Authors Note: Hokay, I think I went a bit crazy with this chapter. I swear, this is not where I expected it to go! But, Ghost seems to like it so whatever.

Disclaimer: Ghost and I do not own the Eds, Dammit! Stop calling me!!!!

Rated R for sexual situations, violence, swearing, and SLASH!!!!

To Wish, Perchance To Ed

Chapter Four

by Mysticlynx

"Damn Ed!" Eddy growled as he began filling up the breasts, er, water balloons.

It had taken him forever to get the sheet back up for the tent. Thankfully, there were no holes in it, but that still didn't make him any less cranky.

CRASH!

"ED! Put down the sheet before I come over there and throttle you!" Ed's laughter didn't do much to soothe Eddy's temper. "THAT'S IT! You're gonna be wearing that sheet on your head!"

KERSPLASH!

Eddy stood in shock as the whole front of his shirt was soaked in water. How could he forget about the water balloon?! He shivered as his shirt clung uncomfortably to his form.

The cold water did manage to calm his temper, though.

"Ed." He began slowly, as he pulled the annoying piece of elastic off the faucet. "Can you put the tent back up without wreckin' anything?"

Ed turned towards Eddy with the sheet still covering his face. "Aye, Aye, Sir Eddy!" He gave an odd hand motion through the sheets which Eddy assumed was another salute. He ambled off toward the tent, tripping over the sheet a couple times.

Eddy groaned as he noticed the mud stains on the sheet. If his mother didn't yell at him for that, Double D would be sure to nag about it.

Double D... His cheeks flushed as he remembered what happened in his parents bedroom only moments ago. He doubted Double D would bring it up, being as shy as he was. But, that was a good thing! Everything that had happened had only been a weird side effect to the dream he had! It was meaningless, right?!

Eddy shook his head when he realized he was trying to convince himself of something obvious. It was just a dream and that was that. Edd would forget about what happened, they've been through weirder times. Like, when Kevin forced him to kiss Double D so he wouldn't reveal his embarrassing middle name. They never spoke of that again!

Eddy reached into the bag of water balloons and unconsciously picked out two green ones. The filling balloon reminded Eddy of Double D's ever widening eyes as he kissed his lips. So soft...So sweet...

Eddy roughly shook his head as he finished filling the balloon. 'Perfect size.' He thought to himself. As he filled the second one, Eddy decided that he was really hard-up for some lovin' if he was fantasizing about Double D's lips. (Which he'd never admitted was his first and only kiss.) Not to mention dreaming of him. God, I need a girlfriend.

He filled up the other balloon and tied it, deciding to drop the subject. They were doing a scam! Now was not the time to be worrying about his hormones. He walked up to his house and unceremoniously kicked the door open. "Hey Double D! Where are ya?"

"In the facilities, Eddy!"

Eddy rolled his eyes and wondered why he couldn't say 'toilet' like the rest of the world. He walked to the bathroom and tried the door, only to find it locked. "Well, come out! I have your...um...boobs ready!"

The door opened a crack and Double D held his hands out. "Okay, hand them to me!"

Eddy raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need help puttin' them on?" Did he just say that?

"NO!" Double D said, in a slightly panicked voice. "No! I think I can do it myself!"

"Okaaay. Here." He placed the balloons in Double D's hand. "But, don't bitch at me if you pop one." He chuckled, amused by the idea of Sockhead popping a boob.

Another loud crash was heard.

Eddy cursed. "I'll be outside, come out when you're ready." He stalked off, grumbling about never leaving Ed alone.

Double D sighed in relief as he heard the tell-tale sound of Eddy's yelling outside. He stared in the mirror, face still flustered. He had been splashing his face repeatedly for the last ten minutes in hopes of getting rid of the blush and the heat he felt. The spot where Eddy kissed him still burned pleasurably, but it was very distracting.

