzzer hit again, and the aggressive music played along with the legend APA Protection on the screen. The fans popped again as Faarooq came down to the ring, going to assist in the Campaign to Eliminate the Big Show. The added muscle helped for a minute before Big Show got his second wind. The giant dished out right hands and clotheslines before grabbing Scion and giving him a chokeslam in the middle of the ring. Such was the fury of the Big Show at being ganged up on that he completely forgot about the rules of the match, and thus he spent more time brutalizing anyone he laid his eyes on than eliminating them.
Faarooq was the next to get chokeslammed, while Austin and Faarooq worked at trying to evade Big Show's extensive reach. This couldn't go on forever, however, and soon enough Show managed to knock Austin down with a massive short-arm clothesline. Jericho had meanwhile climbed to the top rope and managed to score a missile dropkick that staggered the giant. Jericho tried to use Big Show's own weight against him and went for a flying jalapeño, but Show caught him by the throat and prepared to eliminate him when Faarooq hit a chop-block to take Show down to one knee again.
The buzzer hit for the next entrant, followed by the CIW bumper. Then scratching turntables played. "Watch them flee.. watch them flee..." The song "It's Goin' Down" by the X-Cutioners and Linkin Park's Mike Shinoba. The word MAXIM flashed on the screen along with a stylized MXM logo. A burly black man with a flat-top hair cut came out on the ramp, wearing black-and-red tights with the MXM logo on the back. Hal Maxim crossed his forearms in an X in front of him, then swung his arms back, stooped and charged down the ramp to join in the fray.
With the odds now five-on-one, Big Show was muscled against the ropes and kept there rather hard by Austin, Scion, and Jericho. Maxim and Faarooq backed up, then charged in unison, hitting Show with a double shoulder block that succeeded in finally eliminating the Big Show. The five WWF or CIWers fell back to take a momentary breather before Maxim and Faarooq -- the two freshest men -- started attacking Jericho and Austin.
This started off another round of every-man-for-himself fighting. Maxim worked over Jericho for a while before he traded off with Faarooq and started pounding on Austin. Scion, the man who had been in the ring longest of the five, sat down in the corner, resting his arms on the bottom rope, taking a breather. Before long, however, Faarooq spotted him and came at him, but Scion had recovered enough to fend him off.
The timer counted down for the last time, as J.R. and Heyman speculated on who it could be. "Test. This is a test. Test, test, this is a test..." The fans were quite surprised to see the six-foot-six ex-bodyguard come down to the ring. His silver pants had a pocket on the back, and from this pocket dangled a black T-Shirt of some kind. He glared at the five men in the ring as he climbed over the top rope. J.R. was surprised. "I thought all of the WWF's guys had come out already."
"They have," Heyman said smugly.
The fans, however, were not quite shocked when Test suddenly gave Faarooq a massive big boot to the face, sending the APA member over the top and out of the ring. They assumed he was just eliminating anyone who happened to be in his way to a title shot. This was not completely untrue. When Test abruptly turned and gave Maxim a big boot as well to eliminate him, the fans seemed curious about the shirt in Test's pocket. Test answered their questions when he pulled it out and put it on. It was a WCW T-Shirt.
"Wait a minute!" J.R. protested.
"Ladies and gentlemen at home," Heyman gloated, "I am proud to announce that the Alliance has a new member, and his name is Test!"
Now it was down to the final four: Scion, Stone Cold, Jericho, and Test. Scion had been in the match the longest, and it showed. In spite of that, he managed to duck a boot from Test and hit a neckbreaker again. Jericho came over to work over Test as well. He stomped him a few times, then with Scion's help got him in the corner. Scion pummeled him in the face before Y2J stopped him to rip the WCW shirt from Test's chest. With the skin thus exposed, the two began laying out knife-edge chops.
Before long, Austin got involved again. He pulled Scion out of the huddle and gave him a Stunner again, then helped Jericho work over Test. Finally, the two of them teamed up to throw Test over the top to the floor. Now it was down to the three. Jericho and Austin stared each other down, before Jericho pointed at Scion. He gestured that they should team up to throw Scion out, and then they could fight it out between themselves. Austin nodded, and together they stalked after the Act of God.
After a couple minutes of double-teaming, Austin hoisted Scion to throw him over the top. As he did so, however, Jericho came up behind and grabbed Austin's legs, swinging him up and over as well, so he was eliminated just seconds after Scion. The fans popped as Jericho fell onto his back in exhaustion, then got up enough so the referee could raise his hand.
"Here is the winner of the 2003 Royal Rumble match, 'Y2J' CHRIS JERICHO!" announced Howard Finkel.
Outside the ring, however, Austin's eyes were fixed on Jericho, staring a hole in him. That had obviously pissed the Rattlesnake off, and if there's anything dangerous in the world, it's a pissed-off Texas Rattlesnake.
-more to come-
Next: It's Monday Night Raw. What fallout will there be from the Rumble? And what of the Hellions and The Storm?
If you have any ideas for possible feuds/relationships for any of my characters, drop me a line at jay_winger_2k@hotmail.com.
-=Jay 2K Winger=-
Live and Almost Legal
May 27, 2002
By: Jay Winger
Timeline Note: This chapter picks immediately after the last one.
