Title: And Forever Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter Warnings: Male x Male Summary: James returns to the land of the living only to find that his only son disapproves of his relationship with Severus
Disclaimers: Not mine
Warnings: Male x male
I have you, a lover and a friend. You are everything to me. You are the sun, the air I breathe. Without you, life wouldn't be the same. Please don't ever go away and if you do, don't forget to take me with you -Basia "Reward"
Chapter Two
"Sev, please! I don't think it's a good idea to do this." James protested as Severus continued to drag him by his arm towards the Gryffindor tower. His pleas were met with the stony silence that James associated with Severus when he was in one of his determined moods. James sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Once his lover's mind was set, nothing could sway him. A wicked smile highlighted James's youthful, exuberant visage. Well, almost nothing but this was hardly the time or place to indulge in orchestral maneuvers in the dark. Instead, the young man quelled the warring emotions currently knotting his entrails, focused solely on the scene that was about to unfold.
The Fat Lady narrowed her eyes at the duo standing before her portrait. She loathed Severus Snape yet, there was a familiar aura about the handsome man clutching the snarky Potions professor's body almost desperately. They were obviously lovers from the position of their bodies. Strange, she thought, she recognized him. Unable to place the face with a name, she said imperiously, "Password?" "Incidium." The portrait opened and James felt he wanted to fall through the floor. Severus gently added his support, knowing the turmoil this was wreaking on James's psyche. James hesitantly followed Severus into the Common Room, darting glances at the recognizable room. "James, you have nothing to be afraid of. I promise that if it's too difficult for you to tolerate, we'll leave, no questions asked." Severus smiled his rare, quiet smile, squeezing James's hand tenderly.
"Thank you. I should be fine, as long as you're here with me." James returned the grin albeit more subdued. The pair ascended the staircase leading to the seventh year dormitories. With every step, James's heart pummeled louder in his chest. There was no turning back now. Pausing in front of the door leading to his son, James took a deep breath. "Severus, ki-" James needn't ask as Severus's lips descended upon his own, claiming them possessively.
James reluctantly withdrew from the searing embrace. It was time. Taking control, James knocked on the door, replacing the cowl and hugging his robes close to his body. The door swung open and James was forced to shush his gasp. An almost exact replica of himself stood before him, all save the piercing emerald-green eyes that belonged to Lilly. The same haphazard black hair that couldn't be tamed, the same bone structures, the same colored skin… It was practically frightening. He peered inside, catching a glimpse of a couple on one of the beds, the only others inside.
"Professor Snape," Harry politely greeted Severus, "What brings you to the Gryffindor Tower? I know that I'm passing your class and I haven't been disobedient enough to receive a detention." James was taken aback by how fake Harry's tone was and how guarded his eyes were towards Severus. Severus hadn't been exaggerating. Harry truly hated him. James frowned. Harry would never accept their relationship and it was his son's approval that James wanted the most.
Severus snidely smirked. "Hn, your charming personality will never change, will it? You'll always be the same, even in front of my special guest." James's eyes widened as Severus prodded his back, not liking the sly twinkle in his lover's dark eyes. "Harry, I'd like you to meet someone, someone you've been dieing to meet for your entire life, especially these last seven years."
James cursed Severus fluently in seven different languages as his words sparked an interest in the other two occupants of Harry's room. James nearly screamed with horror. Oh, to make matters worse, the couple had to be his only best friends. They appeared so happy and yet, so sad. Sirius hadn't changed a bit since their boyhood days. Laughing light blue eyes and long, sable tresses that hung nearly to his slender waist. James had to smile. At least Sirius seemed to be the same. James's attentions turned towards the other man. Remus. Beautiful to a fault though entirely unaware of it. Honeyed strands were pulled into a sloppy ponytail, bangs nearly hiding the glowing amber eyes from view. Small and petite, Remus balanced Sirius perfectly. James wasn't too surprised they were staring at him like a circus freak.
"What do you mean, Snape?" Sirius gritted through clenched teeth. James chuckled, arising more interest to himself. They still got on each other's last nerves. It was a climatic battle that had started on the first day they'd entered first year together. Sirius's burning gaze was directed at James. "Who the hell are you?"
Severus sneered. "Why don't you show them yourself, James?"