Double D unconsciously shuddered as he remembered what happened only moments ago. How was he supposed to react to that? He imagined Eddy had already forgotten about it, blaming it on the summer heat. But, it was much too difficult for him to forget. It had been so much like the dream... He hoped Eddy's new scam would be enough to distract him from his thoughts. It certainly would be embarrassing enough.

He glanced at the water balloons and smiled when he noticed the color. He wondered if Eddy had done that deliberately. He sighed as he pulled down the front of the dress. He hoped they didn't pop. He carefully placed one balloon in the right cup of the ahem bra, shivering as the cool elastic made contact with his skin. Deciding that they wouldn't pop, he quickly placed the other balloon in the left cup and adjusted the bra accordingly.

He nearly squeaked as he zipped up the dress, the cool balloons were pressed tighter to his chest, causing goose bumps to appear on his arms. Why couldn't Eddy have used warm water? After adjusting the dress, he glanced in the mirror. The faulty breasts did seem to look more realistic than tissue paper. Not only that, but the blush had faded from his skin. This didn't stop him from feeling extremely foolish anyway.

Edd sighed as he pulled on the dress shoes Eddy brought for him, thankful he didn't have to wear pantyhose, but angry that the dress wasn't long enough to cover his feet. He looked nothing like a girl! How Eddy expected to fool everyone in the cul-de-sac was beyond him. At least it would be dark in the tent.

Edd glanced at himself in the mirror one last time before heading outside, making sure to swallow a good portion of his pride to do this.

When he stepped outside the first thing he noticed was the lack of chaos in Eddy's front yard. He had expected Eddy to be chasing Ed while he tore up everything in his path. He was completely surprised to see everything was already set up and in perfect order. Edd vaguely wondered if he'd stepped into the 'Twilight Zone'.

"Greetings Madam Esterzelda!" Ed popped up in front of him with the crystal ball balanced on his head. "Can you see into the sole of my shoes?"

"It's Edsmerelda, burrhead! Now give me that before you break something else!" Eddy growled, yanking the fragile antique off his head.

"Aww, but Eddy! Extra-salsa was going to read my shoes!" Ed whimpered, trying to look like a wounded puppy.

"You're not wearing shoes, Ed!" Eddy said, exasperated.

Ed looked at his bare feet in surprise. "Where did they go? Come back little shoes!" Ed ran down the street towards his house.

"YOU BETTER BE BACK IN TEN MINUTES OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF THE DOUGH!" Eddy yelled after him.

Double D stood there, observing all this while keeping his arms crossed over the fake breasts. The idea of exposing these things made him extremely uncomfortable.

"Damn lummox..." Eddy muttered as he turned towards Double D. He flushed when he gazed into his eyes and noticed Double D had done the same. He quickly averted his eyes and backed up a few paces. "Well, let's see it."

Double D stared at him blankly. "It, Eddy?"

"How you look!" Eddy retorted, exasperated. "Move your damn arms so I can see if you look like a lady!" Eddy had to physically keep from smacking himself at such a stupid comment.

Double D flushed, embarrassed and angry. He already gave up a good portion of his dignity doing this, the least Eddy could do was act grateful. He lowered his arms to the side and glared. "Well? Does the way I look appease you Eddy? Or would you rather see me twirling or striking a pose?" He snapped, his words coming out more vicious than he had intended.

Eddy decided to ignore Double D's comments. He could already sense the tension between them and he didn't need a fight before he pulled of this scam. He looked him up and down, trying not to admire the natural curves on Double D's body. He congratulated himself on a job well done, even the breasts looked real. But something was still wrong...

And he realized what it was.

"Lose the hat." Eddy blurted out without thinking.

"Excuse me?" Double D asked, incredulous.

Eddy stopped, realizing what he just said. He had been friends with Double D long enough to know how sacred that hat was to him. But, he could never understand why he needed it to hide his hair. Even Eddy could admit that Double D's hair was beautiful, (even by girl standards!) he'd thought so the first and only time he saw it. So, just this once, Double D shouldn't mind taking the hat off, right?