Teaser: The Royal Rumble match is underway with a lot on the line for every side.
Rating: R - for violence and profanity
Disclaimer: All things WWF and WCW are property of WWFE, Inc. All things ECW are property of whomever the frell owns ECW. All things CIW are property of me. The characters of "The Storm" Matthew Skinner, Claire "Rain" Whittaker, Billy Rose, Brad "Brick" Dickerson, the band Cold Steel, et al. are also my property. Please ask before you use them. Viper, Rattler, Soul, Cobra, Python, and all other creations of Boulder are his property and are used with his permission. Lyrics from "Defy You" by Offspring are used without permission.
Previously: As Rose explained Matthew Skinner's CIW history to Rain, The Storm defended his WCW Championship against Booker T. The Storm was highly aggressive and put most of his focus on Booker's shoulder and neck during the course of the match. Rose told Rain that after evolving from jobber "Metalhead Matt" to "The Survivor," Skinner got on Rose's bad side enough that the CIW owner had an evil group called the Hellions -- lead by the Hell's Belles Allura and Desire -- kidnap Skinner and bend him into an obedient monster. The Hellions succeeded in turning Matthew Skinner into the dangerously sadistic and psychotic Agony, who had run roughshod over CIW until his "deal" with the Belles expired, whereupon he came to his senses and returned to himself. In the match, a bloodied Skinner eventually got his momentum back after Booker controlled the match, hitting the Downdraft and then locking on the Necksnapper to secure the win.
Chapter 13: The Rumble
Royal Rumble: January 26
After the WWF Title match (which Triple H won after a bloody confrontation with Kurt Angle -- and which ended thanks to the interference of Stephanie and a cheap lowblow followed by a Pedigree), the ring was cleared and cleaned somewhat.
Howard Finkel stood in the ring, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Royal Rumble match! Here are the rules: in just a few moments, the participants who drew numbers one and two will come down to the ring and the match will begin. Approximately every two minutes thereafter, another contestant will come down and enter the ring. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. The winner of this match wins a guaranteed title-shot at the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania!"
Finkel stepped out of the ring as the lights dimmed. A hiss played on the TitanTron and out walked the bulky form of Python. "The participant who drew #1, representing the Federation, from the London, England, weighing in at 235 pounds... PYTHON!" The fans booed slightly, given Python's heelish track record. The ski-masked wrestler stepped into the ring and ran off the ropes as he waited for his opponent.
Not too long after, his music stopped and was replaced by a sort of techno number. Hugh Morrus walked out, wearing a WCW shirt. "And his opponent, representing the Alliance, weighing 280 pounds... HUGH MORRUS!" Morrus hit the ring and the bell rang to officially start the match and the two minute time-clock.
The two grapplers circled each other before locking up. The larger Morrus pushed Python back toward the ropes, but before he could get to them and push the Venom member out of the ring, Python retaliated by breaking the lockup and raking Hugh across the face. He then pushed Morrus into the corner and tried to get him over the top, but Morrus hooked his arms under the top rope and held on, stretching his body across the ropes in the corner to make it as difficult as possible for Python to eliminate him.
Morrus snapped his thumb into Python's eye, causing him to back off. The former General Rection backed him iinto the opposite corner and now the positions were reversed from just moments before. It soon became clear this was a major stalemate, and that neither man was going to get the true upper hand.
That was solved when, not too long after, music hit and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. came running out. Chavo immediately joined Morrus in trying to get Python out of the ring. The Londoner fought back and managed to get out of the corner, knocking Chavo down with a big right hand, then doing the same to Morrus. The cruiserweight was up first and Python dragged him toward the ropes. Before he could get there, Morrus nailed him in the back with a double axe-handle, then tried to push him up and over. Python leaned back and hooked his arms under the top rope and made himself deadweight as both WCWers tried to eliminate him.
"That's now two Alliance members in the ring, and they're trying to keep the numbers in their favor by eliminating the first man in the ring, Python, who is representing the WWF," Jim Ross reminded the viewers at home.
"The Alliance is playing this smart, J.R.," Paul Heyman said from ringside. "Our wrestlers are working as a unit to try and win this for the Alliance, not for the individual."
"We'll just see if all your guys agree with that philosophy there, Paul," J.R. replied.
Two minutes after Chavo's arrival, the TitanTron lit up. "We... are... ALIVE!" came the standard CIW bumper, and then there was the click of a lighter as a flame lit up the screen slowly. A man slowly walked out on the dimly-lit stage, but the fans could see him taking a long drag on a cigarette. The music of a guitar slowly built to a crescendo, just as the man threw down his cig, causing pyros to explode at the top of the stage. "Now you're playing with FI-I-IRE!" screamed a vocalist as Smoker snarled, posing, smoke issuing forth from between his teeth and from his nostrils.
The fans cheered as Smoker charged down the ramp and into the ring. They still remembered his evening the score earlier that night in Viper's match against Tazz, removing the random element of Tommy Dreamer's involvement. The CIWer immediately pulled Hugh Morrus off of Python and leveled him with a big right hand. Python took over with Chavo and got a running start to try and throw him over the top. He succeeded that much, but the cruiserweight landed on his feet on the apron and stepped back through the ropes, blindsiding the Londoner as he went to help Smoker.