Three gasps greeted Severus's announcement. James threw the cowl of his robe off, meeting the shocked looks of his friends and son. Silence filled the room, the trio disbelieving that the attractive young man standing before them was in reality the supposed long-since-been-deceased James Potter. "What kind of sick joke is this?!" Sirius screeched, breaking the quiet, voicing Harry and Remus's sentiments. "You get your jollies from hurting us, Snape?" Sirius hissed. "Where'd you find him, eh? One of your fuck toys that you imagine to be James? Thought you'd bring him here to-"
"STOP IT!" James yelled, hazel eyes glinting ferally. "Sirius shut your mouth before you piss me off! You have no right to speak to Severus like that. He only brought me here as a gift to Harry so he could know his father." Tears began to fall down James's cheeks. "You should be thanking him. I was more than content to live my existence without you ever knowing that I'm alive but I am. It's me Sirius. Please, believe me. I'm so tired of it all, I need you and Remus and I especially need you Harry."
"My gods," Remus breathed, "It is you." The werewolf approached his old friend, shaking his head. Peals of laughter bubbled from Remus, tears coursing freely down his face. He threw his arms around James, embracing him tightly. "I never expected in my wildest dreams I'd ever see you again but it really is you. You smell the same and you definitely look the same. How did it happen? Why are you alive?"
Sirius giggled, throwing himself into the hold. "Who cares about that Remmy? He's here! Just when I thought it couldn't get better, it does." Harry stayed to the side, feeling awkward, angry, and betrayed all at once. He had to admit, this wasn't exactly how he'd expected to feel. He'd dreamt of meeting his father but it was always full of so much love; but with a man that was twice his age, not four years older than himself. He was a little perturbed about it. How could he be a son to James when they were so close in age?
Severus growled. "If you don't mind, James has just returned to the land of the living today. I think it's in your best interests if you quit crushing him." Remus and Sirius obeyed, not realizing that James was almost choking to death. "Thank you. James, do you want me to stay or go?"
"Answer that for yourself, moron." James rolled his eyes. "The only reason I agreed to do this was because of your constant nagging. You're worse than a wife." James smirked. "You can be the wife, if you want."
Sirius did a full-body shiver. "Ugh, James, don't do that! It's bad enough that you two seem to have made up but to bring your sexual life in front of us, icky." Sirius glanced at the stone-faced Harry. "Aren't you even going to say hello to your father? You've wanted to meet him for a long time. Here's your chance. What, are you shy?"
Harry shook his head, not able to even look at his father. "I can't believe this. You're OKAY with the fact that my father is flirting with Severus Snape?! That, I assume, they're in a relationship?! What the hell is the matter with you two?! Don't tell me you're fine with it?!"
"Harry, calm down," Remus said beseechingly, glancing from Severus to James. One nearly boiling over with rage while the other looked ready to cry. "They've been together since they were younger than you."
"WHAT?!" Harry bellowed, face turning red from embarrassment, extreme fury and revulsion. "I thought my father loved my mother but I was wrong. He was too busy fucking Severus Snape to even give a damn about her. All I've been told, all I've believed has been a load of bullshit. He didn't love her." Harry shook his head. "My father's a fag," he spat disgustingly.
James was still. He didn't move, he could barely think straight and the only sounds reaching his ears was his heart pounding furiously. This wasn't the homecoming he'd imagined. He had hoped that Harry would accept him as his father but not now. It was clear that love was the furthest from what Harry was feeling. To make it worse, Harry was right. He hadn't loved Lilly. It was a relationship based on lies. Lilly had believed that James had loved her but every night, James would apparate to his and Severus's secluded cabin in Sweden where he'd lose himself in the sensations of being with the one he truly loved and desired.
Sirius beat Severus to berating Harry. "Nice choice of words, Harry. A fag, huh? It never occurred to you that Remus and I are gay? You never paid any attention to us when we were alone or even in your presence? Did the touches not mean anything to you? What, thought they were innocent friendship pats? I'd thought you were more observant, but you're the only one hasn't seen that Remus and I are together and have been since we were eleven. You're not very accepting. It's the Muggle blood in you. Until you becoming a little more tolerant, stay away from me." Sirius turned on his heel, stalking from the room. Remus offered a fleeting glare at Harry and an apologetic glance at James before following his infuriated lover.
Harry's jaw unclenched and clenched rapidly. He'd just lost the closest people he'd ever known as to being his family. He couldn't accept it, that they were gay. It was revolting. To think, he'd let them near him. Yet, why did he feel so guilty? Why couldn't he accept their sexuality with ease like so many other wizards did? The lost expression on his father's face was enough to cause him to weep but he'd made a promise to himself that no one would ever see him cry. Not even his friends or family.