Eddy didn't back down. "You heard me."

Double D couldn't believe Eddy, his friend, was asking this of him. Did he even have a single clue of why he wore this hat? Of what he was asking him? After all the years they'd been friends did he even care? Double D stared into Eddy's expressionless face and realized.

No. No, he did not.

Double D felt cold. "No." He whispered, the word coming out just as icy as he felt.

Eddy shuddered, despite himself and stared into Edd's emerald eyes. If there was a time they ever looked so cold, he couldn't remember it. Something inside him was telling him too back down, to not broach the subject and respect his privacy.

But, his anger rose quicker.

"Why the hell not?! You can't look like a real girl with that damn hat on! What are you getting so pissy for?!" He yelled, the callous way Double D was looking at him making him fume.

Double D felt tears prick the back of his eyes, but ignored them. He really didn't understand...' He turned around swiftly and pulled open Eddy's front door. "I'm going to change and then I'm going home." He hissed. "You can find someone else to be your pansy."

Eddy saw red. How dare he talk to me like that!! He was charging towards Double D before he knew what he was doing, Double D was rolling on the grass before he could even blink.

Double D stared up at Eddy, who was now straddling him, in shock. The anger in his eyes was unmistakable, but Double D just glared coolly back at him prepared for any punch he might get.

He wasn't prepared, however, when Eddy began yanking on his hat.

"Just. Take. The. Damn. Thing. Off!" Eddy growled, having difficulty pulling off the hat with Edd's hands in the way.

"What are you doing?! Get off me!" Double D cried, panic tingeing his voice. He knew Eddy was much stronger than him.

Eddy ignored Double D as he managed to pry his fingers off the hat and pull it off. Long, flowing raven hair spilled onto the grass and Eddy gasped. It was more beautiful than he remembered, even in his dream.

Eddy shook himself of the memory and prepared to gloat. "See? That wasn't so ba..." He cut himself off when he noticed Double D's face.

He was crying.

His hand went to smooth back Double D's hair, in an attempt to comfort, without meaning to. "Double D? Wha-?" He cut himself off again as he felt something in Double D's hair.

More appropriately, on his head.

Finding no answer or resistance from Double D, Eddy parted the hair slowly and gasped. A numerous amount of stitches were closing a large bump on Edd's head. When he looked closer, they looked like they were recent and shoddily done. If Eddy didn't know better, he'd say Edd had attempted to do it himself...

He gazed down at Double D and realized that he was the only one capable of even doing it at all. No one else had the equipment or the means. And, besides that, how could he have gotten such a horrible lump? He knew he sure as hell didn't do it and they hadn't done anything 'painful' for days.

Then who?

"Double D...Who did this to you?"

With a rush of strength unknown to him, Double D pushed Eddy off of him. Without an explanation, he snatched his hat and took off running, tears still running down his face.

Without even thinking, Eddy caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "Where ya goin'? I'm just trying to help!"

Double D pulled away from Eddy's hand violently, the action causing one of the water balloons to pop. He didn't even seem to notice the water now seeping through the dress.

"Get away from me!" Double D sobbed out angrily. "I don't need your help, Eddy! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

"I don't think you are! You can't even protect yourself from whoever's doin' that to you!" Eddy was enraged. How could he be so blind to his friend's pain? He'd kill whoever did that to him!

"Who the hell was it?!" He shouted, shaking Double D's shoulders a little more roughly than necessary. "Was it Kevin?! It was, wasn't it?! That sick bastard! I'll kill him!"

"It wasn't Kevin, Eddy!" Double D shouted, still attempting to control his sobs. "Please let me go..." He tried to pull away, weakly.

Eddy couldn't think anyone else in the cul-de-sac was capable of this. "Then who the fuck was it?!" He growled, ready to attack the first kid Edd said.

Something inside Double D broke and he was whimpering out who did it before he could stop himself.

Eddy could barely hear Double D's mumblings. "Who?"

"My father." Double D whispered before breaking down.