The situation remained in a stalemate until the next wrestler came out. The standard CIW bumper played (the bit from the Offspring), then the opening chords of "Fat Lip" by Sum 41 started playing. The smallish, cruiserweight Nate Starr came out, wearing a CIW T-Shirt and short trunks with yellow trim on the sides. He had brown hair, trimmed short on the left side of his head, and cut long on the right side. He ran down the ramp and into the ring.
Starr ran down and slid into the ring, going over to grab Chavo and give him a back suplex. Smoker went back to work with Hugh Morrus, working in tandem with Python, but neither could seem to get the Laughing Man out of the ring. The two cruiserweights, meanwhile, continued to go at it. They seemed evenly matched, but unable to get the upper-hand on each other.
"We are now almost ten minutes into the Rumble, Paul, and we have yet to see anyone get eliminated," J.R. commented.
"Don't worry, J.R., I'm sure we'll start seeing eliminations any minute now!" Heyman said confidently.
Sure enough, soon the buzzer hit to announce the arrival of the next entrant. Harsh, percussive music hit and Mike Awesome came running out on the ramp. Finkel didn't even have time to announce him before Awesome hit the ring and started going after Smoker and Python. Hugh Morrus and Awesome worked together to try and get Smoker over the top rope, with Python holding his back in pain from a nasty suplex delivered by the Awesome One.
The CIWer fought back by punching Morrus in the face, then raking his fingers across Awesome's eyes. This bought him some breathing room. Meanwhile, Starr and Chavo were still going at it, each one trying to force the other over the top in the corner before reversing positions and starting over. Smoker hit Awesome in the back with a double axe-handle, then took him to the ropes to try and eliminate him. Awesome tried to render himself dead-weight, but the North Carolinian seemed to have the advantage.
Python got back up to be set upon by Morrus again, but the situation was still stagnant. The WWF/CIW Coalition and the Alliance were each tied with three men in the ring. The situation was therefore unbalanced yet again when the buzzer hit and some rock music hit. Justin Credible came running out, divesting himself of ECW T-Shirt on the way. Justin immediately went to help Chavo try to eliminate Nate Starr, who responded to the two-on-one by hunkering down in the corner and covering his head to absorb the blows being rained down on him.
There was still no change in eliminations. Smoker decided to soften Mike Awesome up a little before eliminating him, and gave him a snap suplex to the mat. He started stomping him, then briefly walloped Hugh Morrus when he tried to help his comrade, allowing Python a breather. The buzzer hit again, and music not unlike Mr. Perfect's began to play. Shawn Stasiak came out, yelling and pumping himself up, trying to appear impressive and intimidating. He came running down to the ring, slid under the bottom rope and charged at Smoker. The CIWer, for his part, just sidestepped, grabbed Stasiak's head and shoved, letting the former Meat's momentum carry him straight over the top. The fans laughed and cheered.
"And there's our first elimination!" J.R. crowed. "Shawn Stasiak lasted all of two seconds!"
"A minor setback," Heyman muttered. "That's all, a minor setback."
As the referees converged to tell Stasiak to head to the back, Hugh Morrus managed to slam Python and then began to climb the ropes, apparently looking for the No Laughing Matter moonsault. That's when Python got back up and gave Morrus a shove off the top, sending him crashing to the floor. The fans cheered again; the numbers were equal again.
Python then went over to help Nate Starr, pulling Justin off of him and attempting to pitch him over the top. Mike Awesome tripped up Smoker and tried to eliminate him next. The two continued to fight as Credible gave his trademark superkick to Python's jaw, driving the Londoner over the top and out of the ring.
Now the CIWers were outnumbered three-to-two, and the beating began. Nate Starr was thrown out of the ring by Chavo, leaving Smoker alone against the three Alliance members. He soon got assistance, however, as a familiar tone hit, followed by a female voice: "You think you know me..." Images of the posing Edge & Christian played on the screen as Christian emerged and came running out. He went to help Smoker by pulling Justin off of the pile and hitting his reverse DDT.
Mike Awesome and Chavo continued to work on Smoker, who resisted all attempts to push him over the top rope. Christian worked on Justin and then went to throw him out. Justin grabbed onto the top rope on the way over and tried to use his body weight and Christian's momentum to eliminate the young Canadian. Christian, however, grabbed the top rope as well, so the two dangled right next to each other, neither man touching the floor. Christian kicked at Justin and managed to dislodge him, eliminating him, then climbed back in to help Smoker again.
It was two-on-two again now, but that came to an end shortly after Justin left backstage. "Stand back! There's a Hurricane comin' through!" preceded heroic-sounding music, as The Hurricane, the Alliance's self-proclaimed superhero, appeared at the top of the ramp. Helms spun in place, his arms extended to the sides, then dropped into a crouch, hitting his "hurri-pose" before running down to the ring, pulling off his cape on the way. He pulled Christian off of Chavo and prepared to deliver the Eye of the Hurricane, but as he prepared to swing around, Smoker barreled into him and threw him out of the ring -- but not over the top rope.
With The Hurricane thus dealt with (at least for the moment), Smoker went back to Mike Awesome, who met him with a stiff kick to the midsection. The Rumble was now about twenty minutes old, with a third of the entrants having already come out, and five eliminated. The WWF/CIW Combine was outnumbered again, as Awesome again tried to eliminate Smoker, who -- despite having diminshed lung capacity from his namesake habit -- steadfastly refused to go down without a fight.
