Title: Damn, I Can't Think of a Title...
Author: Elf Asato
Written: 8/24
Summary: 83, 95. Hey, everyone's entitled to write Crack!Fic once in a while!
Disclaimer: ...I don't even want to claim ownership to this fic...
Notes: By the time you finish reading this, you'll probably have asked yourself, "WHY? OH GOD WHY?" at least once. I know I did...
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Damn, I Can't Think of a Title...
By Elf Asato
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When he wasn't given the option of sleeping alone, Sanzo preferred to room with Hakkai. I mean, who wouldn't? The man was gorgeous, polite, gorgeous, respectful, gorgeous, intelligent, gorgeous...
Needless to say, Sanzo liked him for his mind.
And, of course, it goes without saying that every time Sanzo caught Hakkai alone, he did not have the urge to do something very unholy to him. Honestly. A priest of his rank would never allow his mind to be tainted by such impure thoughts.
Which is why, when awakened by a sultry Hakkai straddling him in bed at night, Sanzo did not take advantage of such an opportunity.
"I've seen the way you look at me," Hakkai muttered as his tongue traced along the blond's ear, "so I know what you really want. Sanzo, would it surprise you to know that I want the same thing, too?"
Because Sanzo was a decent, honorable, and very straight man who felt none of those desires whatsoever (and he liked Hakkai for his mind), he did not take advantage of such a wonton offer and politely turned Hakkai away after a brief sermon of how his body was a temple and all that...
...Oh please.
Sanzo would have had his way with him, and then some, if it hadn't been for one thing...one important detail...
Who'd be on top?
"You're most like a woman," Sanzo argued. "You cook, clean, nag, and plus, I'm the leader."
"If you want to base it on that, then," Hakkai retorted, "you wear a dress" ("it's a robe, dammit!") "and tiara, and not to mention I'm taller than you."
At which point Sanzo promptly told Hakkai to shut the hell up and be his uke.
Well, that didn't sit well with Hakkai, who decided to just go at it alone and save the argument for another time.
Hey, that was cool with Sanzo, too...
They didn't get around to having that conversation again until the next time they wanted to have sex, and then, as they, lustful and heavy-breathed, decided to forgo penetration and just go down on one another, such a conversation was deemed to be very inopportune at the moment.
And so this went on for quite some time until Sanzo proposed, "If you prove that you can, I'll let you fuck me."
It was Hakkai's opinion that this offer was very pretentious, so he fucked him in spite of it.
Like Sanzo really minded being dominated by such a gorgeous man anyway...
...Not that Sanzo liked Hakkai for his body or anything... It was his mind. Really.
Honest, I swear to it.
...Hey look, an omake...
Omake
Amidst the background sounds of Sanzo and Hakkai having noisy sex (it was only noisy because Hakuryuu wanted in on the action - oh god why did I write that?), Goku and Gojyo sat, eating soba.
"Hey, I bet I could seme you," Goku said randomly.
"I'd like to see you try," answered Gojyo in a cliche sort of way.
"...Maybe the author'll write it later."
...What?
The End...I Think
Author: Elf Asato
Written: 8/24
Summary: 83, 95. Hey, everyone's entitled to write Crack!Fic once in a while!
Disclaimer: ...I don't even want to claim ownership to this fic...
Notes: By the time you finish reading this, you'll probably have asked yourself, "WHY? OH GOD WHY?" at least once. I know I did...
Damn, I Can't Think of a Title...
By Elf Asato
=============
When he wasn't given the option of sleeping alone, Sanzo preferred to room with Hakkai. I mean, who wouldn't? The man was gorgeous, polite, gorgeous, respectful, gorgeous, intelligent, gorgeous...
Needless to say, Sanzo liked him for his mind.
And, of course, it goes without saying that every time Sanzo caught Hakkai alone, he did not have the urge to do something very unholy to him. Honestly. A priest of his rank would never allow his mind to be tainted by such impure thoughts.
Which is why, when awakened by a sultry Hakkai straddling him in bed at night, Sanzo did not take advantage of such an opportunity.
"I've seen the way you look at me," Hakkai muttered as his tongue traced along the blond's ear, "so I know what you really want. Sanzo, would it surprise you to know that I want the same thing, too?"
Because Sanzo was a decent, honorable, and very straight man who felt none of those desires whatsoever (and he liked Hakkai for his mind), he did not take advantage of such a wonton offer and politely turned Hakkai away after a brief sermon of how his body was a temple and all that...
...Oh please.
Sanzo would have had his way with him, and then some, if it hadn't been for one thing...one important detail...
Who'd be on top?
"You're most like a woman," Sanzo argued. "You cook, clean, nag, and plus, I'm the leader."
"If you want to base it on that, then," Hakkai retorted, "you wear a dress" ("it's a robe, dammit!") "and tiara, and not to mention I'm taller than you."
At which point Sanzo promptly told Hakkai to shut the hell up and be his uke.
Well, that didn't sit well with Hakkai, who decided to just go at it alone and save the argument for another time.
Hey, that was cool with Sanzo, too...
They didn't get around to having that conversation again until the next time they wanted to have sex, and then, as they, lustful and heavy-breathed, decided to forgo penetration and just go down on one another, such a conversation was deemed to be very inopportune at the moment.
And so this went on for quite some time until Sanzo proposed, "If you prove that you can, I'll let you fuck me."
It was Hakkai's opinion that this offer was very pretentious, so he fucked him in spite of it.
Like Sanzo really minded being dominated by such a gorgeous man anyway...
...Not that Sanzo liked Hakkai for his body or anything... It was his mind. Really.
Honest, I swear to it.
...Hey look, an omake...
Omake
Amidst the background sounds of Sanzo and Hakkai having noisy sex (it was only noisy because Hakuryuu wanted in on the action - oh god why did I write that?), Goku and Gojyo sat, eating soba.
"Hey, I bet I could seme you," Goku said randomly.
"I'd like to see you try," answered Gojyo in a cliche sort of way.
"...Maybe the author'll write it later."
...What?