"I'm warning you, don't come near him." Severus placed his arm around James's shoulders, leading him towards the door. "Oh, and Potter, I honestly hope that you change your mind or you've just lost half of your friends."
Harry watched them go, brows furrowed. "Lose half of my friends?" he murmured, not exactly sure he liked what that implied. The youth sank down onto his bed, taking out the tattered photo album he'd had since first year. His mother and father. How many more lies were told to him? The fairytale childhood he'd imagined suddenly crumbled before him. It wasn't a fairytale, it was a nightmare.
"James, are you alright?" Severus inquired as the couple made their way towards Severus's chambers. James didn't respond, he kept his head bowed, eyes listless. "Damnit James, don't bottle yourself up. I know how you get when you act like this and eventually, you'll just become so full of pent of emotions that you'll eventually collapse from the stress. I know you James, don't forget that. Harry will come around soon enough. You just have to be patient. He's as headstrong as you are. You have to remember, he was raised by Muggles and his Muggles most definitely have a close-minded view of the world."
James smiled wanly, linking their hands together. "You're right. You always are. That's what I hate most about you." James sighed, moving closer to Severus. "I just wish he wouldn't have said it so….so….nauseatingly. It makes me feel…ashamed of being gay. Oh, don't pout. I'm not ashamed of you. I love you. It's just, if my own son can't consent to his father's sexuality then how are we ever supposed to get along?"
"Then, it wasn't meant to be, now was it?" Severus spoke the password to his rooms, glad that one of the house elves had lighted the fire. "Come on, sit down and I'll have the elves bring us food." He motioned for James to be seated on the plush, velour couch in front of the blazing hearth. He disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving James alone with his thoughts.
James removed his robes, sickened by the mere thought of that fateful night when he'd been imprisoned by the Death Eater's. "Sev? Do you have an clothes I can wear? Sev? Where are you?" James stood, ignoring that he was nude. "This isn't funny. You know I can't stand it when you play your games. Look, I'm naked and if you want to ravish me come right ahead and do it."
"Oh, agreeing so quickly, are you?" Severus whispered huskily in James's ear. "So unlike you to do that. You used to make our little games go on for quite sometime. Don't you remember?"
"Who wouldn't?" James said, cocking one brow and regarding Severus with interest. "Muggle clothes? What the hell's wrong with you?" He had to come clean; Severus was very attractive in the tight, black, leather pants leaving nothing to the imagination and an even more form-molding black sweater. "If I wasn't so famished and fatigued, I'd jump your bones."
"And mess my clothes? You wouldn't dare."
"Finicky as ever, aren't you?" James snorted. "Why are you dressed like that? Last time I checked, you hate Muggles." Severus thrusted a bundle into James's hands. "Clothes for me? Alright, this is becoming spooky. What's your grand plan?"
Severus kept his grin to himself, allowing himself leisure time to explore the suppleness of his lover's body before answering. "The house elves are on break due to Voldemort's defeat so I've decided we're going out to eat. Hmm, you know, let's stay in and have sex all night instead."
"I don't think so. I'm starving."
"I'm starving as well but for something a little more…erotic." Severus paused James's motions to pull the shirt over his head. "It's been over twenty years James, since I last had sex. I'm an old man. You're still in your peak. I'm positive you can keep your own with me."
"No," James said harshly, roughly moving Severus's hold on him. "I don't want to have sex, okay? I might not ever feel like having sex again and if you pressure me, I swear I'll leave you."
Severus was taken aback by the ferocity in James's voice and the warning gleam in his eyes. "You definitely know how to harsh a bloke's boner. You're letting what Harry said affect you, aren't you? You really are ashamed of us."
"I'm not. I wouldn't lie about that." James finished dressing, feeling uncomfortable. "It's been a while for me too. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not used to being in a body. I'm trying to get used to this again. It's almost like learning how to walk. I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"We should be going." Severus left his chambers hastily.
"Oh Sev." James shoved his hands in his pockets and depressingly followed Severus, surmising that this wasn't going to be the last argument they'd have. If anything, it was more than likely going to get worse as time rolled by. He loved Severus and he knew if he had to choose between Severus or Harry, it would be Severus. Paternal love is completely different from the love of soul mates. James just didn't know where Severus's mindset was. To satisfy twenty years of longing or to satisfy twenty years of loneliness?
Leave me a review and tell me if I've improved or gotten worse in my long absence. Oh, is it just me or am I being even more perverted? slaps self James and Severus just got together and Sev already wants to do the horizontal tango! . Grrrrr.