Chavo tried to hoist Christian for a brainbuster, but the wily Canadian slipped free to the back, then grabbed the Latino wrestler's arms before turning him around and dropping him face-first to the mat in the Unprettier. As he got back up from the move, he turned to see The Hurricane -- with his cape on -- perched on the top rope. The superhero flew off the top rope in a high plancha (which Paul Heyman mockingly called "the real Windfall") at Christian. He landed flat on the mat as Christian stepped aside. Helms got up, holding his ribs. The seven-time WWF Tag Team Champion grabbed him by the cape, pulled him to the ropes and threw him over the top and to the floor.
As The Hurricane left up the ramp, the TitanTron lit up for the next entrant. "Who betta than Kanyon?" The fans jeered as the ever-grinning self-proclaimed "Alliance MVP," Chris Kanyon, came down to the ring, posing and gesturing to his T-Shirt and his U.S. Title on his waist. He removed these and gave them to a stagehand as he approached the ring. The still-outnumbered Smoker and Christian continued to valiantly fight back, as Kanyon joined Mike Awesome in trying to eliminate the stubborn CIWer.
Chavo came to and went after Christian again, who had been trying to help Smoker. The former Lt. Loco gave him a back suplex, then took him into the corner, where he tried to lift him over the top rope. A thumb to the eye reversed the situation and now Chavo was trying to avoid being eliminated again. On the other side of the ring, Smoker knocked down Kanyon with a right hand, then walloped Awesome in the face with another. The angered Awesome One charged, and Smoker dropped to the mat, pulling down on the top rope as he did so, his foot catching Awesome's ankle and tripping him up and over the top rope.
The countdown timer hit zero again, and the TitanTron lit up green. "BANG!! Yo, it's me, it's me, it's D.D.P." The fans booed heavily as the Jersey native Diamond Dallas Page ran out, dropping his vest and rushing at Smoker. The two stared each other down, each remembering their singles match a few weeks earlier, when the North Carolinian pinned Page, and looked eager to pick it up again. Kanyon recovered from Smoker's sucker punch and grabbed his arms from behind so Page could strike.
Page yelled and charged with a clothesline, but Smoker ducked out of the way, so Kanyon ended up taking the clothesline, which ended up knocking him over the top and to the floor. DDP didn't pause to agonize over eliminating a teammate or apologize to him, but instead promptly spun around to catch Smoker with his discus lariat before the CIWer could strike.
The Chavo-Christian stalemate had continued up until this point, whereupon Page took advantage of Smoker's temporary incapacity to help out young Guerrero. As Christian pummeled Chavo in the corner to try and eliminate him, DDP came up from behind and spun the Canadian around, straight into the Diamond Cutter. The two WCWers took a brief moment to celebrate, then quickly tried to throw Christian out. To prevent that, Smoker got back up and attacked Page with a double axe-handle to the back, which got Page half-way over the top rope. The fans started screaming as it appeared close to DDP's elimination, but Chavo came to the rescue now, grabbing Smoker's face from behind and raking it. The North Carolinian staggered around, and Chavo quickly grabbed him to deliver a DDT.
Soon enough, the countdown timer ended again. The moment the words APA Protection came up on the screen, the fans popped. Soon enough, Bradshaw came running out to the ring and started dishing out right hands, clotheslines, and shoulder blocks like they were going out of style. He wasn't discriminating, either. WWF, CIW, or Alliance, everyone got the same treatment, because after all, the APA were equal opportunity ass-kickers. The fans seemed a bit surprised when Bradshaw attacked Smoker and Christian, until the burly Texan made the traditional "I want the belt" motion at his waist.
Chavo made the always-painful mistake of trying to crossbody Bradshaw, who simply caught him, booted down DDP when he tried to intervene, then flipped Chavo over his head as he fell over backwards in a Fallaway Slam. Smoker pounced on Page as he tried to get back up, while Bradshaw mercifully eliminated the semi-conscious Chavo.
Page was now badly outnumbered, a fact not lost on Jim Ross, who rubbed it in at Heyman, who promised retribution. Soon enough, however, reinforcements arrived for the besieged DDP in the form of Tommy Dreamer. The fans booed as they remembered him from his interference in Viper's match earlier, and apparently Dreamer hadn't forgotten Smoker's involvement either. The ECW mainstay ran to the ring and promptly charged at the North Carolinian, his sheer momentum pushing him into the corner.
The Alliance members were still outnumbered three-to-two (or four-to-two if you count the aggressive Bradshaw as two), and soon the numbers started ganging up on them. Dreamer remained focused on getting revenge on Smoker, while Christian and Bradshaw continued to pound on Dallas Page, who had been in the ring longest for the Alliance.
The next entrant was Lance Storm, who promptly came to the rescue of fellow ECWer Tommy Dreamer by climbing to the top rope on his way into the ring, then springing off in a diving clothesline to Smoker, taking him down. By now, the fact that Smoker had been in the ring longest out of anyone, and it was starting to show. With the numbers for each side even again, the pairing off began again. A stiff dropkick by Lance softened Smoker up even more for the rabid Dreamer, who was unleashing his frustrations on the CIWer.
Lance Storm paired off with Christian as Page continued to get his ass soundly kicked by Bradshaw. After a few moments, however, Bradshaw started to set DDP up for a Clothesline from Hell, but as the Texan came off the ropes, Lance met him with a superkick to the jaw. Dreamer then joined in and helped Lance clothesline him over the top rope. The beer-drinking Texan was understandably ticked off to have been eliminated, but two of the referees patroling the outside converged on him to keep him from re-entering the ring.
As Bradshaw headed up the ramp, the buzzer hit for the next entrant. The lights went dark on the stage and ramp as the masked Soul came out. Bradshaw stopped him on the ramp, then pointed back in the ring. "I don't care what you do, just kick their asses!" Soul just nodded and ran down to the ring, sliding in and coming to aid Christian, whom Lance had started on again.
The serious Canadian turned around straight into Soul's Lights Out spinning heel kick. As this was going on, Tommy Dreamer managed to lift Smoker onto his shoulder and drop him over the top rope to the outside. The fans booed as Smoker was eliminated and as Dreamer celebrated. The referees checked on Smoker, who was slow to get to his feet, but he waved them off and headed up the ramp. As he did so, the fans gave a small cheer as he pulled a (slightly battered) pack of cigarettes (Marlboros) from his pocket and lit up.
Dreamer went over to go after Soul, who ducked under a right hand, went to the back, then promptly nailed the ECWer with the Soulplex. The fans groaned at the move, then cheered as Soul went to eliminate him. The Innovator of Violence, however, was from ECW, and in ECW, it took far more than a simple suplex (albeit one that dropped you on your head) to take someone out. Dreamer fought back, though not as rabidly as he had when fighting Smoker.
The buzzer seemed to almost come too early (though the complete two minutes had indeed gone by). The fans popped as techno-esque music hit and the Whole Fucking Show appeared on the ramp. Rob Van Dam wore his Hardcore Championship on his shoulder, which he pointed to before raising his thumbs in the air and pointing to himself, saying his name in unison with the cheering crowd: "Rob - Van - Dam."
RVD then dropped his belt and ran down to the ring to help out his comrades. Soul broke away from Dreamer to aim a kick at his midsection, but Van Dam caught the kick. He then stepped over Soul's leg with his left, then abruptly spun around to hit the step-over spin kick. Soul went down as the two ECWers laid in the stomps. On the other side of the ring, DDP and Lance Storm beat on Christian a bit more before Lance hit a superkick that sent the other Canadian over the top and out of the Rumble.
Now the numbers were heavily against Soul, who continued to valiantly fight back. All four Alliance members threw him toward the corner and started to move in for the kill. As the enigmatic masked wrestler pulled himself to his feet with the ropes, his eyes fixated on Lance Storm -- the man who had tried to tear his leg off not too long ago. Soul launched himself out of the corner and tackled Lance, brawling with him for a few seconds before Dreamer and Van Dam pulled him off. Dreamer tried to hoist him for a Death Valley Driver, but Soul again escaped and hit a second Soulplex, one that rendered Dreamer nearly unconscious.
As Soul came back to his feet, however, DDP grabbed him and nailed the Diamond Cutter, which served to put him down for a few moments. The foursome continued to stomp on him, enjoying beating him to a pulp.
Then the buzzer hit to signal Soul's salvation. The CIW bumper played before the dirge-like theme of Scion played. The hooded holy man walked out, holding his cross in front of his face, his lips moving in a silent prayer before he dropped it and his robe at the base of the ramp. Scion slid into the ring and promptly grabbed the charging RVD, lifting him up and driving him to the mat in the Fall from Grace.
Page was the next to try an attack, and Scion caught him as he came in, lifting him onto his shoulder, then pivoting and hurling him over the top rope. Lance Storm then attacked with a superkick which staggered the golden-haired warrior, sending him reeling into the corner. By now, Van Dam had somewhat recovered from the Fall from Grace and came to help Lance out, leaving Soul and Dreamer in varying states of consciousness in the middle of the ring. Scion withered for a moment under the combined assault, then blocked a swing from Van Dam to knock him to the mat with a powerful right hand, then do the same to Lance.
Soul came back to his feet and attacked the Canadian from behind. He tripped Lance onto his stomach, then grabbed his leg and twisted it in a half-crab. The fans cheered as the ever-serious ECWer started screaming in pain. In the meantime, Scion and RVD continued to brawl, picking their match from the preceding Smackdown back up.
The buzzer sounded again and generic rock music hit for Mark Jindrak, who ran down to the ring. He lasted only five seconds longer than Shawn Stasiak, managing to land two punches to Scion before the CIWer hit him with a left cross that knocked him over the top rope. Jindrak hung onto the top rope for dear life, trying to pull himself onto the apron, but Scion gave him a quick kick to the head to knock him down to the floor.
Soul eventually released Lance from the half-crab, then stepped around so the Canadian could see him. Without saying anything, Soul started taunting him to get up and attack him. Soon enough, Lance did so, swinging a weak punch which Soul ducked. The masked man went for the Soulplex again, but his victim slipped out and tripped him onto his face. The Canadian went for the Maple Leaf, but Soul scrambled to the ropes and used them to pull himself to his feet. Lance had to step back over Soul's leg to stay on his own feet. He pulled him back out to the middle of the ring, where the WWF loyalist hit an enzuigiri.
Meanwhile, RVD managed to topple Scion with a spinning heel kick, then dashed off the ropes, going into a somersalt before flattening himself on the holy man with a senton in the Rolling Thunder. He got back to his feet and pointed to himself with his thumbs, but as he did so, he exposed his back to Soul, who folded him up with the Soulplex. Scion slowly got to his feet, holding his jaw where RVD's spinning heel kick had caught him. By this point, Dreamer had managed to recover from the two Soulplexes he'd taken, but his first sight upon getting to his feet was Scion's fist.
The buzzer signaled the next arrival, who was Raven. The master of self-pity divested himself of his leather jacket en route to the ring, sliding in to come to Dreamer's aid. A brief double-team commenced (with most of the work being done by the fresher Raven) before Raven signaled for the Raven Effect. He stalled a bit too long, however, as Scion rammed him back into the corner. Dreamer attempted to help out, but Scion deflected his swing, grabbed him by the back of the neck and his belt, then hurled him bodily out of the ring.
Lance Storm came back to his feet and went after Soul, who was continuing to fight with Van Dam. The masked wrestler was thrown at the ropes, his momentum enough to send him over the top, but Soul was ready. He landed on his feet on the apron. Lance saw him and charged, but Soul grabbed the top rope and slingshot his body between Lance's legs. The Canadian's velocity meant he kept going, and since the top rope had been lowered by Soul's manuever, that meant Lance Storm went out to the floor.
Scion brawled with Raven, who was giving as much as he was taking. The two seemed evenly matched, but soon Scion's larger size allowed him to absorb more of the punishment. He trapped Raven in the corner and started blistering his chest with hard knife-edge chops. As the Rumble continued in this fashion, the buzzer hit for the next entrant. "You think you know me..." Edge ran out, removing his jacket and sunglasses en route and went for Van Dam.
The odds were now in the WWF/CIW Combine's favor, as Soul and Edge double-teamed Van Dam, who withered in the corner under their assault. Raven managed to duck a turnbuckle clothesline by Scion, then come off the ropes with his bounce-back lariat to ground the holy man. As Raven got back up from that attack, Edge split off and went after him instead.
All too soon, the next buzzer sounded, followed by the sound of breaking glass. The fans went ballistic as Stone Cold Steve Austin stalked out on the ramp, taking his time as he came to the ring, picking his targets. He threw off his leather vest, came up the steps and between the ropes. Raven was the first person to unfortunately cross his path, and thus he was the first person the Texas Rattlesnake threw over the top rope. Edge turned to thank him, but Austin gave him the same treatment. There was no doubt in anybody's mind that the only thing Stone Cold cared about -- besides his next beer -- was the WWF Championship, and woe to the person who got in his way.
Soul turned around as Austin came toward him and RVD. Austin promptly gave Soul the "Stone Cold salute" before kicking him in the gut and giving him a Stunner. Van Dam got to his feet. Kick and a Stunner for him as well. Scion was up next. Kick and a Stunner. Stone Cold paced in the ring a bit, debating which one to eliminate next. Soul started to stir, so Austin decided on him. He pulled the masked wrestler to his feet, held a middle finger in his face, then tossed him over the top.
The Rumble was now into the last third, with twenty-two of the thirty participants having come out to the ring. Of those twenty-two, only three were in the ring, and only one was from the Alliance. Scion started to get back up, attracting the Rattlesnake's attention. Austin swung at him, but Scion ducked underneath and hit a neckbreaker. This kept the Bionic Redneck down for a little while, buying everyone a little time to breathe.
RVD started to get back up first, necessitating the Act of God's attention. Scion went for him, but Van Dam stopped him in his tracks with a kick to the midsection and a swinging neckbreaker. Mr. Pay-Per-View staggered to the corner, then looked at the prone Scion. The fans cheered as they anticipated what was about to happen. RVD hoisted himself up to the top, turned to face the ring, gauged the distance, looked one way then the other, then sprang out, pumping his arms and stretching out in the Five-Star Frog Splash--
--which missed as Scion rolled out of the way. Van Dam groaned, holding his ribs as he came up, only to get a second Stunner from a recovered Stone Cold. Austin then went after Scion, who managed to hold his own for a few moments. Soon enough, however, Austin whipped Scion off the ropes, swung a clothesline -- which missed -- then caught the holy man on the rebound with a Lou Thesz Press and piston-like right hands.
The buzzer sounded for the next entrant, and the pulse-pounding music of Team Extreme hit. The fans cheered as Matt Hardy came out, running down to the ring before getting knocked onto his back by a Stone Cold lariat. Matt held his nose, only to get a mudhole stomped in him by the angry Texas Rattlesnake. Scion came up behind Austin and gave him a hard back suplex, directing his attentions on him. Scion saw Austin as the biggest wild card in the match -- as well as the biggest obstacle to overcome at the moment -- so his focus went to him.
RVD hadn't moved much after the missed Five-Star and the Stunner, so nobody thought much about him until he hit Austin with a surprise spinning heel kick. He stood over the Bionic Redneck and reminded him of who he was ("Rob - Van - Dam") before Matt Hardy turned him around and kicked him in the midsection for a Twist of Fate. The high-flyer, however, didn't get that far. Van Dam shoved him into the corner, then gave him a shoulder thrust, a second, did a backflip, then delivered a third.
The next entrant was Matt's brother, Jeff Hardy, who threw off his cap on his way to the ring. Jeff went after RVD -- partly because of his brother and partly because of their feud from the previous month -- and managed to stagger him with a front dropkick to the jaw. Scion caught Van Dam and delivered a back suplex to him as well. He faced the two brothers from North Carolina, who stared back at him. Scion bowed his head in respect. The Hardys nodded back to him.
By this point, however, Austin had gotten back to his feet. He attacked Scion from behind and drove him to the mat, then caught Matt's charge and turned it into a throw over the top. Jeff followed suit and was eliminated shortly thereafter. Now it was back to Stone Cold, Scion, and Rob Van Dam again.
Austin went after RVD again, but the Whole F'n Show tripped him up with a sweep kick in the corner. With the Texan down, Van Dam went to the corner, sprang to the middle rope, hopped up enough that his legs were over the top rope, then dropped. His legs bounced off the top, causing him to pivot around into the Split-Legged Moonsault onto Austin's chest.
Scion then got back up and caught Van Dam, looking for the Fall from Grace again. RVD, however, had it scouted by now. He turned it into a hurricanrana, which caused the Act of God to go flying out of the ring under the bottom rope. Van Dam followed, punching Scion a few times before lifting him for a front suplex onto the barricade. He punched him once to keep him down, then went to the apron, turning to face the crowd. RVD pointed to himself with his thumbs as the fans chanted his initials, then sprang off the apron with the Helicopter Spin Kick.
Austin had recovered by this point, and he came out of the ring to grab Van Dam and roll him back into the ring. He then proceeded to stomp a mudhole in RVD's ass and walk it dry. He was so preoccupied with this that he didn't see Scion slide back into the ring behind him. The Act of God gave him another neckbreaker.
Soon enough, the countdown timer started down from ten again. But when it hit six, the timer changed, so the legend Y2J was over it. It hit zero, and a few moments later, pyros exploded as the male singer screamed, "Break the walls DOWN!" The lights on the ramp came back up to reveal Chris Jericho facing the TitanTron. The charismatic Canadian turned around and jacked up the crowd with a few poses and gestures, then ran down to the ring to get involved.
Five entrants were left by now, and now the number of men in the ring was back up to four, with Rob Van Dam still outnumbered. By this point in the match, however, nobody cared about affiliations. All anybody cared about was surviving till the end to lay claim to that Wrestlemania title shot.
Jericho went after RVD, who was summarily thrown over the top rope after a few cursory hits from Jericho. He then went after Austin, who met him head-on after taking Scion down with a back bodydrop. Austin and Y2J traded blows in the middle of the ring, neither man giving an inch. Austin -- despite having gone full-tilt for the last six minutes -- was able to keep up with the Lionheart, who had the advantage of coming in fresh.
Jericho soon got the upperhand with a snap suplex, but by now Scion was back on his feet. The Act of God caught Y2J with a big boot, then an elbow drop. He stomped him a few times, then turned to face Austin, stopping him with a kick to the midsection and a quick DDT. Then Jericho tripped Scion up and started to turn him over for the Walls of Jericho.
By now, however, the next two minutes were up and the buzzer hit. "We-e-ell... well, it's the Big Show!" The fans cheered as the seven-foot-two, five-hundred-pound giant plodded down the ramp, making the "I want the belt" motion as he went. Jericho dropped Scion and backed up as Big Show stepped over the top rope. The Canadian foolishly tried a direct assault, which Show simply blocked with a palm to the face and a shove. Jericho rolled onto his back, then got to his feet carefully. Austin had gotten back up by this point, as had Scion. The three shared a look, then nodded and charged Big Show as one.
It worked for a moment or two before Show simply roared and threw his arms out, knocking all three down. Big Show went after Austin, grabbing him by the throat and looking to chokeslam him over the top and out of the ring. Scion, however, hit Big Show in the back of the knee with a running forearm. This took the giant down to one knee. Jericho and Scion then started kicking him in the head, trying to wear him down. Show growled as he got back to his feet, knocking Y2J down with a right hand, then lifting Scion in a Gorilla Press. He turned to throw him out of the ring, but Austin came up from behind with a low-blow. Show groaned loudly and dropped Scion, who landed on him.
So it continued for the few minutes. The three would launch a two-on-one or three-on-one assault before Show threw them off, grabbed one of them to eliminate him, only to be stopped by one of the other two. The only break in the action was when entrant #26, Billy Kidman, came out. Big Show grabbed him and gave him the chokeslam out of the ring within Kidman's first ten seconds, only marginally longer than Mark Jindrak.
The Big Show, however, was obviously being worn down by the three-on-one strategy. For all of his size and power, he was no match for three men working as a unit. Before long, however, the temporary truce collapsed as Jericho sucker punched Austin and went for the elimination. Scion put a stop to that, hitting a neckbreaker on Jericho, then upbraiding him for breaking the truce. He quickly remembered the reason for that truce as Big Show grabbed him by the throat. Austin stopped that with a shot to the gut, followed by some right hands.
The buzzer hit again, and the aggressive music played along with the legend APA Protection on the screen. The fans popped again as Faarooq came down to the ring, going to assist in the Campaign to Eliminate the Big Show. The added muscle helped for a minute before Big Show got his second wind. The giant dished out right hands and clotheslines before grabbing Scion and giving him a chokeslam in the middle of the ring. Such was the fury of the Big Show at being ganged up on that he completely forgot about the rules of the match, and thus he spent more time brutalizing anyone he laid his eyes on than eliminating them.
Faarooq was the next to get chokeslammed, while Austin and Faarooq worked at trying to evade Big Show's extensive reach. This couldn't go on forever, however, and soon enough Show managed to knock Austin down with a massive short-arm clothesline. Jericho had meanwhile climbed to the top rope and managed to score a missile dropkick that staggered the giant. Jericho tried to use Big Show's own weight against him and went for a flying jalapeño, but Show caught him by the throat and prepared to eliminate him when Faarooq hit a chop-block to take Show down to one knee again.
The buzzer hit for the next entrant, followed by the CIW bumper. Then scratching turntables played. "Watch them flee.. watch them flee..." The song "It's Goin' Down" by the X-Cutioners and Linkin Park's Mike Shinoba. The word MAXIM flashed on the screen along with a stylized MXM logo. A burly black man with a flat-top hair cut came out on the ramp, wearing black-and-red tights with the MXM logo on the back. Hal Maxim crossed his forearms in an X in front of him, then swung his arms back, stooped and charged down the ramp to join in the fray.
With the odds now five-on-one, Big Show was muscled against the ropes and kept there rather hard by Austin, Scion, and Jericho. Maxim and Faarooq backed up, then charged in unison, hitting Show with a double shoulder block that succeeded in finally eliminating the Big Show. The five WWF or CIWers fell back to take a momentary breather before Maxim and Faarooq -- the two freshest men -- started attacking Jericho and Austin.
This started off another round of every-man-for-himself fighting. Maxim worked over Jericho for a while before he traded off with Faarooq and started pounding on Austin. Scion, the man who had been in the ring longest of the five, sat down in the corner, resting his arms on the bottom rope, taking a breather. Before long, however, Faarooq spotted him and came at him, but Scion had recovered enough to fend him off.
The timer counted down for the last time, as J.R. and Heyman speculated on who it could be. "Test. This is a test. Test, test, this is a test..." The fans were quite surprised to see the six-foot-six ex-bodyguard come down to the ring. His silver pants had a pocket on the back, and from this pocket dangled a black T-Shirt of some kind. He glared at the five men in the ring as he climbed over the top rope. J.R. was surprised. "I thought all of the WWF's guys had come out already."
"They have," Heyman said smugly.
The fans, however, were not quite shocked when Test suddenly gave Faarooq a massive big boot to the face, sending the APA member over the top and out of the ring. They assumed he was just eliminating anyone who happened to be in his way to a title shot. This was not completely untrue. When Test abruptly turned and gave Maxim a big boot as well to eliminate him, the fans seemed curious about the shirt in Test's pocket. Test answered their questions when he pulled it out and put it on. It was a WCW T-Shirt.
"Wait a minute!" J.R. protested.
"Ladies and gentlemen at home," Heyman gloated, "I am proud to announce that the Alliance has a new member, and his name is Test!"
Now it was down to the final four: Scion, Stone Cold, Jericho, and Test. Scion had been in the match the longest, and it showed. In spite of that, he managed to duck a boot from Test and hit a neckbreaker again. Jericho came over to work over Test as well. He stomped him a few times, then with Scion's help got him in the corner. Scion pummeled him in the face before Y2J stopped him to rip the WCW shirt from Test's chest. With the skin thus exposed, the two began laying out knife-edge chops.
Before long, Austin got involved again. He pulled Scion out of the huddle and gave him a Stunner again, then helped Jericho work over Test. Finally, the two of them teamed up to throw Test over the top to the floor. Now it was down to the three. Jericho and Austin stared each other down, before Jericho pointed at Scion. He gestured that they should team up to throw Scion out, and then they could fight it out between themselves. Austin nodded, and together they stalked after the Act of God.
After a couple minutes of double-teaming, Austin hoisted Scion to throw him over the top. As he did so, however, Jericho came up behind and grabbed Austin's legs, swinging him up and over as well, so he was eliminated just seconds after Scion. The fans popped as Jericho fell onto his back in exhaustion, then got up enough so the referee could raise his hand.
"Here is the winner of the 2003 Royal Rumble match, 'Y2J' CHRIS JERICHO!" announced Howard Finkel.
Outside the ring, however, Austin's eyes were fixed on Jericho, staring a hole in him. That had obviously pissed the Rattlesnake off, and if there's anything dangerous in the world, it's a pissed-off Texas Rattlesnake.
-more to come-
Next: It's Monday Night Raw. What fallout will there be from the Rumble? And what of the Hellions and The Storm?
If you have any ideas for possible feuds/relationships for any of my characters, drop me a line at jay_winger_2k@hotmail.com.
-=Jay 2K Winger=-
Live and Almost Legal
May 27, 2002